Title: Oh well...
Reviewed By: Youffie On: June 04, 2006 10:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
... hmm... The writing is pretty good, and so is the grammar and stuff like this. But it isn't very original, I'm sorry. I guess that this factor would be better if you wouldn't have written a rape. At your first attempt, you should try to describe something linked to love, and this fanfiction wasn't so. And even if wanted to write a story contenting a rape, you should be careful: no girl, no woman, no one enjoys being raped. NO ONE. You have potential, develop it! So please, don't do stupid things like this. Besides, Tseng was very OOC: he is in love with Aeris, he saw her growing. He never could do something so brutal, don't you think? And in general, if you'll write more lemon (and I hope so... Even if it doesn't seem:P) don't write thinghs like "Ohh... Yessss... Don't stoooop... OOOOOHH", becouse is very stupid and very irrealistic. It seems a pornofilm... And I guess that you don't want writing a porn, right?:) One last note: be less detailed! We know that Tseng is excitated, and for this his groin is kindling, and there is lust and blahblabla.. We know that. And I can assure that stuff as this is in a great number of fanfiction, unfortunately, so what would push a reader to enjoy, remember and review this story if it's the same of the others? Okay. I've finished. If you want to reply and talk with me, or if you want some help, I have an account on FF.Net at this name... Ciaaaaoooo P.S.: erhm, it would be better if you avoid to write more of an question mark when a character asks something (for exemple, not: "Am I stupid??", but "Am I stupid?") P.P.S.: I'm Italian and I've also write this review in hurry, so I'm sorry for eventual errors...
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