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| "Legendary Quest: The Watcher" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: FFARG
Reviewed By: Shinashi [MediaMiner Member] On: April 08, 2006 17:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like how the story is written; it truly has a natural flow and catches the mysteriousness that you're hoping to achieve. Unfortunately, there are some very serious flaws. Firstly, it is greatly needed to start a new paragraph when changing from a speaker's dialogue to another's. There's also some capitalizing mistakes and a high overusage of commas that may make it unenjoyable to some readers. Lastly, in order to not bore a reader, it may be wise not to use names over and over. I mean try pronouns. My best advice is to get a beta that specializes in punctuation and story organization, first. Another thing I find fitting to point out is that you really capture the character's characterization well and I mean WELL. Sorry it has taken so long to receive a reply from FFARG but please submit more in the future. P.S. Watch out.. Those HTML tags are tricky. :D
| Reviewed By: Chaos Owl [MediaMiner Member] On: November 12, 2004 18:21 CST
Comment/Review:
Oh my..Mew!I have one in my Crystal version! Nice! ^_^
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