| "I am The Brother Of The Winged Knight" Reviews/Comments [ 41 ] |
| Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 › » ] |
Title: Mesa Juu-Chan
Reviewed By: Mesa Juu-Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 13, 2005 13:08 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well I must say that this story has potential; but, it is severely lacking in grammar and style. This could use alot more description; as your writing is fairly vague, and your grammar definitely needs improving. You have an interesting concept here, you just need to build on it more. This does not seem like you have edited it at all! Since there was a lack of description, writing style and grammar skills I could not get past the first chapter. It was highly disappointing. Especially when it seems like the story could be so much more! If by any chance you need a beta-reader just email me.
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Reviewed By: FennFeatherDragon [MediaMiner Member] On: March 03, 2005 16:55 CST
Comment/Review:
Nice of course baku would pass out. Why did you have to turn Zero evil!? Anyway keep going pleeeeeeeaaassssseee
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Reviewed By: Fluer On: February 15, 2005 21:29 CST
Comment/Review:
HOly s*** Zero turned evil! Cool suming thing. How long did it take to think up the rhyme. Well whatever. Please update soon this cliffhanger is killing me!
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Reviewed By: May-VeggieGirl1 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 15, 2005 15:24 CST
Comment/Review:
lol DUDE this is like RR! x.x.x.x.x gah. lol, aww, can there be a little BZ... *puppy dog eyes* this would be a great time for it ya' know. Still, nicely done, there are some new creative points that haven't been done yet (i think... gimme a minute, I'll find one x.x) oh, I liked the summoning it had cool rhymes. :p update!
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Reviewed By: FennFeatherDragon [MediaMiner Member] On: February 14, 2005 15:48 CST
Comment/Review:
Nice fight scene. But what is up with the dark ball of energy? Update soon
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Reviewed By: May-VeggieGirl1 (doesn't feel like signing in) On: February 10, 2005 19:15 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yayz Lor! And you did the whole fight scene by yourself!! ^__^ Hooray! *gives Lor cookies* Good job, even though it was longer because of the song. =^^= Still, keep up the good work! Hey, the dark ball is kinda like what Kiba did to Zero in my fic... O.o; man, there are too many relations...
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Reviewed By: May-VeggieGirl1 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2005 17:51 CST
Comment/Review:
How could she torture Zero like that? Easy!! ^.^ Ohh, could you perhaps hurry up with your updates? ^^;;;
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Reviewed By: Fluer On: February 07, 2005 18:21 CST
Comment/Review:
WAIT! NO! EVIL PERSON! What happens to Zeron!How can you torure Zero like that. Poor Zero I hope his bro becomes good in the end.
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Reviewed By: DragoneyesBC [MediaMiner Member] On: January 22, 2005 19:25 CST
Comment/Review:
You made a pic of Zeron?? Sweet who cares what color eyes you made him with I wanna see this!
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Reviewed By: Fenn Feather Dragon On: January 22, 2005 18:11 CST
Comment/Review:
Zero having a little bro. I always thought he would be an only chid. oh well. Please put the next chapter up soon.
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Reviewed By: RW On: January 22, 2005 16:58 CST
Comment/Review:
lolol, DUDE what's with older brothers and protecting the younger brothers! x.x meep! wow, you updated ALOT. O.o; Freakish... aww, but it really does look like there was something going down between B and Z... *pouts* Zeron has red eyes? Somehow I missed this and put up fanart of Zeron with greener eyes than Zero... x.x oh well.
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Reviewed By: May-VeggieGirl1 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 05, 2005 09:29 CST
Comment/Review:
hooray for ungrounding! anyway, ack!! wow, this IS a lot like my Taishi's Betrayal and Yami's Hate, Love, and Flaming roses....O.o;; Except it's more like mine cuz Kiba's controlling Taishi, not Kukumon being an imposter...9.9;; still yayness! update again soon pls!
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Reviewed By: DragoneyesBC [MediaMiner Member] On: December 24, 2004 09:15 CST
Comment/Review:
oops in that chapter there is a isn't that should be an is. ^^; Sorry people!
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Reviewed By: DragoneyesBC [MediaMiner Member] On: October 13, 2004 15:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
hehe yay. The sentences were FAR better than I could ever have made them so.........yeah I think I'm going to need help every fight I make in this story lol. I saved the notes and stuff but still.........^~
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Reviewed By: RW [MediaMiner Member] On: October 13, 2004 15:20 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Milk, cookies, and riceballs? interesting combonation...yay me! when I was iming the sentences to you, I was worried how they would turn out. I still think I didn't use enough pronouns, but that's just me. ^.^ mmm...reese...^^;;;;;;; heh, well, glad to be of service! How else do you think I would rate the chapter?? ;p ttyl
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