| "Practice" Reviews/Comments [ 56 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
Title: Oops again...
Reviewed By: forechunkukee [MediaMiner Member] On: September 03, 2005 21:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
If I keep missing your updates like this, sooner or later I'm gonna forget you keep writing this stuff! Good thing I remembered now. Impressive updates to say the least. Congratulations - you've managed to suck me into this story again. Concerning Asuma's current state, I don't know what to say about the whole issue. The plot derailment could be very good, or very bad depending on how you look at it. Personally, I like it, it gives me a feel for what else is going on in this story's universe, and also provides reasons for some stuff that's going on. Keep it up, can't wait to see more!
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Title: Chapter 14
Reviewed By: WarpWizard [MediaMiner Member] On: September 03, 2005 01:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
"Shinji didn't care. A distant part of him wondered why he took the Second's death so hard, and he attempted to think about that for a while before giving up." This confuses me...the rest of the chapter doesn't indicate she's dead...
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Reviewed By: Karandil On: August 30, 2005 15:36 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
You have introduced a strange development to your story, and I look forward to seeing how you are going to link the two parts together. How are you going to wrrite a disabled Asuka, unable to even breathe on her own ? Is she going to continue piloting Eva, even more fanatically since it now is the only way she has of experiencing mobility ? If you keep writing, I will keep reading. Oh, and the two guys are from Lain, yes ?
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Reviewed By: Ravenz2008 (not logged in) On: August 23, 2005 18:05 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
A nice chapter. I'm excited in seeing what happens next!
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Title: new chapter
Reviewed By: Peacemaker [MediaMiner Member] On: August 22, 2005 10:05 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Nice chapter and I can;t wait to see what happened to Asuka. Keep up the good work and update when you have time please.
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Title: Surprised (ch12)
Reviewed By: darkfriend [MediaMiner Member] On: August 21, 2005 22:36 CDT
Comment/Review:
Boy, I didn't see that one coming. Definitely a step in an interesting direction and I'm curious what you'll do with everything now that you've truly broken off from the traditional plotline. Eagerly awaiting your next update.
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Reviewed By: A-Z Mk II On: August 21, 2005 19:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well, I'm not sure about the new direction, but good luck. I'll see how it plays out before making more comments.
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Reviewed By: forechunkukee [MediaMiner Member] On: August 21, 2005 18:05 CDT
Comment/Review:
Awesome, good to see that you updated! Interesting chapter, meeting Shimano's mom and all...and that kiss! Good work, I can't help but wonder what manner of trouble Sohryu managed to get herself in now...Awesome, can't wait to see more. d('')b
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Title: ch.11
Reviewed By: Peacemaker(not logged in) On: August 14, 2005 23:19 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another good chapter and it had some nice amount of fluff in it. Keep up the good work and update when you have time please.
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Title: Ch. 11
Reviewed By: darkfriend [MediaMiner Member] On: August 14, 2005 23:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Fantastic update this chapter. I particularly liked the contrast of Shinji's guarded interaction with his father and the "heart-on-his-sleeve" moments with Motowa. In almost every other OC fanfic I've read, I was not impressed and felt that the original character could have been omitted for a better story; Your character is already feeling like a canonical Eva character in my mind (minus the mental problems). As previously, excellent work and well worth the wait!
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Reviewed By: jojojellybean On: August 14, 2005 19:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
awesome ... keep it up
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Title: Nice
Reviewed By: forechunkukee [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2005 21:20 CDT
Comment/Review:
And here I pass judgment. You're definitely one of my favorite authors here. This story has been nothing short of excellant, and is one of the first OC fanfics I've enjoyed in quite a while. Amazing how you are braiding different character's historys into one another. I'm very interested in how Shimano seems to know Ayanami pretty well...wonder what that could mean. This is one of those stories that you can't quite always predict what's going on...but here, that's a good thing. Trust me. Keep it up, I love your work, can't wait to see more. Peace! d('')b p.s - loved the chapter title. Good to see you're sticking as close to Evangelion as possible. Oh, and one more thing. That song is a decent challenge. If you play the piano, look that one up! Peace!
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Reviewed By: dennisud [MediaMiner Member] On: August 11, 2005 18:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
A great jaunt and so well written. I really feel for Motowa as a charished character and feel like as she and shini develop their relationship, the storyline will eventually pull them apart. I'm very intrigued with Motawa's friendship of Rei, and how that would change things. As for Asuka she might feel Motowa's a rival for her. She might try to either steal Shinji or berate their relationship. Hope this keeps being as entertaining. dennisud
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Reviewed By: denisud2015 On: August 11, 2005 18:39 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
A great jaunt and so well written. I really feel for Motowa as a charished character and feel like as she and shini develop their relationship, the storyline will eventually pull them apart. I'm very intrigued with Motawa's friendship of Rei, and how that would change things. As for Asuka she might feel Motowa's a rival for her. She might try to either steal Shinji or berate their relationship. Hope this keeps being as entertaining. dennisud
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Title: Chs. 7-10
Reviewed By: darkfriend [MediaMiner Member] On: August 09, 2005 23:03 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
As before I see positive progress in the writing style and relationship. I like how you're working in Shinji's friends in this fic so far. Some have mentioned longer chapters would improve the fic. That could be true and while I would like longer chapters, I kinda like the fact that we get another chapter every couple of days or so rather than once every two weeks or so...besides we're still in the exposition stage of the fic so I'm guessing longer chapters will come as needed for the story itself... Great job...and don't force anything.
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