Reviewed By: b_nitid@yahoo.com On: October 01, 2002 01:55 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Comment/Review:
Interesting story and a challenging premise. It'll be hard to show their relationship realistically working with factors like Duo falling down the black hole of drugs further, or, even climbing out of addiction. Your story shows a lot of promise, but you need to work on your grammar and spelling. Please at least spell Duo's name right. Not 'Dou'. Also, you should stay in the past tense when writing...present tense is harder to do and when you keep switching back and forth, it's distracting. I notice the formatting here isn't as nice as on Fanfiction.net...another thing to consider - you might want to put blank lines between paragraphs to make it easier to read. Other than a lot of technical problems, I think your story is worth bookmarking. I look forward to seeing more of your writing. |
