Reviewed By: Stone Feather On: February 11, 2004 15:04 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well, I nitpick, which is why I've given it the ratings I did. Your grammar and spelling are passable, and I was certainly delighted to find that. So many people don't care about grammar or spelling these days... But it wasn't very creative, because I've seen this sort of fic all over the net. "My friend/partner/lover/whatever dies, and I don't want to live without them, so I'm going to kill myself, too." But, I don't hold that against you. I've done it myself, in my more "my boyfriend just broke up with me; let me die now" moments I've had lately. It was very predictable, and a bit hard to read. You should add more description, and at least add quotation (") marks when Kenji screamed "Hans!" Otherwise, it just doesn't have the right... "ring." I like Kenji questioning his sexuality, although there wasn't really a hint of it in the anime itself. You should have added something about Kenji loving Hans (since that is what your fic is about), but Hans being in love with Satomi. That would give it alot more angst, with him questioning whether or not death for himself is the best thing, because the person he was in love with loved someone else.
|
