| "Ships in the Night" Reviews/Comments [ 46 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 ] |
Reviewed By: MitoFreak On: February 20, 2006 20:42 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great Chapter. I like the idea of having Keitaro leave for a while so everyone can calm down and get some perspective on what happened. Maybe at some point you should have either Keitaro or Tsuroko visit Naru and Motoko to talk with them, hopefully you won't wait too long for someone to talk to each other, in real life feelings fade with time, although this isn't real life.
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Title: Chapter 4
Reviewed By: A-Z Mark II [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2006 18:13 EST
Comment/Review:
All right! New chapter! Good development, and it was gratifying to read about the (slow) realization of the Hina House that assuming that Keitaro FORCED himself Tsuruko is just plain nuts. Expected move with the switch of management, but well-done. Very nice chapter.
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Title: Toshio is an unfaithful, hypocritical b******!
Reviewed By: Grey Wolf [MediaMiner Member] On: February 12, 2006 17:36 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Its me Grey Wolf4 from FF.net, and I would like to know when you will update this. Toshio is obviously an arrogant and his cold attitude is no redeeming factor he was obviously like that with his wife! Would Tsuruko do what she did with Keitaro for any other reason? What he did in chapter 3 was done out of a bruised ego! Anyone can tell that! After this bullshit the Aoyama won't tolerate him anymore and Tsuruko will obviously divorce him and her family will back her to the hilt. Please have Toshio be unceremoniously thrown off the grounds of the Shinmei Ryu! What Tsuruko did with Keitaro is absolutely nothing compared to how Toshio had been treating Tsuruko even before that nor what he did at Hinata. The Aoyama clan and the Shinmei Ryu obviously will see Toshio for what he is an arrogant, selfish, cruel bastard who verbally mistreats his wife! They will support Tsuruko's decision to divorce Toshio! I hope everything ends well with this fic! So please hurry up with the update and I hope to see Toshio pay for what he had been doing to his wife and what he just did to Keitaro. And I also hope the girls will see the error of their ways when they learn the truth. Please update this ASAP
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Reviewed By: Branner Hawk On: February 12, 2006 17:26 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Dennisud 2015 you really are a pathetic man 'What Keitaro and Tsuruko did to Toshio?' give me a break! You didn't even bother to think about what Toshio did to Tsuruko! You are a person without morals or decency and that applies to anyone who agrees with what Toshio did and I pray no woman ever marries or goes out with you! This is a powerful chapter and I loved every bit of it except the girls reactions which are just pathetic! They don't even know what kind of person Toshio is! A wanker who treats his wife like shit and verbally abuses her and its doubtful its been faithful to her either the evidence is all in the chapter!
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Reviewed By: DB Waffles On: January 31, 2006 23:30 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow... powerful chapter im very compelled by this storry good work please keep writing!
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Reviewed By: DB Waffles On: January 31, 2006 23:30 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow... powerful chapter im very compelled by this storry good work please keep writing!
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Reviewed By: dennisud2015 On: January 26, 2006 18:57 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yeah Random's got a mean right hook, but watch out for that left! ;-) I think I agree with what Toshio did. It crippled Keitaro as much as what he and Tsuruko did to him. And given how he was I think I know what will come next. That Pregnancy line sure threw me and I'm sure alot of others for a loop. Should have added a few more lines to add more emphasis to it. I think the eventualt encounter between the Ayoama sisters will be explosive, but still it can be dramatic and gutwrenching as much as it can be forgiving and caring. Great dialogue and plotline. Now we see what happens next! Will Kei leave the inn and the girls or will Tsuruko come to confront them and him? Hmmmm, Interesting! dennisud
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Reviewed By: aassdddsssaaa On: January 26, 2006 15:10 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Brilliant chap, that was some good angst. Hope to see an update soon!
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Title: Keitaro's boat just sunk!
Reviewed By: Hyperman [MediaMiner Member] On: January 26, 2006 13:19 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey, I've read every chapter and I love it! You captured Keitaro perfectly; most guys wouldn't care less if they had an affair or not, they fianlly got laid. Keitaro is not like that however, as you showed us in the second chapter. In the third chapter when Tsuruko's husband shows up, we see just what is about him that made Tsuruko stray. Of course the way the girls treated Keitarto on a daily basis did help things either. I'm not saying that what Keitaro was right, but we see what had a hand in it happening. You are a talented writer and you're on my favorties list, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Title: Chapter 3
Reviewed By: Alpha Zulu On: January 24, 2006 19:44 EST
Comment/Review:
Good chapter. Lots of new choices, and the fallout keeps raining down! Still, I can't help but wonder if Toshio realizes that his actions regarding Keitaro and the LH girls are most likely the traits that drove the wedge between him and his wife that allowed the incident to occur in the first place. His is not a failure of the physical, but rather a failure of the personality, and now that he has once more demonstrated his flaws by damaging Keitaro's relationship with the girls in the house, I think he will be LESS happy than before. And I suspect that he has no realization that by doing so, he has harmed those innocent of involvment in the infidility (mostly Shinobu, but ALL the girls are no irrevocably dragged into this family business of the Aoyamas). Thoughtless harm and unintentional cruelity, indeed!
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Reviewed By: DB Waffles On: January 19, 2006 22:45 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was hopeing for an aftermath update but and plesantly surprised by this fanfic good job and keep up the good work can't wait for the next updates for both stories
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Title: Wow...
Reviewed By: Dark Lord Tokunaga [MediaMiner Member] On: December 27, 2005 22:57 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow is just about all i can say that would even come close to describing what this fic's quality is... Keep up the good work. Also every thing i would have said was already stated by other reviewers.
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Title: Good Tu
Reviewed By: magnilan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 16, 2005 09:30 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Nice turn of events, not many fics out there have a keitaro/tsuruko pairing. Its something different. It keeps me very interested as to whether they may eventually come together. I'll definitely keep a lookout for it, like I have for lost and redemption. Hope to see more of your talents.
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Title: Can you say awesome?!
Reviewed By: Sieg_15 On: December 13, 2005 18:54 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Put simply, this is good. Sure, I want to read more of Aftermath but hey, I'm at a wall in my story so I'm more forgiving to it. Definitely don't see alot of stories like this. I mean, Tsuroko's husband actually alive to begin with. Can't wait to see how this turns out.
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Title: awe...
Reviewed By: feefaifoefum [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2005 10:58 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
me...want...more... that's about the gist of my review... I'M SORRY! i can't leave behind meaningful reviews... because that's just... just too painful... eh, whatever. i like the premise and how you gave this tsuruko/kei-kun fic fun, but twas rather depressing. so dark and, well, dark. it's something i would expect from bubblegum crisis, or noir, but in love hina... t-to even contemplate the ramifications that your fics very existence wou-would imply total chaos... massive overwhelming cheerfulness is no longer relegated to love hina... the implications... well, enough of my ramblings. hope you have fun with this fic, because i had fun reading it.
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| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 ] |
