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| "Going into Kingdom Hearts" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] | Reviewed By: red3 On: March 22, 2007 15:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow great idea of making them fall inlove that is perfict i just want to say that i an't wait to see wats goin to hapen your realy good at making clifhaners well can'y wait hope you update soon =)
| Title: Spelling
Reviewed By: FFXInuyasha1 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 10, 2006 16:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hello. Well after taking a look at certain chapters I see that spelling and most importantly, grammar is not being used correctly. I can't claim to be the best writer/speller but it would help your readers out a little if they could understand what you are saying (including me). Thank you for your time. Your Friendly Neighborhood Reviewer FFXInuyasha1
| Title: blah blah
Reviewed By: Reckard On: August 09, 2006 19:38 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
oops
| Title: Renvade-Forgetless Alchemic
Reviewed By: Reckard On: August 09, 2006 19:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow. I've been reading this since chapter 4/3/2 maybe and I;v never written an actual review for it.. Probably left too happy after reading a chapter. Now, I really do have to agree with dragon88. your spelling and parts of grammer is a bit far off. Don't know a kh word? google it and it'll probably bring up the rigt character. but otherwise, good.. My, my, my.. This really is a bad reprensentation of script fics today. This, in no way, wll be good as a script fic. Its a very a very hard and challenging oposition, which should not be handled like any other averge scene in a norm fic. Though, I doubt that was your intention anyway. It sounds an awful lot better to say, Christy looked up in hesitation, slightly unerving at the newly formed chat they had made. "Yeah..but..this is just the first game," she said in haste. "Theres a whole adventure in front of now..and its not going to be fun. , then to say, Christy:(looked up) yea..but..this is just the first game...theres a whole adventure ahead of us now...and its going to be fun... Your description dosen't have to be that much, but it helps to compliment the wonderful complentation of a sentence describing tension, and a scarred fear of what the future beholds. Moving on.. Originality..ooh..well, thats a little bit..lack there of. I mean, c'mon, a girl winds up in kingdom hearts, gets a keyblade, falls in love with riku, minorly changing the course of events the game is supposed to do, and tags along with sora and co. with there adventures telling them what will happen. All that up to "tags" is a completely generic story thats been published a thousand times. Now the rest of it is...still a bit too common, but it works! Remember, your character is a girl that was never supposed to be in Kingdom hearts. What complications could happen bcause of two keyblades? Will the authority of "keyblade master" be passed onto christy instead? Is the kh world she inhabits really just a mechanical world, and how did she get there, and how will her very existance in there impact the adventures of Sora and co. with her vast knowledge reveal hidden elwements previuosly only seen in kh 2, ripping apart the true boundries of sora, kairi and rikus destinies!? Give me somthing like that in your story, and its already up to 10. You can keep your enjoyable, though commercialized, plot of christy and riku too, just aslong as you have enough creativety along with it, this'll be somwe hell of a fan-fic. But now, even with all these mayjor flaws and mnistakes, you've managed to keep me all too hooked. When I first came here and saw all the averege kh fan-fics based soley on going to kh with mediocore style, somthing here got me so, SO loving it and made me bookmark this place right to this specific fan-fic. Perhaps its tghe way of Christys backround, or how you made her react so well with the other characters, but whatever it is, it shows your a fabulous writer with great potential. Rock ON!!! Now through it all, I guess this really deserves a 7, yet that last bit made me bump it up a notch. This is a wonderful story with so much to become, just put a litttle more polish, and MAN, your so makin me advertise this.. : Dragon88, you know it wasn't THAT bad.. this is just constructive crit, no flame, even if some parts seemed so.
| Reviewed By: Xaio Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: July 01, 2006 17:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is very interesting, though I forgot I hadn't added it to my favorites, I have now, so when you update I'll know and write a review. Can't wait for the next chapter.
| Reviewed By: Xaio Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2006 16:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
Interesting, was it Alice who screamed, or someone else, guess I'll have to wait to find out, uh?
| Title: Christina!!ur bff
Reviewed By: I love it On: June 12, 2006 17:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
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| Title: omg i love it
Reviewed By: Christina!!ur bff! On: May 23, 2006 17:47 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg u making me go crazy u have to keep writting cuz if u don't i will hurt u at school jk! any pleaze pleaze pleaze put me in the story!!!!!!! im dying and u no that any way great job and memeber sora is mine!!!
| Title: AWSOME!
Reviewed By: Silver_fox_fire [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2006 21:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
MAN YOU SOOOOOO ROCK!!! hey r u going to go kh 2? CAUSE I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT YOU TO PUT ROXAS IN IT TOO! I LOVE ROXAS ...wait this is your fanfic....so yeah w/e your choice BUT PLEASE GO ON I LOVE THIS I EVEN ADDED IT TO MY FAV.! SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PPLLLEEEAAASSSEE GOOOO ON!!!
| Reviewed By: dragon88(too lazy to log in) On: May 19, 2006 15:45 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
Don't take the ratings the wrong way, I think it's about time someone gave you a bit of a 'help-out' when it comes to the story. Now remember that this is help and not a flame. -It's "Kairi" first off. Whatever anyone else has told you about another spelling in the English language, it's likely to be incredibly wrong. If you do not believe me, pay heed to the subtitles in the game, the game manuals, any other fan fiction, or fanart for that matter. It's everywhere. -Second off, it's "Traverse Town" not "Travis Town." Just look it up anywhere stated above and you're sure to get the correct spelling as well. -Third, you tell so much more than you show. If this doesn't make since, it feels more like you're telling the story to me at lunch or something. Or you just returned from your grand adventure with Riku and you're rushing to talk about it. Take the time to write everything out like an actual story and not a script-like format. Thank you for your time. Best of luck to you. -dragon88
| Reviewed By: lovely liz On: May 18, 2006 22:56 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i cant wait for the next chapter it is realy good no lies there. what happen to kairi where did she go and whats going to happen next. in till next time ill be waiting.
| Reviewed By: Xaio Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: May 12, 2006 16:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
Travis town, what's travis town? keep it up, its so very good.
| Reviewed By: Xaio Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: May 10, 2006 17:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
What, what did he say! You can't end a chapter there, oh wait, your suppose to make it so the reader wants to read more so you leave a cliff hanger, sry. Any ways that is the long version of saying please continue.
| Title: Excellent
Reviewed By: Xaio Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: May 01, 2006 13:08 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Really good, please write more. By the way it is Kiari, just to let you know. Maybe you missed the a when you were typing? Any ways excellent.
| Title: formerly known as moogle64
Reviewed By: m64 On: April 30, 2006 21:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
oh yeah! nothing better than reading fanfics after a 1/2 year abstinance, and i gotta tell ya, your fic helped me remember those good times. (sighs) yep, anyway, great fic! i hope ya update really soon. btw, isn't her name Kairi? just makin' sure, later!
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