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| "I'm a freak" Reviews/Comments [ 36 ] | | Pages (3): [ « < 1 2 3 ] | Reviewed By: moonsaiyanprincess [MediaMiner Member] On: September 11, 2002 19:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
This fic is awesomeness! Please update soon. :) | Reviewed By: Lonely Angel [MediaMiner Member] On: September 11, 2002 17:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
OMG this is so good! I love it! You did a excellent job for the first 2 chapters and I can't to see what happens next! | Reviewed By: Heikgan [MediaMiner Member] On: September 11, 2002 15:22 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great fic i love it please udate soon PWEASE!!! ^_^
Ja'Ne | Reviewed By: BlueMinx On: September 11, 2002 14:09 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Comment/Review:
Great idea, but the scenes could use some sprucing up and the grammar and spelling needs alot of help. Things moved a little too quickly and some of the descriptions were a little rushed. These small first two chapters could have been stretched out into three long chapters. I admire your spunk and creativity, but you really need to pick a method of narration and a point of view to present it from. I'd suggest reading some fanfics by moonsaiyainprincess, Evil Orange Crayon, Android18, Nova, Tsuki-chan, and Shin Dragon--just to name a few.
These are excellent writers and most all of their stories include a wide variety of writing methods that you might want to pick their brains over. I'm not trying to be insulting or anything, because I really like your idea and I beleive you might have some real potential. I just think you could use some help in fine-tuning your story and describing some of the great ideas you have and turning this into a fantastic story.
Anyone can have killer ideas, but a great story is all about the presentation of those ideas to the readers and how well you can get them to see what your seeing in your mind, in theirs.
I hope you take this as constructive critism, because that is my intent. Usually with stories written this um, poorly I would usually just pass them over without a single remark....unless of course I see the potential of a possible writer with a great story just struggling to get out.
I wish you the best of luck, and hope that you can show me, along with everyone else just what you have envisioned in this story. When you do that, I'll be the first to recommend your story to everyone I know and back you all the way. | Reviewed By: anonymous On: September 18, 2002 16:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
Lol, it's about time Bulma got a backbone. It's not too bad so far, but you might want to fix your grammar. Sometimes you can loose the feeling of the story if you have to pause to figure out a word. :-/ | Reviewed By: Angel Wings [MediaMiner Member] On: October 09, 2002 09:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well, you could add some more detail, but it's a good plot | | Pages (3): [ « < 1 2 3 ] |
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