| User Name: | Andartha |
| Name/Nick: | Julia Heiler |
| Last Visited On: | Mar. 16th, 2011, 00:27:19, PDT |
| Registered On: | May 05, 2005 |
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| Homepage: | n/a |
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| Yahoo Handle: | n/a |
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| Biography: | Who am I? Sheesh, they sure don't believe in asking the easy ones around here...
I've decided to go on a bit of a philosophical, introspective ramble for this one. Anybody not into that kind of stuff, please feel free to read the stories featured here, they're more fun (and the reason I'm writing this anyway).
So you’ve decided to read on. You really want me to tell you who I am? I'll give it a try then. I'm somebody who has (nearly) everything they could wish for: A few good friends, a roof over my head, food on my table, the occasional bit of luxury and a good work-life balance. The only things that keep bugging me are my tendency to procrastinate and the fact that I'm still searching for my purpose in life (though I do have a few ideas on the subject).
Concerning life, I feel that it can be very difficult at times, especially if you stop and think it over once in a while. As a consequence, I believe that there's no point in going around and making life harder (on yourself or others). Still, I witness myself and others going around making things worse all the time, which is strange but, in an odd kind of way, also understandable. Humans can be such contradictory and complicated creatures. Part of our charm I guess.
On some rare occasions, there are days where I feel a bit broken inside and a little hollow. Days where I lose hope and purpose. Days where I am overwhelmed by life’s challenges and where I can hardly move anymore because I don’t have the strength. But I can live through these days. I can always find strength, hope and purpose again, pretty much like I find my car-keys when I have temporarily misplaced them. I think that’s a pretty nifty ability.
Sometimes I revel in a bit of darkness (mainly in the form of stories, music and clothing), because I feel that in doing so I pay homage to life as it is: a thing of beauty and sweetness, but also of pain and bitterness. It makes me feel as if I’m being more honest to myself. So many people try to keep darkness, no matter what form it takes, out of their lives. I don't think that's healthy. (Maybe they do this because they believe that anything dark is also automatically evil? It isn't, at least not in my book.)
I feel that if a human being tries to deny the existence of its shadow, it ceases to be human.
I believe that loving your shadow and accepting it as part of who and what you are is the only way to heal the hurt and the brokenness most of us carry around with themselves.
For me, “evil” means to be devoid of hope, love and trust.
For me, the source of all evil is fear.
Out of fear, people will go to absurd lengths in order to protect themselves.
They will grab all they can because they are afraid that otherwise there won't be enough for them.
They are ready to hurt others so they won't be hurt themselves.
Consequently, courage and the principle of "non-attachment" appeal to me quite a lot. “Non-attachment” is good, because if you don't have anything to lose, then there's no need to be afraid.
The first thing I detached from was the illusion that this world is perfect, let alone fair. Sometimes, things simply don’t work out and sometimes, the princess doesn’t marry the prince (she might opt for the dragon instead though).
The lack of fairness and perfection sometimes bugs the hell out of me, but then, it also gives me some options I wouldn’t have otherwise.
If the world isn't perfect, then it's o.k. for me not to be perfect either. I can love and accept myself the way I am, which enables me to love and accept other people the way they are. Being able to love and accept other people is a fantastic gift that makes not being perfect well worth my while.
If the world isn’t fair, then at least I can strive for fairness in my dealings with other people. And that fairness isn’t something I’ve been forced into. It’s my own choice. Fairness and friendliness in dealing with other people become more valuable as they’re given freely, and with an open heart.
Even if I sometimes struggle with the difficulties of being a frail, fallible and sentient being in a world full of imperfection, I still strive to keep improving myself, to enjoy every minute of my life, simply because I am filled with an insatiable hunger to be the best I can be. I take pleasure in discovering my limits and expanding them. Why restrict myself when there’s so much to see, to hear, to feel?
I believe that the world was made to be appreciated in all its glory. And I do.
I touch and I am touched.
I share my joy of life and the beautiful things I discover along the way.
I want to make others happy and content, because their happiness will spread and reflect on those around them (which, incidentally, includes me *grins*).
Life can be tough, but I wouldn’t want to miss it. It’s so amazing and diverse and full of opportunities for adventure. Fun too. ; )
Well, apart from being prone to philosophical ramblings, I'm also an avid reader, a haphazard writer and a certified hedonist.
My favourite quotes include:
"Learn to live with it, because the only other option is to roll over and die."
"Often it takes more courage to change your opinion than to stick with it"
"Life’s to short to be afraid." and
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to be loved and love in return."
I wish all of you the very best. Wind to your wings, shade and sweet water in the desert-heat and someone to warm your bed-furs when it is cold.
With love and a *hug*
Andartha |
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