| "Who Says We're Too Young To Love" Reviews/Comments [ 29 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « < 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: AngelKali On: September 25, 2001 00:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
make them kick Rae's ass...please! i really want her hurt. >=D |
Reviewed By: littlemoonhime On: September 25, 2001 19:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
good story so far, I really like it ;) |
Reviewed By: J-9 On: September 28, 2001 19:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Keep writing these stories cause they so good I aint gonna stop reading its really good but please try not to make me wait too long !!! |
Reviewed By: anonymous On: September 30, 2001 12:00 CDT
Comment/Review:
For all those who think this is a good story, you have a lot to learn about how much the presentation matters moreso then the plot. This could be the best story in the world, but since the author hasn't learned yet the correct way to write in English prose, there's no reason to rate this story very high in the first place.
As a couple other commenters have said, for proper writing you must start a new paragraph every time someone different speaks. Those huge blocks of writing come across as single paragraphs, which makes reading what's happening tiresome and tedious. The school schedule was distracting; you should merely decribe who was doing what in each class and junk all the author notes. Most people have come to read a story, not listen to you, the author, gab about something or demand that you get more letters or you won't write more.
Clean up your prose and I'll like your story better. |
Reviewed By: J-9 On: September 30, 2001 18:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
Aw why do you always stop it at a good part its not fair. I like the new parts please make the rest Im dieing in my seat well I'll keep writing
until i read the rest and give you my thoughts!!
:} |
Reviewed By: J-9 On: October 02, 2001 16:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
Aww you didnt make any more yet well please do |
Reviewed By: J-9 On: October 08, 2001 10:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey its me and i hope you can put more stories in
During October 10th cause thats my Birthday and i was hoping to read alot more stories by then |
Reviewed By: LindaN On: October 13, 2001 13:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like your story! Good job on creating the a/u for your characters. I kept trying to figure out what they all looked must have looked like. (^_^) Would you do me a favor and watch for a pic of a teenaged Vegeta and if you find one, post it in the fanart section cuz I'd love to see that you had in mind for him. Thank you for writing this story for us, Princess Panchii. Linda |
Reviewed By: Darke Angelus On: October 20, 2001 21:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm not at the end of the story yet but I have to leave a comment after reading the exchange between Veg and his mother. "Not say good-bye- carried you for nine painful months..." I'd swear you're making him out to be a good, little Jewish boy! Too great!!! LMFAO!! |
Reviewed By: Veggie Trunks On: October 30, 2001 17:21 CST
Comment/Review:
This is a great story! I've been reading it off of fanfiction.net, but since it's been down, I come on here often. I'll be watching out for that next chapter!
You know your fanfic was one of the first fanfics I ever read when I first started reading them, fics like yours got me hooked. |
Reviewed By: KangaKilla On: November 01, 2001 01:47 CST
Comment/Review:
keep writing, i love it, i seriously hope that Bulma kills that Rae girl, and i hope that Vegeta kills yumcha, oh baby or maybe bulma kills both yumcha and rae, that would be cool, hell baby veg's a sexy momma |
Reviewed By: hey hye On: November 03, 2001 06:34 CST
Comment/Review:
that was a great chapter and i will deffinately read the rest but... vegita is a little bit to freindly with goku sorry had to be said but its great keep it up:) |
Reviewed By: hey hey On: November 03, 2001 08:29 CST
Comment/Review:
BULMAS HAIR IS BLUE-GREEN GODDAMIT |
Reviewed By: anonymous On: November 03, 2001 08:43 CST
Comment/Review:
BULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREEN BULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREEN BULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GRE BULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREENEN BULMAS HAIR IS BLUU B
ULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREENEY GREENBULMAS HAIR IS BBULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREENLUUEY GREENBULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREENBULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREENBULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREENBULMAS HAIR IS BLUUEY GREEN |
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