|
| "Sonic X: Episode X53" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: I'm sick of all this parade, just stop! just kill Tails or bring back Cosmo and kill Eggman
Reviewed By: Mewni24 On: February 03, 2023 19:39 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh so do you know why I'm saying this? So you think this is a good
idea to make Tails trying to revive Cosmo, then Eggman kidnaps.
Then you never say anything about Cosmo for the REST of this
fanfiction and you keep adding more characters into this story of
yours and completely forget about what Tails trying to do in the
beginning. Stop it! You are not like those in SEGA. And I'm sick of
this entire parade. Just stop it already, I'm sick of this entire
fighting Eggman arc, just kill him already so this can be over.
Just fricking kill Tails already. I WANT IT TO STOP!!!!
| Title: Critical review, that has likely missed the poitn of your story.. ^^;
Reviewed By: Shadow 6271 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 10, 2007 09:05 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
hmm.. im gonna be the critical type k? whilst you seem to have a solid direction and story with this fiction, there are two things i think you gotta work on, first your description needs work. For example, in the first chapter Tails goes from one thing to another really too quickly. "Suddenly, a bright light appears in an opposite corner of his workshop. Eggman then walks out of the light, and into Tails' workshop" this is direct, but often it really helps to add more senses and surroundings to something. like so: "Tails jumped back as a blinding white light sprang into existence near him, almost cutting into his precious machine, and its cargo. Tails gasped as the silhouette of a man began to show, and a grinning Eggman stepped into the room" Etc. 2, writing gets confusing later on. like the reader has to spend a few moments figuring it out sometimes, specially with so many author notes flyin round. you may wanna think bout changing them to Bold or italic so there easier ^^ apart from that, i hope your fiction does well and i especially hope you can get your revenge on me by criticising my fics lol. god knows theres enough there, but spelling doesnt count. im not good at english ^^;
|
|
|
