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| "Purity 9: Subterfuge" Reviews/Comments [ 2359 ] | | Pages (158): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 › » ] | Title: Over too soon...
Reviewed By: Tueske [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2012 00:23 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Lemme tell you... you are the cruellest one with these cliff hangers!!!!! I check my email EVERYDAY, every couple of hours... just to see if you've updated!!! And now... THIS! You're a cruel, cruel mistress my dear Sueric. But love every single word of this fig and wouldn't change it for the world!!! Poor V!!! Her brain is so discombobulated that she hasn't bothered to ask how Evan knew she slept with Marvin! Wooooooweeee! | Reviewed By: Cricket42 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 10, 2012 22:47 PST
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I just want to say I hate you right now. I hate you for ending it like that. Just so not nice. | Reviewed By: sutlesarcasm [MediaMiner Member] On: December 10, 2012 22:43 PST
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OK, so I should have seen that one coming. Man, the reality checks keep on coming for V, don't they. Let Even calm down, and get Maddie over to talk to V. SOMEONE has to realize just how bad a shape V is in right now, hopefully sooner than later. No matter how she puts it, everyone is going to want to kill Marvin. He is an unobservant PIG. I tried to be sympathetic, abut I decided I CANT. Maybe we could sic Bugs on him...that would teach him to pay attention...Maybe...Maybe | Reviewed By: Dark Inu Fan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 10, 2012 22:37 PST
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And there's the conflict. She just wanted to run back into his understanding arms, where he would tell her everything is alright, but she hurt him more than anyone else. And on top of everything else, she still hasn't told Marvin that she's breaking it off. It was just too easy up to this point. I'd be surprised if Evan gives her a chance to say anything before they get heartsick and she relapses from her flu. Keep up the good work, dark | Reviewed By: OROsan0677 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 10, 2012 22:00 PST
Comment/Review:
Kinda expected Evan's reaction to the incident between V and Marvin, but it was still really sad to read. I hope that if he cools down enough he'll be able to listen to what had happened. Now did he smell Marvin on her because she hadn't taken a shower or because they didn't use anything? I really hope it's the former. On another note, since I have such log in trouble on my phone for the forums, I just wanted to say that you and your husband should no way feel like you two are failing in ANY way. Times are tough and you are doing EVERYTHING you can to make sure that your children come first, and is the only thing that is important right now. Even my parents have been having a hard time with stuff since Mom got sick, and we kids understand that they are doing all they can to stay afloat; just remember that we understand how hard it is for you right now, and if that means your focus is more set on providing for your family so be it. Us reviewers can wait as long as needed. Another note, if you need to vent on your site, that's fine too, you won't have to feel like you're adding more stress on your family (even if you're not) and hopefully it will leave some pressure off your mind and chest. Sorry if this has a bunch of grammatical errors, it is being typed from a phone. | Title: RAWR!
Reviewed By: chaos_kyes_fallen_angel [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2012 18:54 PST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh maaan!!! Another agonizing cliff-hanger. Eep! I can't believe that dirty insensitive Marvin, raping her while she is practically unconscious with a fever.. how clueless he is!! RAWR!!! Its so wrong that I actually got a bit sick and had to stop reading for a minute. And now she thinks its her fault! And if she thinks that, then maybe Evan will too.... Noooooo... !!! | Reviewed By: Dark Inu Fan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2012 12:42 PST
Comment/Review:
I was confused by the 'kinda lemon' warning, and then I over-analyzed and went 'oh, eww'... almost making me skip the chapter, but I'm glad I didn't. It just took some time 'by herself' to realize what needed to be done. And after a 'greeting' like that from Marvin, it just cemented what she already knew, but refused to let herself believe. The hard part won't be breaking up with Marvin, but to leave the safety of the bathroom to do so. Keep up the good work, Dark | Reviewed By: sutlesarcasm [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2012 12:04 PST
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I had this wonderful review written up when my lack of expertise with a lap top sent me to a couple of places I didn't want to go and erased it...Whaaaa. Talk about a wake up call for them both. Had marvin loved her truly, he wouldn't have proceeded without waking her up and finding if she felt better and felt like having sex. it is also a sad comment that her lack of participation is so standard that he didn't notice the difference. Remember...she doesn't like sex, doesn't really believe that women enjoy it, it is just a duty women perform for their men. At least until she met Even, she doesn't remember when they met in college and had a one night spectacular stand. In the time she and Marvin have spent apart, she has evolved a whole new, well, everything and Marvin has no clue, not that he would notice unless it hit him with a board. I feel sorry for them both. there is no good way out of this that I can see. I hope you have an ace up your sleeve Sueric, being blind isn't a good reason for feeling a lifetime of guilt. Hopefully you have ideas for the perfect wake up call...no, I didn't mean the one from the hotel...LOL | Reviewed By: xSerenityx020 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2012 19:05 PST
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He didn't even wake her up before having sex with her? Shouldn't be with a guy like that anyways. I was so excited to see this chapter! Now all shes gotta do is break it off with marvin and fly home into Evans arms :) Hope your doing well, see you next time | Reviewed By: oblivion-bringr [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2012 18:06 PST
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He had sex with her while she was asleep and previously had a headache? Ew I would tear that ass a new one. Little pig ! Next chapter please. | Reviewed By: Tashwampa [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2012 14:37 PST
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...So intense. Sueric, I'm simply moved by that. I just can't find any good words to describe how this chapter made me feel. | Reviewed By: OROsan0677 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2012 13:50 PST
Comment/Review:
Oh no, V is having that mate guilt :(. So did Marvin have sex with her even though she was asleep? That's creepy if he did. I hope she finally gets to tell him she doesn't want to marry him in the next chapter and goes back home to Evan. I hope your dad is doing well, Sue. You're still in my thoughts and prayers. | Title: Another Chapter!
Reviewed By: AtamaHitoride [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2012 12:27 PST
Comment/Review:
Ewww Marvin lol how out of it do you have to be to not realize the woman you are sleeping with isn't really awake or with it? lol No idea. Good for Val! Finally making sense of things! Evan is going to kill Marvin though... | Title: "What?" indeed.
Reviewed By: Ryguy5387 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2012 10:52 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
"Final Thought from Valerie: What … just happened …?" This is my final thought, as well. I re-read this chapter--twice--to make sure I didn't miss anything, and to be honest, I'm still fairly sure that I did. The first part of this chapter really hammers home Marvin's personality, and defines the sharp contrasts to Evan. From his lack of perceptiveness to his timidness, this chapter really nails home the ways that he's not Evan in a way that, at points, seems kind of to his credit. But where on Earth did the second half of this chapter come from? The line before the break--about going to bed with a wet head--seems (to me) to indicate that whatever comes next has to do with sickness, maybe? Fever, perhaps? Even if she were hallucinating, something seems off. I'm not sure I can buy the rapid return of those sickly symptoms so easily. Does Valerie have a history of sleepwalking that I"m not remembering? Her part in this doesn't make sense at all. [Granted, that seems to be the effect you're going for, but still.] Even Marvin's behavior -- at this point, without any more information -- seems completely random. He may be somewhat blind to her state of being sometimes, but he wouldn't know that she was nearly unconscious? Unresponsive? Is he drunk? Did she somehow seduce him in her delirium? Marvin cannot be the type of guy who would just take advantage of a person like that, even if it was his fiancé. The situation seems reprehensible, at the very least, and absurd at the worst -- or maybe that should be the other way around? While the decision to break at the end of this chapter works VERY well in terms of suspense, I'm not sure that it serves the characters, or the plot, to be stopped there. There are too many questions -- too many uncomfortable questions. I eagerly await the next chapter, and I'm sure I'll feel better about this chapter in context with the rest of the arc, but I find myself to be very uncomfortable right now. | Reviewed By: Titiana [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2012 10:24 PST
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Oh I'm so happy for the update! Though seriously, Marvin really out did himself this time, why would anyone have sex with somebody while the other person is still sleeping! Good Lord! Can't wait for more! | | Pages (158): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 › » ] |
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