Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: August 17, 2008 11:45 CDT
Comment/Review:
one can picture the scenes and action although it is a bit choppy in changes of action it was very well written. your word usage and grammar is excellent. Ö you really need to consider making definite paragraphs with spaces between them. is it that you don't know when to make a new paragraph because it isn't hard and it would be such a vast improvement to an already good piece? ¶ remember to separate paragraphs!! ¶ ♥ ciao, ginny
|
