| "A Saiyajin's Heart" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: Free-sprit [MediaMiner Member] On: March 23, 2008 12:21 EDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Comment/Review:
Vegeta is wau ooc for my liking... it just doesn't feel real, when he's acting so human-like... Vegeta from the books would never go to an amusement park with anyone... And i don't think he would decide to mate bulma´, and stay on earth... That wouldn't fit with the books, since Bulma an Vegeta weren't together when Trunks was a baby... Ah well. Sorry if there's any spelling og grammer errors, english is my second language. But hey, you already said he would be ooc, so i guess im not that surprised.
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Title: NO WAY!
Reviewed By: luvyoubraandgoten [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2008 19:54 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg omg omg oh my gawd!!! no! that bitch couldnt do that!!! oooo i cant wait till the sequeal!! can u please email me and tell me when your gonna on the site? please? luvyoubranandgoten
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Title: Very interesting
Reviewed By: flame-washu [MediaMiner Member] On: March 19, 2008 19:41 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I liked this very much, I, right now am righting a mix oh Hn and Ya which will turn out long like this one, inspiring and nut bulging of course lol. Plus if you would be kind and wait for my story and review I'd love that!
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Title: AWESOME
Reviewed By: luvyoubraandgoten [MediaMiner Member] On: March 01, 2008 16:24 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG I REMEMBER THIS FIC! it kicked ass! im so happy that your gunna do this fic again! btw great chapter! cant wait till u update again!
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Reviewed By: chiku [MediaMiner Member] On: November 27, 2006 15:42 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a really good story its a shame you have never updated it
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Title: Cool
Reviewed By: Saiyazon [MediaMiner Member] On: November 02, 2005 10:20 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That's a cute chapter. I love how Bulma leaves him haniging and then he pulls a shocker. Who would have thought Vegeta would be the first to say it. Keep writing I'll keep reading.
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Title: Muahaha
Reviewed By: Saiyazon [MediaMiner Member] On: October 04, 2005 11:29 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I want to know what happens next? How will Vegeta's hormones take this knew improved warrior bulma! More please!
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Reviewed By: heiress2thethrone (not signed in) On: August 14, 2005 16:30 EDT
Comment/Review:
yah great job. i admit i cant exactly see the diffrence between ur older version and the new edited one. but im stil enjoying rereading it all the same. until next time. ja
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Reviewed By: Subu [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2005 18:27 EDT
Comment/Review:
I like your story very much. it is written in way that makes you believe it could have gone this way. I didn't notice any mistakes but maybe thats just me. when I read a story I will not look for mistakes, only if there are really bad ones. I think you are an excellent writer and I sure hope you will one day finish your story 'thin lines'. that used to be my favorite. I also cant wait for the sequel of this story. Plead keep writing.
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Reviewed By: jeck On: August 13, 2005 09:12 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
I remember reading your past stories and liking a lot of your ideas. But upon re-reading this fic, I wince now and then because there's still spelling and grammar errors despite being beta'd. Fluctuated-- not "fluxuated." Muscular and hairless rather than "muscular, and hairless." It's an holier-than-thou attitude- not scowl. The foolish woman rather than "the fool woman." There are also numerous word choices that seem awkward like "as if talking to a child" when I feel more comfortable with "speaking." You also don't use adverbs to their fullest extent, which if applied well, helps to tighten the writing. It's confusing when you write stuff like "spoke into the phone in relief." Actually, that clause is so messy, I'm not sure how to clean that up. I'm not sure if it's even needed. I also got the sense that you were trying to make Vegeta sound pompous and correct by avoiding contractions such as "Why did you not tell me?" when really, a better impressive is given if you just use higher-level vocabulary. Inform is a good choice in this instance: "Why was I not informed?" The other thing is not really related to the story but usually I think of Author's notes as tidbits of information where the author reveals something that needs to be known. You came off rather defensive as if anticipating attack. It actually makes you seem more belligerent too- with the threats- joking or not. This isn't a flame but somehow I won't be surprised if you insist that it is one.
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Reviewed By: NJNPOP On: August 11, 2005 23:19 EDT
Comment/Review:
I liked this story when I read it originally. Are you going to update some of your other fanfics?
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Reviewed By: Darkangel2379 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2005 20:19 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please continue!
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Reviewed By: chantal [MediaMiner Member] On: May 31, 2005 06:24 EDT
Comment/Review:
Glad you`re back. I love all your BV fics. I hope you keep all your fics going.
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Reviewed By: butterflyV On: May 30, 2005 23:30 EDT
Comment/Review:
It's cool, even if you say it's an old one. Any chance you could keep "JAKUTEN" going, I really loved that one?!
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Reviewed By: Subu [MediaMiner Member] On: May 30, 2005 16:10 EDT
Comment/Review:
hello, it is good to hear from you again. I am looking forward to read your old fics again and maybe, I hope, some new ones too.
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