| "Pack Law" Reviews/Comments [ 323 ] |
| Pages (22): [ « ‹ 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 › » ] |
Reviewed By: kodiaqkitten [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2008 16:53 EDT
Comment/Review:
Chapter2.. So full of lovely fluff! *giggles*! Love to write more but the next chapter is calling!
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Reviewed By: kodiaqkitten [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2008 16:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
Hmmm, Chapter 2... Beta? I wonder how this is going to go. What's the cause behind the unsettling feeling Kagome has? Off to find out!
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Reviewed By: kodiaqkitten [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2008 16:34 EDT
Comment/Review:
Looking good so far! Typical Inuyasha to bitch about the jewel first thing!
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2008 02:03 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
So more like Miroku's son, because he has not just "son" scent, but brushed on "father" scent as well??
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Reviewed By: Jinn Ryu On: May 21, 2008 21:51 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I wouldn't give a perfect score lightly; you're the best! Your story is so well written, and the plot is enticing, but what I love best is the introduction of instinct into the plot! I love "pack" and "pack laws," and anything else that has to do with InuYasha's inu side! I think that's the sweetest part. You're truely a girl after my own heart! Please, continue with our gratitude!
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Reviewed By: CatLover260 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2008 21:45 EDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Now it is sounding almost as if Kagome doesn't survive until the modern era with the mysterious stranger saying he thought he was done with her years ago. But I am more inclined towards Hitomi being Miroku and Sango's son. That would explain the scent and the likeness. So we have another bad guy that wants Kagome. He is probably surprised that she doesn't have a taint from being part youkai or whatever Inuyasha and Sesshomaru will have to do to extend her life. Or the taint of being mated to a demon. I am looking forward to what comes next.
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Reviewed By: pokiepal [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2008 20:17 EDT
Comment/Review:
great chapter! can't wait for a new chapter!!!
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Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2008 17:47 EDT
Comment/Review:
a new baddy and he's got the hots for kagome? an unmated kagome... sneaky yasha, kissing her to shut her up, what's keeping him from proposing? good chapter. . . you mentioned a beta... most recently i've been proofreading stories for 'ravyn' (rk, naruto fandoms), 'kodiaqkitten' (the iy story 'darkness fades to dawn') and 'animelover23' (the iy story 'tree messaging'). i have time to add another author but i don't read lemons. if you're interested my address is: ginduf[at]gmail.com and we can discuss any particulars. ~ thank you, ginny
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Reviewed By: PunchyMamma [MediaMiner Member] On: May 21, 2008 00:11 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Usually, I will not review unless a fic happens to be exceptionally well composed or craptastically bad. With that said, it is my opinion that you have a good "pen" I appreciate you staying in character, while allowing room for said characters to develop and have some depth. While the premise of the fic is far from original, you seem to try to follow the original tale and take it a step beyond. I am curious to see if you will apply any of the overly used plot devices, tweak the more popular, more reasonable ones, or come up with wholly original concepts as far as the "life extension" and "mating" are concerned. And I'm anxious about the OCs, as I've seen the introduction of too many too fast, or just those that authors don't bother to enrich, suck the preverbal life out of a decent piece of fiction. All in all, so far, this is a good fic with few spelling, grammar and continuity blemishes. Please continue to take your time to hash out a good story. Don't rush the lemon.
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Reviewed By: Ryo5492 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 21:57 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg your fanfic is so good! i love itXD cant wait for the next chapter=D do you upload a new ch every week? eeeek its so goodXD it would be funny if hiyomu was really miroku's son and miroku and the gang were still alive, except they were hiding form kagome trying not to change the futureXD lolXD oh is that really gooan happen? omg i really cant wait for the next chapterXP
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Reviewed By: CatLover260 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 07:53 EDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think that it is a descendant of Miroku and Sango that just looks like Miroku, maybe even his reincarnation. And almost calling Inuyasha Uncle and seeing a likeness in Kagome means one of three things; one, Kagome and Inuyasha lived through the years into the modern time; two, they are descendants that look like them; or three, Inuyasha was being mistaken for Sesshomaru and Kagome looks like someone else, either a descendant of herself or Rin (who looks a lot like Kagome). Can't wait to see if one of my guesses is right or not. And how the jewel ended up broken in modern Tokyo.
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 03:25 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
so I'll give you some bonus marks... considering I did read half this chapter at hell (aka school ('cause thats what it was like to day...)
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 03:24 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
woops for got to rate....
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Reviewed By: Sovereignty [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 03:23 EDT
Comment/Review:
or son.... or great-great-great-grandson..... would probably be the correct answer???
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Reviewed By: RavenShadow [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2008 02:09 EDT
Comment/Review:
This is really good so far, please keep it up. Can't wait for the next chapter.
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| Pages (22): [ « ‹ 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 › » ] |
