| "Riazen's Story" Reviews/Comments [ 28 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: SoarMore_FlyHigher [MediaMiner Member] On: July 24, 2006 14:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yeah, more goodness! Well, atleast they didn't completely fall for the illusions. Like I said, work on your description a lot. I stress this because when you read a story, you want to be able to see what you are reading. What are they doing besides walking around? What are they thinking? How do they feel? Why do they feel it? You are good with most of these questions, but I can't see the maze they are in. -takes a blow up bat with words on it that say 'more description and update soon on it and hits you on the head- Exactly as the balloon says. ^.^
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Reviewed By: SoarMore_FlyHigher [MediaMiner Member] On: July 24, 2006 14:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Aw, I feel special now. ><
I really do enjoy your story. I suggest you leanr to write a bit more in each chapter. I used to have that problem too when I couldn't figure out more to write. The thing is to combine the ideas for one chaoter with your idea for the next chapter, so it'll be longer and you can get it down before you forget and wind up updating months after you promised you would. Great job.
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Reviewed By: Chaos Blade [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2006 17:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Dang!!! Youko's smarter then the other two!!! But are the going to get out?! shudder creepy, Kuronue's talking to a ghost and who, besides you, knows what the heck Lila's in. Like the dagger binf the only way to get rid of Kayla. Very nice and works well. Can't wait for the next update. (you also fatter me. Mute's not that good!)
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Reviewed By: Chaos Blade [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2006 13:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
Chills running up spine here!!! Great, but isn't splitting up how everybody always dies in the movies? I like the way this is going and it's picking up speeding and holding my attention. I was happy (and surprised!) when I looked for the story again and saw how many chapters had come up since the last time I had looked. Don't know why I expect evey one to a slow an updater as me but I was really happy to read each of this chapter and watch the plot play out. But now what's gonna happen. Did you really kill Leslie or did something else happen? And Lila's gotta be in some sort of dream thing. And what about Youko! I can't wait to see houw this keeps going! I really like this.
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Reviewed By: SoarMore_FlyHigher [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2006 12:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
Glad you updated! Oooooh, I hope they aren't going around in circles. That would be most irritating. Well, I can't wait for more from your story, and good luck with getting more reviews! Peace out.
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Reviewed By: SoarMore_FlyHigher [MediaMiner Member] On: June 28, 2006 16:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good story. I'm actually liking this so far. Maybe you should aim for more in a chapter, and a lot more description. I'm not feeling what I should be feeling from the setting, just make sure, if you do add more description, you don't go all Lord of The Rings and take up seventeen pages of drabble about a rock with moss. ^.^;; Grammar is good, only one or two errors for the whole thing, but I've seen such fan fictions all over the place, but yours is more enjoyable 'cause you didn't have Kuronue and Kurama togethr. I see that a lot, so originality is good. Like I said, you could do a lot better, so keep up the awesome work! I would have reviewed sooner, but I couldn't for a while 'cause it kept on being annoying and saying I had to login in while I actually was. >
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Title: Yo!
Reviewed By: Drowned_in_light [MediaMiner Member] On: June 15, 2006 00:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yo! This is Drowned_in_light and i was just stopping by to review your story. I do have to agree with Yusuke though that the title doesn't exactly match the story right now. But like you said Raizen'll come in soon. Just a a few pieces of advice, you might want to try spacing your paragraphs more, it makes it easier to read and more appealing to the eye. And you might want to check the official spelling of some of the charater names, Like Raizen and Kuroune. It has an interest plot line so far and I hope that you do continue.
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Reviewed By: kahuffstix [MediaMiner Member] On: June 11, 2006 16:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
oh what is it i want to know. i liked this. please add more soon.
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Reviewed By: kahuffstix [MediaMiner Member] On: June 11, 2006 11:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
they are so happy. it makes me happy. i liked this. please add more soon.
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Reviewed By: kahuffstix [MediaMiner Member] On: June 10, 2006 15:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
aw how beautiful. i liked this. please add more soon.
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Reviewed By: Chaos Blade [MediaMiner Member] On: May 16, 2006 17:35 CDT
Comment/Review:
Interesting! Hah Yusuke fell asleep. Definite have somewhere to go with this story, it's only just getting started. Keep going.
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Reviewed By: kahuffstix [MediaMiner Member] On: April 19, 2006 17:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
cool. i liked this. please add more soon.
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Reviewed By: kahuffstix [MediaMiner Member] On: April 18, 2006 16:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
cool. i liked this. please add more soon.
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| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
