| "Smoke and Wind" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: the taxzombie [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2003 17:30 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I told I would rate it later. Here goes.
A Good Happosai?? Now that is a change of pace.
Happosai actually considering others and trying to help them?
Scary.
I can't help but wonder if the micro pervert hasn't got some kind of bizarre twist in the works.
I am definately looking forward to his meeting with Ranma where he explains why he punted him to Jade.
While I have yet to have read just what set Nabiki off on her 'bring me Ranma's head on a platter' routine, I do like the fact that you are giving Nabiki a chance to redeem herself.
Although I don't her being the one to put the knife in the golem. I suspect that will be Ranma's job. You might use that to finally get Nabiki to giveup her have baked bloodfuel with Ranma.
As for the lost boy. Lost cause. I've never liked Ryoga. From the first panel where he used his curse to be with Akane I came to loath him. So won't shed any tears if pigboy bites the big one in your story.
The reconciliation between Tanya and Julia has been handled pretty well. I don't see where Julia would be willing to immediately kiss and makeup with someone who tried to harm her family.
I think you've handled those scenes fairly well.
Golem Peebo's are a good touch. They're what got the 9's. I look forward to 'seeing' them in action.
The 8's are because it still feels a little stiff at times and there are still a few spelling errors. That and I always want more detail.
It appears you've just about have the stage set for the battle royale. Will the former kids from the D&D cartoon be making an appearance too, or were they merely used as filler? I looking forward to finding out.
All in all I found the latest chapter interesting and I am looking forward to see where you take this.
Well, that should be enough yammering for now. Till next chapter.
Good luck. |
Reviewed By: Jon Cook On: July 20, 2003 20:56 CDT
Comment/Review:
Please keep those chapters coming. I can't get enough of this fic. |
Reviewed By: the taxzombie [MediaMiner Member] On: July 10, 2003 17:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You might be wondering about that 7 up there. Here's the reasoning behind it.
While for the most part I've enjoyed what I've read to date I've found one thing annoying and one character pulling, at least in my opinion, an extremly OOC act.
Let's look at annoying first. It boils down to this. It feels to me like you've been teasing me the reader with just how Ranma and Tanya came to be married. (I'll have to ask you to pardon me if I missed something but I didn't reread all the material you've posted to date prior to writing this review.) I do not recall any kind of real explanation on how they came to be together. Nor do I recall how Ranma got over his cat problem. Considering Tanya's species that leads to some unanswered questions.
You've been teasing me as a reader for going on 8 chapters (counting the prolouge) and frankly as a reader it's starting to annoy me a touch. I want some details! It's an itch I just can't reach to scratch. Please do a little fill in, eh?
As to the OOC. Nabiki. You've got her pulling a Ryoga here and that just flat does not wash. She is not as stupid as pigboy. I just can't see her going on a headhunting expedition staring Ranma based on what little information you've supplied to date. Akane's alive and based on how she was protrayed as feeling so is the rest of the family.
If Nabiki should be after anyone's head I would think it would be Happosai for sending Ranma away.
So to me she is totally OOC and I can't buy that.
You've either got to add more details (yes, again with the details) or jazz it up to explain why Nabiki want's Ranma dead.
Even with what I see has two faults with your storyline I still like it. Yep, warts and all I did enjoy reading it overall I was would have to say I very happy with it. It was well worth my time.
I hope that it continues to be worthy of reading in the future. That is entirely up to you.
Good luck. I look forward to your next installment. |
Reviewed By: Mike Serpent On: July 08, 2003 21:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
That's so evil! I thought chapter 7 going include the fight between Ranma and G'Nolga =(. I guess I could wait a little longer for the action. =). |
Reviewed By: dogbertcarroll On: July 08, 2003 20:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yep. That answered all my questions. |
Reviewed By: dogbertcarroll On: July 08, 2003 19:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
Great story but I want to know how Nabiki just happened to end up in Jade. Not to mention when
she became such close friends with Ryoga and why
she would help destroy Ranma. Lots of questions! |
Reviewed By: SilverDragon On: June 24, 2003 19:26 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I don't usually care about the spelling part of grammer so much as fluid wording. And congradulations on an original coupling. Of course there are not too many GD/R1-2 fics out there yet, but still it is a good pairing. Out of the GD/R1-2 fics I've read, this is darn near the best so far. It just depends on where C. Roses Golden Opportunity is headed. |
Reviewed By: Mike Serpent On: June 15, 2003 20:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
The story is nice. I would like to see more of Ranma and Tanya interaction than blah blah blah. I was a little sad when chapter 2 had little of Ranma and Tanya but I guess it's kewl. |
Reviewed By: Sonic On: June 15, 2003 05:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
That's ok... ;-)
I think you should do a little bit work on the start though. Jumping into the story with the lemon is a little bit awkward in my opinion. On the other hand, that's the way it is on the addventure, too. *shrug*
Oh well... the first review was done because there was no mentioning of the addventure and the other authors on the thread, so I thought I point that out.. much better now ;-)) |
Reviewed By: Nanya [MediaMiner Member] On: June 14, 2003 15:46 CDT
Comment/Review:
Heh, a heck of a fight huh? I know, I know, normally Julia and the other Weaponsmasters don't call out thier attacks, but it makes it easier to know what they're doing. ^_^
Oh and Sonic, I'm not Secret 01, I'm the guy who wrote more on this fanfic than anyone save Thyrthlind. |
Reviewed By: John Surber On: June 13, 2003 17:50 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've seen this thread on the Anime Addventure, it's one of many I've often thought would make good stand alone fics, so it's good to see one written out formally as a fic. I look forward to seeing more as it's updated. |
Reviewed By: the taxzombie [MediaMiner Member] On: June 13, 2003 16:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm going to hold off rating this for now. While I did enjoy what I read and writing style, spelling and grammar were for the most part fine I don't feel that there was really enough of the storyline presented to properly comment on it.
Most of chapter was taken up with the bedroom scene. Of the remainder a good portion of that was devoted to teasers to tweat ones curiousity.
At which they did an excellent job. Even without the final sentence there was more then enouh material there to have me watching for updates.
Once you've got some 'meat and bones' on this thing, then I rate it. For now just stick to saying I liked what I read. |
Reviewed By: Sonic On: June 13, 2003 13:59 CDT
Comment/Review:
http://addventure.bast-enterprises.de/40474.html
That's the same start. I'm not sure, if you are Secret01, who wrote it on the addventure, but that looks awfully familiar. |
Reviewed By: Rance On: June 13, 2003 13:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
New couple, new frontier.
Go forth and expand!
^_^ |
Reviewed By: Mar [MediaMiner Member] On: June 13, 2003 12:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love these Ranma/other girl stories^_^ I can't wait to see what happens next and how will the Nerima Wrecking Crew would feel about all this.
Keep it up,
Mari |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
