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| "PITCH" Reviews/Comments [ 37 ] | | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 › » ] | Reviewed By: Passing Reader On: June 06, 2010 14:22 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Omig, that was great! XD I LOVE how that all panned out and I adore Ratio for all his cleverness! I've started watching House for the same reason lolz ;) I loved this chapter, elevater bondage and all and I can't wait to see more! :D I have to wonder though, if Abaire pushed the right buttons juse what else he could get Ratio to do tehee, Much love, Here's waiting for the next chapter! ~Passing Reader
| Reviewed By: Passing Reader On: May 09, 2010 22:50 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Is it really almost over? I find this shocking as I though this would continue for a while yet ^^; We got to hear the final verdict on L's experiment, I think we got a love confession...sorta lol, still got Abiar, I thought Misa would still be an issue but I'm guessing we gots rid of her...some where... Maybe I need to re-read this all in one go instead of weeks apart inbetween updates, cauz I think I might be forgetting somethings (like plot resolutions) if we're near the end (Not that I'm complaining, but I do hope to see more of these two sometime in the future.) Perhaps I'll read some of your other fandome works ^^; I havn't seen/read the others (manga, games,ect) is why :P Damn I dont want this to end! It makes me all distressed that this might be the last one D: Anxiety over fiction *snorts* God I've got it bad lol! Can't wait for chapter 8, I'm out! ~Passing Reader
| Title: It's raining!
Reviewed By: Passing Reader On: April 17, 2010 19:44 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
So Light is insane? Or really abnormal and wishes to hide it? Or is he becoming insane? (Let's face it, he's not all there in the series either lol) And here I was thinking that he was going to be completely normal besides being a politician or something :p I think this fic brings out my love (and sometimes hate) for both characters. L the socially awkward genius, but with strong ethics and a bit of a defiant streak. Light for being a rather twisted possessive person, who is very mysterious about himself and his motives (L *cough* XD) The way they interact with one another just makes my head spin! I hope you never fall out of love with these characters cause as I've said before, you've ruint me. For forever. Most of the time I can't even get 3 sentences in with thinking "That's stupid!!! Where's Selena?! D= " So when you stop writing about them, I'll have to quit reading about them lol Loved this chapter, I can't wait to see what Light will pull next, both with Aiber and L XD Till the! ~Passing Reader
| Title: I'm sooo happy...
Reviewed By: Passing Reader On: March 22, 2010 10:12 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was wondering why this was not updated last week ^^; I just didn't want to be a nuciance and mention it, instead I hooverd by the computer checking for an update everyday like the freak I am lol I adored this chapter, I think my main thought through the whole thing was something along the lines of: 'these guys may be geniuses, but their idiots when it comes to love' XD They both practically said it in both actions and words! It's always about who says it first lol Please forgive my poor grammer in this review (though it;s never really that great to begin with :p) I have to get ready for work or else I'd at least spell check it ^^; I can't wait to see what happends next; and on a side note, you've spoiled me when it comes to Deathnote fanfiction. I can't bring myself to read anyone elses! D': It's all very fustrating *laughs* I can't wait for the next chapter, please continue soon! ~Passing Reader
| Title: I mean everything I'm about to say, regardless of the language.
Reviewed By: karoleoke333 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 13, 2010 11:05 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Let me start with saying (in english) YOU are a wonderful, talented writer. I read ToM first, then aBfSF, now this. I tried contacting you via the email link of this site, but I don't know if you got it. If you did, I'd love a reply. Just saying, lol. You are wonderful at creating a myriad of 'sexually tense' situations (as well as others), and I think you could (and should) do is create a beautiful love making scene that doesn't stray too far out of character. In my honest opinion, it's what this story needs. The ones in ToM were amazing, (especially after the near rape/mutilation/ D'AWWWWPOORHAYNER). I was positively dying for one in aBfSF, but it never came; actually, to the contrary. This sounds VERY overdramatic, je sais, but after I read the rape scene...Let's just say that your writing is so powerful, it affected me in such a way that I couldn't eat for about a day and a half. It was moving, on an emotional level, and it made you think, (not you personally, but you as your audience). I think you could do something just as strong, if not stronger, with positive intentions, mais non? Alors, now that I've had a serious conversation, I'll fuck with your head a bit. ;) You've shown that you can translate a bit into french; I myself being fluent in english and almost completely so in french (almost typed grench XD) have given myself a MAJOR migraine constructing the following paragraph. Because I like being a pain in the ass and going out of my way to obtain information, rather than being upfront and asking "Parlez-vous le français?" WOOT WOOT PAIN IN THE ASS-ISM. 8D ENJOYYYYY.... J'espere que tu reçoive mon e-mail. Je t'ai trouvé l'ans derniére, et je veux te parler. Il semble qu tu sois l'auteur la plus merveilleuse du monde. Vraiment. Je mentis pas. Cet histoire et "Balm for Social Failure" sont les histoires plus interéssants du tout les autres que j'ai lu. Les personnages L et Light sont vraiment croyables, et j'ai trouvé que ses réactions sont trés bien conçu. Bien que je deteste le personnage Misa, elle est une rôle importante... D}8< J'ai seulement un problème; je veux qu'ils fassent l'amour. Oui, les raports sexuels sont trés érotique, mais les hommes doivent un peu d'attention et d'amour. En particulier L, je pense. Merdes alors; sa troisème? quatrième? 'aventure' à l'extérieur de son zone de confort, et il a donné un baiser à l'inconnu! Et le jour prochaine, ils se sont baisé! L est trés fragile (afin qu'il agisse fort), je pense, parce-qu'il essaye de se cacher, mais Light ne lui permet jamais. J'ai dit ca, en anglais, mais j'ai pensé qu'il a été important que je l'aie répété. Well...I'm done wasting your time. I eagerly await the next chapter (and maybe I also await to see if I will be graced with a response?) Je T'Embrasse , Karole (ou, Angélique, si tu veut. ;P)
| Title: I think I hatethem all...
Reviewed By: Passing Reader On: March 08, 2010 19:15 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm worried for L, and now I'm anxious!!! DX I don't want Abier (sp) to get his dirty paws on him nnpht! What is Ratio doing? Thinking? Gaahhh! D': Sorry about the lateness, been working more hours and double shifts so I havn't had as much reading time as I used to :/ I really look forward to the next chapter, even though I want to strangle just about every character other than L lol, can you tell who I favor? X3 Here's waiting for next time!!! ~Passing Reader
| Reviewed By: kat716 On: March 02, 2010 00:22 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this fic so much! I really enjoy L's step-by-step approach to expanding his horizons. However, even though I feel sorry for L, I love watching Raito fluster him so badly. I mean, L is about the last person in the world you would expect to end a conversation with the phrase "bite me". I cracked up at the part where he was trying to decide what to text Watari 'I'm going to engage in sexual activity that may or may not involve a bathtub'. I would have killed to see Watari's reaction if he'd chosen that one! Anyway, you rock! Give me more, please. N
| Title: The Spider and the Fly
Reviewed By: Passing Reader On: January 21, 2010 10:11 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
....Can Misa die in this fic too? lol I think my title makes a pretty good analogy, but this chapter felt more like a tango :3 I really do enjoy the battle of wills these two go through. Now that I think of it, I think Mr. Yagami and Watari would either get along real well or fight in a simular manner over their disprovel of their...'charges' relationship *laughs* I can't wait for the next chapter, here's Running away to make it to work on time! :p ~Passing Reader
| Title: Merry Christmas!!! XD
Reviewed By: Passing Reader On: December 24, 2009 12:21 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yaay you updated! I can see why this chapter would give you so much trouble, seeing as it's emotionally centerd and the characters are prone to dodging over emotional bouts. I still think you pulled it off brilliently as you seem to always do. I pronounce you the queen (or king as the case my be) of in charater-ness :p I adore Light's morning moods, I find them halariously funny (I can SEE him dreaming of dying in a marshmellow XD) It's christmas eve and its sleeting and due to snow, but on the bright side I diden't have to go to work so here's some good vibes for you *Insert rainbow* Please ingnore the spelling errors, gotta cook and clean for tommorow XD Hope you have a very merry Christmas! See you next time!!!! ~Passing Reader
| Reviewed By: Snowboredingal On: December 23, 2009 17:46 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG please keep writing! if your feeling unmotivated i should tell you that everyday when i get on the computer i check to see if you updated the story before i do anything else. its a really great story! Keep up the great work
| Title: This is darling
Reviewed By: Thelly27@gmail.com On: November 26, 2009 21:08 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I just want to say to you, that I think you have written one of the most engrossing fanfictions I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I started reading this fic the day before thanksgiving and I finished it the morning after. It was literally haunting me because it was just so juicy. I have to say that as a writer you capture L's prolific mind, his selfish pride, and his hidden insecurities very awesomely. The way you pitch it (lol..pun) to me, it is really cool to know that even though Lawliet is a genius he is not so high and mighty that he does not have flaws and unsurety just like everyone else does. I really like the internal dialogue he holds too. its so witty and to the point...just like L to the tee. And Light, let me just say that I need to give you a personal hug. So many people say that Light is shorter than L..when in all actuality he is not. I believe they have an inch height difference? I believe I read in the manga that basically was an outline of all the character's, their attributes, and what they meant to the overall plot of death note (its the hardcover book that came out after the last volume of death note), they even say that Light is taller than L. I WAS SO EUPHORIC AT THE MENTION OF THAT. its a minor detail yes, and it would seem fail to get all excited over it ...but im just sated as nerd to know that someone else besides me would state that. honestly i feel like too many people forget tht T_T (for the life of me i don't know why?) And Light was just ....he was EPIC. he was shrewd, seductive, haughty...just a plethora of sensual genius. not to mention a tad on the 'Ike Turner' side....LOL. I really hope he doesn't try to abuse L in the future but hey...who am I to tell you how to write your own story? and its not like I won't read it anymore if he does LOL. The way you described him, and just his whole demeanor reminds of that regal, yet arrogant visage held by the Light we all know. its just so in character I loved it!!! (brownies for you) Not hating on you at all but.....even in AU that bitch misa is still annoying and clingy. she just needs to die....end of story. i just can't stand her. AT ALL. But what I want to tell you the most is...or rather ask is that you please ...maybe possibly......on a really good day when you want to... Write an L x Aiber. The tension in this fic is just awesome, but in this story i think it could kind of be seen as awkward and "oh hell no he didn't" by other fans (because of the main pairing of Light and L). but...to me....I had never even imagined that Aiber would possibly have an inkling of a candle for L. but I started thinking on it and wow.... If its you and you only..I would definately like to read that. I just really really would like to read that^^. That is..IF YOU EVEN SHIP THEM? sorry I never even bothered to ask before begging. T_T lol. To make a long ass review short..this is pure win. I'm very interested in what will happen next. And just wtf is going on with Light and His dad. so many mysteries to uncover..but im sure you will reveal them in time. Excellent job. I'm seduced..and im not even L. ~Thelly~
| Title: This is darling
Reviewed By: Thelly27@gmail.com On: November 26, 2009 21:08 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I just want to say to you, that I think you have written one of the most engrossing fanfictions I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I started reading this fic the day before thanksgiving and I finished it the morning after. It was literally haunting me because it was just so juicy. I have to say that as a writer you capture L's prolific mind, his selfish pride, and his hidden insecurities very awesomely. The way you pitch it (lol..pun) to me, it is really cool to know that even though Lawliet is a genius he is not so high and mighty that he does not have flaws and unsurety just like everyone else does. I really like the internal dialogue he holds too. its so witty and to the point...just like L to the tee. And Light, let me just say that I need to give you a personal hug. So many people say that Light is shorter than L..when in all actuality he is not. I believe they have an inch height difference? I believe I read in the manga that basically was an outline of all the character's, their attributes, and what they meant to the overall plot of death note (its the hardcover book that came out after the last volume of death note), they even say that Light is taller than L. I WAS SO EUPHORIC AT THE MENTION OF THAT. its a minor detail yes, and it would seem fail to get all excited over it ...but im just sated as nerd to know that someone else besides me would state that. honestly i feel like too many people forget tht T_T (for the life of me i don't know why?) And Light was just ....he was EPIC. he was shrewd, seductive, haughty...just a plethora of sensual genius. not to mention a tad on the 'Ike Turner' side....LOL. I really hope he doesn't try to abuse L in the future but hey...who am I to tell you how to write your own story? and its not like I won't read it anymore if he does LOL. The way you described him, and just his whole demeanor reminds of that regal, yet arrogant visage held by the Light we all know. its just so in character I loved it!!! (brownies for you) Not hating on you at all but.....even in AU that bitch misa is still annoying and clingy. she just needs to die....end of story. i just can't stand her. AT ALL. But what I want to tell you the most is...or rather ask is that you please ...maybe possibly......on a really good day when you want to... Write an L x Aiber. The tension in this fic is just awesome, but in this story i think it could kind of be seen as awkward and "oh hell no he didn't" by other fans (because of the main pairing of Light and L). but...to me....I had never even imagined that Aiber would possibly have an inkling of a candle for L. but I started thinking on it and wow.... If its you and you only..I would definately like to read that. I just really really would like to read that^^. That is..IF YOU EVEN SHIP THEM? sorry I never even bothered to ask before begging. T_T lol. To make a long ass review short..this is pure win. I'm very interested in what will happen next. And just wtf is going on with Light and His dad. so many mysteries to uncover..but im sure you will reveal them in time. Excellent job. I'm seduced..and im not even L. ~Thelly~
| Title: Passing Reader
Reviewed By: XxHydexX [MediaMiner Member] On: November 16, 2009 22:33 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Its always when Im about to cave and bombard you with reviews that you update lol! This was a beautiful chapter, I saw none of it coming...well, maybe the Abire tidbit (scary), but still I loved it! *sqwee* I'm so proud of L, he's finally getting some where, if albet drunkenly ^^; It still stands that I hate Misa and may have come to resent Light a bit for being such a "Sex God" and causing our poor detective to go off killing his lovely brain cells with alcohol. I hate politics. Here's waiting for the next chapter, thank you so much for posting even though you've had a hectic week! I really was beginging to have withdraws :p ~Passing Reader
| Reviewed By: VegoSacomoto [MediaMiner Member] On: October 20, 2009 22:01 EDT
Comment/Review:
Raito and L like each other alot its kinda funny. i still dont know the plot though.
| Title: I Still HATE Misa -__-
Reviewed By: Passing Reader On: October 17, 2009 13:58 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Congrats on moving =D Now you get to go to war with the boxes D: I have got to wonder, does this story affect your thinking in everyday life? I've noticed that when writing one of my essays for college I sit there and think 'What would L do this paper about?' I laugh at myself after, like I could write an L like paper ^___^; I got to wonder if anyone has those "How would Light manipulate this person?" moments. Not sure if I'd want to meet them, it might be lethal... If Light ends up having to sleep with Misa though I might vomit. I consider the boy clever enough to somehow wiggle out of it, but being conerd really sucks :/ Especially when it's just after the not so subtle threat of /I'll kill any man who likes you or whom steals your interest.../ Poor, poor, antisocial L lol Though this does make me crave a more hostige like L, perhaps there can be a stalker Light and kidnapped L fiction floating about. If not it neeeeds to be made (I only read your DeathNote fiction and possibly one other so I dunno ^^;) I can't wait to see what happens next! Does Aiber really like L, and if so the man has a funny way of showing it haha! Till then! ~Passing Reader
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