| "Only Second Best" Reviews/Comments [ 21 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: LadyCash [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2007 03:22 CST
Comment/Review:
Hi sweetie, hope you're okay. You're story is really pretty good. Heavy on the angst, so it's dark reading, and sometimes the effects of that are hard to review. Could you show IY's POV/feelings about all this? Is he as frantic as K's mom, or just brushing it off? Does he realize the tie between her behavior and his own? Will he do anything about it? Now that she's had a suicide attempt, will this finally open his eyes? Give us his side of the story, good or bad. It helps keep a story from being 'flat' and one dimensional. Is he going through such angst as well? Let us see it. By having no true 'bad guy' you force the reader to really get into the story and look at things from their perspective. It forces them to think (always a good thing, I believe). But of course, if he is a jerk in this, well, that's how it goes, but I'd like to see it. Show us!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2007 00:38 CST
Comment/Review:
hope you will feel better soon... god bless and take care!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2007 00:36 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
great update... so kagome was taken to the hospital... and she might die... wonder what the others are thinking about with kagome in the hospital and dying... will kagome pull through and get better or just die... is there a pairing in the end... will it be inuyasha/kagome pairing in the end... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2007 04:04 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
sad chapter... very sad and depressing... seems that kagome has reached her limit... and she went back home... at least her mom was there to find her... maybe it's best that she stay in the future for now... or maybe she needs to go to a doctor... definitely in the next chapter everyone will notice kagome's change now, right?... wonder what happens next... waiting for inuyasha to do something is hopeless i would think... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: December 03, 2007 22:28 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
so sad for kagome... in her condition she's about to just give up... emotionally & physically... no support whatsoever from anyone... and inuyasha isn't helping... with all those declarations to kikyo... seems that they take kagome for granted... wonder what happens when she really will be gone... everything is so depressing... when will it be kagome's turn to be happy... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: December 03, 2007 06:43 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
nice update... seems that kagome is slowly loosing it... wonder what it'll take kagome for inuyasha to be concerned about her... kinda surprised he hasn't spoken to her about it yet... he would usually be able to smell if something was wrong with kagome... wonder who will find her at the well... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: December 01, 2007 01:07 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
nice update... whatever is happening to kagome is getting quite confusing... now i'm not sure if whatever is going on with kagome is because of kagome... or someone else... things are just getting complicated... hope someone will help kagome soon... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Reviewed By: LadyCash [MediaMiner Member] On: November 30, 2007 06:54 CST
Comment/Review:
Hmmm, in the freezer, eh? Couldn't be our hanyou, could it? Of course, he hasn't been around lately, so maybe she is losing her mind. All the worries she has, it wouldn't be a surprise.
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: November 30, 2007 03:00 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
nice update... does no one notice kagome during these times... can't they sense that something might be wrong with kagome... really feel bad for her... so far no one seems to care enough to ask her what's wrong... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Title: wheeeeeeee
Reviewed By: deep v {DNAngel rox my soxs! XD} On: November 30, 2007 00:48 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey soph its stuff so i really enjoyed reading this! it was nice that u didnt make it hard for people not quite up- to -date on inuyasha to understand. [ahem...me] so anyway, nice charactor details and i saw some good similies/mets. n there. umm i kinda hope she deosnt go insane tho- that would be kinda depressing. maybe some more stuff about how she came to love him. also theres a bit of an issue with an over use of pronouns. make it more clear who the "she"'s are. cause soemtimes it was like-"wait, is 'she' kagome or kiyoko? AUGH!"so good work- keep it up! ily stuffins xoxo
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Title: ^_^
Reviewed By: Iceberg60 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 29, 2007 19:05 CST
Comment/Review:
I like it ^_^ And i can't say i'm the greatest writer in the world either ofcourse, but i like where the plot is headed, and I want to see what happens with Inu. That little voice though doesn't sound like Kagome at all though...it may be some inner voice, but a good sub-plot thingy like unistar says is that it could naraku trying to manipulate her-- just random ideas of course. ^_^ Anyways, keep up with the writing! Good job!!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: November 29, 2007 03:02 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
great update... kagome seems to be loosing it... she isn't being calm... she's too emotional right now... something needs to be done... will someone help her... maybe she needs to get away... with the way kagome is now... naraku will be able to control her easily... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: November 28, 2007 03:42 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
nice update... seems that kagome is still troubled... she's having nightmares now... she's to worked up on thinking about inuyasha & kikyo that's why... hope she'll be able to relax a bit... as for inuyasha still undecided of course... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: November 27, 2007 22:10 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
nice update... really sad for kagome... seems that she's so down right now... she needs something or someone to remedy her situation... maybe get her mind off of inuyasha & kikyo... hope that everything works out for kagome in the end... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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Reviewed By: unistar [MediaMiner Member] On: November 27, 2007 01:36 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
interesting story... hope kagome will be strong-willed in this one... seems like she'll need to be... wonder what happens next... update as soon as you can... please and thank you!
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| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
