| "Dangerous Adventures" Reviews/Comments [ 41 ] |
| Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] |
Title: wow....
Reviewed By: InuYashasLoveLorn (nsi am i ever?) On: April 02, 2005 21:18 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
it's ok about the long update i'm used to it people take so long hey even i had a whole 3-4 months before posting anything on my fic well kepe up the good work and update again when you can! ^____^
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Reviewed By: mageofthebooksOlivia [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2005 16:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
I'm really enjoying this! Lots and lots of potential! I do hope you update soon though I know the creative process takes time so don't rush if it delutes the stories quality. Thanx so much for writing! ^___^
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Reviewed By: inu fan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 11, 2005 17:57 CST
Comment/Review:
OHHHH!!!! UPDATE SOON PLEASE!!!!!
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Title: wow
Reviewed By: InuYashasLoveLorn [MediaMiner Member] On: February 25, 2005 15:33 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow update again soon i really wanna find out what's gonna happen please?
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Reviewed By: w_j [MediaMiner Member] On: January 22, 2005 19:21 CST
Comment/Review:
I am glad to see an update and I hope to see another one soon. I can't wait to see what happens next. Thanks!
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Title: This looks interesting...
Reviewed By: mageofthebookolivia On: October 27, 2004 02:08 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I hope you continue soon, I'm interested. This has a interesting premise, which I think will be very interesting. *ads to favs* I'll be hoping for updates. ^___^
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Reviewed By: smittin kittin(nlo) On: October 26, 2004 23:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like this & totally think u should continue! i'm interested in seeing how the plot will develop! thanks 4 sharing smooches kittin!
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Reviewed By: w_j [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2004 21:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like this story so far. I think RedHerring has good comments for you though. You have excellent writing skills and are doing well without a beta. I hope you continue with this story. Thanks!
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Reviewed By: RedHerring [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2004 16:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
I had more, but ran out of space. Here it is -------> What about sweeping the porch and reading about how she got the broom, then walked to the porch. Or would you want to read about a dog that ruined all her hard work when he chased a chicken across her clean steps?
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Reviewed By: RedHerring [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2004 16:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
I think it is very good that you are descriptive. However, sometimes the way you describe the sequence of veeeery small events can take away from the story. I think it would be better if you had some thoughts or memories in between actions -- such as the few paragraphs where Kagome made the soup. It would let us know about Kagome's history, maybe introduce us to some memories. ////////// The only kind of story where you gradually feed the reader information is 'en medias res" or 'start in the middle.' Which means to start in the middle, or after, a major even in a story. Your story does not start in the middle of anything, and so must give us some information before you get the gears turning. Scenes such as Kaogme readying herself for dinner, going about common motions, and vaguely describing things that are only worth mentioning in passing are, more often than not, used for giving information. Which is what your story needs more of. You might want to try a little variation in how you give the sequence of her actions. Instead of 'she did this... she did this... she did that... she did that and then this.' try 'She did this... then that... forgot the other, then went back... returned and did this.' Maybe Kagome cut her finger. Think about what makes a good story, and write it. Would you want to read about someone making soup, unless there weas some kind of mishap, or poison secretely slipped in?
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Reviewed By: Zonza [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2004 14:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good writting skills, I really love what you've got going on here and already you got me intrested to see how things progress... eagerly awaiting your next update ~Zonza
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| Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] |
