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| "Kyo" Reviews/Comments [ 19 ] | | Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] | Reviewed By: mm-reviewer [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2006 10:13 CST
Comment/Review:
Your story is interesting but you have serious grammar issues. Two people should never speak in the same paragraph. You are not writing dialogue correctly. This is not a flame. I think your story is good, but you need to get help with your paragraph structure. A new paragraph should be started when a different person speaks, when a new action occurs, when a different person thinks about the current situation or the point of view changes, when the setting changes or time passes, or when one person reacts to what another person says. Pick up a paperback novel and study how the paragraphs are structured. Or go to a good fanfic writer's story and see how the paragraphs are structured. Here is a story with good paragraph structure: http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_st.php/54993 (although it is not necessary to indent the first sentence in each paragraph as long as a blank line is between them). Blank lines between paragraphs actually help the reader follow the sentences better on a computer screen. Keep the paragraphs fairly short, no more than five to ten lines long and it will make it easier for the reader to read your story. Again, this is not a flame. I hope this information helps you. More people will read and review your story if you use correct grammar and paragraph structure. Sure, the reviews that say, "i
| Reviewed By: kagomerocks241 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2006 21:52 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
you have to update this story I want ot know what inuyasha will say about kyo
| Reviewed By: angel_of_hope [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2006 17:10 CST
Comment/Review:
It ws good, but chapters need to be a little longer.
| Title: Great Story
Reviewed By: Woobaby [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2006 10:05 CST
Comment/Review:
This is sooo good. I can't wait to read more. Little Kyo is cute and I love the way Kagome takes care of people.
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