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| "Playing Home" Reviews/Comments [ 49 ] | | Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] | Reviewed By: lyricakasin On: October 21, 2006 18:31 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please update? I can't wait to read more! hehe. I love your story so far....I LOVE IT! LOVE YOU!
| Reviewed By: BlueEye On: October 11, 2006 17:04 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Fuck a CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe you did that you have to update soon or I'll go insane UPDATE really really SOON PLEASE!!!!!
| Reviewed By: one2many [MediaMiner Member] On: September 17, 2006 16:04 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this story it's sooo good! >_< DAMN YOU! you always leave at the BIGGEST cliff hanger! Um just wondering, how come Gohan called his dad Goku and not Dad or father at one point? Would you say that they are growing appart? Well anyway! Please keep going with this story after they are both well and stuff *If Vegeta gets better* PLEASE DON'T KILL HIM! Or this whole thing would be for nothing! Please no sad endings! PLEASE! And omg! I love how you tend to incorporate a lot of the other DBZ characters. Many people just stick to the main 2 or 3 and never write for the rest. You've written about practically everyone that matters accept Mairi Trunks. *i am blabbing i know* Please update soon! I can't sleep properly knowing that Vegeta might die! AHHHH! >_<
Okay i'll go away now... you've probably stopped reading this by now anyway so.... Thank you so much! And please update soon! p.s. More Goten and trunks!
| Reviewed By: NewFan On: July 30, 2006 18:53 PDT
Comment/Review:
Hey there- I actually really like the Goten-Trunks pairing, though the few other fanfics I've read with this pair depict them as a bit older. I gotta feel bad for Goten, though, that must have been rather traumatizing. I hope it doesn't hurt their chances getting together later, because for some reason it seems completely natural for them to end up together regardless of their fathers' orientation. And what was up with all that pain Vegeta was suddenly feeling? They almost seem like labor pains, but that can't be right... I hope the baby is okay. I assume Goku will eventually convince Vegeta to see Bulma and she will eventually give him a checkup and figure out what happened and fix him... yes, I'm hopelessly optimistic. By the way, Karela eating a mouse left me with a very, very perturbing image... Saiyan babies have stronger stomachs than human babies, right? We don't have to worry about Karela getting sick or a nasty infection from the mouse, right? Yeah, I really don't like to see/ read about babies getting hurt, nine times out of ten it will make me cry.... Moving on now, drunk Kamala, woohoo! But it makes me wonder, where does he get the beer from? Hmm. In any case, I am so glad he and Gohan have finally gotten past all the misunderstandings and other issues they had and just jumped in the sack together. Sweet! The moral of the story: beer helps the truth come out, everyone should drink and be happy and affectionate together! Or not, whatever. Anyway, great chapters, I can't wait to see how it's going to end, but I'm also going to miss the characters. By any chance do you have another sequel planned? Either way, I'll read anything you write, I've read enough to know you can be depended on to dish out a great story. So, I'm eagerly awaiting next chapter and whatever comes after, keep up the good work!
| Reviewed By: NewFan On: July 18, 2006 15:04 PDT
Comment/Review:
Hey, someone's been very busy writing while I've been away! Seems like I have enough material to get me through a week of boring, stressful work. And I've got to say, it definitely helps pass the time at work (but don't tell anyone that, I'm supposed to be doing office type things while on the computer... the boss-man will be so pissed if he knew). First, I always enjoy the humor, it's as delightful as ever, with Goku busting in on Kamala at the shower, and the both of them asking Krillin what the worm was saying. That had me laughing so hard even though I was trying not to laugh at all, my co-workers started to stare. Then, to top it off, Piccolo gets stuck with Raaven for six months, and Krillin walks in on Goku and Vegeta's intimate moment. Hehehe, good times. By the way, having Raaven go to the Time Chamber was a pretty clever move, and keeping Kamala sedated was also pretty clever, though a bit brutal, but somehow that didn't bother Vegeta, he can be deliciously evil. Taking in a crook as his man-servant, amusingly ironic. And that was some hilarious exchange between Shenron, Vegeta and Goku, makes me think how noone ever bothers to ask the dragon how he feels. And, Goten and Trunks kissed? But they're still so young, must be a Saiyan thing. I'd like to see more of drunk Gohan, drunkeness in itself is endlessly entertaining (unless I'm the drunk one, then I don't remember anything); drunk and Gohan, who seems to be awkward enough already, make for plenty of happy times. Seems like Gohan has finally decided who he wants to go after, though that doesn't necessarily mean his feelings are as single-minded. Kamala's failure to take a hint, as vague as it was, is just the first of what will most likely be many complications between the two, if indeed they end up together... things are never simple with Saiyans, huh? So, great writing, like always, I'll be so looking forward to the next update.
| Reviewed By: NewFan On: May 23, 2006 20:26 PDT
Comment/Review:
Hmm, Vegeta's response to Gohan's revelation was surprisingly tame, he is a lot more unpredictable than I expected. I'm not sure exactly how I thought he'd react, but I did imagine him having a much stronger reaction overall. By the way, it's cute (for lack of a better word) how he keeps hiding from Goku whenever he gets angry, he can be rather childlike at times, it's really endearing. I liked seeing things from Gohan's perspective, earlier references had all been somewhat vague, so knowing exactly what happened, and how, is intriguing. I'm glad that Kamala is at least talking rationally with Goku now, hopefully that means he's getting better. And what other problem can he have that is none of Goku's concern? You got me curious now. Anyway, like always I already want to read more... update soon, please!
| Reviewed By: New Fan On: May 14, 2006 15:00 PDT
Comment/Review:
Vegeta?! Okay, this is a huge shocker. In the last chapter, Kamala mentioned something about Gohan stopping by before, and that is what led me to believe that Gohan had been kinda stalking him, which in turn led me to believe Gohan had a thing for him. It would have explained why Gohan overreacted if it was out of jealousy, but now that I think about it, it didn't explain Gohan's insistence on taking care of Vegeta and his determination to keep him from Goku. Wow, what a twist. On the other hand, I'm glad Vegeta talked to Gohan, I don't think he would have listened to Goku even if he had said the same exact thing. Now, I'm left wondering whether Goku and Vegeta will find out about Gohan's feelings, and if they do, how they'll react. Goku is almost always the understanding and compassionate one, but he can be unpredictable and even violent when it comes to Vegeta. Vegeta, though he's calmed down a notch, is always violent and unpredictable, and even more so when it's about Goku. Things are getting complicated, it's great! I can't wait to read more. Update soon please!
| Reviewed By: NewFan On: May 11, 2006 23:40 PDT
Comment/Review:
Wow, and here I was hoping that Goku's and Gohan's less-than-stellar relationship will become a bit more one-big-happy-family like. Now it really doesn't seem like that will happen anytime soon. It's a bit surprising how far Gohan has gone against Goku, and it makes me wonder if it's solely due to his sense of abandonment or if there is something more to his sudden anger, perchance some enamored sentiments for a certain Saiyan starting with the letter K who is not related to him.... And, I don't think Vegeta really believed all those things he said to Gohan about Goku, seems like he was annoyed more than anything. At least Kamala is okay, though now I'm worried about the baby... isn't there any time when noone is in any danger whatsoever? I can't help but feel bad for Goku, he only wants to help everyone and make sure they are all happy, and instead they all turn against him. That's just sad. Hopefully, that won't last long, it's hard to watch Goku not being his normal happy-go-lucky self. Needless to say, I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter, keep up the great work!
| Title: 0_0 wow...
Reviewed By: dishgurl On: May 08, 2006 05:15 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
you were right... i liked it. I can't wait to read what Gohan had been visiting the Sayians over... I read in your other fanfiction "Come Together" your little intro to this story. I was curiouse as to why it took Vegeta and Goku a while to use the Dragonballs to revive Ahrae. Acording to that, he had what... a month left in his pregnancy, and at the moment he's where... month five? Now I can see why...kind of... Vegeta doesn't wanna be near Goku at the curent moment... XD I was also curiouse about the "spies" in Capsule Corp. Will they come help Vegeta when it gets down to his time? If Raavens? Or will it be a clueless Bulma or Ahrae to help? I can't wait to read your next chapters... ^_^
| Title: Chapter 19
Reviewed By: Plyric [MediaMiner Member] On: May 06, 2006 13:41 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG! CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will SO hunt you down if you don't update this story seriously quick after THAT WILD ROLLERCOASTER of a cliffhanger!!! FANTASTIC, UPDATE VERY VERY VERY SOON PLEASE!!!!!
| Title: Wow
Reviewed By: Frozenflower (notloggedin) On: April 25, 2006 08:30 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow. You're an incredibly creative author. First off, commenting on a previous comment in your author's notes, let me say that your English grammar is better than that of 90% of native English speakers. There are some characteristic grammatical patterns that indelibly mark you as a non-native speaker, and your reviewers should be smart enough to pick up on that and make allowances. Even given those markers, your sentences have a very easy flow to them, and in conversational speech, they would likely not even be noticed. I hate it when people pick on grammar like yours--you have an incredible grasp of everything from word usage to colloquialisms. It's so hard to find people who actually use words correctly, much less with nuance, that it just pisses me off that someone dared to comment on your grammar. Now, on to the actual gut of the story: you say that this is your least favorite of these three fics, but I must tell you that it is MY MOST favorite! You've got a delightful sense of humor and I enjoy the progression in the characters that you have developed. Not to mention the hot lemon scenes, ayayaya! Usually I avoid stories with original characters like the plague, because they are either incredibly cliched cardboard cutouts or terribly developed, or both, but (shock of shocks!) I actually enjoy reading your scenes with original characters. Usually I just skip over them and if they become too intrusive into the story line, I stop reading that particular story, but I find myself very interested and involved with all of your original characters! I have my own ideas as to what will happen/where this is going/what I HOPE will happen, but I won't speculate here =) I'd rather see if my predictions come true. The only thing I'm NOT happy about, is that you haven't updated in awhile! I guess I can understand why. Your story isn't getting nearly the attention it deserves, and based on the responses that you've posted to some of your reviews, not nearly the praise it deserves! I very much hope to see another chapter from you sometime soon, as I enjoy your story very much. By the way, out of curiousity, what is your original language? Something in the Germanic area? Just interested! I know that I've studied two languages aside from my native tongue (English) and there is no way I could write as competently in either of them as you do in English, even though I've studied for 8 and 3 years respectively. Anyway, I hope to see a new chapter from you soon, if you have an update list, please add me to it! gravitations@gmail.com Thanks so much for your story! Frozenflower
| Reviewed By: Oceanu On: April 22, 2006 01:41 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I recently read to hell together, the one after it, then i ended up reading inner circle i think it was called, and now this strange how on two different stories you added Reevan and Kalama, anyways I loved your fics up until now BUT...from all the GokuXKalama pairing going around I feel like reading a story based on that XD I i was praticaly cheering in my mind when Goku kissed Kalama and I would like to ask.....could you make 1 story based on them as main pairing? I know tat you revolve around VagetaXGoku and all but 1 story wouldnt hurt, and since thiss tory you cant go that way with it maybe if you feel up to it you could write another? the reason is I love your style of writing and especialy liked the story with Arhea and the fire clan, but sinse inner cirlce and now this....I grown attached to the GokuXKalama pairing XD I mean jsut recently that i was actualy able to visualize Kalama after 2 days of trying while reading.... well hope your up to the 'challange' , and if you are then..TY XD well anyways keep up with the good work and continue on with the fic p.s: btw from the hints you been giving form btoh stories I see that you also are fond of the idea of this pairing, right?
| Reviewed By: NewFan On: March 26, 2006 22:10 PST
Comment/Review:
This chapter is just full of drunken goodness! I couldn't stop laughing when Yamcha called Vegeta a "mom", sometimes it seems like he's begging for Vegeta to kill him. Drunk people say the darndest things (brings back memories....) It's kind of saddening to learn that Gohan and Goku's relationship is less than stellar, especially since Goku is so dedicated to his family, so hopefully Goku will find a way to repair the rift, which isn't too doubtful after taking into account the fact that he was able to do that with Vegeta. And then there's Kamala... wow. Maybe he should have thought twice about sparring with Goku while he was in heat, really wasn't the smartest thing to do. I wonder what solution Goku will come up with, or if he will just completely disregard the incident, though that doesn't seem like him, considering his fixation-bordering-on-obsession to seeing everyone around him happy. I just realized what a scary Saiyan Raaven is, one wouldn't expect that from such a meek-looking individual. For what it's worth, I hope Kamala doesn't die, it would just be too upsetting for him to go on such a sad note. Well, I'm really looking forward to the next update (this chapter ended so abruptly!) and in the meantime I'll be obsessing over Kamala's fate... cliffhangers are the devil! J/k. Anyway, keep up the good work!
| Reviewed By: RowinaDequina16 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 19, 2006 14:50 PST
Comment/Review:
Wow, two chapters to catch up! Weee! I really liked chapter 17--too much fun, and that always goes good with a juicy lemon. Laughter and sex--great combo. I love V teasing Y about getting off listening in on him and G. I can see Y thinking fondly back on those moments--eavesdropping can be such fun, even if it's unintentional. He probably thinks about that a lot, actually. *grins* Chapter 18 was fun, too, of course, but what a cliffhanger! Poor Kamala--unrequited love/lust feels horrible. And he's stuck with a mate he doesn't love. I want for both of them to come out of this better off, but I'm kinda nervous...sitting here on the edge of my seat. :-)
| Reviewed By: dishgurl On: March 19, 2006 13:17 PST
Comment/Review:
WHOOOWHOOO! ^_^ Another great chapter (18) I was kinda expecting this kind of comfrintation between the Saiyans. POor Vegeta and his little pains. 8*(. I love your story ^_^ keep up the rgeat work, because i check back often, even if i don't always review.
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