| "Surprise! She's a WHAT?!" Reviews/Comments [ 18 ] |
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] |
Reviewed By: ice queen16 On: March 27, 2004 21:56 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i totally love it write more really soon!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: Little Rin On: September 22, 2003 02:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hi. Finish the story!
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Reviewed By: Little Rin On: September 22, 2003 01:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
Gohan sweetie why don't go calm her down before she blows a casket The word is Gasket. It's a part of a machine. Hence the phrase. Blowing a casket will get you nothing but charred body parts of long dead people and a few splinters.
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Reviewed By: Demetz [MediaMiner Member] On: September 20, 2003 13:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
I could beta for you if you'd like. Just send the chapters needing it here:
demetz4386@earthlink.net |
Reviewed By: Hell God of Fury [MediaMiner Member] On: August 01, 2003 09:35 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story keep up the good work the author has a great deal of talent and potential. I cant wait until the revision is done. |
Reviewed By: videl On: July 14, 2003 11:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
thanx for telling about the updating stuff
i love your story so dont change it to much
you have good talent you gust need to have better menal graphic imiges in it (like if you read it you need ot picture it in your head) thats al i think it needs and a little Spelling & Grammar adjustments. |
Reviewed By: Demetz On: July 11, 2003 01:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for letting us know that you'll be touching up the other parts. Its a real downer to be waiting for a story for a long time and having no idea whats taking so long. Anyway, thanks. |
Reviewed By: Ðäñtè [MediaMiner Member] On: June 29, 2003 17:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
the lemon was so confusing,you kept saying'she slammed into him' and 'he needed to feel him inside him so bad'stuff,you need practice.it wasnt that the story wasnt good,but your char was a bit of a mary sue..im sorry if this sounds unfair but well..im being honest,it was an O.Kstory to read,but got boring so i skipped alot of chapters now and again..no offence,but you need a beta reader too,to check your grammer and spelling..sorry about this..anyway,if you keep on getting better youl be a realy good writer!byebye for now!i hope this doesent upset you in any way. |
Reviewed By: Jako On: June 22, 2003 22:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Just completed Chapter 25 and might I saw, that was one of the best lemons I have EVER read! The only funny part was that you subsituted 'penis' as 'member'! I love it! That's hilarious! The entire fic is just SOOO great! Keep it up and cant wait for Chapter 26!!!!! |
Reviewed By: PyroSayian On: June 22, 2003 12:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was one of the best fanfictions I ever read. I like to read the whole thing normaly before I review but, I have haven't been so entertained in a while but, this really got me. I couldn't put it down(I couldn't pick up my computer anyway but you know what I mean). Also what the athordid with the disclaimer was funny too. Any way I just can't wait for the next chaper to come out and this story is on my top 5 list. This author has great talent and potential. |
Reviewed By: Demetz On: June 22, 2003 10:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your grammar was a bit... off, through much of the story, and I don't much care for second hand perceptions (you used he/she felt/saw/heard etc to explain what was going on throughout a lot of the fic, although gramatically correct it gets annoying). You also omitted quite a few words that would have made it a bit easier to read, and rambled on about the setting (Vegeta is in the blah doing blah, bulma in the blah doing blah, goku in the blah doing blah) as if it were a play at time, this makes it a bit boring and I found myself skipping through some of it. It is still a good story, and with a bit of editing it would be a great story.
You could get someone else to edit it for you, but then you wouldn't know what they changed unless you went back and read through the whole thing again, in which case you might as well have done the editing yourself. I don't mean to sound condescending, I'd just like to see the story perfected. As I said, this is a great story, it just needs a few touchups. |
Reviewed By: Evil Saint On: June 14, 2003 13:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story! I love the original twist! Keep up the good work ^_~ |
Reviewed By: videl On: June 12, 2003 21:13 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
please write more and hurry!!!!!! |
Reviewed By: Side On: June 07, 2003 15:07 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hmm... Very good... I like it! |
Reviewed By: Lady_Saiyan On: June 06, 2003 16:50 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good, somthing more should happen between gohon and kat but it's cool keep it up |
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