| "Future Heart, Future Pain, Future Hope" Reviews/Comments [ 56 ] |
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
Reviewed By: BrokenAngel1219 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 08, 2008 19:40 CST
Comment/Review:
omg. awesome so far. plz try 2 update soon. i absolutly luv this story!
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Title: Nice to see you
Reviewed By: Fyrloche [MediaMiner Member] On: January 13, 2007 09:26 CST
Comment/Review:
Good to see you writing again. Good work. Did you get my e-mail? I need to know if that address is still good and if you have any additions to that chapter. Later, Fyrloche
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Reviewed By: Jester08 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 12, 2007 16:57 CST
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great chapter. I'm glad your back!! I can't wait to see what happens next, so update soon please!!! ^_^
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Reviewed By: Jester08 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 06, 2006 14:48 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story. It's different, but different is good! LOL can't wait for more.
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Reviewed By: Bloodbrother [MediaMiner Member] On: June 18, 2006 13:07 CDT
Comment/Review:
i do like this fic alot keep it up its more original than alot of things ive read
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Title: OOH
Reviewed By: Mystic Hanyou [MediaMiner Member] On: May 26, 2006 22:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
Naraku just had to stick his nose where it doesn't belong. Well, that does seem to be his nature. I feel sorry for Sesshoumaru and Mimiko. To lose such a bond. Can't wait to see more, later.
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Reviewed By: demoncatkuroro [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2006 13:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
the story's kinda hard to follow but interesting nontheless. please update!
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Title: FFRG Review
Reviewed By: ElvinYouko [MediaMiner Member] On: April 18, 2006 20:30 CDT
Comment/Review:
Since you did not specify a chapter, i have read chapters 14 and 20. I have done this so that I can focus on the writing and not the plot, because you mentioned that you were particularly interested in a critique of your writing. Overall, your writing is decent but a little rough. Brushing up on grammar would help. If that doesn\'t work, read your story aloud and insert punctuation where you feel like you need to take a breath. For example, in chapter 14 \"No wonder you come to me so often it isn\'t because you get hurt so much, because you are afraid..ââ'¬Â¦\" needs some more punctuation. I would put a ; between often and it, because both sides of the ; have a complete sentence, and the idea shifts slightly right there, but you do not want a full break. On the other hand, you have the opposite problem in chapter 20 \"Giving a wry laugh, the monk tightens his hold around her waist, making the slayer blush, somewhat as she feels his body against her backside.\" Instead of not having enough punctuation, you have too much. I would take out the last comma, which disrupts the flow. A good rule of thumb is to not have more than 2 or 3 commas in one sentence. In both chapters, I noticed that you change tenses occassionally, which makes the action hard to understand. You also use odd words; \"she can\'t help but be curious\" should have \"couldn\'t\" in place of \"can\'t,\" and you speak of people in the 3rd person (she, the monk, etc) while using the present tense, which is jarring. Overall, I suggest getting a good beta while you brush up on idioms and common usage and basic grammar rules. You have an interesting plot, from what I saw of it, and your writing gets the main points across pretty well. But it needs to be fine tuned a little bit so that readers aren\'t jarred. Two ways to find good betas: the MM.org Beta thread, which should have decent quality betas, and a English teacher at your local school. I know that sounds geeky, but it\'s better than a classmate. A teacher can generally be trusted to know what they are doing, and to be reliable enough to get it back to you in a reasonable amount of time. Thank you for submitting you fic!
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Reviewed By: animecrazedgirl [MediaMiner Member] On: February 18, 2006 20:56 CST
Comment/Review:
This is one of the best stories i've ever read and I don't usually say that about people's stories! Actually, i've never said that about a story on mediaminer.org and i've read a LOT of stories! This story is awesome and you should update REAL soon! I NEED to know what happens! I have ideas of what is to happen but i'm not sure. Anyways, I don't think the characters are OCC. I didn't even think about that till you mentioned it. I know they are not the way they are usually,(You know dense hot-tempered hanyou, lecherous monk, things like that.) but they don't seem like it because you've made there personality gradually change so it seemed to me that they had just kinda changed and I think that is probably how they would react in that kind of situation so I think you are doing exceptionally well in your writing. You've put a lot of thought into this story and it makes me feel like i'm reading a story written by one of those famous authors. I also believe you've done so well on the characters that sometimes I think that these events might eventually be played out in the series and I am truly enjoying this story. You know that one scene where Inuyasha was on the verge of tears and was remembering all those memories about how his mother died and not having his brothers acceptance and all the hate people gave him? Well, when I was reading that, it made me think of this song I heard one time called Blessed by:Christina Aguilera. It made me think of these lines in the song. When I think, how life used to be, always walking in the shadows, then I look, at what you've given me, I feel like dancing on my tiptoes, I must say, everday I wake, I realize you're by my side, I know i'm truly, Chorousblessed, for all the things you've given me, blessed, for all the tenderness you show, do my best, with every breath that's in me, blessed, to make sure you never go, There are times, that test your fate, till you think you might surrender, baby i'm, i'm not ashamed to say, that my hopes were growing slender, You were right, in the nick of time, lookin' like an enter pray, Chorous blessed, with love and understanding, blessed, when I hear you call my name, do my best, with faith that's never ending, blessed, to make sure you feel the same, deep inside of me, you fill me with your tender touch, Chorous Well, that's all I have to say! I love your story! Please update soon and about you're story... WOW. One more thing, I think you should make the chapters longer but other than that, it's perfect! UPDATE!!!
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Reviewed By: kyli the wolf hanyou [MediaMiner Member] On: January 10, 2006 01:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this was REAL GOOD, hope u update soon.
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Title: Hey
Reviewed By: Mystic Hanyou [MediaMiner Member] On: December 13, 2005 19:36 CST
Comment/Review:
Sorry I haven't review. Sometimes I get got in the reading mode that to stop and review becomes second. Anyways. Wow. Now the reason for the long hatred between the bothers is revealed. I can see why Sesshoumaru has be hatful to Inuyasha and why he was jealous of Kagome and Inuyasha's mating. The poor guy. I would say to Mimori, that she shouldn't worry about dishonoring her family. That they have dishonored her by taking her away from a mate that she loved. Can't wait to see more. Later.
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Reviewed By: InuFreakFan [MediaMiner Member] On: November 13, 2005 18:55 CST
Comment/Review:
This story is just so damn awesome. I can't even begin to tell you how this makes me feel. I...wow...I don't even know what to say other than the fact that ur freakin awesome. Oh, and you may be a lousy typist but ypur a freakin great authoress. Keep up the good work.
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Reviewed By: Belle ange [MediaMiner Member] On: October 16, 2005 05:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I must learn more of this jealouse burst from the handsomely stoic demon lord. I loved it so much that I've added it to my author oppertunity.
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Reviewed By: NordicaVB [MediaMiner Member] On: September 26, 2005 19:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Very interesting story. Hope you continue this story. You said that it was originally going to be a oneshot (which had it been, it would we great) but you have a great plot developing and I would really like to see what happens next. Hope you find the time/inspiration to continue and finish your story!
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Reviewed By: LadyIreland On: August 25, 2005 23:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I find your writing immensely enjoyable. I can't wait until you write more, I have to know what happens!!!
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Title: wow
Reviewed By: Jezi futhark [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2005 21:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
oh wow i am here my internet is down and i can't get to a working one often enough but when i do i love to read and read this is amazing what the crap is he doing to kagome and why? is anything going to get through to their son . i can't wait for more. please can you hurry:puppy dog eyes: i know i am not as good as some but i really am begging. : on knees begging: well thank you for the story and i can't wait for more. jezi
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Title: okay
Reviewed By: Jezi futhark [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2005 21:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
okay now i feel a little bad about being so happy that she had died jezi
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Title: she's gone!
Reviewed By: Jezi futhark [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2005 21:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
there are times when i hate her and other she is okay but i really do not like that dead clay pot! jezi
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Title: obedience
Reviewed By: Jezi futhark [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2005 21:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
i will be obedient and review as you ask as long as i can then continue reading master Jezi
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Reviewed By: Terra34 On: July 25, 2005 10:05 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ok whats with him? Anyway really good.
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Reviewed By: Terra34 On: July 17, 2005 11:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow Taro is more important then I thought. Really good. UPDAE SOON
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Title: ^^
Reviewed By: marta178 - not logged in On: July 07, 2005 13:55 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Woow I've only read all your fic today but it's one of the best I've been reading latelly :D Update soon please!! ^____^
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Reviewed By: Zirra Nova [MediaMiner Member] On: July 06, 2005 15:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
oh no evil cliffy, bad autheress. bad...please update asap, this is awsome, and please update. ja ne, Zirra
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Reviewed By: Terra34 On: July 06, 2005 09:51 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very good I like so far anyway UPDATE SOON
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Reviewed By: Mekia On: July 06, 2005 04:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this story!!! please write more i can't wait to read the next chapter. *spins around in chair* reading this story is like having caffeine except the charge you get from it dosen't go away. ^.^
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Reviewed By: Terra34 On: June 29, 2005 15:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hahahaha funny I like it Update soon
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Reviewed By: Zirra Nova(yup...i'm still not logged in) On: June 28, 2005 09:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
yes kikyo is a nusaince..always bugging InuYasha(even though he's trying to get revenge for her) and never trying to take Naraku(who killed her) to hell and all..i agree with you..very annoying.. oh well...great chapter.. yeah for fluff :D update soon. ja ne, Zirra
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Reviewed By: Terra34 On: June 27, 2005 11:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
Cool I also made my own charater in a story on fanfiction.net. Her name Mika and shes Inuyasha's half sister. ANyway love the chapter really do Update soon
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Reviewed By: Zirra Nova(yeah yeah logging in is over-rated) On: June 26, 2005 13:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
great absolutly wonderful, i would have never thought of that. kikyo wasn't a bad person after all...just confused and well she was dead but i won't hold that against her. :P awsome chapter. update soon...ja ne, Zirra
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Reviewed By: Mystic Hanyou [MediaMiner Member] On: June 25, 2005 19:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well that was an interesting way for Kikyou pass on. Your doing really good. So Taro is quite the inegima huh, good idea. Can't wait for more.
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