| "The Mind's Eye" Reviews/Comments [ 39 ] |
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Title: Pretty cool.
Reviewed By: Koday [MediaMiner Member] On: May 07, 2006 09:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really love this one! It's a pretty original premise, and the characters, as well as their respective developments are pretty well and realistically handled as well. I've spent the last couple of days riffling through the chapters, and find myself almost addicted to this. Dialogue is also very fun. But something concerned me in the most recent chapters. Your writing style is starting to feel somehow more rushed. Like you're taking less time to describe character reactions and details in favour of mostly going for dialogue. The dialogue itself is great and all, but it feels weird when something major happens and we don't get much insight into the characters' mental of physical responses, and instead just immediately hear them say "All right! Let's go!" (Inuyasha's discovery of the flower's "smell", for example, is a scene that I though had this rushed feeling.) This kinda bugs me, because the earlier chapters were great with this kind of thing, and I felt that this really made the fic. Well, that aside, I still feel that this is really great, and really wanna find out where the plot goes. Naraku's bizarre frustration with the events has me particularly intrigued. Rock on.
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Reviewed By: rin_sama1989 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2006 07:48 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sorry it took so long, I've been having trouble with work and school and now my publisher. >< But great chapter. I love the twists!
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Reviewed By: dudekiller(nsi) On: January 20, 2006 17:33 CST
Comment/Review:
COOL UPDATE!!!!!!!!! i liked this chap a lot. man hojo really should have just given her redwall, very good book originally written for a school for the blind. please please please update soon.
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Title: Response: Ardent Amber
Reviewed By: CrimsonBirdhouse (I'm lazy, too!) On: January 17, 2006 17:58 CST
Comment/Review:
You're right- I really SHOULD update faster. I think it's because I'm currently juggling two stories, and I hafta switch from one story to the next, which throws me off. Starting them both at relatively the same time was a BIG mistake on my part, especially since Mind's Eye has a darker tone to it than Unattainable. Thanks for reading!
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Reviewed By: Ardent amber On: January 17, 2006 11:05 CST
Comment/Review:
Hm...good, lolz, you REALLY need to update faster, I'm starting to forget what's happened! Oh well still glad to read it and good luck on finals, I've got some exams coming too...ugh! Anyway, yeah I'm not signed in...lazyness ^.^
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Reviewed By: rin^^ On: November 30, 2005 05:46 CST
Comment/Review:
YAY an update! Oh, and a interview with Takahashi-sama has uncovered that Kagome's father actually died in a car crash and they went to live with Grandpa. Just thought to tell you. Awsomeness chapter! YAY!
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Reviewed By: Chibi Rouyakan [MediaMiner Member] On: November 04, 2005 13:13 CST
Comment/Review:
Awesome! ^^ I can't wait for the next chapter to come out!! You're doing great!
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Reviewed By: dudekiller [MediaMiner Member] On: October 30, 2005 18:31 CST
Comment/Review:
this is an awesome story. really cool idea for making kagome blind. i like the way you describe through out the story. its kinda like your going through what kagomes going through. please update soon.
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Reviewed By: Angel_4_life [MediaMiner Member] On: October 30, 2005 18:00 CST
Comment/Review:
oh and by the way, i liked that you named Kagome's father Kiyoshi. i named my late fish that. in case you don't know, it means purity.
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Reviewed By: Angel_4_life [MediaMiner Member] On: October 30, 2005 17:55 CST
Comment/Review:
its okay that you didn't like haunted. its an unwritten rule that all authors must hate their first writing piece. well maybe not all authors but I didnt really like my first dtory 'waltz' but i posted it anyway. my writing has really improved since then (my story 'forever yours') and so has yours. nothing to worry about, you have talent. i love your stories. anyways ive been meaning to read this story for a long time but i never got around to it. now i wish i'd read it sooner. it is breathtaking and creative. i love it. it would be interesting if naraku found out Kagome's condition...lol but it would be bad to. wonderful writing and update soon! preferably some time in november but if you have as much schoolwork as i do then just do your best... Wow long review...
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Title: ummmm
Reviewed By: the color bleu On: August 28, 2005 21:03 CDT
Comment/Review:
I cant really describe this one. Ive been thinking on what i should say for a while and ive got nothing really. Sorry to hear about ur pet. I know what thats like. For the chapter ill just say it needsa little gramatical work but the storyline is great.
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Title: Ch 4
Reviewed By: Pawz On: July 19, 2005 23:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
First of all...HA I guessed right! *does happy dance* (re: Nozomi) Ok, now earlier on in this chapter after the first fight, there are a couple of spelling errors. Minor but still readable. Also, for the 'Twisted Essenses' that arrived...could it be because Nozomi created that portal to talk with Kagome? They followed her through it? Was she really sacraficed to those beings?? *shudders* People of any age could get really really sick! Sacrificing a young (although spiritually strong) child like that! How quick will Kagome's training progress now that she know's who she is? Will the others from the other side of the well believe her? Will Inu-chan actually leave her alone for 7 days instead of 5? *laughs* I hope you can update soon! Take care, ja ne!
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Title: Ch 4
Reviewed By: Pawz On: July 19, 2005 22:59 CDT
Comment/Review:
*blinks* You know you almost made me nauseated with InuYasha's attitude towards Kagome after talking with Shippo. It was like he felt 'obligated' towards her. Like she was Kikyou! *shudders* That would be very sickening. Kagome would not appreciate that feeling as well. But I'm glad she's now 'comming to terms' with her current situation. So will you tell how Hojo will tell her future friends? Also Nozomi seems to be comming around alot more now. Or her spirit is. How will Kikyou react to this loss of site? Will she also be affected by it somehow? Or will she make any sort of appearance to this fic at all? Not that I mind if she doesn't. I don't care for her too much. Then again, I'm very early on in the Anime. She still may change abit. Huh...even Naruku is unaware of this new Demon/Youkai? Nice twist. Ja ne!
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Title: Ch 3
Reviewed By: Pawz On: July 19, 2005 22:21 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
So Nozomi is traveling through some type of Portal? How did she know to come to Kamgome's aid and train her?? Since she is a Miko of some type it's no wonder that InuYasha was purified somewhat. It was nice of her to get Kagome back to somewhat normal. Cool chapter, even if somewhat gory. But that follows the storyline very well. It IS the Warring States Era after all. Have fun and update soon as you can! You have me addicted to this story now as well! *grins*
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Title: Ch2
Reviewed By: Pawz On: July 19, 2005 21:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well sorry someone doesn't like your originality for your breakers. I think they're cute, not annoying. *shrugs* But as for this chapter, it's more like a novel! I love these types of storylines that are so long! You don't have to wait over long for another update this way. Story wise...now you have me curious if Kagome is just Dreaming of Nozomi or having some type of Vision of her? Plus I forgot to make a comment on her modern day blindness...she *grins* already has One Up on Modern Day Blind Dogs! She has one that can talk back to her! InuYasha! *laughs* Sorry couldn't resist that one. Not to say anything bad on Modern Day medicines or such. Every little thing helps. On that note, take care. Ja ne!
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