Reviewed By: Rthi On: June 12, 2003 19:11 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
OK, I know I'm being a little harsh, but you don't know me, soooo.... ehee.... I'm supposed to give you constructive criticism, right? you've got some really good ideas, and they show up in a few of your well-crafted sentences, but the spelling and grammar can impair your readers more than you think. Try using spell-check ^.^ My friend wrote a story sorta like this one so far, and I've spent a lot of time helping her. Maybe someday I'll put my own fanfic up. But yes, back to the story... ummm... like the way you have some forshadowing and "secret smiles." You are also very strong on dialogue. Don't be afraid to be more descriptive, it adds to the overall effect of the story. I can't wait until the next chapter comes out!!!! ^.^ |
