Title: Just one thing I noticed
Reviewed By: colufs [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2007 12:28 CST
Comment/Review:
I didn't enter a rating, mainly because this is a manga I've wanted to read and haven't been able to yet. I don't know the character's personalities, so I can't comment on how you've developed them. There is just one thing I wanted to comment on though because it was really bothering me. Your first sentence and I thought I noticed it a little after that. You're not switching between tenses but it almost seems like you're switching between an omniscient/bystander point of view and a third person type of view. I guess they're technically the same.. but to me they're very different. You should consider this if you decide to review your story. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, then feel free to get in touch.
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