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| "Ultimatum" Reviews/Comments [ 109 ] | | Pages (8): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 › » ] | Title: Don't make us wait
Reviewed By: inu_luver_2004 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 12, 2008 20:32 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this fic. It has action, comedy, and even a few hints at romance. It is great please up date soon!!
| Reviewed By: Starlet Angel [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2008 08:21 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ooo! I'm really enjoying this story! Something a little different from the usual vein. Keep writing and I'll certainly keep reading. Thank you for the original story!
| Reviewed By: hellfire95X [MediaMiner Member] On: September 27, 2008 13:54 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Nice cliffy, Please update soon this is getting so good!
| Reviewed By: madmiko, notsigned in On: September 26, 2008 23:44 EDT
Comment/Review:
Here I haven't even had time to review chapter 17 and you already have another chapter up! You've really been busy! ^_^ So, I'll start with chapter 17. The idea behind the chapter was good--I know you wanted to have Hiei and Kagome actually spend some time together and get to know each other. That was a good way to do it. And I liked the back and forth of their banter. It's very IC of Kagome to give back as good as she gets. But Hiei's part of the conversation seemed very OOC. I actually cringed when he said "Tadah." He was being too dramatic. And I couldn't figure out why he couldn't seem to figure out a lot of things. His denial that they were connected mind-to-mind, after he had just told HER that they were in a dream together again made him seem not too bright. For someone who is a master of mind manipulation, he fell for the door trap awfully easily, too, when even Kagome knew that walking through the door wasn't a way to wake up. (Of course, I'm skipping ahead there to chapter 18.) Kagome's reasoning was odd, too. "It doesn't seem like Naraku is controlling the dream, so you are attracted to me." Huh? He wasn't acting attracted in any way. Which seems to support what he said earlier about the attraction being completely manipulated by Naraku. And they never did figure out how/why they are connected. They figured out how Naraku is connected to Kagome, (that was a nice touch--having him absorb Kikyou and Kikyou having a part of Kagome's soul being the explanation: kudos!), but not how Kagome and Hiei are connected. I did like the leap you made there to say that Kagome is basically immortal without that piece of her soul. I didn't understand what Hiei was saying, though, when he tried to comfort her with "I won't lock you up in a room ... like the one Greek goddess ..." No, he wouldn't lock her in a room--he was going to let her get her brain sucked out. His effort to comfort her seemed out of place, and not because he was awkward trying to do it. It just didn't seem to fit the situation. "Even to his own ears he sounded desperate." The way you worded that makes him sound really OOC. I'll have to do chapter 18's review separately or I'll run out of characters to write. So, I'll just leave off here by summing up that I really liked the idea you had for this chapter, but Hiei's characterization went quite a bit astray. You had a lot of nice, original parts, though, like the Pandora comparison, that really added a lot of flavor and an interesting side to it. ^_^
| Reviewed By: Rainstorm61879NSI On: September 26, 2008 22:28 EDT
Comment/Review:
YOU ARE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!! that is just a terrible cliffy to leave us with.
| Title: Ch 17
Reviewed By: lavie [MediaMiner Member] On: September 21, 2008 02:30 EDT
Comment/Review:
it's been awhile, so I reread your story from the beginning. it's pretty good. FYI: ya missed a word in "She swiped her palms under [ ] eyes." Anyway, will wait patiently for next chapter. Thanks! Ja ne!
| Reviewed By: nightshade41230 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 01, 2008 01:29 EDT
Comment/Review:
love the story I can't wait to read more hope to see it soon
| Reviewed By: AkureiAbduction On: July 25, 2008 14:31 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OH My Gawd. Please update soon. :0 I love this story.
| Title: wow
Reviewed By: SFP [MediaMiner Member] On: July 20, 2008 05:18 EDT
Comment/Review:
Love it! Love it! love it! your story is great, glad I read it! P.S. by the way, thanks for the review.
| Title: wow
Reviewed By: SFP [MediaMiner Member] On: July 20, 2008 05:17 EDT
Comment/Review:
Love it! Love it! love it! your story is great, glad I read it! P.S. by the way, thanks for the review.
| Reviewed By: missingnin On: July 12, 2008 21:41 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
nice chpater, the tension is killing me. Most people would probably be against kagome's plan simply because she's helping out naraku in a way, but i have to agree with kag's, i don't want anyone to mess with my mind. I wonder exactly how her plan works though. this story seems to be bringing out my sadistic side once again, its so much fun to be that way. So will it truly be a betrayal? Could it actually be still called a betrayal when the others are betraying you, or is it simply vengence? It was funny that the dreams could actually have been stopped a long time ago. It's sad to think that family could be so easily swayed even though yusuke is in a precarious situation, and now when it seems that he and the rest of the tentei can finally work with kagome even though they violated her like that, an ultimatum comes into play. I actually want to see Kuwabara and yusuke break from their decision to give up kagome, even though it's not exactly their choice. My how the fools shall suffer, but i wonder exactly what will kagome's sentence be after the whole naraku business tides over, provided she lives through it.
| Reviewed By: Broken Tainted Wings [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2008 16:24 EDT
Comment/Review:
So.... beautiful!!! I really loved this chapter!!!
| Reviewed By: inu_luver_2004 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 10, 2008 01:20 EDT
Comment/Review:
I love it!! It is so nice to see Kagome with a spine. Please give me more!! I am so loving this fic!!!!!!!!!!!
| Reviewed By: Jessica Cowley [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2008 23:23 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Love it. But why did you end it. I want more. I been waiting for this story to update for so long. =]]]]]
| Reviewed By: madmiko [MediaMiner Member] On: July 09, 2008 05:27 EDT
Comment/Review:
Well, that was completely wicked angst-ridden. Even when they found out how wrong they had been about her, they still treated her like she was completely expendable. I'm not sure I understand Koenma's stance at all, -- that it would be better to trade Kagome for Keiko. If Naraku wants Kagome, that means that he will benefit from having her somehow. If he benefits, then he will most likely become stronger. If he becomes stronger, they're all screwed. And how is one human's life worth more than another one, -- especially when the other one is a priestess of no little power, (though it keeps disappearing), and has knowledge of the Shikon jewel. If he was measuring the worth of the individual to the Spirit World, then Kagome would be way above Keiko. Even if they wipe her mind, if Naraku HAS her, there is always the chance he will be able to use her to get the jewel. And Koenma has already deduced that Kagome and Hiei must have a bond. Are none of them going to consider that wiping her mind and/or letting her be killed might have some effect on him? I really was hoping for more fallout when everyone discovered Hiei's connection to her. And why should Yusuke care if someone's "fucking" his cousin when he's willing to give her up to someone who they've SEEN torture someone? And he knows that she's already been through that. I don't think Yusuke would be able to live with himself. And Kuwabara would NEVER agree to let a girl be turned over to someone to be killed or tortured. Hmmm. I was just wondering if they begin wiping Kagome's mind, will Hiei immediately lose control of the Jagan? Skipping past all that, though, I really expected Kagome to volunteer to be switched for Keiko. Really. I was completely shocked when she didn't. Hiei's protests that Naraku must have been controlling him in those dreams really sucked. Kagome should have jumped on it and agreed that he must have been controlling HER, too. Really, this was an awesome chapter, but I've got to tell you that I don't have any good feelings for anyone in the story except Kagome, and I'm a little iffy on her right now. I didn't really see any torment in Yusuke over giving up the little girl who is his cousin, who he was so worried about in the beginning, to a monster. If their relationship is broken, he is the one who broke it. Kuwabara isn't championing her and seems rather ... lame. There's no growth or development of a relationship with Hiei and Kagome, and he's really just an ass, considering the dreams and that he OWES her. (What if she calls in that favor right now?) And Kurama is being quite an ass, too. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for ruthless on his part. But I'm not sure he's being all that smart here. Keiko is nothing to him. I would think he would insist on finding the jewel first. Kagome's knowledge of that just makes her the more valuable of the two. And since when would this group of "heroes" hand over someone to the enemy? No sneaky plan? Wiping the memory of the one person who knows where the Shikon no Tama is really doesn't seem all that smart. She's also the only person who can purify it/keep it purified. If it's ever discovered, without HER, it will become corrupted. And why didn't they just keep on with the shifting through her memories thing until they found out what happened to it? They didn't go back NEARLY far enough. They should have rewound to the Feudal Era battles and come forward from there. *sigh* So many, many questions and thoughts about this. How am I supposed to work on my own intrigue when you've got all this going on? LOL!! I'll be checking out your blog to see what all you have to say. And I sure hope your writing goes smoothly and quickly, -- I'm on the edge of my seat! ^_^
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