| "Always A First Time" Reviews/Comments [ 259 ] |
| Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] |
Title: Chapter 17
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 13, 2005 06:00 EDT
Comment/Review:
Noooooooooo Vegeta's gonna leave! although I don't want it to happen I can see why Vegeta would feel the need to. Whatever he does he always gives it 110% and more, intensely submerging his soul into whatever goal he desires until there is not a drop of sweat left to sacrifice. So when he finds not one, but two seemingly conflicting goals (Bulma and becoming a super saiyan) compromise does not come into the equation, it is either one or the other. I felt that this was magnificently expressed when Vegeta said: 'She is nothing. Becoming Super Saiyan is everything.' Although short and concise this statement is full of a multitude of meaning, it leads me to reflect on his reasons for not saving Bulma and baby trunks when they were blasted out of the sky by Dr Gero.
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Title: Chapter 16
Reviewed By: VenusLegacy [MediaMiner Member] On: June 13, 2005 05:07 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think i've mentioned this before but the touching gentle intamacy between Bulma and Vegeta is so beautiful especially in this chapter, the way you portray the subtle gestures makes me feel as if I am getting a birds eye view of the entire scenario, yet I don't feel removed from it at all in fact I feel pleasurably immersed in the romantic atmosphere.
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Reviewed By: Caralin Fury [MediaMiner Member] On: June 12, 2005 12:44 EDT
Comment/Review:
For fun I went back and started at the beginning rereading all the way to the point where Vegeta turns Super Saiyan...it's an amazing little tale you've created. I was impressed by the flow of the chapters as well as the anticipated build up between love scenes...which I long for! My favorite remains to be the seduction scene in the garden. I love Bulma making the first move, not knowing how Vegeta will respond. I love Vegeta containing all his emotions until Bulma begs him to touch her...simply one of the most true to character and erotically written sexual scenarios I have ever read. Now back to your most recent posting...I cannot even say how emotional I felt after reading your interpretation of Vegeta's past. You captured Vegeta's confusion and guilt over his sexually abusive past perfectly. I identified with Vegeta's shame and the question of his own culpability in regards to the perversive mistreatment by Frieza. Sexual abuse is not an easy subject to write about. The scars left behind are never healed, the nightmares never go away...you handled a very difficult subject with class and respect. As a reader I appreciate and admire you even more. Caralin Fury
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Title: amazed
Reviewed By: starbrella (not signed on) On: June 10, 2005 12:11 EDT
Comment/Review:
OMG! Vegeta finally turned SSJ! I'm soooo happy! This chapter was beatifully written at his pov and what he went through. All the angery and fusteration that he's been through in his childhood and everything that shaped him in to the way that he his. I love it! It's so very heart touching. I really hope u would update soon cuz i can't wait for the next chapter!!!
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Title: Always A First Time
Reviewed By: maccam [MediaMiner Member] On: June 10, 2005 07:08 EDT
Comment/Review:
I took the night off from chatting just to read your story Deb. It's different and unique just like you. i love different spins on Vegeta and Bulma stories. can't wiat to read the next chapter.
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Title: I loved it!
Reviewed By: snen (problems logging in, as usual) On: June 10, 2005 04:43 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ooo look! I can review without signing in (I feel like such an idiot). I really loved chapter 21, especially the way it was written as though Vegeta really was suffering mental damage shown through the sudden breaking of sentances and memories into each other. It was fascinating knowing what goes through his head, and it was also a very plausible link to the actual DBZ anime, made even more so to the references to what happened in the anime, such as the meteor storm. However, you made it original and very emotionally complex, adding to the depth of the transformation to Super Saiya-jin. There was a small error when you wrote about the only thing Vegeta knew how to do was fight - the word order is slightly confused.
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Reviewed By: eleneK * again with the no logging in* On: June 09, 2005 23:56 EDT
Comment/Review:
It was great. I loved the progression in Vegeta's rage. Going from nothing to full boil. and the trigger at the end when he realized that the only person he had to be mad at was himself. It seemed to twist and writhe.
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Reviewed By: Jess... On: June 09, 2005 14:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
well written chapter and great investigation into Vegeta's past... You did a great job... and I need to go get ready for work now... ;)
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Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: June 09, 2005 13:00 EDT
Comment/Review:
What an emotionally charged chapter. I was surprised by Vegeta's thoughts. When he told Frieza that he was "a warrior, not a diplomat" and how he didn't want to be king anyway, I was shocked being that he was so proud to proclaim he's "the prince of all Saiyans". Then I began to think further and decided that Vegeta only said it just to say it...perhaps to gain Frieza's favor or make him feel less threatened (and we can infer that Frieza was always threatened by the Saiyan race). Then towards the end Vegeta realized that he really did want to be "ruler of the galaxy" when Frieza turned him away. Funny how one sometimes doesn't even know their own mind; they can think one thing and let reality be entirely different. I think you handled the Frieza/Vegeta issues well. You didn't get into lenghty details but gave enough to show the impact it had on Vegeta's life and where he felt the betrayal. Ok, one thing I must debate with you: "tucked his thumb against his palm and shot a Final Flash"...according to my subbed dvds for Android Saga, that should have been Vegeta's Big Bang attack (final flash is both hands psuhed in front of him) - and big bang can only be done in Super Saiyan form. Sorry, but I'm a true Vegeta fangurl! LOL. And a minor sentence suggestion: "how could Vegeta have believed that Frieza had any other plan other than degradation for the Saiyan prince" - I think 2 "others" was too much, perhaps "...Frieza had any plan other than degradation for...prince".
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Reviewed By: Gohans_Onna (not logged in) On: June 09, 2005 10:46 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This chapter was beyond excellent. I loved it; the way that you protrayed the way he was feeling was beyond words. It was amazing to see how he was feeling during those moments, for he doesn't say what he is feeling in the series, you just see it. It was incredible how the way he turned into Super Saiya-jin all had to do with Frieza and his father and all the betrayal he had experienced in his life. The way you protrayed his screams, even the silent ones, were awe-inspiring. I just sat there and read, with my mouth hanging open. And the last sentence--I AM SUPER SAIYA-JIN. It was a perfect, PERFECT ending. And even though we have been going on for quite a while about that thread about Frieza's Sexuality in DBZ Fanfic Salon and what everyone thinks about it, I think that with what you had Frieza do to Vegeta makes this story all the better, makes it cling closer to your heart and understand the way that Vegeta was feeling. I can't go on enough how beautiful this chapter was--excellent, EXCELLENT job, debbiechan.
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Reviewed By: Flamingo6584 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 07, 2005 09:52 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh, you are a cruel woman debbiechan!!!
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Title: amazed
Reviewed By: star-brella (not sighed on) On: June 06, 2005 16:20 EDT
Comment/Review:
::cries:: the part where bulma finally saw that vegeta is gone is really sad. But i guess that's how the stort moves on. N e ways great job!
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Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: June 06, 2005 11:56 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh, poor Vegeta. Are we going to get a more in depth look into Vegeta's history? Even with the brief look into his past, I feel for Vegeta. I can't believe that he left before Bulma could tell him about the baby! I think that shocked me. In some ways I saw it coming with the last chapter but to actually see the scene where we know he's gone. I wonder how this will impact Vegeta and the story when he comes back.
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Title: Chapter 15
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 06, 2005 08:58 EDT
Comment/Review:
It's amazing how Vegeta can just throw a blast at Yamcha and fly away switching his mind to other things as if it was nothing, he may as well have been batting an annoying fly out of the way for all the attention he paid to the matter.Yet I wonder if the confrontation with Yamcha was as insignificant to Vegeta as it first appeared or if it really was something substantial that he just locked away.For earlier on during Bulma and Vegeta's excursion to the sea and their return, he seemed quite frustrated and the anger kept building up inside of him, I see now that this was in part due to jealousy towards Yamcha at approaching Bulma in the pool, but it seems as if something else is niggling away at the prince's soul.His frustration at Bulma's incapabilities under the sea; his desire to leave the ocean and deposit Bulma in her room; the descovery of the blood on Bulma; his horror and seeming disgust at Bulma's pleas to continue their activities and his impassioned desire to leave again.I wonder what he is really angry about.The scene with Vegeta training in the sea is immensely enthralling, i felt as if Vegeta was desperately trying to obtain some purging, or purification of his soul.I was reminded of what Yamcha said about Vegeta training as if he is running away from something. For it definately seemed as if there was a demon hot on his heels that Vegeta just couldn't escape from. His diving 'deep deep' into the water also reminded me of his recurring dreams or nightmares
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Title: Chapter 12
Reviewed By: Venus Legacy On: June 06, 2005 06:15 EDT
Comment/Review:
Oh my gosh Yamcha don't go to the pool! Yamcha wants a dip inside Bulma but it would seem the pool is somewhat engaged,ha ha what an evil cliff hanger i'm glad i don't have to wait i'm on to the next chapter.
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| Pages (18): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 › » ] |
