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| "Imprint" Reviews/Comments [ 9 ] | Title: Just sharing
Reviewed By: Jolis [MediaMiner Member] On: December 20, 2010 21:37 EST
Comment/Review:
I felt the impulsive need to share this with you and anyone who has not subjected themself to the amusement and amazement of both the internet, and for that matter, the youtube XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZWaWrvJ7nA Rinse and repeat :) | Title: Whee
Reviewed By: Jolis [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2010 19:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
Ok, few things in order. First: thank you for saving me. I thought I was going to go insane being stuck with my family this long. Second: "'That is unnecessary. I am perfectly willing to utilize the chair.'" Cracks me up XD Somehow, utilizing a chair is very, very funny, but it might be because Spock said it. As for Uhura, I guess maybe this depends on what basis of her character you're going after. While she's very much the go-getter in the 2009 movie, I have no doubt the character is played up for the sake of romance because it's not very likely Spock would have jumped into that romance as a Vulcan, and still pleased the audiences (and let's face it, movies feel the need to have SOME kind of romance all the time x.x; ). Based on ST:TOS, Uhura, while still fairly independent, isn't as fiery, although this could also be due to the time period more so than just her character. I haven't the chance to read any of the books yet, so I couldn't give you any kind of character analysis here. I think, all things considered too, if you referenced Uhura as more of a TOS, she wouldn't necessarily come running, although I do think she'd make an excellent mother figure :) (then again, so would Chapel). From what I know/can find about Spock's full name, we have the TOS novel version which is what you've used, or we could go with the TOS "You couldn't pronounce it anyway" XD A side note: I didn't want to keep spamming you with reviews, but after I read and commented on your last chapter, it slowly dawned on me, that oxidized copper is green, therefore unoxidized copper is... copper colored XD I assume you came to this conclusion faster than I did XD
| Title: =]
Reviewed By: nanrz [MediaMiner Member] On: August 09, 2010 22:09 EDT
Comment/Review:
I am really looking forward to the next part, so of course it ended in a cliffhanger! =]
| Title: Me again......
Reviewed By: Jolis [MediaMiner Member] On: August 06, 2010 01:12 EDT
Comment/Review:
Maybe this would work better as an email, but isn't it nicer to get reviews? :) So, I'm not sure if you've done any research or not, and if you have, what websites you've used, BUT I did find this quote that I fully expect you abuse and take advantage of in later chapters, "A lot of the waste heat conducted by blood cells is transferred into the lungs during respiration, thus making the exhaled breath of Vulcans fairly hot under most conditions, especially during exertion." That aside.... Another note about eyes: Vulcans see better at night.... Ummm Another unique reference: "A Vulcan can survive for hours under water or in a non-breathable atmosphere due to his unique blood cells." Looks like Kirk didn't have to worry that much, even for a half Vulcan. Thinking about the blood again... Humans turn blue due to cold/lack of oxygen/bad circulation because of the retraction of blood vessels. Are blood vessels are blue. Blood, when not oxygenated is a deep burgendy color; when it's highly oxygenized, it's almost an orange (found as soon as it's pumped out of the heart from the lungs, so around the carotid artery is where it's most orange-ish). If we were to use this same concept on Vulcans, I can assume the middle ground color of their blood is green; highly oxygenized would be a very bright green, and less oxygenized, a much darker green, perhaps even brownish. So that really leaves it up to the color of the blood vessels, if we're talking about cold. I don't think a blue, or even a yellow would be unreasonable. I was also looking up information about reactions with copper (since Vulcan blood is copper based), but for anything very specific, you might want to look into it. Yeah so.... I hope this helps, I guess?
| Title: So I'll bite .. again XD
Reviewed By: Jolis [MediaMiner Member] On: August 06, 2010 00:54 EDT
Comment/Review:
I suppose I would comment just to comment on your comments, lol. I did wonder about that when you said Spock's lips were purple. I'm not entirely sure, but if I had to guess I would say go with the rainbow. Think of bruises: when you first get them, they're a reddish color, then purple, blue, green, and finally yellow as they heal. I suppose I can see if I find anything about Vulcan physiology, (aside from TOS references) that the closest color would either be blue or yellow. I don't think purple would be too far off though. I'll let you know if I find anything.
| Reviewed By: nanrz [MediaMiner Member] On: July 26, 2010 23:04 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
So far I'm loving it. The interaction between the characters is engaging and the plot is promising. A lot of (necessary) running, although I must have missed the hair braiding part (haha, just kidding). Looking forward to further updates!
| Reviewed By: Jolis [MediaMiner Member] On: July 25, 2010 14:47 EDT
Comment/Review:
I was rereading through chapter 1, especially because my first reading I was very distracted. Rereading it, I couldn't help but notice: "The air was thinner, but not enough to need a tri-ox compound. Though, he wouldn't want to run any marathons." While I realize this is a matter of opinion and preference, these characters have also been running more or less for two chapters. I don't find it much of a breach of continuity, but I do wonder if there are/will be any repercussions. (Also, I'll try not to flood your story with reviews from the same person... This is Koji, btw)
| Title: Content Review Pt1
Reviewed By: Koji_Nokemono On: July 20, 2010 13:40 EDT
Comment/Review:
I'v already offered my amusement towards coquetry (or maybe I'm imagining it as thus?). Favorite part number 1: 'Kirk found the ground to be unforgiving when he landed with a fully grown Vulcan on top of him.' O rly? Yes, for a moment I looked away to cherish that image and giggle. 'Kirk did not appear fragile, but under his hands, the man could break.' Oh he will.... if you're doing it right. XD I would like to ask because I am not familiar with any of the Star Trek book or novels, if time is relevent? I only thought of it when Spock gave his age. I assume it's measured the same way we would normally measure time, but when dealing with celestial bodies or other universes, I always wonder how much we as humans from Earth apply concepts to foreign planets. While I am on the subject nearest, I wonder aboutt he mechanics of Spock's bonds; if he is younger and smaller, I assume his hands would be freer of his bonds, or else easier to escape? If this is addressed later, I apologize. Being an education major, I can presume you may be familiar with Jean Piaget (maybe or maybe not). The last stage in development occurs around 12 years of age when critical thinking abilities develop. I would assume given the education of Vulcan's and their superiority to logic and intelligence, that, while Spock may not be professionally trained in Starfleet, on a human level he would be perfectly capable and even adopting of situations which require more analysis and critical evaluation. Another question is, the percentages and statistics that you offer, I wonder if you have a mathematical basis for them or if it's justa reasonable number you procured. I doubt it matters, but it would be interesting to know. Now for the offer on a beta reader/editor. I am interested and I would like to know what sort of expecations you have/requirements and if there are any benefits. (I wouldn't expect any, but I thought I might ask anyway) ^^; Please email me at EmbarChicken@aol.com and we and we can discuss this further if you would like. :)
| Title: Here's as good a place as any....
Reviewed By: Koji_Nokemono On: July 20, 2010 12:40 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I thought I would share my thoughts here, thoughts that actually pertain to the writing itself and not so much the content, as later reviews will be. I must commend you on your writing capabilities (again). Your writing is very enjoyable, intelligent, thought out, and most importantly both descriptive without being overly elaborate, as well as complex without sounding like gibberish. Your writing also shows the level of incorporation an immersion with the subjects you write about--you come of as being very knowledgeable about the matter, whether or not you actually are. (I like to believe good writers know what they're writing about). Still a grammer mistake or two, but it's definitely not prevalent or too noticeable. (I know you edit when you can). Contextually based on content, the art of coquetry is always endlessly amusing to me. I must admit that while I am a fan of Star Trek (albeit not an insanely avid fan), I was a bit reluctant to read merely because a Star Trek fanfic isn't something I would normally read. However, I knew that you were the one writing it and I knew it would be good, so for the sake of at least reviewing for you, I decided to read on. I may have aked at some point before, and if you don't mind responding, I do have a couple of questions. Primarily, how do you deal with character and plot development? Do you have any planning processes or techniques for developing a story? How do you make sure you keep each character in character, especially if it's a character you're not familiar with?
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