| "A Different Reality" Reviews/Comments [ 36 ] |
| Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] |
Reviewed By: mousetrap [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2007 23:22 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Looks like a great story line and it seems like you planned ahead instead of writing off the top of your head. I am very interested in finding out what will develop but are you going to bring in any of the other rookie nine and neji into the picture? cant wait for more.
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Title: Good to have you back
Reviewed By: Mirena [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2007 17:03 CDT
Comment/Review:
I have enjoy your take on the divergence from the story, and your fic is enjoyable. Wonder how will Naruto react now that he has had some proper attention and training for 5 years.
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Reviewed By: funnyduckie1 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2007 13:53 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
GREAT FIC!!! plz update soon!!!
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Reviewed By: mimicv18 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 28, 2007 11:53 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
like i said befor with so little its hard to rate but its realy good so far. Just so you realise when Naruto returns he would be high A rank to maybe low S rank ninja after constant training every day all day from a sannin as well as having the nine tailed fox sealed inside him. On that note consider changing the graduation age at the Ninja acadmy to 14 or maybe even 16 so you can actualy have a realistic paring rather than this pre teen crap you get in so many other fictions were the age of graduation is still 12, all so the fights will have a much more realistic view to them rather then all these 12 year olds beating each other up and spouting off about the truths of the world when they havent even done or learnt enouth yet to even know what there going on about most the time and having them 2 or 4 years older then you planed has no effect on the overall story line but makes what you write seem more realistic. Maybe you can still use the whole controling fire and air idea from may last review, hint, hint, hint lol. Heres a tip for when you write a fight scean, dont have every one say there jutsus as it slows down the fight scean and makes them look stupid as only idiots tell the enemy what Jutsu you are about to do i mean there ninja for crying out loud masters of stealth and assinination so you can just do this instead: Naruto jumped back, shooting off a dozen fire balls at Zabuza befor going into a backwards roll as he landed raising wall of earth to block the hail of water bullets: hope you consider it dont worry though i will continue to read ever way, good luck with the next chapter
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Reviewed By: mimicv18 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 24, 2007 09:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
its hard to rate on only one chapter but i did my best its good so far and i can see many different places to take this story so which is good becouse it means i can not guess where its going. it would be cool thou if he ran away and got pick up by Zabuza and Haku and was traind by them, but he could controll fire and air like Haku controlls water ecept opposits so while water takes lots of controll and very little power fire takes very little controll and lots of power which Naruto has in spades. So all Naruto does is take all the water jutsu's Zabuza and Haku know and change them to fire and air. then when team 7 take the mission to the land of waves after Haku and Zabuza dies Kakashie takes Naruto back for interagation and Naruto ends up joining the leaf. thou you would have to make the graduation age 14 rather than 12 so it becomes easyer to have relationships as when the chunin exams come around they would all be about 15 going 16 plus this way Naruto could spend more time with Zabuza and Haku learning. hint hint hint lol its your story so its up to you i do hope thou that you dont make the same mistake loudes of people make and just have a nother Naruto does every thing the same just he is better story line. good look!!!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: Saric [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2007 22:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
very very interesting to read hope to be able to read more chapters.
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| Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] |
