| "Accidental Redemption" Reviews/Comments [ 67 ] |
| Pages (5): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 › » ] |
Reviewed By: zskduh On: August 26, 2004 22:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update update please update
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Reviewed By: The Oujis Mate [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2004 14:46 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was a seriousely evil cliffy!!! Please huryy with the next chappy; I don't know how long I can stnad it until I find out what happens to her!
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Title: "Accidental Redemption
Reviewed By: vbkjsdhbfvsjkhk On: July 30, 2004 00:26 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a great fic! You have a way to bring out the true personality in all of your characters. I can't wait to see what happens when Cooler comes-please update soon-it's so much fun reading these stories especially when written by such a gifted writer. Thanks again for a great story!
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Title: Caralin Fury
Reviewed By: Caralin Fury [MediaMiner Member] On: July 18, 2004 14:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
Vegeta in lust...my favorite part of every good B/V story...and this is very, very good! Great job with Bulma's reaction to her break-up with Yamcha. The stinging depression hit some various emotional scars from my own past. I like how Bulma mourns her failed relationship...very realistic. A lot of stories have Yamcha/Bulma breaking up and her bedding Vegeta in the same day. (Yes I know this does happen in real life...I too have been guilty of rebounding), but I like this fresh and very human take on my favorite anime! Caralin BTW...loved the secretary's reaction to Vegeta. I would have been drooling too!
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Title: Chapter 10 *swoons*
Reviewed By: debbiechan [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2004 12:33 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
YEY! That was a delicious B/V chappie! I'm so delighted to have found you--new, talented B/V writers make my day. I'm hopeful that you will be spinning tales for me and others for a long while as the older fungurls taper out of the obsession! I am impressed, as always, with your gift for narrative, the whole world you've created, the lingering on details like Bulma's messy room (I too always thought she was exacting in her lab--messy in her personal life!) No, you didn't bash Yamcha--he cheated, Bulma's pissed, so there. You didn't make him an abusive drunk or anything! And see around the DBZ Fanfic Salon, Proph! ;-) debbiechan
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Reviewed By: sue p On: June 25, 2004 16:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a great fic! You have a way to bring out the true personality in all of your characters. I can't wait to see what happens when Cooler comes-please update soon-it's so much fun reading these stories especially when written by such a gifted writer. Thanks again for a great story!
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Title: why I read fanfiction...
Reviewed By: debbiechan [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2004 10:46 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yep, this one's got it all! I started this one a while back, lost it, and have just read nine chapters in one sitting. You take well-worn threads and weave them into something new! There's a reverence for not only the anime here but for the whole mythology of older fics, and your narrative voice is mature, welcoming, sensitive to nuances in characters. Can't help you with plot as requested (I suck at plot) but I can suggest that maybe you use your gift for poetry, the whole lingering on a scene and telling about it with your smart omniscent voice, a little more sparingly. The story moves better when you show rather than tell, maybe three sentences on an image work better than six. You've got talent to spare! Please put me on your update list, debbiechan shalombayit@juno.com ps I think it's a real mark of talent to make an OC compelling, somehow natural to the dbz world you've set up, and not a distraction--you do that!
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Reviewed By: MysticRose [MediaMiner Member] On: May 24, 2004 15:27 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Excellent work! I love the plot and how you show the characters' thoughts. Please update soon. I've really enjoyed reading this one.
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Reviewed By: The Oujis Mate [MediaMiner Member] On: April 29, 2004 17:42 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was outstanding!!! I wish it would've been longer. I want more, now!! LOl!! Really it was wonderful, though. Yamcha was extremely cruel, but now we get to move on from him to the much more important Vegeta. I loved the way you portrayed his thoughts; it was perfect. I can never capture that! Anyway, I can't wait for your next update! Please hurry!!
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Reviewed By: kainee On: April 18, 2004 00:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like the creativity of this AU. To have poor Vegeta suffer from multiple ruts without knowing why. I think this fic is very sensual, which works very well for it ^_~ I think your characterization is also very good, not trite at all. I mean even though having Nappa be insane, Radditz be intelligent and nice while Yamcha is a cheating bastard are not new characterizations. But you handle it in a believable way. I think your OC is also very nicely written. LOL, but I have to admit, given my favorite concept that I feel fanfic authors don't explore enough (which is Trunks and/or Goten accidentally goign back in time to wreak havoc on poor Vegeta) that I would like to see Vegeta's reaction to that AU of this AU. But it is probably a tangent. Please update soon-- I really enjoy your fic a lot! I love VBs! B/C they equal Trunks! And he's soooo goddamn cute as a little kid! ^_^
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Reviewed By: kainee On: April 18, 2004 00:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like the creativity of this AU. To have poor Vegeta suffer from multiple ruts without knowing why. I think this fic is very sensual, which works very well for it ^_~ I think your characterization is also very good, not trite at all. I mean even though having Nappa be insane, Radditz be intelligent and nice while Yamcha is a cheating bastard are not new characterizations. But you handle it in a believable way. I think your OC is also very nicely written. LOL, but I have to admit, given my favorite concept that I feel fanfic authors don't explore enough (which is Trunks and/or Goten accidentally goign back in time to wreak havoc on poor Vegeta) that I would like to see Vegeta's reaction to that AU of this AU. But it is probably a tangent. Please update soon-- I really enjoy your fic a lot! I love VBs! B/C they equal Trunks! And he's soooo goddamn cute as a little kid! ^_^
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Reviewed By: GetaGirl 247 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2004 13:33 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love your style of writing. It is soooo refreshing to see an author use feelings and emotions as well as you do. I can literally feel the pain or joy that the character goes through. Too many stories lack this, making them mediocre. I like the agnst with Bulma and Yamcha, I actually feel bad for both of them. I also like the thought of Vegeta being more than just a horny fighter. You gave him a brain and feelings for others, besides Bulma. Keep up the goog work, and finish this story no matter how long it takes. (Too many good stories end up unfinsihed...so sad)
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Reviewed By: spini On: March 11, 2004 10:31 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
hey love it
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Reviewed By: The Oujis Mate [MediaMiner Member] On: March 08, 2004 17:58 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG! That was an amazing chapter! Where do you pull all of these wonderful details from? And the way you describe everyone's character is terrific! I can't wait for the next chapter; please hurry!!!
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Reviewed By: kainee On: March 02, 2004 08:20 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoy this series. Please update soon as I can't wait for the next installment. I think the plot is moving along very well. There is a lot of backstory and your habits as a writer are very good-- you don't tell us that Vegeta is frustrated, you show it. It's really simple to say that all the time to show not tell but a lot of writers still do it... The only thing frustrating me about the plot is the V/B thing but that's only because I'm impatient. I think it's a good reaction though since you have me hooked on the romantic development between them. Although one thing: I don't know how you're handling how a bond is initiated but I didn't know Bulma was emotionally reciprocating Vegeta's feelings in order to be able to participate in those dreams... or is just a physical attraction enough? Also, Yamcha's sudden onslaught of neuroticism was a bit abrupt at first until I realized by reading much farther into the conversation when he and Bulma fight it out that he was reacting to Bulma's kissing Vegeta on the cheek. The fight did seem a bit out of character for Yamcha though since in the anime it gave me the sense that even though he resented the V/B romance, he still didn't do much to stop it. But it still works for your story. On the VB front, perhaps moving their relationship up a little mini-level-- pleeeeeeeease! Great job! Keep on writing! ^_^
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