Title: Hmm
Reviewed By: CRose [MediaMiner Member] On: December 13, 2009 22:25 CST
Comment/Review:
There is quite a bit of potential in this chapter, but it needed more detail. You gave us the idea for the scene, but then you barely showed anything. Ranko did a guy, shampoo the same, then it was over. Work on describing what the girls are doing and feeling. They aren't dolls, they feel things too and if they're having fun, even better. its hard enough to get reviews at this site without forcing us to sign in first. Might want to change that.
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