| "The Phoenix" Reviews/Comments [ 20 ] |
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Reviewed By: debbiechan [MediaMiner Member] On: June 04, 2005 22:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
Getting good and angsty now. The writing is tight, and I'm interested. I hope you can find more time to work on this story in the summer; Bulma as the neglected child is some concept. It makes me wonder about her neediness vis a vis men and what she had to offer to Vegeta (leaping waaaaaay ahead here of course! ^^ I'm so stuck on the B/V romance). I want to see how she breaks through the loneliness and defines herself.
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Reviewed By: majin sue [MediaMiner Member] On: May 27, 2005 21:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
Just found this . so far very creative . i'll be chcking up for updates. hurry!!
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Title: Chapter three.
Reviewed By: Veglma [MediaMiner Member] On: April 09, 2005 19:00 CDT
Comment/Review:
...Funny... Did I not post any thing in my last review? Oh well... Hm... it will be interesting to see if Vegeta shall show up... if at all.
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Reviewed By: Love of Vegeta-not signed in On: April 07, 2005 12:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another great chapter! Keep the good stuff coming ^_~
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Title: Chapter 3
Reviewed By: Veglma [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2005 19:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
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Reviewed By: Lady Pesh [MediaMiner Member] On: March 27, 2005 10:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Interesting. Your mechanics are excellent. No technical errors caught my eye when I was reading. I haven't made up my mind about the story and characterizations yet. It's still too early for me to tell. Is Theadora really supposed to be the Mrs. Briefs from the series? If she and Ben were so stuck on Bra, why did they bother having another child? Surely they didn't PLAN on emotionally neglecting Bulma. There's more happening in these characters than has been revealed, so I'm saving my critiques on the story itself for a few more chapters. All in all though, excellent work. Keep digging and revealing the Briefs' personalities and secrets, and I'm sure you'll weave an enthralling tale.
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Reviewed By: Bulma16 (havent' signed in yet) On: March 26, 2005 22:58 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Nice job miaka-chan! I think my favorite line so far is this one: "Normally she would have scrambled to fix herself, to hide the ugly creature inside, but today she wanted to rest. She would reassemble the mask tomorrow". Your fic has a lot of emotion in it so far, and I like that in a story. And I also like how you're taking the time to develop the characters instead of just jumping into the B/V stuff. It's hard as a reader *not* to sympathize with Bulma. *grins* Nicely done miaka ~Claire
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Reviewed By: dbzfanjess On: March 19, 2005 22:12 CST
Comment/Review:
great chapter... I loved the twist of bulma's father being in love with someone else... that was great...
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Title: You go girl
Reviewed By: Phantomscribe72-Carla On: March 19, 2005 16:42 CST
Comment/Review:
VCery, very, very, very nice. Bulma is not my favorite character, but I forgot that while I was reading this fic. That's not an easy thing to accomplish, so you should be proud. Nicely done!
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Reviewed By: Love Of Vegeta [MediaMiner Member] On: March 19, 2005 13:53 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yeay, you updated! I am really begining to enjoy this fic, and I like how you've used this chapter to potray the relationship between mr and mrs Briefs, I now feel sorry for Theadora! I hope the next chapter is as good as this and the others were!
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Reviewed By: Love Of Vegeta [MediaMiner Member] On: March 12, 2005 07:29 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This fic is great. Your style and the attitudes you've given the characters are perfect. I was wondering if this fic would end up as a BV? Anyway, I really do hope you'll continue with this, I feel so sorry for Bulma feeling she has to live up to her parents' expectations and out match her sister. I think the lyrisc (evanescence?) at the end of chapter two fitted in well. Update soon.
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Reviewed By: dbzfanjess On: March 11, 2005 12:58 CST
Comment/Review:
awesome update great chapter... I like this story its a nice little deep examination of bulma -Jess
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Reviewed By: debbiechan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 11, 2005 07:00 CST
Comment/Review:
ah yes! A new chapter! *sniff* Sad. The descriptions here are very good. I look forward to more.
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Reviewed By: DBZ-FAN-JESS [MediaMiner Member] On: March 05, 2005 15:16 CST
Comment/Review:
dumb thing I had to sign in to post it... now that looks extremely weird... oy vey
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Reviewed By: dbz-fan-jess *not signed in* [MediaMiner Member] On: March 05, 2005 15:15 CST
Comment/Review:
v. nice... I am glad your posting it and cannot wait for you to post more... I am not signed in... no surprise... but I am going to add you to my favs list..
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