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| "Vendetta" Reviews/Comments [ 23 ] | | Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] | Reviewed By: stars_infinity On: March 03, 2006 17:07 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
There are a few things about this fic that keep it from being a 10. I marked it down the most for originality: I've seen enslavement fics before, usually not in the DBZ/SM fandom, but most of them are very similar to this. However, Goku's behavior is unique as far as I've seen. Usually he has become a monster or never actually left Vegeta-sei: your concept for him is original as far as I've seen. And I guess the fact that this is a Sailor Moon crossover makes it unique, but I've still seen some of these plot points before. As far as Goku is concerned, I can't say I'm entirely pleased with the character shift. I have quite a fondness for Goku as he was in the series: the powerful warrior with a big heart. But I admire that you're able to keep some of his character intact: I see more and more of the man he was on Earth as the story goes along. I think I was initially unhappy because it didn't seem like it was justified, but as I've read I can understand the change better. I recommend that you continue to show justification as you write. All of the other characters are remarkably true to form, so kudos for that. As for style: I think that some of the characters are not well enough described. It took me a long time to figure out who Zarbon was, and I'm still not sure if I'm supposed to recognize the beady-eyed man who assaulted Hotaru. I think that, for clarity's sake, it would be best for you to spend a little more time and energy creating a picture of the captors and other supporting characters. As far as spelling and grammar are concerned, I think I might have spotted a few sentances that were too run-on. I'm not exactly editing this as I go, of course, so I can't point to something specific. Other than that, though, you have fantastic grammar. In spite of all these things, you'll notice that I gave it's enjoyability a 10. I think that you've created a remarkably wonderful fic, and I'll be sure to look for this to come out with new chapters. Please keep up the amazing work!
| Reviewed By: Neominitails On: March 01, 2006 23:45 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well... I'll save the best for last on this review for this chapter; I'll be honest with it just as you asked. I found this chapter to be sort of boring... but it still had its part that surprised me and kept me reading. Your originlaity is still very high and I'm proud to be reading it, but I had a hard time getting into this chapter... You had a little spelling errors that are easily have slipped over. But I was ver surprised by Hotaru's oart... I was confused and may still be confused of who messed with her ( or who was made inot looking like they did!) But nonetheless I found the intruiging (spelling?) I can't wait til the next update!!
| Title: Rei Vegeta
Reviewed By: Neominitails On: February 26, 2006 20:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoyed this chapter... probably because I love Rei and vegeta's part! Rei... aye... I love that character. I liked how you showed Rei and Mina's protective manner of Serena, especially, the way you kept everyone in character, espcially REI! I hope you update soon.. oh yeah, I love your description. Could you read mys troy 'Fiery Rose'
| Title: FF.net writer
Reviewed By: Neominitails On: February 17, 2006 16:06 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, I'm sorry I didn;t review a long time ao but I just finished with what you have so far!!! I enjoyed this story so far.. so so veyr much!! This is way better than that last story that I reviewed of yours and I can't wait til you update!! I liked the way you kept EACH of your characters in character even in situation it may be hard to do. Such as, Goku and Vegeta when it came to owning slaves... it shows Vegeta's cold hearted ness with the description of what he likes in his slaves (the one that he wants to be in bed with) and how he has so many of them while Goku had none (also showing his pure hearted ways). I loved the SM parts and the battle parts... felt so bad for Michiru.. poor little lady. It looks like Frieza has big plans for Hotaru, eh? I am so glad you pointed me to this story!! I would write more but I have homework to do!! So update Soon!!
| Reviewed By: Jay FicLover doesn't remember her password to sign in On: February 03, 2006 15:17 CST
Comment/Review:
I agree with Miroku! Please come back! It won't be the same without you... I don't feel like writing anymore since I heard you weren't coming to the site again.
| Reviewed By: Jay FicLover doesn't remember her password to sign in On: February 03, 2006 15:16 CST
Comment/Review:
I agree with Miroku! Please come back! It won't be the same without you... I don't feel like writing anymore since I heard you weren't coming to the site again.
| Title: come on
Reviewed By: miroku has darkness On: February 03, 2006 14:59 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please go back to writing on fanfiction it's not the same this is like one of the only good sm/dbz crossover's and your not going to get your wanted reviews from this backwater site you need to get back to the ff.net puerdre we need you
| Reviewed By: Jay FicLover hasn't logged in On: January 30, 2006 13:10 CST
Comment/Review:
I can't believe they took it down in ff(dot)net! What did they say? I don't care about the rating thing, your story was one of the best in the entire section! T_T
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