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| "A Story Retold" Reviews/Comments [ 22 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] | Title: Chap. 2
Reviewed By: TGoddess On: October 13, 2004 21:23 CDT
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And your writing continues to amaze me. Somehow, I have a feeling things won't be better for a long time...
| Title: Chapter One
Reviewed By: TGoddess On: October 13, 2004 21:23 CDT
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What a nice style of writing you have, Katrina Kadabra! I've enjoyed your writing so far!
| Reviewed By: Katrina Kadabra On: July 21, 2003 13:29 CDT
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Hi there, Katrina here. (Stupid computer isnīt letting me log on.) Thanks for reading the story, Methodic. Please e-mail when youīre finished, Iīd love to hear what you think of the ending. I found out later that the name "star" was already used, but for Yuiren, it still works. Tamahome probably did notice about Yuirenīs name, I just never had him comment on it. (Probably should have, though. Oh well, thatīs what sequels are for.)
-Katrina | Reviewed By: methodic madness On: July 19, 2003 20:09 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey, cool fic so far. I'm only on the 2nd part right now. Poor Yui - is she doomed to always get screwed over by the book? (err, no pun intended...). And does Nakago know she was raped, because if so she's not a virgin and can't function as Seiryuu's miko, and he'd have to reason to protect her....Oh well, I guess I should just keep reading and find out, ne? ^_^ | Reviewed By: methodic madness On: July 19, 2003 21:15 CDT
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Ok, I'm on ch. 17 now, and I've finally gotten the full explanation of how Yui can still summon Seiryuu, and who the 8th warrior is (boy, I wasn't expecting that!). This story really is very entertaining, and I like how you've portrayed Yui - a mix of maturity and childishness, appropriate for a 15 or 16 year old going through some serious life events. (That kid of hers is a little creepy though... ^_~ Did Tamahome ever notice she has the same name as his little sister? ) Yui's one of my favorite characters in FY, and there are few authors who can give *both* her and Miaka a fair portrayal - most tend to bash one in favor of the other, but yours are pretty much in character.
~MM~
PS: A little nitpick - I believe Hotohori already has claim on the character "Star" as a seishi symbol, but oh well, not a big problem so far in this story... | Reviewed By: Suzaku_123 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 20, 2002 04:43 CST
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I like the story!I wish you could make more chapters! | Reviewed By: Winter On: October 16, 2002 13:41 CDT
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I loved it! There were definitely plenty of twists I was not expecting! I'll still be looking forward to reading the revised chapters as you post them, but I utterly enjoyed reading the rough drafts, too. I love how things came full circle like in the original, but with so many changes along the way, allowing the characters to truly grow. You did a fantastic job with the plot, and I enjoyed reading the ending scenes (even if Nakago was exceptionally cruel *g*). And, again, I loved your treatment of Yui. I think you did an honest portrayal of her, touching on both her strengths and her weaknesses. Kudos! I look forward to reading more of your work!
Take care,
Winter | Reviewed By: AniDragon [MediaMiner Member] On: October 02, 2002 19:09 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wai! Wai! Wai! Wai!!! I loved it!! Sorry it took me so long to review... Stupid school and homework... -_-... Anyway, it was great! ^^. Glad I could help out! | Reviewed By: Teski On: September 14, 2002 17:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
What happens next
This i an inticing fan fic and it was very well written!!! | Reviewed By: Winter On: September 13, 2002 14:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm really enjoying this fic! And after that last ending, I *really* have to read more! Yui is my favorite character in FY, so I always love to read fics centering on her (thanks for turning this to Yui's POV!). =)
The baby angle was entirely unexpected, but I like how you handled it. Not everyone knows how to deal with a newborn automatically, especially not a fifteen-year old girl, so I thought Yui's initial reaction to the baby was fairly realistic. I also love how she came to her 'realizations' about how to live her life, as opposed to wallowing in suffering. I thought that was her biggest flaw in the series (I haven't seen the OVAs, either).
One little nitpick I do have, though, is on Nakago. I suppose it really is all up to an individual's interpretation, but Nakago happeend to be my second favorite character in the series, so reading him being so cruel is, well, very cruel! *g* But it is your story, and you have every right to portray the characters as you see them, so pay no attention to my ramblings.
Again, I am looking forward to reading more of this fic. Cliffhanger endings aside, there are still a lot of very interesting developments that I'd like to see play out, especially in regards to Yuiren. And, of course, the summoning of Seiryuu. *g*
Take care,
Winter | Reviewed By: AniDragon [MediaMiner Member] On: September 12, 2002 17:07 CDT
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To writer and The Name Game: Well... I don't know what everyone else thinks, but I personaly think this little review battle is entertaining.... Maybe it's just me... ^^;;;;
To The Name Game: Okay... I do see some of your points, but there's some stuff where you're just straying from your original point. Not to mention making false accusations. Did you even read the whole fic? Because if you had, you'd have noticed that the author's skill improves with each chapter, and any biases that might have been present in earlier chapters compleatly disapear by the end. In the latest few chapters, all characters have seemed to be compleatly in character to me.
Now, lesse.... Yeah, I think that's it.... And to the author: You have a waaayyyy better chance of becoming famous then I do, I can tell you that much. You're style COULD use a bit of improvement, but like I mentioned earlier, you're getting better with every chapter, so keep it up! ^^ | Reviewed By: Katrina Kadabra [MediaMiner Member] On: September 10, 2002 21:16 CDT
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Thank you, Trool! ^_^
To Name Game:
I never said this was based on the OVA. Where did you read that? This takes place right after the first 52 episodes and does not take into account to OVA at all. As the writer, it is at my discretion when I start the story. You as the reader merely assumed where I picked up. When I posted this story on other sites, I actually wrote that detail out. But since this is my rough draft on this site, I've yet to add that on.
My apologies for calling you a coward, but that has been my general experience with people who leave anonymous comments. They usually say something rude and then leave. I still think you are inconsiderate, because you are leaving comments that are vague in description and directly insult the author, not giving constructive criticism. If you didn't like my story, that's fine. Tell me what you would like to see happen to make it a better story. Where does insulting me without reason get either of us?
For the record, I have seen the OVA and do know the difference between that and the original series. I personally did not like what the OVA did with the story, which is why I chose not the write about it.
If you want to reply further, please e-mail me through my profile. I don't think everyone reading my reviews cares to see us going back and forth on this topic.
As far as me being famous, yes, we WILL see. ^_^ | Reviewed By: Trool On: September 10, 2002 20:57 CDT
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This is a great story. Don't listen to "The Name Game" I don't think he know what he's talking about. The story is about Yui. The point of the story is to tell what would happen if she did get raped...And if "The Name Game" doesn't get it then it's his loss. | Reviewed By: The Name Game On: September 10, 2002 17:53 CDT
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Hate to burst your bubble, as well, for you seem to forget that this story you have written was based on the OVA ,where both characters are more mature, especially Miaka ,after the ordeal Yui had put her through. So, if your writing will based only on what you want to see rather than what happened then you're making a big mistake in writing something that should have put emphasis on things like the timeline of the story. If you're going to write something, make sure that you consider all things first especially since this is from somewhat akin to the OVA series.
And if you think I'm a coward ,then I think you are stupid for you don't know the difference between the original 52 episodes from the OVA.
As for being famous, let's wait and see if you will ever be one, shall we? | Reviewed By: Katrina Kadabra [MediaMiner Member] On: September 10, 2002 07:03 CDT
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Hate to burst your bubble, but authors genereally DO write based on their feelings. Yes, this story reflects a lot of my views. It's SUPPOSED to! Even Yu Watase said of Fushigi Yugi, "Once my story gets published in a magazine, then it becomes part of each reader's imagination, fueled by the way he or she feels about the characters." So if you don't like how I perceive the characters in my story, no one is forcing you to read it. I don't have anything against Miaka, but I like Yui better, and I thought it would would make an interesting story to explore her views on things, or rather my interpretation of her views.
As I've said before, I think people who leave insulting comments without their ID on this site are frankly just cowards. But if you're going to insist on it, I see things as follows: Famous writers always get a lot of bad feedback from people who don't realize their true genius! ^_^ | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] |
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