Title: Wow!
Reviewed By: AmyAnderson45 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 15, 2003 18:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow, you shocked me. That's was very good, actually it was great. It was moving, touching, and inspirational all at once. The only little thing you need to fix is "My heart told me I love him" try "My heart had told me that I loved him" Or you could say "My heart told me... that I loved him" Also, this one needs adjusting, "I did not told him until the death of Sin" say "I did not tell him until the death of Sin" or somthing like that. Test and read out these lines out for yourself and see how it makes your poem flow. By the way, your poem was very creative though. |
