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| "Strong as Super Saiyan 2" Reviews/Comments [ 19 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] | Title: Shut up
Reviewed By: Shut up On: March 17, 2004 19:43 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Haha. Yeah, this story was pretty enjoyably gay. Haha. This is a great story actually, but it did suck. Yes, I am. What to write...let's take up some space, shall we? I'm gonna sing a really good song for you here..just a second, gotta clear my throat...ok 1...2...3...and.. opps forgot the song. HAHA. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Hey Brittany! Silenoz
| Reviewed By: Shella-lady On: December 03, 2003 20:52 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Um, I hate to shatter your delusions, but I think you might have let how much you like all those bands get away with you. I'm not flaming, honestly, but the writing generally went pretty much down in quality over the last two chapters. Point in case: I think even if I didn't like the band I'd dislike the way you killed off Good Charlotte & abused them. Very, very transparent attempt to get across your own point of view. It would have been like that whether you'd cameo'd Chester Bennington & that group of 'maggots' or put the words in Trunks, Gohan or Yamcha's mouths. Really not so good. Besides, excuse me for a moment while I go off on a rant, but who are you to use 'faggot' & 'gay' as derogative terms? You're writing about homosexual peodophilia for Chissake! *shakes head* Anyhoo, I'll get back to the real review now. I still think the whole Saiyans-as-Goths, in particular Vegeta-prince-of-all-Goths is pretty cool. It just suits. I also like the bit about how & why Yamcha didn't introduce Vegeta to Corey ... although the explanations of Trunks & Gohan being aliens & maturing early a) were a bit rushed & b) his acceptance of them is a bit rushed. Even your earlier comment about Goths generally being open-minded couldn't really cover that. I think that's probably one of those things you keep tripping over. It turns up in your writing a lot, to be honest (along with things you've borrowed from my fics, but since I've abandoned them, who really cares) -- when people are told something strange & new, you go through the bit where they get used to the idea too quickly. & with too much dialogue. I think you should work on that. Hang on a sec -- OMG, I actually have something positive to say! *gasps in shock* I mentioned before that it really showed how much you like these bands, well, in a couple of spots at least it came through in a really cool way. Like the James Hetfield impersonations. ^___^ Funny stuff! :D More of that would be cool. Cheers, --Shella
| Reviewed By: Midnight Lilly [MediaMiner Member] On: October 18, 2003 02:31 EDT
Comment/Review:
I can see Veggie liking heavy Metal he'd suit the look
| Title: Smazmoashman!!
Reviewed By: WA On: October 16, 2003 15:51 EDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
Smarta hassa!!! It is me, Shalashaska!! Actually Jason, it's I, Spencer. Just wanted to say Hey. Um...yeah...I killed trunks and gohan. Sorry. They were humping on the fron lawn..what did you expect me to do? I don't want lolita man-porn on my lawn. Later dude. I'm not as dumb as you think I is!! Spencer Also known as, Shalashaska!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Twist a 4-5 cap to get WAAAAAA tight, slap the WAAAAAAA on the wheels to feel WAAAAA! and find the WAAAAAA the flow freak the WAAAAA like you're in heat, wrap the WAAAA, strike the WAAAA now your in WAAAA!! We've gotta get to DURP, gotta get with the WAAA plan. Defeat the WAAAA that dealt this hand and I don't WAAAAA why kids are killing DURP when the only ones with benefits are the big WAAAAA! Mankind, unkind theres always a fine line. We've all gotta WAA but this time its numbnuts. Hindbutt, blind poop I hate it when I shmoop. He destroys the world while we sleep at night. Twist the 4-5 WAAAA and understand if it was up to me I'D KILL CHARLES MANSON!!!!!! Hindbutt, blindpoop, I hate it when I shmoop. He destroys the world while we sleep at WAAAA!!! Thank You!!!! SA+KO
| Title: My dumb computer
Reviewed By: SonKikyo, Metallica's Mistress On: September 03, 2003 15:26 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oy, I read this fic a long time ago but my stupid computer wouldn't let me review it cuase it's dumb shit. Anyway, I love this one so much. For what it means this is definatly your couple though you probably like B/V's more. Don't we all just love em? You should update, I want to see what goes on at Black Sabbath's concert. And if possible, can Metallica be there too? That's just my all time favorite band in history, you know, I'm wearing a shirt with their name on it. I really am. Though you probably don't care. It's just a suggestion though. And here's another one. Can there be a breif refrence to the not so unfortunate laying off or possibly killing of Good Charlotte. I hate them, them just to be highly, and I do say HIGHLY blunt.
Oh yeah, thank for reviewing Phantom, you're great. And.... I'll shut up now.
~Kung fu fighting hamster of doom~ | Reviewed By: Yaoimaster On: April 29, 2003 18:25 EDT
Comment/Review:
I like the first chapter. Check out my fics at ff.net.
Hey GPV can you email me @ smartguy489@hotmail.com | Reviewed By: Shella-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 18, 2003 06:05 EST
Comment/Review:
I think you're a lot nicer to Yamcha in your stories than I am! You reduce him to comic relief, but I make him evil (in 2 out of 3 yaoi fics where I've featured him).
"...he was open-minded about same-sex relationships. Even though it was mostly lesbianism."
“That kid does have a little six-pack on him, doesn't he?”
LMAO! Too good man! ^_____^ *grinning ear-to-ear* Placement, timing, phrasing, origin & punctuation -- 10/10 for those two excerpts right there. Classic stuff! *still chuckling*
&, of course, we can't forget "little Kurilin-chan". Ahhh ... *wipes eyes* An excellent place to put a comic relief chapter, pulled off with style, skill & flair. WTG GPV!
The only problem I've been able to see since I started reading this again was 17's threat to Krillin. I think it would have been more effective to focus less on swearing & more on describing not only how he intimidated Krillin (maybe by staring him down, eye-to-eye, or growling his words or something) but also Krillin's reactions (like shaking head to foot & sweating nervously).
Apart from that tiny little point, it's thumbs up all the way. More of the same please!
Cheers,
--Shella-chan
ps: You know what I realised, re-reading my own reviews? Long reviews are entertaining. Much more interesting than 'good. write more soon'. Wouldn't you agree? | Reviewed By: Shella-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 18, 2003 05:48 EST
Comment/Review:
"Also, I've a feeling my female readers are really gonna like this chapter."
Most definitely! VxB happens to be my favourite canon couple (if you don't count Mirai Trunks / Mirai Gohan -- don't let anyone ever tell you they weren't in love!!) so no, I don't think it's too much of a good thing. ^__^
Bulma is such a hentai! Watching those two getting each other off, I mean honestly, who'd do such a thing? *looks innocent*
BUT I gotta admit it was more surprising that she actually came right out (ack -- innuendo!) & asked them to do stuff for her, not to mention the fact that they both readily agreed. Again, OOC Gohan isn't a bad thing in this situation. ^_^
Where was I? Oh yes, the shower scene. *purrrrrrz* The closest thing I've read to yuri in far too long. There's not enough yuri around! *looks annoyed, hands on her hips* Should be more! I need to go find one of those sites that says 'love is love -- yaoi, yuri, het, whatever' & see if they've got links to Dragonball (or Neon Genesis) yuri.
ALSO, I'd like to share a pet peeve, in that there are nowhere near enough bisexual guys around. I know possibly half-a-dozen bi girls (self included) but no guys. Unfair! *sulks* So yeah, a bisexual Vegeta (not to mention possible impending GxVxB) is A Good Thing. Thanks! ^__^
Cheers,
--Shella-chan | Reviewed By: Shella-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 18, 2003 05:39 EST
Comment/Review:
As if I could NOT leave a review for that lemon! Y'know, for something supposed to be citrus, that was almost impossibly sweet. Special notes: "And the heat, it was lovely, it was unbearable and brilliant at the same time." Perfect description-in-a-nutshell right there! If you've read many of my reviews you may notice that I have a penchant for pointing out tiny little touches that just make a fic, & that was one of them. Luverly! *purrrrrrrz*
On the whole (yes, I watched 'Goldmember' the other day -- completely the wrong thing to have in my head right now) I can see soooooo much improvement in here from some of your earlier lemons. Those were good, but this ... this is a craft. It gives me the impression you spent hours in one sitting, just going over it again & again to make it perfect. Brilliant stuff.
Cheers,
--Shella-chan | Reviewed By: Shella-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 18, 2003 05:28 EST
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Comment/Review:
YOU BLOODY COPYCAT!!!
"Gokou is dead, and he still affects your decision about me and Gohan being together! If that's the case, then you must be the weakest person in the whole damn universe!” Thief!! Thief!!! LINE-STEALING THIEF!!!
Ok, you realise I'm only kidding. ^_____^ I'm sure somebody else thought of that angle before I did, & I'm flattered you like my fics enough to borrow methods of Vegeta-persuasion from me. I just had to point that out cos I almost facefaulted when I read it.
Don't worry, I am going to leave you a lovely long review ... for the last chapter. For now, I'll just hope that somewhere in one of the parts I haven't read yet you reproduced the lyrics to 'Chop Suey' cos that sounds really, really interesting for some reason.
Cheers,
--Shella-chan | Reviewed By: Roshy [MediaMiner Member] On: January 07, 2003 15:25 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your fic is good ^^ and I liked the lemon! -luv Roshy- | Reviewed By: Shella-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2002 21:49 EST
Comment/Review:
Gothic warrior? How cool! You seem to be getting better at writing lime, this one was pretty damn good. Admittedly, it did kind of interrupt the flow of it (no hentai insinuations intended) to be switching POVs so quickly, but the descriptions were v. well detailed & the romance of the scene wasn't lost. I can forgive OOCness (hell, who am I to talk about it?) when the quality is this good.
Cheers,
--Shella-chan | Reviewed By: Shella-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2002 21:41 EST
Comment/Review:
Wheeee! Shounen-ai! *huggles GPV* Damn, you're reading me like a book! ^__^ Ok, into a real review now.
Lessee ... on the one hand, we have the language. Maybe it's just me being a bit of a prude but I've always been of the opinion that four-letter-words & that level of ... *ahem* ... subtlety ... seem to bring it down a little. If you don't have a clue WTF I'm on about, never mind.
On the other hand, we have Metallica references, in particular 'Nothing Else Matters', in particular the fact that I used that song for one of my songfics! Coincidence or not? Cos you said you'd read all of my fics. Ahwell, whatever the reason, your taste in music rocks!
On the other hand, we have Mirai's speech about the androids & the rather uneven quality of it. I think you may have been better off breaking up the monologue to include descriptions of his emotions as he got angry, rather than depending on Mirai's words to convey his anger. Not of course that it wasn't an entirely accurate picture!
& on the plus side, we have the kiss! Now this was probably the highlight. I don't know how the hell you managed it, but everything about that one little scene just seemed so perfect considering the situation (i.e. Mirai pissed off, both of them in Super Saiyan). *applauds* WTG! Kick-ass stuff right there!
Cheers,
--Shella-chan | Reviewed By: Shella-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2002 21:22 EST
Comment/Review:
>
WELL WHO DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING A MILE AWAY???
^____^ Sooooooo cute! Gohan's adorable. I think you may need more practice with writing backgrounds as in this chapter the development of Gohan's feelings seemed kind of rushed, but I'm sure you can do it.
Ahhh, how I love Truhan! Can't get enough of it. You know about the site I archive my fics at right? http://perso.wanadoo.fr/gohanxtrunks. HUGE Truhan archive right there. If you're not on the mailing list you should join, it'd be a great way to see lots of Truhan stuff & polish up your writing. Plus I post stuff on the ML sometimes before I post it on ff.net or here, maybe other people do too. So if you're not already part of it, join!
Cheers,
--Shella-chan | Reviewed By: Shella-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2002 21:12 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hi! Thought I'd read some more of your Truhan, & was v. well rewarded by this *hentai smirk* You don't mess around, do you? Straight to the point. ^__^ Ah well, rushing a bit is not such a bad thing in this case! You managed to combine sweetness & sexiness in Trunks' dream, plus I like the bit about shounen-ai being 'the highest form of love' on Vejiitasei'. Sweet touch. & of course, we all know about ChiChi's temper!
Good stuff, here's to the next chapter! *toasts Gothic Prince Vejita*
Cheers,
--Shella-chan | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
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