| "Always A First Time" Reviews/Comments [ 259 ] |
| Pages (18): [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] |
Reviewed By: green integration [MediaMiner Member] On: September 10, 2012 21:44 EDT
Comment/Review:
“It’s ok, Mr. Tortoni. She said no, but I tell you what. Send the violinist over anyway.” Send the violinist anyway damn how amazing was that line, I absolutely love how you portray yamcha and Bulma's relationship here usually his the cheating scumbag and only a few people write him in a light where he was just in love with a woman that was never meant to be his! It was so bittersweet I almost cried! I love this story!! |
Reviewed By: no one On: December 09, 2011 06:48 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
This was an excellent story. Too bad its discontinued. The only thing I didn't like was Bulma's characterization. I just watched the whole Z again and frankly she didn't seem like a slut to me. Its a shame that in almost every story she practically throws herself on the saiyan. |
Title: Very Good Fic
Reviewed By: Caprice [MediaMiner Member] On: June 21, 2008 20:54 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hello, debbiechan, again. I am uncertain as to whether you still read reviews for the vestiges of your DBZ incursion but I have a very strong need to review every piece that I read, so in any case, here you go. I hope this does not come as a nuisance. I have been taking a break from AU to seek out good BV 3 year fics and I am very glad I stumbled upon yours. I actually think this is definitely one of the best versions out there. As I said in some other review I left for a different story of yours, I believe your style is very, very good. I think it has punch (something other fics lack). I only have one issue and that is I truly do not understand why you insisted on going off on the whole killing Gero tangent towards the end of this fic. My very humble opinion is that you could have wrapped this story after Vegeta turns Super Saiyan and the three years are over. It wouldn't have been a very romantic conclusion, granted, because we know Vegeta is not in that place at that point in time, but the fic would have run its proper course, and the whole point would have been very well achieved (to portray how Bulma and Vegeta got together and show what happened during that 3 year period). If you still felt the need to resolve this in a more romantic way then plans for a sequel could have been made but this particular story would have been finished and there would have been a nice sense of closure. In my opinion this could have been easily wrapped at around chapter 25 or 26 at most most. I do understand, how tricky realizing when to finish a fic may be and it is just a shame that good works have to be left incomplete because writers go off unto other fandoms or just fall into pitfalls that they didn't see coming as far as plot goes. This is not meant as some horrible criticism, is just a very sincere and honest opinion about an excellent piece of work from a writer to a truly good writer. Please believe me when I say, I still think this is a very good story and that I did enjoy a lot of it, and you managed to inspire me and hold my attention succesfully. Sincerely yours, Caprice
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Reviewed By: Addict606 (not logged in) On: March 08, 2006 00:25 EST
Comment/Review:
That was great! Worth the wait. I still think you have some Vegeta left in you, even if he is a bastard. I hope Wolfie's okay, I really like him! Great characterization and imagery, the words really flowed. Thanks keep it up.
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Reviewed By: mischief maker [MediaMiner Member] On: March 07, 2006 18:24 EST
Comment/Review:
I can see now why you're hating Vegeta at the moment. I'm looking forward to 18 wounding the hell out of that ego of his. Excellent chapter, BTW. ^_^
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Title: FINALLY
Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna (not signed in) On: March 07, 2006 12:08 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You know, I am so happy right now that I could do a jig! And I also find it funny that I found less mistakes without your beta than with her. please update faster than every few months!!
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Reviewed By: autumn [MediaMiner Member] On: January 03, 2006 00:40 EST
Comment/Review:
Finally got a chance to read the new chapter. So exciting!! Sounds like next chapter is going to be a nail-biter. Can't wait! I'm so glad you came back to re-visit your DBZ Fandom ;) Though something tells me I need to get involved in Bleach... LOL :)
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Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: December 22, 2005 13:31 EST
Comment/Review:
Wow! Glad I finally had time to read this. Oh, Wolfie, trying to assissinate Gero. I'm not sure if that makes him noble or just plain stupid. I like how you portrayed Gero though. We don't really have a good glimpse of his personality in the series so it's hard to imagine what he may have sounded like in the pre-Android timeframe. Errors? Didn't see anything glaring but I did find a couple of sentences that break off into different lines halfway through the sentence (so half is on one line and the rest on the next line - if you look at the chapter online you'll see what I mean). And post partum hormones! I know about those excuses. LOL. Vegeta still stays true to his nature right down to threatening Bulma though I still can't believe he hasn't connected Trunks to M. Trunks (though we do know he doesn't make the connection till M.T.'s identity is revealed in the series). I'm curious as to what Vegeta's response will be though (but I'm sure it will start off with him dismissing the idea and needed to be convinced to save the "human worm"). Keep it....or else I'll help Lisa steal Ishida!
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Reviewed By: gohans_onna (not signed in) On: December 13, 2005 10:11 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! This is indeed a GREAT DAY! I am so happy right now that I can just dance around my classroom! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UPDATING!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU! I would have just been happy with a sentence, and you gave me a whole chapter! JOY! Please, please, please, please update soon!
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Reviewed By: Ember [MediaMiner Member] On: December 13, 2005 03:30 EST
Comment/Review:
Oh Deb! What a wonderful surprise to see that you updated this story. It was fantastic as usual and I hope the bleach bishies can move aside very soon to make way for the next installment.
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Reviewed By: gokusgirl (not logged in) On: December 12, 2005 18:02 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow, an update! Girl don't worry about giving us excuses, explaining what's going on in the REAL world. Take your time, get yourself together... we'll be here when you get back. Sorry you had to witness all the loss down in the south; that was truly tragic. But back to the update, it's really great, keep up the super work! Laters!
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Reviewed By: mischief maker [MediaMiner Member] On: December 12, 2005 17:10 EST
Comment/Review:
w00t!! I absolutely LOVED some of the lines in the scene where Vegeta was flying around. Crap. I should've highlighted them, cause I've already forgotten what they were now. But yeah, excellent choice of wording! These scenes are all so REAL. Yamcha and the new girlfriend who's feeling a little put out by his relationship with his ex. Everyone's attitude towards Bulma's new mama hormones! XD And she's going to manipulate Vegeta into helping her?! I LOVE it. Can't wait to see how it all works out.
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Title: heylo!
Reviewed By: fujinakaheero (not signed in) On: December 12, 2005 17:08 EST
Comment/Review:
Wow.. it's been a while since I've last read this story, I just thought you were gonna let it die, in which case I would be quite sad. Anyways.. I totally forgot about this story for a while, than I saw you update and I couldnt' figure out which story was being updated. But I'm glad that you were able to update. Anyways, good stuff, so until next time. Ja ne! Fujinakaheero
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Reviewed By: Female_typhoon [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2005 14:40 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
very very well written!!! its easy to see that you have an amazing ability to deepen the characters...character!!! lol your ideas, while some may be well used, are put to paper in a way that makes it all seem totaly new!!!! well...this is me sitting here untill a new chapter comes up! dont wanna be waiting for long ok? i'm already hungry. *waits quietly*
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Reviewed By: Cal-Reflector [MediaMiner Member] On: November 16, 2005 03:13 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Really, the story is turning out to be breathtaking in its realistic portrait of not just the fictional characters, but the real life circumstances and struggles through which you bring them to life.
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