Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Cop Story ❯ Say Cheese, Please ( Chapter 17 )

Disclaimer : I don't own them, just this particular story. And now, on with the show…

A Cop Story

Part Seventeen

By RM

Say Cheese, Please

"I don't friggin' believe this!"

"Shut your cry hole!"

"Look at me!"

"Why should I? I see your ugly mug almost everyday."

"They expect me to wear this?"

"I have to wear this!"

"You're always prancing around in tight pants!"

"YOU GOT ME INTO THIS MESS!"

"Children!" Zarbon scolded, "do I have to separate you two?"

Piccolo and Vegeta glared at the oddly colored officer as he fixed his hair into a loose braid. Vegeta recovered quickly with a barb below the belt as he smirked.

"You look like a cream puff, Zarbon. Excuse me. I must go find Raditz." Vegeta made sure to pronounce the other Saiyan's name clearly, watching Zarbon wince.

A few of the other officers from different precincts watched Vegeta storm off in his underwear, hair trailing behind him. It wasn't a very large studio, but it still took him a few minutes to find the other two men.

"Vegeta?!" Goku exclaimed as he caught sight of his friend. "Is that you?"

Raditz smirked at the shorter man. "What happened to your hair? You look almost sexy."

"Yes, it is me Kakarott. And you," he aimed a murderous glare at Raditz, "don't even."

The trio looked on as a flurry of people hurried back and forth trying to prepare the chosen officers for the photo shoot. Each officer had been designated a month and an outfit to wear. Goku and Raditz were an exception. When Launch had learned that they were brothers, she insisted they pose together for the month of May. Vegeta had been assigned October, which meant he'd be there for a while since they were trying to shoot in order. They had requested that he arrive early so they could relax his hair, which only served to agitate the rest of him.

"Hey, watch it!" A familiar voice complained from behind one of the wall separations nearby. It was a voice whose accent was often mistaken for some kind of Brit.

"Vegeta?" Goku questioned innocently. "Were we planning on going out for a few drinks after this?"

Vegeta gave a slight nod as he stood feet apart and arms folded across his chest.

"Is the Jiisu rule still in effect?" Goku eyed the wall separation as Raditz followed his train of thought and snickered.

"The rule is always in effect," Vegeta stated coolly.

Goku nodded and rubbed his hands together, making sure to crack his knuckles before walking off. He rounded the corner to see two women working on Jiisu's long white hair, feathering and spraying. He was dressed in a tight biking uniform with a smug smile plastered on his face.

"Hey! Long time no see!" Goku greeted the other officer. "I see they have you doing the whole bicycle cop routine."

Jiisu rolled his eyes at Goku while the women continued primping him for the shoot. "And just what are you supposed to be? An undercover bum?" Jiisu asked Goku rather icily, commenting on the loose sweat pants and T-shirt the other man was wearing.

"Naw," Goku half chuckled, "Raditz and I are going to be motorcycle cops. I'm just not looking forward to those tight pants." He confessed.

Jiisu snorted.

"You're not looking half bad," Goku stated as he squeezed Jiisu's biceps. "Have you been working out?" He asked, pinching the skin a little harder than necessary, eliciting a slight yelp from the arm's owner.

Jiisu growled at Goku, who managed to keep that innocent grin on his face.

"Well, good luck out there!" Goku remarked as he made a hasty retreat. That little pinch would leave a nice welt. That was one round of drinks Vegeta owed them so far.

*****

"Thanks for helping out ladies." Chi Chi thanked Bulma and #18. They had spent all morning at the restaurant helping Chi Chi make small dishes and other treats to take to the officers at the photo shoot. She had offered to cater the event for free, and had also convinced a few of the other neighboring establishments to do the same. She was the Commissioner's daughter, after all, and she felt it was important to support the CPD fundraising events. Besides, she did have a personal stake in it this time. She was dating one of the `beefcakes'. One could never be too careful.

"Thanks for letting me help Chi," Bulma replied. Truth was, she needed all of the help she could get when it came to cooking instructions and pointers. While she wasn't the world's worst cook, she wasn't exactly the greatest. It was something she needed to work on.

"The two of you are pathetic." #18 stated flatly. "You're just using this as an excuse to go and gawk at the men today."

"Oh really?" Chi Chi questioned. "And I suppose you have no intention of going?"

"No," #18 shook her head. "I was going to go anyway. But at least I didn't have to come up with an excuse to go."

Bulma laughed. She was glad to see that she wasn't the only one of the group that liked to ogle men.

"Well, if we are ready to go, just let me duck into the restroom so I can change." Bulma said, indicating her Sunday attire.

"What's wrong with jeans and your sweatshirt?" Chi Chi asked.

It was #18's turn to laugh now. "Chi Chi. The studio is used year round for modeling purposes. Would you want to look frumpy when your man is surrounded by tall, skinny, beautiful women?"

Chi Chi thought about #18's statement as Bulma nodded an agreement with the blonde. As she loaded and packed the last of the capsules full of delicious food, she looked a little worried. Bulma ran her fingers through her long hair and grabbed her purse, opening and rummaging through it, pulling out a small capsule of her own which was packed with suitable clothing for an event of this magnitude.

"Do you have anything in there that would fit me?" She asked.

*****

Zarbon was having a blast while Yamcha `hrmed' nervously. They each had several professionals fussing over them, as they were the first ones to pose. Zarbon had been assigned to the month of January, wearing a pair of tight, white pants, the first few buttons up the front undone. He also wore a short, white, puffy coat to which his badge was pinned. It was open in the front and he wore no shirt. All in all, he figured he looked pretty good judging on the looks he was receiving from some of the ladies walking in and out of the studio.

Yamcha on the other hand, felt like a fool. Sure, he knew he was cute, but he didn't think he would ever dress like this on his own. They had him in his dress uniform, shirt all disheveled, opened down the front and his hat cocked to the side. They even went so far as to grease his chest so that he would glisten in front of the camera. He vowed that when the day was over, and they could finally go out for some drinks, he was going to kill Tien for talking him into this.

"Gee Yamcha," Launch bubbled, "you look great! Have you seen Lieutenant Tien?" She blinked innocently, slightly blushing as she asked the question.

"Ah," Yamcha replied trying to look over the heads of the people around him, fixing his hair and his pants, "I thought I saw him earlier over near dressing room number 3."

"Thanks sweetie!" Launch happily chirped and walked off, running into a very angry Namek. "Oh hello!" She gushed. "You look great!" She eyed Piccolo. He had been given March and was forced to wander about the studio wearing a pair of baggy pants and suspenders with no shirt, and a tie he considered hideous slung over his shoulder for the time being.

He mumbled and pushed past the dark haired woman, seeking refuge in some corner until he could have his picture taken and then go back to his self appointed stakeout at the pizzeria. On his way past one of the hair stations he bumped into the photographer's assistant, a tall, young woman whose name he didn't catch and didn't particularly want to know.

"Hi." She winked at him as he tried to slip past.

He grunted and continued on his way as she turned to watch him go, but not before patting him on his behind. He began to walk faster. He was not in the mood for this.

*****

"It was all your fault!" He accused his partner, throwing a huge glob of dough that sailed through the air and hit the wall as the other man ducked.

"Me? It was your damn recipe!"

"It was my father's recipe, which you embellished somehow!"

"It needed help! And besides, you OK'd everything I put in it!"

"You know I can't cook!" Garlic Jr. yelled angrily, throwing another chunk of dough, which again missed Pilaf and hit the wall with a loud thud, sticking fast.

"That's the only point I can see fit to agree on with you!" Pilaf retorted. "We have the addiction going fine! We just need a little more time to work on the control agent!"

"You fool! We are almost out of time!" Garlic snarled, hurling a ladle of sauce towards his head pizza chef.

"Nonsense!" Pilaf shouted back as a generous blob of sauce hit him square in the face, covering his eyes and nose, and filling his gaping mouth. He sputtered and spit, jumping up and down in a rage, grabbing a handful of tomatoes and hurling them towards where Garlic Jr. was last seen.

"Ha! Missed me!" The target hooted in triumph. The sound of something splatting against the wall resounded throughout the kitchen.

Now in a blind rage, mostly since he couldn't see, and also because he was angry, Pilaf jumped up and rushed what he suspected to be Garlic Jr.'s position following the sound of his laughter. He had enough of his partner's snotty comments to last a lifetime. Or maybe until he could hit him a few times.

Garlic Jr. clutched his sides in a fit of laughter when he was tackled from the side and flipped over a table covered in dough and cheese. Lettuce and cold cuts flew into the air as they rolled about on the long counter where food was prepared. Luckily, they were the only ones in the back kitchen area. A nervous head ducked around the corner where the front counter was located as one of Garlic Jr.'s men checked to see what all the fuss was about. He gave a little chuckle at the sight of the two little bosses rolling around, covered in food, trying to strangle each other. He looked towards the window and then back at the clock. Those two had better end it soon, otherwise they would never have time to recover before the lunchtime rush.

*****

"The tongue goes in the mouth soldier."

Raditz closed his mouth with an audible snap. He couldn't believe how alluring the little sex kitten looked today.

"She is quite a little piece, isn't she?" Vegeta commented, watching one of the models standing near a full-length mirror at one of the shoots going on across the way. She noticed the handsome and quite muscular men looking in her direction and blew them a kiss, winking. Raditz snickered and grabbed Vegeta's chin, forcing his gaze a bit to the left of the hallway, pointing Vegeta in the direction he had been looking when the Saiyan prince had caught him drooling. Vegeta growled at the larger man's treatment of his royal flesh. But when he caught sight of the object of Raditz's lust, he faltered, losing his balance.

"Oh you would!" Vegeta nearly spat.

"Bulma's got a much better body than that model, Vegeta." Goku responded to Vegeta's comment about the beautiful woman. "She's prettier, has more curves, and her boobs are much bigger."

Vegeta instantly responded to Goku's statement by grabbing his throat and squeezing, snarling at the younger Saiyan.

"You've been making eyes at MY WOMAN?" Vegeta snapped. His eyes flashed with anger as the ground began to shake. Little bolts and swirls of energy sizzled and crackled around his body as his aura began to glow. Raditz was familiar with the phenomenon of Saiyan mating, and was quick to respond.

"Knock it off!" He put Vegeta in a full nelson quickly, causing the chokehold on his brother to ease. Vegeta stopped his power up, but not his assault. He threw his head back smashing into Raditz's forehead, then jerked forward smacking Goku in the nose with a crack. Raditz dropped Vegeta and rubbed his head. Vegeta landed with a thud and spit on the floor, still growling at Goku, fists clenched. The whole attack happened so fast that there were very few people present trained enough to detect what had just transpired.

"Stay away from my woman, fuckhole." Vegeta warned.

"Calm down. I was only stating fact!" Goku said as he rubbed his nose and forehead. Vegeta hadn't really hit them hard, he had just surprised them. "Do you honestly think that she's better looking than Bulma?"

Both Raditz and Vegeta shot Goku a warning glance, but Vegeta finally sighed and shook his head.

"I was only talking, Kakarott. I did not say I wanted to fuck her." He glanced back at the model he'd been looking at. He had said the statement more for Raditz's benefit, knowing his taste in women. But the idiot was right of course. Bulma was better looking and had a better figure. He smirked as he thought about his saucy little minx, how she smelled, how she tasted, and how she squirmed, pressing her body against his and those soft, milky…

"Hi boys," a familiar female voice intoned behind them. "The food is over there, if you're interested." #18 came to a stop behind them, one hand on her hip. She cocked her eyebrow as she noticed Vegeta's soft hair trailing down his back. She reached her hand out and ran it through the silky strands. Vegeta stepped back when he felt her hand slip through his hair and growled.

"Fuck you. Fuck you. And fuck you!" He spat and stormed off once again.

Goku chuckled and Raditz smirked.

"Looks like he's in a good mood today." #18 smiled as she watched him go. "And I was just about to tell him that he looked cute."

"Um, excuse me gentlemen?" A woman walked up behind Goku holding a clipboard. "We are just about ready for you to try on your outfits, and put you in for make-up."

"Make-up?" Goku asked as Raditz winked at the blonde officer.

"C'mon little brother. Let's get you into those pants."

The assistant with the clipboard smiled and blushed at Goku's indignant look, following the two men towards the dressing rooms. #18 stood for a few moments, looking around at her fellow police officers, most of whom she outranked, before moving off to get a better view of Mr. April, one of the men from a neighboring precinct. Even though she was in a serious relationship with Krillin, it didn't mean she couldn't do some window-shopping.

*****

"Well hello Chi Chi," Zarbon smiled as he stepped off of the platform, having finished his session.

"Lieutenant Zarbon," Chi Chi smiled back. "How nice it is to see you."

"My that's a lovely dress." He commented on the short, silk, burgundy dress she borrowed from Bulma. It was actually more of a summer dress, but it was quite warm in the studio, as they knew it would be. And it was still quite a formal looking dress.

"Why thank you. You always say such sweet things." She batted her eyelashes. She actually never felt very comfortable around the officer, but he knew her father quite well and he was the mayor's personal bodyguard, so she got the feeling that the man could be trusted somewhat. "I brought some things for you all to munch on. I hope you try some, and enjoy yourself." She finished as she excused herself in search of Bulma. She felt a bit out of place as she wandered about passing very nicely put together, half-naked officers and some very tall, very pretty women wearing practically nothing. She was glad Bulma had a dress that fit her, and that it was a little more daring than anything she herself owned. She turned her head catching sight of one of the hairdressers fussing over one of the models when she walked into something.

"You should…oh, hello Chi Chi." Raditz smiled down at her.

She tilted her head back and looked nervously up at him. She had met Goku's older brother only once before. She liked him, but he was just so tall and so broad that he made her a little uneasy.

Raditz was already stuffed into the outfit he was to wear. Very tight pants that left little to the imagination and a very flimsy T-shirt stretched to capacity over his well-developed chest, the short sleeves practically ready to burst around his impressive biceps. A pair of tall, leather boots finished his outfit, as well as his side arm and a dark pair of sunglasses. Chi Chi's nervousness intensified when she felt his hand on her back, moving her to stand in front of him.

"Just watch that door sweetie," he stated quietly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as she stood with her back to him.

The door shook a few times as whoever was behind it twisted the knob this way and that. When the door finally swung open, it revealed a rather perplexed Goku, decked out in an outfit similar to his brother's, minus the sunglasses. He moved stiffly from the dressing room and to the mirror where the assistant with the clipboard was directing him. He hadn't yet caught sight of Chi Chi.

"Man! These things are creeping up the crack of my ass!" He protested. "How am I supposed to move in these things?"

"You're not supposed to move much," the assistant informed him, checking him out from behind her clipboard. "You're supposed to allow us to drool over you." She finished up with a wink and a giggle.

"Kakarott," Raditz chuckled behind Chi Chi, "I have purged whole planets in little more than a jock strap and a pair of wrist bands."

Chi Chi noticed that his comment produced a rather odd look from the assistant and a frustrated growl from Goku.

"I feel like an ass pirate…" Goku trailed off as he saw Chi Chi standing in front of his brother, her body pressed up against his, wearing a short and revealing dark, red dress. He frowned as he took in their position, flashing his brother a warning glare, but just as suddenly broke into a smile aimed at his Chi Chi.

"Oh, hi Chi!" He gave a nervous little chuckle as he greeted her. "Didn't see you there. Does this mean the food is here?"

She smiled back at him and nodded while the assistant pulled at Goku's hand and made him sit down, smearing a bit of dark grease onto his cheek. He eyed her cautiously, wondering just what she was up to.

"Gives it more of that road feel." She giggled at him.

Chi Chi was not happy with the way the other woman was getting giggly with her Goku. She broke Raditz's hold on her and strolled up to the chair her beefcake occupied. She leaned into him and combed her hands through his unruly hair as he smiled up at her.

"You look very enticing Goku," she cooed just before she kissed him.

He didn't want her to end that kiss. When she began to pull away from his lips he gave chase, pulling her back to him with his hands. When she finally did manage to pull away, there were more than a few people staring.

"Mmmmm," he mumbled, "fried pork dumplings. You've been busy this morning."

She giggled. He certainly knew his food.

*****

"You are the most delicious thing I have ever seen on two legs," she stated as he rounded the corner, trying to get his things together so he could leave. They had allowed him off of the platform and replaced him with Goku and Raditz who were currently under the onslaught of the overzealous photographer. He found something akin to bile rise in his throat as he tried to get around the tall model leaning up against the wall, blocking his retreat.

"It's not easy being green, is it?" She asked him this time, trying to get his attention, or just an answer. He gave her a sideways glance as he buttoned his shirt and fixed his tie. A tie that he picked out himself before he left for the office.

"The strong, silent type, eh?" She asked him again. He hadn't said a word to her, but she wasn't about to give up yet. As he tried to move around her, she blocked his exit with her leg, resting her toes on the opposite wall, pinning him in a corner. He looked down at the so-called roadblock, getting angry with the annoying human female.

"Is this the don't call me, I'll call you?" She questioned this time, knowing full well that she was getting to him.

He made a strangled protest in his throat. He really needed to get out of there to relieve #17 from the stakeout on that pizzeria. It wasn't that he didn't trust #17 to do a good job, but Piccolo was the type of individual who believed that to have something done right, one had to do it themselves.

"Am I getting the silent treatment?" The tall redhead stated again. She threw her head back, exposing her long, graceful neck. Her hair was styled to fall wildly about her shoulders.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed her leg and shoved it back down to the floor. She practically smirked at him when he made contact with her skin. He was beginning to lose his cool and she seemed to know it.

"Woman, I am asexual!" He huffed as he sped by her.

"I can live with that!" She practically whined. "Nobody's perfect!" She trailed closely behind his rapidly retreating figure. If she was quick enough, she might be able to get his number.

*****

Jiisu was in front of the camera smiling broadly in a pose that could make #16 laugh with real enthusiasm when Vegeta strutted behind the photographers on his way to the goody table. He was pissed. He had missed any semblance of a proper lunch and to make matters worse, they were only as far as June on the photo schedule. He'd have to wait another 4 months, and that could take hours. Especially with that self centered little lobster on the pedestal.

He approached the spread on the table, making faces and sniffing carefully at all of the various dishes that had been prepared. To his amazement everything looked and smelled pretty good.

"Hey Vegeta," Yamcha greeted his fellow officer. "I see you're still wandering around in your undies." He chuckled as Vegeta's only acknowledgement was a grunt. "Try those scallion things, they're really good."

Vegeta sniffed at the tray Yamcha had indicated and was about to pick one of the treats up when he caught sight of a flash of blue from the corner of his eye. When he turned his head he caught sight of her, looking as desirable as ever in a pair of tight, stretchy pants and a casual, low cut sweater. In a way, he couldn't understand how she could be in a room with a bunch of beautiful women in nothing but her casual weekend clothing, and still be the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. But she was his woman after all. It was only fitting.

She shrugged and giggled at the officer's comment when she felt his eyes on her. She had been looking for Vegeta for the last hour and had been trapped into a long and drawn out conversation with one of the men from the Central precinct she had met at one of the meetings when she couldn't find him. Her eyes widened as she watched him walk slowly towards them, noticing for the first time the scars criss-crossing his tanned flesh under the open shirt he wore. Even though she had seen him without his clothes on before, she had never seen him naked with the lights on. She knew from Goku's story about what Saiyan's were and where they came from that Vegeta hadn't had the nicest of upbringings. Her heart began to beat wildly and almost ached at the thought of someone going through everything that he had in his lifetime, but in the same moment she felt that all of those factors had made Vegeta everything that he currently was. It was all a huge turn on.

And that was when she noticed his hair. Instead of its usual upswept stiff spikiness, it hung down just past his shoulders, soft and even. She smiled coyly, and glanced down at the floor while the officer she was chatting with prattled on.

"Zarbon is looking for you, officer." Vegeta informed the other man as he walked up to the pair. "He said he was going to kick your ass in about 5 minutes."

The officer stopped his one sided conversation and paled slightly at the news, excusing himself quickly. Bulma watched him go as Vegeta grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a secluded corner separated from the busy section of the studio by a wall divider.

"Well hello there officer," she whispered into his ear as he pressed his body against hers, taking her into his arms. She reached around his neck and tangled both of her hands in his hair, wondering at its soft feel.

"Woman," was all he breathed as his lips descended upon her neck, kissing and licking, her perfume sweet and erotically appealing.

She wrapped one of her legs around his waist, holding him close as he nibbled at her flesh all the while running her hands through his hair. She couldn't believe how different he looked with his hair down. She thought he looked sexy with his hair down and manageable, even though she preferred it the other way. And since he appeared to be in an agreeable mood, she thought she would bring up that little issue they had discussed earlier in the week.

She leaned back trying to elude his fiery kisses for a moment only to find that he followed her down onto a small counter he had backed her into. She lay there on her back with him balanced on all fours over her, now both of her legs wrapped around him. He smirked down at her lust filled expression as the sounds of the busy studio clamored around them.

"Nice ass, Vegeta." A voice sounded from the divider's opening. He had caught sight of the Saiyan backing some woman into the secluded little spot. Probably one of the many models wandering around the shoot who had conveniently popped in to see what was going on. He snickered as he thought about what he was going to tell Bulma.

Vegeta's head jerked up and he turned around slowly to lock gazes with one of Central's Lieutenants.

"Zarbon," he smirked as he stepped down off of the counter, and the woman he had been on top of. He offered a hand and pulled up a very flustered, and very embarrassed Bulma, her hair a bit mussed and her sweater pulled down exposing a shoulder.

Zarbon's face vaulted. He hadn't expected this. He had pegged Vegeta as the cheating type. He also hadn't known that Bulma was there. He tried to cover up his own surprise by rolling his eyes at the pair and slowly walking away, as if he had found what he had expected to find. Vegeta was about to give chase and rub the situation in when Bulma grabbed the back waistband of the snug boxer briefs he was wearing and snapped them.

"Hey," she said, still blushing with the embarrassment at getting caught. "Are you planning on going to dinner with me tomorrow to meet my folks?"

He turned around and rolled his eyes at her, crossing his arms.

"Have we not been through this already?" He questioned.

"I said I would make it worth your while," she answered, twirling a strand of blue hair as she sat on the counter. "I'll do that little French maid thing." She stated softly.

He raised an eyebrow at her tone, and also at the fact that she had begun to blush furiously at the mention of whatever she had meant. He didn't know what a French maid was, but he liked the way it sounded when she had said it. He regarded her for a moment before sighing and uncrossing his arms, holding them out for her to move into. She slid off of the counter and hugged him, sliding her hands underneath the open, button down shirt he was wearing to rub his back.

"You'd better." He informed her. "It's my day off tomorrow, you know."

"I asked you about this earlier and you never said yes or no." She accused lightly. "My father asked me to bring you over two weeks ago."

"He wanted you to bring me over two weeks ago?" He began to do the math in his head. "Woman, we weren't even official two weeks ago." He stated, referring to their first day and night together. "How did he…"

"Don't." She held her finger up to his lips and then smiled up at him broadly. She didn't think he even realized what he had just said.

They were official.

*****

"There you are, Lieutenant!" She squeaked.

Tien was very uncomfortable. Conservative by nature, he did not consider himself a very daring dresser. And the outfit that Miss Launch had stuffed him into only confirmed his suspicions. He forced himself to take deep, calming breaths as he stood in front of his arch nemesis as she `oh-ed' and `ah-ed' at his appearance. It made him feel like he had lost some kind of sick bet.

"You make such a handsome cowboy!" She squealed, clapping her hands together. He was without a doubt the handsomest man she'd ever seen, so well built and so tall. She had known exactly what she would put him in before he had even signed the forms. She had even resorted to calling him over the past two weeks to set up planning events and to remind him of his commitments, even though she knew he wouldn't forget. When Captain Roshi had brushed her off, and she KNEW he had, he had expounded on what a fine officer Lieutenant Tien was. The way he spoke, the way he dressed, even the way he drank his coffee all exuded to her a sense of reliability and trustworthiness. Mixed in with his sweetness and good looks, she rather liked that in a man.

And here he stood before her, half dressed in tanned leather. He wore tight leather pants with matching boots, and no shirt, only a leather vest onto which his badge was pinned. They had also outfitted him with a cowboy hat, complete with a gold sheriff's star across the band.

He had finally settled his breathing. He figured he would be all right. It would only take a few minutes, a half of an hour at most. What harm could come from only 30 minutes?

"Ooo, wow! That outfit is hot!" One of the make-up women commented while watching him struggle with his breathing. She grabbed a bottle of baby oil and began to walk over to him, only to be hip-checked to the side by Launch, with the bottle taken away.

"I'll do that!" She announced without trying to sound too irritated. She had plans for this one and they didn't include some other woman's hands all over him.

He grew nervous again as he saw that calculating look on Launch's face when she sauntered over to him holding that bottle. He would have bolted if he could have, but the sheer tightness of the leather pants prohibited any kind of quick moment. He was tempted to levitate himself out of there, but he rationalized that move quickly. He was desperate not crazy. There was a difference, no matter how small.

He watched her as she cupped her hand and squirted a rather large amount of oil into her palm. She placed the bottle on the counter he was standing next to and smeared it across his chest, bringing her other hand up to massage his skin with the soothing solution. Her touches were smooth and strong, the oil causing her hands to glide effortlessly over his skin. She rubbed down all of his exposed flesh, and even a few bits and pieces that were covered.

He began to focus on his breathing and meditating exercises once again, tilting his head back and doing his best not to watch her circle him as she rubbed him down. She was such a little thing, he towered over her easily, thankful for that since she wasn't tall enough to see his cheeks turn red as she continued with her attentions on his stomach and chest. He didn't have to focus for long, however, as he was pulled out of his trance by an angry snarl somewhere behind him.

"I refuse to be greased up like some kind of pig!"

"But you'll be that much hotter in front of the camera," the voice of one of the photographer's assistants protested.

"My temperature has absolutely nothing to do with this!" Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest as they tried to corner him with a bottle of the baby oil. He sneered at the offensive mixture and growled low in his throat. "Where IS that blasted Namek!"

"Piccolo went home about 2 hours ago," Goku commented as he walked behind Vegeta, not really paying attention to the other man's predicament since there was a table of food nearby.

"As soon as you're finished we can get out of here and head for something more amusing," Raditz quietly stated to Vegeta as he also passed behind him on his way to the food.

Vegeta sighed and walked over to stand on the platform they were directing him to, bypassing the oil they were intent on rubbing all over him. How dare they presume to touch him! Piccolo was as good as a dead Namek walking as far as he was concerned.

Tien decided that the best course of action was to do as the photographer asked, thereby getting out of there sooner. Most of the other officers were still hanging around, socializing and munching on the vast amount of food prepared. What he really wanted to do was get out of the studio and get a few stiff drinks. As he was directed this way and that by the rather enthusiastic photographer, he caught sight of Jiisu being pinched by #18 on his cheeks as she cooed over him. He smiled at the sight of that, earning him a squeal from the man with the camera. He just knew that #18's pinch would leave a wicked welt.

Next to him, Vegeta was fighting it every step of the way. The photographer kept telling him he was a natural, but he needed to have fun, feel like a child, be expressive. It was clear that the man knew nothing about the Saiyan prince. He was standing in front of a room full of people, in a pair of very snug fitting boxer briefs and a tiny little towel slung over his shoulder, with nothing else except his badge clipped to the waistband. While the other true Saiyans didn't seem to mind prancing around like flesh fairies, Vegeta was of a royal bloodline, and never stooped to wander about showing skin. And while he wasn't ashamed of his body, far from it, he resented the fact that the man standing in front of him, a little twig he could break into five pieces with one well aimed snot-rocket, was telling him to have fun and make love to a camera?

"Blow me," he ground out through clenched teeth as the photographer got too close. Vegeta refused to move an inch from his position. He stood as he always stood. Arms across his chest, feet apart, nose in the air and scowling. If they wanted him on film, this was how they would get him.

What he didn't count on was the woman positioning herself in his line of vision. The photographer was about to let him go after snapping enough shots to make him relatively happy when the grim man's expression cracked into a wicked smirk. Without hesitation, he snapped several photos of the priceless expression before Vegeta even had a chance to realize what had happened.

She was bent over, rump jutting out into the air and wiggling as she struggled with some large dish she was trying to encapsulate. All cognitive processes ceased for him as he watched her sway to and fro. He didn't even hear the photographer dismiss him until he repeated himself for the third time.

Tien, who had caught the whole thing, laughed all the way to the dressing room. Unfortunately, Vegeta caught onto the object of Tien's amusement rather quickly, and countered with a move of his own after the taller man disappeared into his dressing room.

"Miss Launch," Vegeta tried his best not to sound annoyed as he approached the carefree brunette, "you will join us for drinks after the session ends?" He somehow managed to make it sound more like an order than an invitation.

She hesitantly looked Vegeta over before turning her head slightly to look in the direction of Tien's dressing room. "All of you?" She asked meekly.

Vegeta nodded. "Oh yes. All of us."

*****

It was a rather large table placed in the corner next to the bar. The place was smoky and about to get louder in another couple of minutes as a blues band was setting up in the far corner towards the front. It was a good sized establishment and people were thankful for that, seeing that all of the officers from the photo session managed to make it, along with a few people whose shift just ended. There were a lot of other people there too, mostly for the band, and although it wasn't the gang's usual hangout, they were handling themselves well.

The waitress eyed the group at the table nervously as she came over to clear another few rounds worth of bottles and glasses from the table. Raditz winked and smiled every time she made a pass and Nappa, who also managed to tear himself away from work for the night, ordered the next few rounds. Vegeta and Goku sat next to each other at the table, drinking quite heavily. At the moment, they were laughing and grabbing each others shoulders for support, reminiscing about all of the times they had beaten each other senseless. Next to them sat Krillin and #17 who were watching one of the many large television screens showing the latest football game, debating on who would win. Tien sat at the bar, guzzling down drinks with Puar, who was starting to float around erratically. #16 sat quietly next to Tien, very rigid and unsmiling, but overall enjoying himself, even if he didn't show it. The girls were playing darts with Yamcha giving pointers, Bulma and #18 against Chi Chi and Launch. None of them were very good, despite the fact that they all had been drinking. Over at one of the pool tables stood Jiisu and Zarbon. Several young ladies at the bar were giggling and waving to the pair as they played, Zarbon taking the aloof approach and smiling smugly as he tried to ignore their cat calls and obvious interest, and Jiisu buckling under the scrutiny.

After a short while, both #17 and Krillin excused themselves from the corner table to mingle with a few of the other officers from another precinct, leaving the four heavily drinking Saiyans all alone.

"…the look on your face was priceless!"

"Yeah! I almost lost my eye!" Goku howled with laughter.

"Ah, those were the days," Vegeta sighed and downed another beer.

None of them were really drunk which was why they were still drinking. A few giggles drifted their way from the dartboard and all four of them turned their heads to see what was going on. Chi Chi had dropped her darts and was trying to bend over to pick them up, seemingly forgetting that she was wearing a short dress. Raditz snickered while Vegeta smirked. Nappa licked his lips and shifted in his seat as Goku's mouth dropped open only to snap shut when he realized that Nappa was making eyes at her. His eyes narrowed into slits and he breathed low, growling out a choice Saiyan slur. Raditz spit his drink clear across the table at his brother's heated remark and Vegeta laughed so hard he fell clear off of his seat. Goku ignored them as he concentrated his anger on Nappa, ready to tackle the much larger man. Raditz, who by this time was beginning to feel like the referee for the mating game, elbowed Goku in the ribs quite hard, forcing a grunt from his brother. Goku calmed down quickly, but kept his death glare on Nappa, who rolled his eyes and excused himself to go and speak with #16 at the bar.

Vegeta was still on the floor when Chi Chi stepped over him and reached for her purse, taking out some change while giggling.

"I have to go and make a phone call," she stated as she pinched Goku's cheek and walked off in the direction of the phone booth.

Goku gave Vegeta a curious look as he pulled himself up and back into his seat. "It wasn't that funny," he said testily as Bulma sauntered up to the table and reached for a fresh beer. She shot the guys a seductive smile and then proceeded to jiggle her way back to the dartboard in her form fitting pants.

"Kakarott," Vegeta stated rather incredulously, finally tearing his gaze away from the blue haired woman, "Your woman is half drunk, wearing that short and flimsy garment in a small room…"

"Box," Raditz interrupted.

"…box…" Vegeta rolled his eyes and continued, "All by herself and out of sight from the rest of the bar." He finished as Goku blinked at him. "What are you waiting for?"

Goku hesitantly turned to look towards the back hallway where Chi Chi had gone.

"If that were my woman she wouldn't be alone." Vegeta smirked, then downed another beer.

Goku looked from Vegeta to Raditz, back to Vegeta to the hallway. He then stood up, fixed his pants with a grin, and proceeded towards the dimly lit hallway where the phone booth was located. The bar was pretty crowded by this time on a Saturday night but the back hall was filled with only a few people who were standing around chitchatting and drinking. He was a little nervous as he walked up to the frosted glass of the phone booth door. His nervousness was soon replaced by his growing excitement at what he was about to do.

He opened the door.

"…sorry about that. Just leave the order sheets on my desk. Did that delivery ever show up?" She spoke into the phone carefully, trying not to slur. She had been drinking most of the night when she suddenly remembered to call her manager at the restaurant.

"OK…then I…no…" she heard the door open behind her and felt someone enter the small booth. She turned around slowly in the little bit of space she had to see Goku grinning down at her. Her mouth dropped open and she was unable to speak when she recognized the mischievous glint in his eyes. She didn't utter a word as he took the phone from her hand and hung it up.

Her heart pounded in her chest and the blood rushed to her ears when he placed his hands on her hips, pushing her up against the wall, pressing his body to hers.

"Did I tell you how absolutely breathtaking you look today?" He mumbled against her cheek.

She giggled while he nibbled on her earlobe, running her fingers over his stomach under the loose T-shirt he was wearing. She was a bit dizzy from the liquor before he even started his assault on her senses, but when he brought his mouth down for a heated kiss, the detached feeling intensified. Her senses were working overtime and her brain had ceased any and all reasoning functions.

He brushed his tongue lightly against hers in that agonizingly gentle manner that made her whimper deep in her throat for more. He was so gentle with her and while it was extremely erotic, it left her practically begging for something rougher, harder, and she had learned that he was quite capable of that as well. She half sighed, half moaned as she felt him push up her dress, rubbing his fingers across the fabric of her underwear, pushing against her moist, sensitive heat. He plunged his other hand into the frilly article of clothing, running his hand over her bare ass. He deepened the kiss as his fingers trailed over the curve of her backside, pushing her panties down her legs little by little. He swiftly brought her legs up and around him, alternating in order to rid her of the hindering material, being considerate enough to stuff them in his pocket rather than letting them fall to the filthy floor. There wasn't a whole lot of room in the small booth and every once in a while one of them would bang the wall in their passionate exchange. He wanted to play with her but he wasn't sure how much time they had before someone caught them. He could only hope, as he quickly inched his sweatpants down, that this was not the only public phone.

*****

Krillin and #18 were tearing up the dance floor. Krillin was a surprisingly good dancer which did a lot of work in order to make up for the height difference. Bulma was dancing as well, trying to coax Vegeta out onto the dance floor with no success. Nappa and #16 were at the bar talking to a handful of giggling, beautiful young women who appeared to be very impressed by their size. Next to them stood the same group of ladies that had been checking out Jiisu and Zarbon all night, who were still playing pool, since Jiisu was down one hundred and twenty dollars.

Raditz stood near the girls and couldn't help but grin at the way they were making obvious eyes at the pair.

"The taller one is a pretty good kisser," he stated to the blonde closest to him.

She eyed him as she giggled not really sure if the tall man with long hair in the tight leather pants was trying to pick her up. She watched him as he took a long draught from his beer. He was really nice looking, but so was the other one at the pool table.

Raditz felt her gaze on him as she questioned his statement. He put his glass down and looked back at the pool table. Zarbon's eyes widened in what Raditz guessed was concern when he noticed him amongst his group of admirer's. The Saiyan only grinned back at blue skinned man and winked. He could sense Zarbon's stomach churning from where he was standing as he slightly leaned towards the blonde once again.

"I used to date him," Raditz explained to the woman as she blinked in surprise. He had been watching the group for sometime, and if he was any judge of personalities, which he luckily was, he knew that this wouldn't be a problem for the young lady. "He's pretty shy though. Take that cute little rump of yours over there and go talk to him. He's had a rough day."

She smiled broadly at him and squared her shoulders, patting him on the arm before she walked over to talk to the man she had been watching all night.

Raditz sighed as he looked up and down the bar. He had just done Zarbon a favor. He could only hope now that he wouldn't drop the ball.

He downed the last of his beer and moved down to the end of the bar where Yamcha was standing with a beer in his hand, watching the people out on the dance floor.

"You looked really good today," he told him as he stood next to him at the bar, then flagged the bartender for yet another beer.

"Thanks," Yamcha responded, "I thought Tien had the coolest outfit." He added as he looked over to where Tien was sitting, completely drunk by this time with Miss Launch perched on his lap.

"The pants you had on were a very flattering cut." Raditz continued.

"Thanks," Yamcha stated again, sipping his beer. "You guys didn't look half bad yourselves." He admitted, not really knowing what else to say. He had only met Goku's older brother a few times, and he was a little miffed that he was supposed to drive some of the guys home, which meant he was still nursing his first and only beer of the night.

Raditz made a slight face as he turned towards the shorter man, placing his beer on the bar and clasping his hands together.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have a nice ass?" Raditz finally stated after a few minutes of companionable silence.

Yamcha didn't seem phased by this. He simply shrugged and finally replied, "once or twice."

Raditz continued to stare at the other man, his dark eyes unwavering. He bit his lip as he considered what he wanted to say next.

"In case you haven't noticed, I am hitting on you."

That got Yamcha's attention. By the looks of it, his full attention. He had heard things about Goku's older brother. Not actually things, just one thing. That he was bisexual. Yamcha suddenly felt a little uncomfortable, but not for the reason he would have thought. Here he was, a guy standing at a bar having a drink, and another guy was hitting on him. And for whatever reason, he was suddenly uncomfortable because he wasn't bothered by it. Truth be told he was very flattered, and a whole lot curious. Then another thought struck him.

He wasn't even drunk.

Raditz watched the other man as the full gamut of emotions were expressed in a relatively short time across his face. He was suddenly a bit unsure of himself, fearing for the first time that maybe he had blown it, and now would never be able to even receive the time of day from the man again. He had always thought of Yamcha as a nice looking guy, but the night he had seen him before the fight with Cell…since then he just couldn't stop thinking about him. Not because he looked hot as a woman, but because he saw Yamcha as the stand-up guy that he was. He felt almost giddy at those times, which was not something that any Saiyan worth his tail would ever admit.

Yamcha's face softened as he turned his gaze back to the dance floor. "Sure, it'll be one poke and then you're on to the next." He said rather dejectedly as he scolded himself. Why in the hell was he even thinking these things? Would he ever really date and do THAT with another guy? He didn't want to look over at the handsome Saiyan standing next to him, as he realized that, yeah, he most likely would.

"I'm not interested in a fling," the tall man stated, gaze still on the man next to him. "I've thought a lot about this."

Raditz had been thinking about this? About him? Yamcha could hardly believe what he was hearing! Even harder to believe was what he was thinking himself, about why none of this was bothering him in the least.

"I can't promise you much," Yamcha replied faintly after a short time.

"We all do what we can." Raditz responded, nerves beginning to calm.

They stood with their backs to the bar for a few more minutes next to each other in silence. Around them the normal business of the night proceeded without much regard to the pair.

"Would you ever take me dancing?" Yamcha finally asked without looking over at the other man.

Raditz smirked and shifted his gaze back to the gorgeous man standing next to him. He wasn't about to admit that he wasn't much of a dancer. He might be willing to make some compromises.

*****

Now, for those of you who might ask for a R/Y lemon. Forget it. ABC and Erasure have not released enough music to get me into the mood. Period. Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this chapter. It's longer than the others and I worked hard on it, dang it!

-RM