Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Ones They Take For Granted ❯ Doorway to the Inevitable ( Chapter 5 )

The Ones They Take For Granted
By Pareathe

A/N: Well, every story must climax - no pun intended *dodges lightening bolt that zips by her head* - *eyes the sky warily and clears throat* so that it can be brought to a resolution... that's all you're gonna get from me for this chapter. *Evil grin* Enjoy.

Big hugs to my partner in crime, BluEydMnstr for beta-ing.

Chapter Five: Doorway to the Inevitable

~These walls keep a secret that only we know
But how long can they keep it, cause we're two lovers who lose control
We're two shadows chasing rainbows behind closed windows, behind closed doors~

Oh Kami...

The combination of the feel of his body so close to mine and the look in his eyes as he stares down at me - hopeful, yet... frightened? - is almost too much to bear, and I have to actually remind myself that I need to take a breath.

Goku's been acting so normal this week, that damned facade so firmly in place, I wasn't sure if he was okay... if he had missed being with me at all. But now, as his eyes anxiously search mine, I can see the proof of what these past few days have been doing to him - and it breaks my heart even as it makes it soar.

He's longed for me. Desperately.

Just like I have for him.

His lips move soundlessly for another moment before he manages a breathless whisper that feels like heaven against my skin. "Gohan is gone... until tomorrow?"

I bite my lip shyly and give him a slow, subtle nod so I don't have to break our gaze. I would say something... I know I should, but I can't seem to find any words to describe how hard it's been waiting for this moment that wouldn't be more than a mockery of the range of emotions I'm feeling.

I never would have imagined it would be so hard to be away from him for only a few days.

There have been plenty of times during my marriage when I would settle for Gohan just physically being home. It didn't matter if he paid me very little attention; it was enough that he was with us and not at the office. As long as his person was present, I could make myself overlook the rest. I have, after all, spent most of my life believing that was okay. From my father to my husband, I had been conditioned to think that, as long as the body is there, you should be satisfied. But in my heart, I've always suspected that was wrong, that there was more to loving and being loved than that.

And in these last few months, Goku has proven that to me.

This week of being around my husband without him actually being there felt so infuriatingly... empty... hollow... meaningless compared to what Goku has given me. Kami, I've missed this...

No, that's not right. I haven't missed this...

I've missed him.

He looks like he's trying to decide whether or not this is some kind of fantasy - like this may not really be happening - so I finally manage to draw my lips back slightly. Funny, now that I've started, I almost feel like this smile's going to take over my whole face; it's well worth it when his eyes close and he lets out a long, relieved breath as his own broad grin takes over his features as well.

It never ceases to amaze me that Goku and I, since the very beginning, have always seemed to laugh and cry at the same time and for the same reasons. This time is no exception - when his wide, obsidian eyes focus on me once again, they're glittering like a million stars at midnight as the moisture collects steadily in the corners, and I can't help but wonder what mine look like to him right now as I feel my own tears building.

I thought I would enjoy this week while Gohan was home. It's been a long time since he's had any time off, and... he's still my husband. I wanted to be with him, just like we used to be.

At least, I thought that was what I wanted.

~If walls could talk, they would say "I want you more,"
They would say, "Hey - never felt like this before,"
And that you would always be the one for me~

As I continue to study the man that took my broken heart and put it back together - the man that filled in all of the gaps by giving a part of his own soul and spirit to me - I want to believe that I would feel this way for my own husband if he was as attentive and affectionate as he had been before I knew any better.

The truth, however, is that I'm not sure it would be enough anymore.

That feeling increases ten-fold as he leans forward until his forehead is resting lightly against mine. "You know... I... I was kinda worried... you might not want me anymore since Gohan's been around again," he admits tightly, though he tries to use a half-hearted laugh to cover the unmistakable note of sadness I detect in his voice.

Oh, Goku...

That very soft-spoken, yet candid confession is all it takes to send my tears spilling down my cheeks, and I let them fall rather than try to force them back. Kami knows I'm not used to hiding my emotions these days anyway. Goku's already shown me time and again that when I'm with him, I don't ever have to.

And he thought I wouldn't want him anymore?

Though, in a way, he's right. I don't want him...

I need him.

The desire to reassure him of that snaps the very tenuous thread of self-control that's been keeping me from simply throwing myself at him, and without another thought, I snake my arms between us and wind them around his neck, weaving both hands into those thick, untamed spikes. He takes in one very sharp, deep breath and crushes me against him in a near-bruising embrace; his mouth covers mine hungrily, and every bit of anger and sorrow I've developed over the short time I've been without him just melt away under the uninhibited fire and passion that I've come to depend on so heavily from Goku.

Kami knows if I could, I would stay just like this - literally wrapped up in both his body and his spirit - but my crying is making it so damned hard to breathe, I have to pull myself away from the ambrosial warmth of his mouth to draw in a shuddering lungful of air. Just as I attempt to wipe at the annoyingly-sticky trails along my cheeks, one of his battle-calloused palms cups my face and his thumb brushes one away as his lips rise to meet the other. Starting at my eyelids, he places feather-light kisses down the wet path until he reaches my chin before he continues his tender travels along my jawline until he reaches the junction of my jaw and neck just below my earlobe.

The sound of his shallow, labored breathing is music to my ears and is harmonizing perfectly with mine, though now I'm panting and whimpering for an entirely new and much more welcomed reason; as he lingers next to my ear for another moment, I already know what he's about to say. No matter how much better he knows the area than I do, when we meet, or what we plan on doing, he always asks me. He said he always leaves it up to me because I'm the one he does this for...

Not this time.

He doesn't know it yet, but this time is for us, and when his voice finally graces my ear, my answer's ready.

"Where-"

"Anywhere."

***

~Just two people making memories too good to tell
And these arms are never empty when we're lying where we fall
We're painting pictures, making magic, taking chances, making love~

She didn't actually say it, but she didn't have to. I saw it in her eyes, and I can feel it now with every fiber of my being as she clutches onto me so fiercely.

Videl still needs me.

As soon as the whispered words left her lips, she turned her head and captured my mouth once again, moaning softly as I wrapped my arms around her body and lifted her up, her strong legs immediately circling my waist tightly. The amount of relief that floods my heart and soul is almost overwhelming, and every agonizing minute I've had to wait is completely drowned out under that single, simple revelation. Kami knows there were several times during the course of this week as I watched her and Gohan together that I found myself wondering if she was lonely without me, or if my son had finally come to his senses during these past few days and realized what it is that he has... and what he's been missing.

And as much as I wish it weren't true, the fact is that I'm damn glad he apparently didn't.

The need for air overcomes us both, and we simultaneously draw our lips away from each other to take in a shuddering breath. Then those passion-glazed blue eyes lock onto mine, and I push my initial goal of transporting us somewhere safe aside for the moment.

"Goku," she moans softly.

I strengthen my grip around her instinctively at the pleading in her now throaty voice. "Hai?"

She opens her mouth once... twice... then a third time before she closes her eyes for a moment, hiding the traces of confusion and anxiousness I detected for a brief instant. Then those cerulean orbs regard me again, and I feel her grasp on me tighten as well. "I... Goku, I..."

"Videl, whatever it is-" I begin, for some reason feeling that I need to reassure her that she can tell me anything. If she needs to talk, then Kami knows I want to listen... to be there for her in whatever way she needs me. But before I can finish telling her that, she cuts me off with a quick shake of her head. Then she leans forward until her lips are pressed lightly against my cheek.

"Please, Goku... just make love to me."

Good Kami-sama...

Throughout the course of this entire relationship, we've talked at length about love in general, but when it comes to what's going on between the two of us specifically, we've both been very careful to keep that particular word out of it. Whether it's because of the nature of this affair - the fact that we supposedly know that kind of love should only be reserved for the people we're committed to - or if it's because of the actual people around us and our mutual desire not to hurt them, I'm not really sure...

Hell, it's hard to be sure about any of this, I guess.

Still, to hear such a passionate and heartfelt request coming from her... and in those words...

Please, Goku... just make love to me.

~If walls could talk, they would say "I want you more,"
They would say, "Hey - never felt like this before"
And that you would always be the one for me~

In a way, that plea is bittersweet.

On one hand - and perhaps this is only because I let my heart guide me - I think there's something special about making love as opposed to just having sex... the emotional connection is greater, and I'd like to believe that two people have to actually care about one another if they are going to pull off what is basically a physical expression of what is in your heart. She and I both subscribe to that belief, so for her to ask such a thing of me...

On the other hand, though I know she cares about me to some degree - I've seen the briefest flashes of something deeper a few times - I can't allow myself to be encouraged by those rare instances. I mean, in those moments when her eyes hold mine so intensely... with so much feeling, it wouldn't be too hard to simply let myself think that they are projecting silently what she wouldn't feel right admitting openly. It would be easy to believe that, even if she doesn't say it, maybe... just maybe...

Maybe she really does love me after all.

But she doesn't. She never will... and to forget that would be disastrous.

Of course, just because my feelings for her can't be returned doesn't mean I won't give them to her, cause Kami knows I'd give her anything she asked me for. Years of being married to Chichi in comparison to these last few months with Videl have proven to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that one-way is better than nothing at all.

And it's not like I'm coming out empty-handed or anything...

"Goku?"

"Gomen," I offer quickly along with a wry grin. "I didn't mean to space out on ya."

Even though I've done it more and more often around her and she's gotten kinda used to it, she's still watching my expression closely, studying it as she always has, even before this all began. I can tell she wants to know what caused me to become so preoccupied... especially considering the position we're in at the moment. "What-"

I silence her question by placing a light kiss on her lips. "It's nothing. You just surprised me is all."

Her eyes shift slightly, and her mouth forms a small scowl. Then her legs unwind and she pushes against me, forcing me to let her go so I don't accidentally hurt her. As soon as she has her footing, she takes a single, small step back and regards me with a look that seems to be a mixture of hurt and anger, and my stomach drops anxiously.

"Please don't lie to me, Goku. I know there's more to it than that."

Amazing... she's upset that I'm hiding something from her, and she still keeps her voice soft... she still says please, for Kami's sake...

I take a deep breath and consider for a split second what I should tell her before choosing to be as honest as I can. "Hai, but... I think some things are better left unsaid."

Her frown disappears, replaced by a more contemplative and curious expression.

Considering that Videl is very smart and very perceptive, it's best not let those wheels in her head turn too much. It's good enough that she senses I was being honest, and even if I can't tell her how I feel, I'm more than willing to show her. "Besides" - I place my hands on her hips and coax her gently back against me, quickly circling my arms at the small of her back and smiling as she does the same, despite the confusion I see clearly in her eyes - "I like your idea better."

She blinks a few times, making me chuckle. "What idea?"

"Making love to you."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize something. There've been plenty of times in my life that I've said something and it didn't seem like that big of a deal, but if someone else said the exact same thing, it's like flipping a switch. Suddenly the significance of the words dawn on me because I actually heard it from another person rather than just thinking it to myself.

By the expression on her face, it looks like that's something else we have in common.

***

~If the walls had eyes, they would see the love inside
They would see me in your arms in ecstasy
And with every move they'd know I love you so~

I did say that, didn't I? I didn't really think much about it when I made my plea a few minutes ago, but something about hearing it come from Goku... My previous anger and suspicion vanished, replaced by a longing that threatens to split my heart in two... a soul-searing need... Gods, I don't think I've ever wanted anything so much in my life as I want him right now.

I need him. I need to make love to him... for him to make love to me. I need...

Before I have a chance to panic at the perilous direction my thoughts were going, Goku runs his fingertip down my cheek, getting my full attention once again. His features are so gentle... yet I can tell he's a little scared, too. "Is that what you want, Videl? For me to make love to you?"

He said it again. And it sounded even more wonderful this time. The sensation is like the perfect blend of melting-into-a-boneless-puddle and I-simply-can't-imagine-my-life-without-you.

But that's a lot more than just sex, so much more than just passion... No, this feeling is infinitely deeper... stronger...

Oh... oh Kami-sama...

"Gomen, Videl. I didn't mean to..."

Nani? I gasp sharply as I gaze up at him in time to see him clench his jaw once before he lets go of me, one hand taking its habitual place behind his head.

Oh no... no Goku, not the mask... please, not that...

"Look, you don't have to do anything-"

Not only do I have to do something... but I need to do it now.

Despite the fact that my heart is racing and my mind is spinning beneath the weight of a realization I can't allow myself to acknowledge, I practically jump onto Goku and, thanks to his open-mouthed shock at my quick movement, I cover his mouth with mine with fevered intensity.

Maybe... maybe if I drown myself in his physical perfection, I'll realize that the rest is just an illusion... that I'm just being over-emotional in reaction to not seeing him and to the built-up feelings of emptiness and apathy I've been getting from my husband over the past few days.

His ability to adapt quickly thanks to years of fighting serves him well as he responds within a fraction of a second and he matches my questing lips and tongue with equal passion and persistence.

And now I realize just how badly this plan is going to backfire.

Who am I kidding? No matter how aesthetically flawless Goku is, no matter how skilled a warrior or lover, that's not what I want from him. The fact is that, with today's technology, there is very little a man can do for a woman that she can't do for herself with thirty zenni and a trip to the big girls' toy store.

But this... this is so much greater than that. This uncanny connection that Goku and I share - one that was never supposed to exist, though now it seems almost like it was destined to happen - is what I need the most.

~When I'm feeling weak, you give me wings~

At this moment, I don't care that we're standing in the middle of Goku's living room. We're here now... together, and that's all that matters to me.

Though I may be quite a bit shorter than Goku, my height has its advantages because, to kiss me without actually lifting me more than a foot off the floor, he has to lean down quite a bit, which compromises his normally-impeccable balance. Thanks to that, all it takes is a few well-placed steps backwards while still holding onto him to completely undermine his firm footing. When the back of my knees hit the edge of the couch, I spin us both around and give him a light push, and he falls heavily onto the couch, pulling me down with him so that I'm straddling his lap.

He blinks several times, and his chest heaves up and down erratically. "Videl... we should go-"

He's right, of course. "I know we should," I reply breathlessly against his lips, "but..."

He draws back enough so his wide obsidian eyes can focus steadily on mine. "Hai?"

"Do you think maybe, just tonight" - one light kiss on his slightly parted lips - "we could forget about everything" - two - "and not worry about anyone or anything around us?" - three - "Please... just tonight..."

He frowns thoughtfully for a moment. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

The truth? "No," I admit with a sheepish grin that he immediately returns. "And maybe this is too much to ask, but..." Oh Kami, how do I say this? "I want it to be just us tonight. No guilt, no fear, no reservations... just you and me..." - I bite my lip shyly - "just this... I want you to make love to me like there's no one else but the two of us."

There. I said it.

Kami forgive me...

~When the fire has no heat, you light it up again~

"Like there's no one but us? No holding back?"

I nod slowly. "And nothing needs to be left unsaid," I add softly, remember his vague comment earlier.

"Are you sure? You know what they say about being careful what you wish for," he whispers as he pulls one of my hands from around his neck, taking it into his and tracing along each of my fingers deliberately with his thumb - he does that any time he's conflicted about something, to give him time to think things through.

Who knows, maybe he'll be a hero again. Perhaps he'll have the willpower that I don't and save me from myself and my reckless desire. Or maybe, for once in his life, he'll decide not to be the savior. Then we can be weak together... or strong together...

Fact is I'll take anything right now as long as it's with him.

I know he's settled whatever dispute he was fighting within himself as soon as his hand squeezes mine lightly. "If you're sure this is what you want-"

"It is," I assure him quickly, my words seeming to match pace with my accelerating heartbeat. "Tonight you'll be all mine."

"Hai," he agrees huskily, and his eyes... It's like he just opened a floodgate of buried emotions that is drawing me into its raging depths and swallowing me whole. "And you are mine."

Then, just when I'm ready for him to wrap me up and devour me inside and out, he lifts my hand and kisses it gently before standing us both up. I comply more out of shock than acceptance. "What-"

He places his finger on my lips. "You'll see. Just gimme a sec." Then he quickly turns and jogs down the hall, returning a minute later with a capsule in his hand. The he flashes me a mischievous smile and opens his arms. "C'mon." As soon as I grab on, the colors swirl for a moment before solidifying, revealing the small cove we've visited countless times now.

~When I hear no violins, you play my every string~

I can't help but smile at his choice since this is where it all began. "This place really is perfect," I mention off-handedly as I take in a deep lungful of the crisp night air.

Seeing that I approve, he grins broadly. "Not quite," he states before activating the capsule and throwing it in the middle of the clearing. Once the smoke clears, he nods negligibly before turning back to me. "Now it's perfect."

I'll be damned... I didn't know Goku had a capsule house...

"I never really use it," he explains in response to my amused expression, "but Bulma insisted I keep one in case I ever needed it. Seems she was right after all," he adds, the tone of his voice dropping slightly. "Now we have a house all to ourselves. It's not too fancy, but if there's anything at all that you want-"

I cut him off mid-sentence. "You. All I want is you."

To emphasize my point, I grab him by the front of his gi and pull us both towards the front door. We manage to stumble about halfway there while holding onto each other - our already slow progress is halted entirely almost every other step by playful, promising kisses and caresses - before Goku finally scoops me up and cradles me against his chest, his mouth securing ravenously onto mine as he closes the distance with smooth, long-legged strides.

I have no idea how he could pay attention to where he's going so that we don't crash into anything that may be in the way - especially in the dark, but apparently he's still very aware of his surroundings because he maneuvers us not only into the house, but into the surprisingly spacious bedroom and even turns on the light without missing a beat. He releases my mouth, albeit hesitantly, and places me on my feet in front of him next to the bed; his bottomless onyx gaze runs over every inch of my face slowly, bringing a blush to my cheeks at his thorough scrutiny even though I'm too mesmerized by the look on his face - so focused and powerful, it's almost tangible - to do anything except draw in several shaky breaths. Undeterred, one gentle hand rises and runs from my right temple, around my ear, all the way down to my chin, finally moving over my lips lightly, the look softening slightly.

~So stop the press, hold the news, the secret's safe between me and you
Walls, can you keep a secret?~

"G-Goku..."

He gives me a small smile. "I'm sorry, it's just..." - his thumb runs over the curve of my jaw once more - "These last few days... I've missed you." He moves his gaze to the side and swallows once, his hand leaving my face to rub the back of his neck. "A lot," he adds tightly. He opens his mouth once more, but closes it quickly, clearing his throat.

"Please," I ask... well, more like beg, I guess, but I want to know what he was going to say. I need to know... "Whatever it is, just say it. It's just us tonight, remember?"

"Hai," he whispers as his eyes, now shining with thinly-masked sorrow, lock onto mine again. "That's just it - it's only tonight."

Oh my Kami...

It's been months since I've been so torn over what I should do regarding Goku. My pride is saying it's not outside the realm of possibility to leave altogether, though I don't really believe that. My mind knows that I could completely disregard the implications of what he just said and still be with him right now, and tomorrow he would act as though nothing had changed at all. Then there's my heart... my recently-restored, illogical, irrational, irresponsible heart...

My heart wants more than just speculation - desires something more concrete than reading between the lines.

My heart wants to actually hear him say it.

I can't deny it anymore. All this time that Goku's been working tirelessly to heal my soul and spirit, carefully picking up the pieces of my shattered heart and putting it back together again, I've been steadily pulling him deeper and deeper into it, and now...

Now, despite our families and our commitments and our obligations... despite everything that's reasonable... as unbelievable as it would have seemed to me less than a year ago...

The perfect blend of melting-into-a-boneless-puddle and I-simply-can't-imagine-my-life-without-you.

I'm in love with him.

Actually admitting that to myself is enough to finally kick my thoughts back into a more sensible direction. He was absolutely right. It's still only for tonight, and it's imperative that I remember that. Once this night is over, we'll have to leave and go back to our spouses - back to stealing a few hours a day from those that we're married to so that we can give them to each other.

But even though we can't actually say the words doesn't mean we can't say it at all.

He's so tense and his eyes are averted once again, so he jerks slightly when I sit down on the edge of the bed, taking both of his hands into mine. He immediately kneels down in front me so that we're eye to eye, the glassy black orbs openly questioning me.

I give him a heartfelt and empathetic smile - I feel the pain from this seemingly impossible situation, too. "You're right, we can't talk about it," I begin softly, "but we can show each other." I place his hands on my hips and move mine to his face, pulling it to me so that I can feel his shallow pants of air against my face. "Make love to me, and I'll make love to you, and then there won't be any more secrets."

***

~If walls could talk, they would say "I want you more,"
They would say, "Hey - never felt like this before"
And that you would always be the one for me~

As soon as I said it, I knew I'd gone too far.

For a minute I was almost positive she was gonna run again - not that I would blame her. I all but admitted that I love her and that I can't pretend that she's mine, even if it is only for one night, when she doesn't feel the same way. Then, when she didn't run, when she sat down and held my hands, I was so relieved that I hadn't scared her off that it took a minute for me to comprehend what she was saying.

We can't talk about it...

We can show each other...

Not 'you can't talk about it', or 'you can show me.'

We can show each other... as in her and me... both of us.

Make love to me, and I'll make love to you, and then there won't be any more secrets...

Not 'make love to me and there won't be any secrets.'

And she stressed the word 'love'... twice. Once for me, and once for her.

Normally I don't resort to reading her aura to substantiate what she tells me about how she feels. I guess I've always thought of it kind of like cheating... I don't ever want to think that I might have used what I sensed as a way to, whether consciously or not, act a certain way or say something that wasn't completely honest just so it would look like we had more in common or understood each other better than we actually did.

Our similarities... our unique insight into one another's feelings... everything was completely natural. We didn't have to make any adjustments whatsoever. Just as we are, our hearts and minds connect seamlessly...

It's why I fell so deeply in love with Videl even when I knew it was wrong to do so.

But, until now, I thought I was the only one.

Videl's eyes remain evenly on me, open and inviting, the crystal blue depths urging me on... I let myself fall deeper into them, holding my breath as I focus on her feelings at this moment-

The sheer magnitude of what I find forces the air from my lungs, and I gasp sharply to replenish the oxygen my body needs to keep me from passing out. It's indescribable... nothing like the lukewarm emotions I've felt from my wife... no, this is... Kami, it's like... like an ocean during a raging storm. Her passion is intensely chaotic, possessive, powerful and all-consuming. Of course, seeing that level of temporary personal desire within Videl doesn't surprise me.

It's what she harbors beneath that...

Infinitely deep and tranquil, protective, soothing... Endless. Unbreakable. Pure and immutable.

Identical to mine.

Love... real love...

I guess she can tell I'm done, because her head tilts as she moves forward and covers my mouth tenderly with hers; we've shared countless kisses over the past few months, from soft and innocent to hot and heavy, but this is - good Kami-sama! - so much more than any of those before.

It doesn't matter anymore that we can't admit to this out loud, and, at least right now, I don't even care if this can't last. I know she loves me just as much as I love her...

And, if only this once, Videl is mine.

~If the walls had eyes, they would see the love inside
They would see me in your arms in ecstasy
And with every move they'd know I love you so~

I feel myself growl into our joined mouths, the only warning Videl has before I wrap and arm around her waist and pull us both completely onto the bed, though it takes every ounce of self-control I possess not to rip every shred of clothing off of her in my burning desire to feel her skin against mine.

Then I remember that Bulma and Videl are about the same size, and out of part habit and part tribute to the past, Bulma made sure I had spare clothes for her in here along with my own personal replacement set. I'm definitely gonna have to thank her someday.

Goodbye little white tank top. Goodbye... damn, that bra was actually quite sexy. Ah well, it's too late now, and by the expression on Videl's flushed face, I don't think she minds much. Goodbye faded blue jeans, and last but certainly not least-

The next tearing sound startles me slightly, only because I didn't do it. My aching need for her skyrockets when I see that not only is my orange gi top wide open, but my weighted training shirt is ripped jaggedly down the middle as well. Gods... talk about a major turn-on... I shrug them off impatiently as she continues her own destructive spree, removing my sash easily and tossing it aside.

When I bring my attention back to the beauty pinned beneath me, she purses her slightly-swollen lips triumphantly. "Guess our sparring sessions have paid off, neh?"

You know... I can't think of a better way to find out.

It only takes me a few seconds to get everything still on us out of our way, and before the last ruined garment hits the floor, Videl loops her arms around me and pulls herself up, her teeth and tongue grazing my collar bone and up my neck seductively, making me purr involuntarily as I let my eyes fall closed.

She chuckles softly as she ends at my mouth. "I love it when you do that," she whispers, her satiny lips brushing over mine.

Do you now...

"And I love it" - following her lead and putting emphasis on 'love' - "when you do this." Using my speed to my advantage, I dip down to one round breast before she even realizes what I'm doing and take the pert nub between my teeth, raking over it lightly. I'm rewarded with an unhindered cry of pleasure from her along with what I bet are gonna be some nasty nail marks on my shoulders come morning.

I go from one side to the other, all the time reveling in the feeling of Videl writhing sensually beneath me as she gasps and moans my name over and over again, one hand tensing periodically on my shoulder as the other holds firmly to a handful of my hair. Nearing my own personal breaking point, I move back up and claim her mouth roughly and duel mercilessly against her demanding tongue. Then I feel her hand leave my shoulder and work its way down...

Oh shit... the scar!

"Videl," I manage breathlessly as I pull back. "I don't know if I'd do that right now. I can barely control myself as it is. I'm liable to transform, and I don't want to hurt you." I explain quickly when she raises an eyebrow in question.

Her hand stops just above her intended destination for a moment. "I think I'll take my chances."

Everything goes white for an instant as her fingertips find my tail spot, the searing wave of pleasure forcing a strangled scream from my throat and almost making my arms buckle. "Viiideeeeeel..." I hiss warningly as I force my ki back into check just in the nick of time.

She presses down on the spot again, though much more gently this time. "Can you? I mean... is it possible?"

I nod once. "Hai, but it's not a good idea. Too risky."

"I'm not made of glass, Goku, and I know you would never hurt me."

As much as I appreciate the vote of confidence, I -

When her fingernails rake across the scar mercilessly once again, I bury my face in her neck and clench my jaw tightly, knowing the decision is now out of my hands. I feel her teasing strokes freeze as the sheets and pillowcases begin whipping and billowing around us.

Supporting her as gently as I can, I lift us up into the air enough to flip us over, landing back down so that she's on my thighs before sitting myself up so that we're nose to nose. My senses are already increasing dramatically with my power level, and her scent is assaulting my senses like a drug. "Focus your energy like you're about to fly," I advise, "and whatever you do, please don't scream."

She takes a deep breath and nods, though I feel her shiver nervously against my chest.

With only a second to spare, I make sure to take my hands off of her just to be on the safe side and offer her a encouraging smile.

"No matter what, I won't hurt you. I promise."

***

~I love you so...~

I force myself to stay calm and hold onto him as well as my own ki, closing my eyes and hiding my face in the crook of his neck as the feeling of raw power explodes around us making the small clip that's held my hair back come loose, releasing it and making it blow around wildly. I can't help but crack an eye open when my head is shifted slightly - it's amazing to see the contours of his body change, muscles becoming more pronounced and the indentations more defined.

Everything finally seems to return to normal, and I feel a strong caress brush the hair from my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

I let out a relieved sigh and nod, raising my head and opening my eyes again. "Hai, I-"

It's not like this is the first time I've ever seen a Super Saiyajin. I mean, thanks to Goku and a mini-lesson he gave Majin Buu years ago, I've seen him ascend three times over, but he was a thousand miles away and I was watching the show through my mind like everyone else...

There's a world of difference between seeing him transform from afar and experiencing it while sitting totally naked in his lap.

I lift my hand tentatively at first, but when he flashes a disarming grin and settles back with his arms holding him up, I completely let go of any fear I have left and run my fingers through the upswept blonde spikes, smiling at the fact that the paler hair feels even softer than before, though it's thicker at the same time. I run my hand down to the nape of his neck before trailing it along his collar until I come to his chest. I put the palm of my hand completely against his skin, noting the rhythmic beating of his heart and the increased heat of his smooth flesh - the sound of forced and erratic breathing isn't escaping my attention, either. "How hard is it to keep yourself from just grabbing me and fucking me blind when I'm doing this?" I ask playfully through a purposefully lusty gaze.

His teal eyes narrow. "Very," he replies softly. "A Saiyajin's senses increase naturally and become a lot more sensitive in this form, and that includes touch," he adds matter-of-factly.

I blink once, not because he said something intelligent - I'm used to that - but because a thought hit me. "But how do you handle that when you fight? I mean, you guys become almost indestructible compared to a normal person..."

"That's a lot more mental than physical, and it has a lot to do with distributing ki within your body. The more energy you use, the less you have to spread out so you can protect yourself against both injury and pain."

Wow... "But if you don't do that, then..."

I let the sentence hang as he closes the distance between our faces to an inch. "It feels like a bolt of lightening under my skin anywhere you touch me," he finishes with a soft growl and leans back again.

"So me doing this is driving you crazy," I say, unable to stop smiling now.

"Absolutely insane."

Well, far be it from me to be a tease, and I push him flat on his back with every intention of crawling up and making love to him for all he's worth, and my eyes run down his body one more time, taking in every perfectly chiseled inch -

Oh my Kami!

My mouth falls open, both at the fact that he's been sitting through my questions so patiently when he's that aroused and that I didn't notice it until now - seems everything on a Saiyajin gets bigger when they transform...

"Gods, I wonder if I'll be able to walk after this," I manage out, still staring wide-eyed.

"I wouldn't bet on it."

And with that said, he lifts me up and captures me in a mind-blowing kiss before sheathing himself entirely into me in one fluid motion that sends me beyond anything I could have imagined possible.

***

~Walls, can you keep a secret?~

I open my eyes as much as I can and glance at the clock across the room, groaning when I see that we're going to have to go soon. Just the thought makes me frown as I cradle Videl's delicate form tighter against me.

I have to say that her training has indeed paid off and then some. No other woman alive could have handled our last bout of lovemaking.

The first one - maybe, but not the second.

Definitely not the third...

I can't help but laugh at the irony. Figures while everyone else's idea of making love is soft, slow, and gentle - not that I don't enjoy that, too - Videl and I would go for more the strength-stamina-endurance type of sex. Of course, now that we both know for sure how we feel about one another beneath the burning passions that fuel us, it doesn't matter what anyone would think.

Not like we have anyone we can tell...

"Damn it, why couldn't I have met you before I got married, huh?" I whisper into her hair.

"Because I wasn't born yet."

I glance down at the sound of her voice. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay," she responds wearily, shifting so she can rest her chin on my chest. "How much longer do we have?"

"Not long enough," I say, unable to keep the regret from my voice. "Maybe an hour before you should go, just to be on the safe side."

"Forget safe," she moans. "How long until sun-up?"

I can't help but grin. "Two hours or so."

"Let's watch the sunrise together," she offers.

"We could go get breakfast," I reply.

"A walk around the lake... maybe a picnic lunch."

"Sparring in the afternoon," I state playfully, running my hand down her spine.

"What kind?"

"Both."

She laughs softly. "We really shouldn't be doing this to ourselves."

"I know," I agree, closing my eyes for a moment and simply enjoying the feeling of being with her...

The approaching ki, however, cuts it very, very short.

I stiffen every muscle and focus - please... please Kami... please let me have been wrong!

Videl immediately lifts her head and blinks a few times. "What?" Then her face pales when I finally reopen my eyes and look at her. "G... Goku?"

His ki is unmistakable. I take a deep breath and consider very quickly what I can do. There's no doubt he's already sensed both of us being here... there's nowhere near enough time for us to take a shower in less than two minutes... I could transport her back home or to Capsule Corp, but I'd still have to explain why she was here... not to mention that the smell of sex is so strong he'd know off the bat...

"Shit."

"Oh Kami... Goku..."

I lift us both up and cup her face gently. "In the closet there's a set of clothes for you, put them on right now."

I don't have the luxury of panic... though I seem to have more than enough capacity for guilt...

And I've only got one more minute at the most.

I turn and see Videl, now fully dressed in a skintight cotton t-shirt and a pair of very short shorts - oh, fucking great... thanks Bulma! - watching me with wide, disbelieving eyes. Oh no, she looks like she's gonna go into shock...

"Videl..." I call, crossing the room clumsily as I try to pull on my pants at the same time.

Thirty seconds... maybe.

She jerks and steps back, her shoulders and arms that are wrapped around herself shake violently. "It's... it's Gohan, isn't it."

It wasn't a question, and she's not looking for an answer, just the dreaded confirmation. I nod once.

She backs up another step, her lower lip and chin trembling. "Oh... oh Kami... Gohan... he... he..." Her final backwards step puts her against the wall, and she whimpers softly as she presses her back against it as hard as she can.

I want to go to her... protect her... comfort her, but there is nothing I can do to change the fact that any power, skill and experience I possess is meaningless now.

My worst fear is about to become reality. My son and Videl are both going to suffer... because of this...

Because of me.

The sound of knocking stops all other sounds and movement. I catch myself holding my breath as I hear the door open. "Dad? Videl?"

Without another thought, I grab Videl and coax her into the adjoining bathroom. It won't stop what's gonna happen, but it will give her a few seconds more before he sees her...

The sound of slow footsteps reaches my ears, and I begin the countdown until his sense of smell guides him to this room...

"Hey... what's-" The footfalls from the other room stop suddenly, and I feel his ki start to build - feel the sudden burst of confusion and disbelief... a sense of denial...

A footstep towards us.

Three...

Two...

One...

I retreat another step into the bathroom just before Gohan's face appears in the doorway.

At this moment it feels like time itself is standing still, waiting for the inevitable judgment to be passed, and all I can do is swallow my fear and anguish and accept that, no matter what, everyone is going to pay the price for what we've done.

Even under the most optimistic prospective outcome, nothing is ever going to be the same.

***

Lyrics: If Walls Could Talk by Celine Dion

***

A/N #2: *grins* That cliffie's not too bad, right? *dodges fruit thrown at her head* O-kay... maybe it is... but I love cliffhangers. :)

Time to thank reviewers!

Meiyume: LOL, thanks for the 11 *grins*, and I don't usually update this fast, but his fic... has taken over... can't update anything else... *groans*

moonsaiyanprincess: Lol! I'm glad ya like it!

gokusgirl: Aiy yai yai, don't do that! Here it is! :-)

DD: *grins* I really enjoyed writing Vegeta into it... you knew he was gonna have something to say, neh?

EmberMaxximus: Hehe, it's nice to know I'm not the only one neglecting my housework and other fics for this story, and thanks for checking it out despite the odd pairing... I know that lots would have never opened this thing up. Domo!

Winged Vampy: Oh man, if you cursed me for the ending of the last chapter, Kami only knows what you're gonna say this time! *laughs* That's okay though, cause I LOVE driving people as crazy as I already am, so it's allllll good. I'm glad you like it!

Cloud_S_ : Wow, thank you so much! It's wonderful to know you're enjoying this fic so much. Go ahead, lose your lungs... it's better than your lunch... And thank you, my arm is doing great!

Z: Aw, thanks! I'll try to keep it up :)

autumn: I know... my poor Goku... And thanks for the comment about the convo with Vegeta, I tried to keep it in character, which wasn't easy since the talk was about a relationship (and you know how Geta is about those)

dlord21: Hehe, thanks... I was trying to make Vegeta believable and put a slightly new spin on the old 'Saiyajin mating/instinct thing'... I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for thinking I'm a trooper with my arm. I did the bulk of that chapter beforehand, so it wasn't hard to touch up one-handed, but thank you for your thoughts!

AlphaOmega: Hehe, they got caught! I know you were looking forward to that... and the actual confrontation should be quite interesting... for all 3 of them.

SaiyaSith: You know... I considered having Gohan in an affair of his own, actually, but I've decided that would be too easy... lol. I really am out to do the impossible, I think... But I'm glad you're into it!

Sundragoness: Cool! The original Gk/Vd fic author reviewed! Hehe, yeah, I know when I posted this, I did a search, and only one came up... well I'm really glad you like it, and that this is what you thought of when you wrote yours... So I'm not the only one who saw the possibility... *grins*

Demoranaii: Another fan? Awesome! *Does 'I have a fa-an' dance once again* I'm so glad you like it!

mae: I'm glad you love the first person POV... I've wondered a few times if this story would be better in third person, but I really think the first person makes it a lot more unique, especially in situations like these...

Larania: LOL, no you didn't sound rude at all... that's what reviews are for, after all. And you're right, I've seen the Saiyajin instinct/mating theme played an awful lot (especially in Yaoi fics and a lot of V/B's), but I actually do have several reasons for using it here. The main reason I did it was because I needed to bring Vegeta into things, but as we all know, Vegeta doesn't do emotional, so instead of adapting Vegeta to fit my fic (there's nothing worse than an OOC Vegeta), I had to make my fic fit him. I am glad you're interested by the relationship, and I am trying to keep the focus of it on the thoughts and emotions of the characters rather than anything instinctive. Thanks!

NeoQBirdie: Aw, thanks hun! You hit just about every nail right on the head... *sighs* It makes me so happy that people are really moved by this story. Anyway... can I give you a warning then, if you tend to cry at certain points in this fic? I'm sure you can tell already, but just let me confirm it for you - you will need tissues for the next chapter... like... an entire box. As you can probably tell... happy times are over from here on for a while - and this chapter marks the halfway point of this fic.

Lasaire: Wow, thank you! Yes, I have to admit that there are few characters I despise more than Chichi... and I can't think of who they are right now. And Gohan... I don't know, but I've never seen him and Videl as a good couple. Videl's too... fiery for Gohan. Thank Kami for fanfiction... gives me a medium where I can do something about what I don't like. *grins*

christabeleve: Hehe, I'll update as fast as I can... poor, poor Goku... and Videl... and Gohan...

Fried Wontons: Aw, that's so sweet, but I'm only as good a writer as my beta-reader makes me. The little bits you see me put up at the top are serious... she really does make me look super good and catches all my baka mistakes. But I'm still ecstatic that you think it's so realistic... that's one of my main goals with this, especially since the pairing, on the surface, seems so far-fetched.

Dragongirl96: Hehe, it's so cool that you reviewed each chapter as you read it! Thank you! And I totally agree with you, I love reading any fic with any pairing as long as it's written well... I can't imagine missing some of the amazing fics I've read just because the pairing isn't canon... what a shame that is! Ah well, people will read and write what they like, though, and I will never fault anyone for doing so.

Animeangel: LOL! Just don't write Goku or Videl into your exam anszwer, and you'll be okay *grins*

Burned and Company: *Pareathe covers mouth and tries not to laugh*
Goku: Don't even bother... it's great that she doesn't remember writing that...
Geta: *smirks* Indeed. But I knew the onna thought I was sexy...
P: O,o No... that was the influence of whatever brought on the whole 'hamster' thing...
Goku: I was kinda surprised by her talking about us kissing...
Geta: O,O *blushes* Shut up, kisama!
P: Uh, yeah Goku, you guys can't talk about that here... this isn't a Yaoi fic. Some of these readers might not dig that too much. Besides, I want to get to the important part...
Goku/Geta: O,o
P: What Goku/Bulma/Vegeta fic?!?! I wanna read it!!!! *shiny puppy dog eyes*
Goku/Geta: *groan and slump against the wall* Pareathe!
Pareathe: *shrugs* What?

Vegeta Goddess: Sure, when this is done, you're welcome to host it on your site... and I'm glad you still love the story! Thank you!!!

Sorceress Fujin: *does best Dragon voice* Your wish has been granted... So long... *disappears*

Alrighty, that's it for this installment. If you want to be notified by email when I update, just send a blank email to pareathe-subscribe@topica.com and that'll get you on the mailing list, and don't worry about getting tons of emails. I really do only use it for updates, so it won't junk up your inbox.

Until next time!