Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Ones They Take For Granted ❯ Passion and Practicality ( Chapter 3 )

The Ones They Take For Granted

By Pareathe

A/N: Domo arigato, minna! I can't believe it... still no flames, and over sixty reviews! This is now my highest reviewed fic on a per chapter basis... I'm sure you guys can understand why I'm so excited... I mean, it's Goku and Videl! Who'd a thunk it, eh? *grins*

A/N #2: Okay, I've never done this before, but I know how picky I am about what I read, and these are a few fics that I absolutely love. You should definitely check these out!

Welcome to Adulthood by BluEydMnstr - Yes, my beta reader also happens to be a fabulous author herself, and this fic is just awesome. If you want to read a T/P story with a realistic portrayal of Trunks and Pan (c'mon GT'ers, you know who you are, and you also know that 99% of the T/P stories on FF.net make them totally OOC), then this is definitely the fic for you! Just make sure you bring your sense of humor. *winks*

The Official Fanfiction University of Dragonball Z by BananaGirl - Mary Sue-happy authors get sent here to learn the REAL Dragonball... How cool would it be to go to a school where the Z characters are your instructors and rabid Goku and Vegeta fans are at war with each other? Lol, I'll let ya know, since Blu and I will both be 'attending' in later chapters. *grins*

Willpower by Jadedbest - This one is a riot! Bulma, Chichi and Videl all make a bet to see who has the most willpower. The bet? Who can abstain from sex the longest! Oh yes folks... but who suffers more? The women, or their poor, unsuspecting Saiyajin mates...

Alright, that's enough for now, I think. Review responses, once again, will be at the end of the chapter.

As always, special thanks to my beta-reader, BluEydMnstr, for putting up with my incessant pestering.

Chapter Three: Passion and Practicality

~Wherever I go, whatever I see, over oceans unknown, you are always with me ~

You know, there's something to be said for that age-old adage 'never say never.'

I made a promise when I married my husband that I would never be unfaithful to him, but - over too many lonely nights and more tears shed than I care to think about - never somehow mutated into thirteen years. Then, after Goku and I slept together that first fateful night, I told myself that I would never cheat on Gohan again, but never turned into less than two weeks.

Of course, when we said our good-byes after our second encounter, Goku and I both agreed that what had happened between us could never, ever happen again. It had to be done, no matter how much it hurt to leave him alone again - and knowing that I would be going back to my own dreaded marital seclusion as well. Still, we both knew it was the right thing to do.

Hell, it was the only reasonable option.

That's what I kept telling myself over and over as I flew home, that a few hours of physical pleasure with Goku wasn't worth risking my marriage or the well-being of my family.

When I landed, I knew as soon as I saw the darkness through the windows that Gohan was already in bed. I wasn't surprised; as a matter of fact, it was what I had been counting on. It gave me a chance to slip in quietly, shower, and put my dress in its bag so I could take it to the cleaners when they opened. I did all three as quickly and covertly as possible, and after removing all evidence of my earlier activities, I decided to lay down on the couch instead of going upstairs since it would only be a few hours before I needed to get up and begin my normal daily routine. I've always found it easier to get up when I'm not snuggled comfortably between the blankets of my bed, plus I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of leaving Goku just to climb into bed with Gohan.

Looking back on it now, I'm not sure which one of them I felt like I would be wronging more by doing that.

I used that short period of time curled up on my sofa in the wee hours of the morning to think about what I would do during my husband's imminent week-long absence. Normally I would have been upset about it, but I was relieved that Gohan didn't invite me to go with him on this particular trip. I was sure that I needed some time to myself; a lot had happened, and I think my brain was struggling to process it all. I figured him working out of town would be the perfect opportunity to do that, and I still think it would have been. There was only one problem.

The man who was at the center of my turmoil just happens to be my next door neighbor.

It's strange, I never considered that one rather significant and blatantly obvious fact when I was painting this little scenario in my head of how I would simply go on with my life as though nothing had ever happened, like I hadn't been changed by this... by him. It was easy... well, not easy, but easier to ignore the feelings and desires Goku had rekindled within me as long as I was shielded by the walls of my own house and surrounded by my husband and daughter. It was how I made it through the rest of the weekend without thinking too often about what I had willfully given up for the sake of my marriage.

Monday proved to be a very different story.

Gohan had left for the airport before sunrise, so after I had seen Pan off to school, I went home with every intention of spending a quiet day alone doing whatever I felt like. It just so happened that I had felt like running through a few katas in my backyard, as I often do in the mornings when I have the house to myself, and especially when I've got a lot to think about.

I had been outside for less than fifteen minutes when Chichi came out, the customary polite smile on her face, and it took every ounce of self-control I had to keep from telling her to leave me alone. She was the last person I wanted to deal with, especially under the circumstances. The truth was that I was still extremely touchy about the way she treated Goku at the party. Still, I knew it wasn't really my place to be upset over such things, so I smiled back and greeted her like I always do, though I didn't stop my exercises, either. I guess I was kind of hoping she would take the hint and leave me alone, but of course, she didn't. I should have known better. By the time she was finished talking, Pan and I were 'invited' - in other words, instructed - to join her and Goku for dinner since Gohan was gone. I didn't even bother trying to decline. Anyone who knows Chichi knows that you can't argue with her, so I agreed and quickly retreated to the safety of my house so that I could begin the long process of mentally preparing myself to see Goku again.

I was nervous, yes, but I wasn't as worried as I should have been. After all, we had managed to get through the party without incident... well, without any major ones, anyway. Not counting the gravity room...

I should have known it wouldn't be so simple.

Now that I'm thinking back on it, the meal itself is a bit of a blur. Probably because I was too busy trying to keep my eyes from straying from my mother-in-law, who can talk more than anyone I've met in my life except perhaps Bulma-san, to her husband sitting across from her... and to my left, just within arm's reach. I do however remember my legs brushing against Goku's every so often...

Needless to say, I didn't hear a damn word Chichi said the entire time.

After dinner, I offered to help with the dishes while Goku took Pan outside to play, and I had hoped that that would be the end of it. All I had to do was make it through a few hours of idle chit-chat with my mother-in-law over a bubbly sink full of pots, pans, and plates, and I could finally go home and pretend everything was still just business as usual.

It was well after sunset when I went outside to get Pan, but since she and Goku were sparring, I decided to sit and watch them for a little while. My daughter doesn't get to fight with people strong enough to handle her very often anymore, and my father can no longer allow her to train in his dojo since she had a tendency to get a little too excited and inevitably cause major property damage. Besides, I enjoy watching my little girl go all-out with her grandfather... she loves and respects him so much, and he's absolutely wonderful with her. Best of all is that Goku really seems to enjoy spending time with Pan, but I think that may be largely because she loves a good fight almost as much as he does.

~Pure as the water, we float on this wave. On the breath of an angel, I'll fly away~

I have no idea how long I was watching them, but they did finally notice that I was there; Pan immediately ran over and began going on excitedly, asking if I had seen her do this or that and begging to show me the newest trick her ojiisan was teaching her: the infamous Kamehameha. Of course, that set off warning bells in my head. I knew all of the Son men could perform the technique, but when Pan had asked Gohan to teach her, he explained that she was too young and wouldn't be able to control it. Thinking back on that, I realized why Pan had let the request go so easily that day, considering my daughter rarely ever backs down on anything... she knew if her father wouldn't show her, her grandfather would.

The next thing I knew, she was putting her wrists together, both palms open towards the empty field.

"Ka-me-ha..."

I took one step towards her. "Wait, Pan! Don't-"

That was when Goku put a hand on my arm, stopping my protest with a knowing smile. "Just watch," he prompted gently.

I could tell it was more of a request than a command, but it was just as effective since the simple act of him touching me made my mind go blank. Despite what my husband had said and my own nervousness, I simply waited, trusting that Goku could handle it if things got out of hand.

"...me-HAAAAAAAAA!"

It was incredible. Not only was she able to do it, but she even arced it upward so that it wouldn't hit any of the trees in the distance.

"See, Mama? Isn't that so cool?"

"Hai," I answered honestly. "That was great. You must have worked very hard to be able to do that."

Pan grinned proudly. "Nah, it was easy!" Then she grabbed my arm and began pulling me towards the field. "You try, Mama!"

"Me? Oh no, I don't think-" I began, though it was flattering that she would have such confidence in me, considering that I haven't done any type of serious training in years.

"You could do it, Mama," she argued, turning to Goku. "Couldn't she, Ojiisan?"

I was expecting him to explain to her why I wouldn't be able to master a skill like that. After all, Goku is usually rather blunt when it comes to people's abilities, especially when they're related to fighting.

He cocked his head to the side slightly and seemed to study me for a moment before turning back to Pan and nodding once. "Hai, she could do it easily enough, I think."

Now I know I should have declined on the spot and left when I had the chance, but... well, I guess I'm still too much of a fighter at heart myself, because as soon as he said that, I felt myself getting excited at the prospect. "You really think I could learn to do that?" I asked him, looking for any sign that would mean he hadn't been serious.

I didn't find anything at all except a handsome face smiling back at me. "Sure you could. I mean, you know how to fly, so you already know the basics of controlling ki. All it would really take is some practice at turning that energy into something tangible that you can concentrate into a beam."

Pan looked like she was on cloud nine. "Mama already knows how to form ki in her hands, Ojiisan. She's the one that taught me how to do it!"

Goku's eyebrows rose to the ceiling. "She did? I thought Gohan..."

"Nah, 'tousan was busy working and didn't have time to show me, so Mama did instead."

Normally I would have shrugged it all off, but when his eyes fell back to me, I could feel myself blushing like a schoolgirl, so I averted my gaze away from him in favor of a few blades of grass in front of my feet.

Of course, my daughter had other plans. "Show him, Mama!"

I smiled patiently at my daughter. "Pan, I doubt your grandfather wants to see-"

"I do, actually," he broke in quickly, taking a step towards me before stopping himself and going into his trademark hand-behind-the-head-and grin position. "I... well... if you want to, I mean..." Then he dropped stance and looked at me with those Kami damned gorgeous onyx eyes...

How was I supposed to say no to that? "Oh... okay."

~At the ends of your fingers, I follow tonight, caught in the lighting of a thousand horizons~

As soon as I agreed, my stomach went straight into my feet. I'm not one to be unnerved easily, but something about demonstrating it to Goku... I mean, he is said to be the single-most powerful being in the history of the known universe; although I had never gotten to know him very well personally, I'd always respected him greatly as a warrior. Because of that, combined with the fact that I could barely control my ragged breathing, let alone my ki, I was pretty damn sure I was going to end up making a fool out of myself. My luck would be that I would either be too distracted to make anything happen at all, or I would try too hard and overdo it, setting the surrounding forest on fire or some similarly disastrous outcome. Neither prospect particularly appealed to me.

Luckily, Chichi picked that moment to come looking for Goku.

"Goku-san! You've played long enough. Videl was ready to go home," she scolded from the back door, the dreaded frying pan in hand.

Goku's gaze lingered on me for another moment before he turned to his wife and nodded, immediately falling back into his I'm-too-stupid-to-know-better act. "Gomen, Chichi. I guess it is kinda late, huh?" It was amazing how fast my stomach moved from its previous place on the floor to lodge itself in my throat when Goku turned his attention back to me. "I didn't mean to keep you if you wanted to leave," he offered softly... sincerely. It was eerie to hear that tone coming out of his mouth when his facial expression remained so damned goofy.

"Well, Pan has school in the morning," I explained quickly, trying to justify myself to the real Goku as inconspicuously as possible with my daughter standing beside us and my mother-in-law watching him like a hawk. Sure, I knew that I should have been glad to have any excuse to leave considering our agreement, but... I wasn't... and I needed him to know that. I held my breath, hoping that my rather thin excuse coupled with the apology I tried to project through my eyes was enough to get my silent message to him.

Goku didn't acknowledge it at all right then. Instead, he turned to Pan and gave her a hug, promising they would spar again soon before urging her to head home, despite her numerous pleas and protests. Then I realized what he was doing when he glanced back towards his house. Goku had been betting that Chichi would leave once she was sure he wasn't going to defy her by letting his granddaughter stay any longer; it was understandable since I knew for a fact it wouldn't have been the first time Goku buckled at the sight of those puppy-dog pouting eyes and her atypically girlish imploring - "Oh Ojiisan, just one more time... pleeeeease?" I was proven right once Pan was out of sight and my gaze followed his; I was just in time to see Chichi throw Goku a nod and turn around before the heavy wooden door closed behind her retreating form.

As soon as she was gone, the ridiculous facade he had worn for his wife dropped and was replaced by a more serious expression, his thin lips curved into an almost imperceptible, thoughtful frown and his obsidian eyes burning with the inner fire that I had gotten to know intimately over the past few weeks... an expression that seemed to be reserved just for me.

That single thought stole the precious air from my lungs, and I realized that I needed to leave. Immediately. "Well... g-goodnight, Goku-san," I choked out uneasily, turning quickly away from him and walking as fast as my legs would take me to the safety of my own house. To his credit, he didn't try to stop me, but I could feel him watching me... and I thought, for just a split second as I rounded the corner, that I heard the wind carry a soft whisper that sounded like my name.

By the time I made it into my house, my heart was thundering in my chest and I was panting like I had run a marathon. Unfortunately, as I leaned heavily against my front door, my brain started racing as well. I was bombarded with so much longing... all I wanted to do was go straight to the other side of the house, throw open my patio door and call out to Goku. He would have still been there, I was sure, and what would be the harm? We had already been together twice... what was just one more time? Gohan would be gone for the entire week, so there would be no chance he would find out, and I doubted Chichi would notice if Goku snuck away for a little while. My eyes slipped shut as I was bombarded with images of all the things Goku had done that my own husband never had, even before we grew so distant - the warmth of his heated skin pressed deliberately against every possible inch of mine... the feel as every instrument of his mouth devoured me from my forehead to my nose to my lips to my chin and throat... the way he kept his passion-glazed eyes open as he moved within me...

I forced myself to open my eyes again and, with what little willpower I had left, pushed the overly-tempting imagery from my mind. I was shaking so badly I could barely hold my own weight as I pushed off of my perch and made my way into the kitchen, but, as I switched on the fluorescent overhead light, the sight of the dishes from lunch gave me the out I desperately needed.

I started cleaning. And I cleaned. And cleaned.

It was well after two A.M. when I ran out of things to do. I had literally scrubbed, scoured, washed and waxed every square inch of the first floor of my house. Not a speck of dirt or soiled garment had escaped... except the welcome mat. I still had too much energy for my own good, so I grabbed it and went out my back door to brush it off. I was in the process of beating it mercilessly when I felt someone watching me.

"Videl?"

He was right there, not even three feet away from me, and his concern was plainly evident in the deeply-etched lines of his face. I was like a deer caught in the headlights, completely frozen in place as he took a step towards me as all my efforts to push him out of my head went straight to shit.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, taking another step.

After several deep breaths, I managed to make my voice cooperate. "W-what are you doing here?" I asked, wincing slightly when I realized it sounded a lot harsher than I had intended.

"Oh," he began, stopping his advance and dropping his gaze to my feet. "I... uh... I was still up, and I kept seeing the lights go on and off. I just wanted to make sure you were okay?" He shifted from one foot to the other before finally looking at me once again. "So... are you?"

Those blasted eyes had my brain so scattered, I didn't even realize what he was asking me. "Am I what?"

Despite his obvious nervousness, he chuckled softly and took another step. "Are you okay?"

At that point, I was cursing his long legs that had managed in those few movements to close the distance between us to less than a foot... and easily within my arms' reach. Realizing that I hadn't answered, I nodded frantically and took a step back.

~We dance for no reason, you hold on so tight, lost in the feeling of a wonderful ride~

It was strange, but he relaxed visibly and took another long stride, putting him within mere inches of me and forcing my head up to look at him. It felt like I was in a trance as he peered down at me, scrutinizing the expression on my face thoroughly and bringing the blood to my already burning cheeks.

"Do you want me to leave?" he questioned, his customary sing-song tenor voice tight and gravelly, his breath lightly brushing against my tingling skin.

By then, we both knew the battle between my conscience and my desire had already been decided, but I wasn't willing to concede defeat. Not yet... But I'll be damned if my throat would make even the slightest sound to deter him.

He began lowering his head, closing that gap as well. "All you have to do is tell me to go," he whispered, sending a shiver down my rapidly-disappearing spine.

The little voice in the back of my head was screaming as his mouth got within an inch of mine. I had promised myself that it would never happen again. I was going to be strong. I was going to do the right thing...

Both of his hands lifted to cup my cheeks, and he hesitated for one last second.

"Videl..."

Yeah, I was strong alright. Strong enough to get on my tip-toes and grab him like he would disappear if I didn't, latching onto his lips like they were the sole giver of life.

I had sworn it would never happen again...

When it was said and done, never lasted two days.

***

~I can hear every word, I see everywhere. Take me into your world, you can answer my prayers~

That was five days ago. Gohan comes home tomorrow morning, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, it's good. I can't think of exactly why at the moment, but I know it is. And on the other...

Since that day, I've come to terms with the fact that this will keep happening for as long as we both need something from each other. Goku loves his wife and I love my husband, but we require something more that they aren't willing to give us right now. Because of that, neither Goku or I can find the resolve, or the desire for that matter, to stop what's going on between us, even though we both know that what we're doing is wrong - not to mention absolutely insane. The problem is that, having realized this, I've had to admit something else to myself.

I'm having an affair.

I'm actually having an affair... with Goku... my husband's father.

My husband's handsome, powerful, passionate, damn near flawless father.

"This is crazy."

The gentle fingertips that have been running smooth strokes up and down my back stop for a moment before they begin again. "Hai," Goku agrees softly.

As usual, he laid me on top of his own body after our last bout so that I'm not on the ground, and I groan feebly as I force my exhausted limbs to move so that I can resituate myself and look up at him from my head's resting place on his chest. Kami, I never knew being worn out could feel so damned good, though... It takes me a little while, but I finally manage to get my arms crossed beneath me and I rest my chin on them. As I do that, he pulls his free arm up to cushion his own head so that his face is angled towards mine.

And for several minutes, we stay just like that, just looking at each other... looking for answers to the how's and why's of this whole unbelievable situation.

"This is going to get really complicated," I state matter-of-factly.

He gives me a tiny, sorrowful smile and brushes a stray strand of hair from my bare shoulder, letting his fingers linger, making lazy circles. "It already is," he replies evenly.

He's got a good point. I sigh faintly and close my eyes. "What are we going to do, Goku?" I ask as I bring my eyes back into focus and regard his pensive visage.

"I'm not sure," he answers after a moment's consideration, then the hand that's been paying my naked body special attention for a while wraps around my waist and coaxes me up until we're nose to nose and he gives mine a gentle kiss. "I just know I don't want this to end yet."

"I don't think we could stop it, anyway," I reply, my earlier musings coming back to my mind. "I just wish..."

He raises an eyebrow and tightens his grip around me comfortingly. "What?"

Even though Goku and I have spent a lot of time together over the past few days, we haven't done much talking. I suppose now's as good a time as any. "I just wish it didn't have to be like this," I admit timidly, hoping he understands what I mean by that. It's not him, after all. Kami knows I was nearing a breaking point when this all began. If Goku hadn't come along... hadn't shared his own pain with me just as I did with him, I honestly don't know how much longer I would have been able to go on before I went totally nuts.

I let out a relieved breath when he nods. "I know," he assures me gently.

I feel too content to continue with such a somber conversation, so I decide to lighten it up. "So... how does this work, exactly?" I ask, a sly smirk taking over my face. "Do we make up some kind of schedule or something? Is there a secret code lovers use for this kind of thing I should know about?"

My smile broadens as his head falls back and he laughs heartily. "Yeah, I think so. Guess this means I need to get one of those long trench coats and an ugly brown hat, too, eh?"

The mental picture his comment produces is almost too much, and I start giggling with him. You know, I don't even think they make those coats long enough for someone who's almost seven feet tall, not to mention trying to put a hat on with hair like that! Still, I would never want him to try to cover it... I've grown extremely fond of that thick, spiky mane, and I lift my arm up to run my hand through the object of my current contemplation. His chuckling subsides as I work my fingers along the supple locks, replaced by a gratified purr - another thing he does that drives me absolutely wild.

If I don't start talking again, and fast... "I guess we need to pick some kind of password or something," I begin playfully, "to let each other know when we want to meet. Any suggestions?"

I keep stroking his hair as his brow furrows thoughtfully for a moment. All of a sudden, a sly grin forms on his lips. "I-ay ant-way o-tay uck-fay ou-ya enseless-say ight-ray ow-nay," he answers smoothly, without missing a beat despite the strange sounds he's making.

What the hell?

Oh, pig latin! Wow... it's been years since I've heard someone use it, and I laugh candidly that he was able to speak it so fluently while my brain is already working to decode the message.

I... want... to... fuck... you... senseless... right... now...

Cool! Maybe I haven't gotten as old as I thought... I smile proudly for a nanosecond before what he actually said registers in my mind.

NANI?!?!

I gasp sharply. I can imagine it looks like my eyes are about to pop out of my head and my jaw like it's somehow come unhinged from the rest of my face, because he is once again laughing his ass off, though he's holding onto me with both arms now so that I don't fall off of him as his body shakes uncontrollably beneath mine. Hell, I would probably be laughing, too, but Kami... I mean... I can't believe Goku of all people just said that!

And the smug bastard is enjoying my shock immensely.

~Rivers of hours where time is so rare, hold me forever, say you'll always be there~

When I finally manage to regain control of my mouth and snap it shut, I try to give him my best indignant scowl. By the self-satisfied look on his face, I don't think I'm very convincing though. Probably because I'm not the least bit angry... actually, the idea of the seemingly innocent, sweet, mild-mannered Son Goku saying something like that is - good Kami! - incredibly sexy. Yet another thing he can do around me, and me alone. Just knowing that in itself is rather satisfying.

I give up trying to look displeased. As a matter of fact, a delicious idea enters my head, and I don't hesitate to act on it. The fact is that, after today, I'm not sure when the next time we'll be able to be together like this will be...

And Kami knows talking is way overrated.

I grin mischievously and allow the fingertips that have been fondling his hair trail down to trace his lips instead. "And to think... I let you kiss me with that mouth," I tease breathlessly, my voice coming out more like a soft moan, and his lust-filled, black orbs level onto mine hungrily at my sudden change in demeanor.

I shuffle just enough to feel the proof of his arousal rub against my inner thigh. Ha, we'll see who fucks who senseless this time...

He acts like he's about to say something, but I've got other ideas for that amazing mouth of his, and I thrust both of my hands into his hair and pull his lips onto mine. One gentle tug is all it takes for him to drag one of his arms just below my rear so he can pull us both up to where I'm straddled over his lap. Thankfully, I've got him sufficiently occupied, and he doesn't realize that I'm deliberately holding myself up on my knees, keeping my weight off of him. I continue kissing him demandingly, letting my tongue battle mercilessly against his. Kami... I almost forget what I'm doing as he growls into our joined mouths, but then I feel him lean back so that one arm can hold us up while he gains the leverage he needs to roll us over; his hips lift up slightly in preparation to maneuver us into the desired position without crushing me in the process.

All it takes is a slight shift, and I impale myself onto his rigid length.

His mouth breaks free of mine and he squeezes his already half-lidded eyes shut tightly. He's like a lion as he snarls raucously through clenched teeth, every muscle in his neck and shoulders twitching uncontrollably. If the feel of him filling me again didn't make me cry out with immeasurable pleasure, I'd be the one laughing this time at my little victory. Then those fiery eyes open again, and any thoughts of mirth, or movement for that matter, are completely obliterated under those inky pools of pure passion. All I can do is hold onto him as he peers into my soul, setting me ablaze from the inside out.

I'm in such a daze, it's almost impossible to focus on his breathless plea. Almost.

"Videl... please... please don't stop..."

This is exactly what I wanted... this is what I was trying to do...

The strongest man on the planet is begging... he's actually begging...

Because of me?

Suddenly, all of my confidence, all of my vigor and determination just... fade away, replaced by total and complete disbelief.

This isn't possible. It's just... it can't be happening... How can Goku want me so much when I can't even make my own husband look at me with more than casual interest?

~Wherever I go, whatever I see, over oceans unknown, you are always with me~

"Videl?"

I can feel my lip tremble and I shake my head roughly. Something's wrong with this. Yes, Goku and I have had sex a lot over the last week, and I've seen the want... I've seen the desire, but... to hear him actually say it...

Goku sits himself up again and cups my chin, his wide eyes searching mine anxiously, and when I try to look away, his grip tightens just enough so that I have no choice but to stare back. "Videl," he asks, "what's wrong? Is... did I do something-"

"It's not you," I manage to reply through the painfully constricted muscles in my throat.

"Then what is it? What happened?"

Oh Kami... nothing happened... you didn't do anything... It's not you at all.

It's me.

Several moments of strained silence and intense scrutiny on his part pass, and his expression abruptly changes from near panic to a strange, sad comprehension. Damn it, why do I keep forgetting about his ability to sense people's feelings? I start to push myself away - there's no excuse for my irrational behavior, I know - but his arms grasp me around my waist; he lifts me up so delicately and shifts us around, putting me back in his lap so that I'm cradled securely against his chest and my head is resting in the crook of his neck.

I can't believe I'm acting like this. "Gomen nasai, G-"

"Don't be," he commands softly. "You've been suppressing all the hurt and anger you've felt, and when you do that, it starts to poison your soul... you lose little pieces of yourself until you're nothing but a shell made only for collecting that pain, and you forget that you're not supposed to feel like that because your spirit gets buried so far underneath it. Do that long enough, and it becomes so natural that you actually cling to it even though it's killing you inside because it's become all you know."

How do I respond to that? Is it even possible? Kami... I barely know the man, and already he's able to open me up and read straight from the battered pages of my heart...

"You don't have to hold it in anymore," he goes on, accompanying the perceptive words with soothing strokes along my back. "If you didn't want the pain to end, you wouldn't be here right now."

He's right. When this started, I was so close to completely losing myself... I don't want to feel like this anymore... It's been so long since I've been at peace with my life... with me. And now...

"It's time to let it go, Videl."

I'm not sure when I started crying, but as soon as those whispered words fell from his lips - and my soul, as well - I couldn't have stopped the tears, even if I wanted to. But I don't. Every drop that falls signifies a moment in my life when I've felt isolated... undesired... unwanted... unloved...

Kami... I'd forgotten just how many of those moments there have been over the years...

I'm sobbing uncontrollably now, struggling to breathe amidst the violent tremors that wrack my body and spirit alike. Goku has pulled my arms around his waist, and I'm holding onto his warm body with every ounce of strength I possess; his embrace has tightened considerably as well.

You know, as much as it hurts to feel these walls come down and the pain I've held back flow so unreservedly like this - not to mention the fact that my throat is sore as hell and I'm sure my eyes are so puffy, they're probably about three-times their normal size by now - I'm already starting to fall under a spell of peaceful... emptiness. It's like, now that the pain is being thrown out, there's all this unoccupied space and nothing there to fill it.

Spring cleaning for the soul.

I let out a laugh that sounds more like choking than chuckling since I'm still weeping against Goku's chest. Figures I would liken such a wondrous, healing revelation to something as unspectacular as housework. That alone proves that one of the first things I need to do after this afternoon's breakthrough is to start getting out more. I've been cutting myself off from the outside world for a while now, and I think it's time I get back out there and breathe some life into my nearly-forgotten adventurous nature. Perhaps I'll even start training again...

For the moment, at least, my sorrow has lessened into a dull ache and my body has stilled so that I'm lying against Goku as he rocks me gently, the soft purr in his chest soothing me like a lullaby. Kami knows I'm tired, but... "Goku? Can I ask you a question... a personal question?"

"You can ask me anything," he replies curiously, making it sound more like he's posing a question of his own rather than answering mine.

"When you were talking earlier about what it does to you when you try to bottle up your pain, it sounded like you were speaking from experience. Well, that and I've seen the way things are between you and Chichi..."

From his head's perch on top of mine, I feel him nod negligibly. "Hai..."

"I'm just curious as to how you've dealt with it. For some reason, I don't see you bawling it out like a baby," I hear him chuckle softly, bringing a momentary smile to my own lips. "I guess... I guess what I really want to know is... did you have anyone there for you, or did you have deal with it on your own?"

"No, I haven't been alone."

Thank Kami... I can't imagine trying to handle all of this by myself, and I'm relieved to know he hasn't had to, either. It makes me feel good enough to take another stab at lightening the mood a little. "So, who did Chikyuu's mightiest warrior go to when he was on the brink of an nervous breakdown?" I ask lightheartedly and lean back so that I can see his face again.

And the look he gives me before he speaks quite literally takes my breath away.

"You."

Oh... my... Kami...

For a brief instant before his lips come down to brush tenderly against mine, a single, precarious notion passes swiftly through my mind, though it's dismissed with equal speed as I chalk it up to the fact that I've just been on an emotional roller coaster and I'm still not thinking clearly.

If I wasn't already married... if he wasn't... if we didn't have our families and our friends and our obligations... if we had met at any other time and place in our lives, under any other circumstances...

I could easily have fallen in love with this man.

***

~Pure as the water, we float on this wave. On the breath of an angel, I'll fly away~

"Papa!"

I've showered... twice, washed all of my clothes... twice, touched up the house, and even had time to go to the market this morning. Knowing I've done everything I can possibly do, I turn from my place at the stove where the I'm putting the finishing touches on dinner as soon as I hear Pan's joyful greeting. Wiping my hands quickly with a dish towel, I take a deep breath and smile - a real smile - before going outside to where I hear the voices of the welcome wagon.

By the time I join the group that consists of Gohan, Pan, Chichi, and Goku, Pan's already got some type of little memento in her hands from her father's trip. "Mama, look what Papa got for me!"

I lean down to inspect the long leather string that holds some type of strange charm at the end.

"It's a dreamcatcher," she explains excitedly. "They're very special, aren't they, Ojiisan?"

"Hai," he answers with a broad grin, and he squats down so that he's eye-level with her as he takes the strange medallion into his hand. "It symbolizes your hopes and dreams so that you never forget them, no matter how old you get."

Gohan laughs good-naturedly and puts his hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Well, I don't know about that," Gohan states, "but I remembered that you wanted one, so I looked until I found the prettiest one they had. Just. like. you," he adds, punctuating the last statement by tweaking Pan's nose playfully.

As I watch him give his daughter another hug, I remember why I'm glad Gohan's home. He's a devoted father, a loyal husband, a dependable provider for his family, and a good and honest man... He's every little girl's dream come true.

What is that saying? Men cannot live by bread alone?

Then my eyes slide over to Goku. He's wise without being cynical, powerful as well as kindhearted, untamed and uninhibited, passionate, undeniably sexy... Every hot-blooded woman's fantasy made flesh.

And at this moment, I have the best of both worlds.

Too bad things this good never last very long.

***

*Lyrics: On the Breath of an Angel by Anggun

Alrighty, that's it for this installment. I'm having surgery on my arm this weekend, so updates are up in the air for the next week or so, but I'll be back as soon as I can. I have an update list now, so if you want to know as soon as this fic is updated, send a blank email to pareathe-subscribe@topica.com Until next time!

Reviewer Acknowledgements:

GiGi: Hehe, domo! Glad you like it :)

trutenor: Lol, I know, I can't believe the pairing works as well as it does, but the more I write, the more I see how they really are perfect! And I agree with you, I think Goku's smarter than he makes himself out to be.

Van Lover: Wow! The author of one of my fave B/V's and one of the very few Gh/V fics I've ever read (and enjoyed) likes my fic! *bounces happily* Thank you so much, and I'll forgive ya for the T/P mix-up... lol. That's one couple I can promise I will never, ever write... I think. *grins* And... wow... thank you so much for the compliments! Now that I've got the rest of the fic pretty much planned... I think you've got a lot to look forward to. I hope... *sweating*

Fried Wontons: Hehe, I don't think this is the best fic out there, but I'm on cloud nine that you think so! Domo!!!

lilmama: I know, I update kinda slow, but good things come to those who wait, neh? And, as tempting and as funny as it would be to me, Gohan and Chichi don't have anything going on... I'm with the reviewer that thinks they're asexual *grins*

Arashi Lioncourt: Wow... thanks!!! I have a lot planned for this fic, so I'm glad you checked it out.

christabeleve: Hehe, yeah, but can ya blame her? I mean... would you be able to resist if Goku wanted you? I know I couldn't... *grins*

AlphaOmega: Well, I have everything planned for this fic now, but I will tell you this... there will definitely be a dramatic ending, and I think it's gonna surprise a lot of people when they figure out how I plan to resolve everything... and it's not a baby *grins*.

Mili: Hehe, domo!!! And as a matter of fact, I have thought of writing a novel... it's about half done, actually. Does this mean you'd buy it if I could manage to get it published? *grins*

Goku's Daughter: Yeah, you have to forgive the slow updates... I have 3 different DBZ fics going at the moment, so each fic gets updated about once a month, barring any problems. And thanks for telling a friend about the fic, even though it's not Gh/V *grins*. When you really think about it... Goku and Videl do actually have a lot in common... trust me, I was shocked as hell when I realized that, too. *chuckles*

Jedi Master Yoda: Domo! I'll update as often as I can!

DarkDragon: If you're speechless, then I'm ecstatic! I know it was long... I definitely wasn't expecting a 30-plus page chapter, but every time I thought I was almost finished, there was... more... *eyes fic warily*

Lil Devil: Wow, thank you! I know... everyone writes Vegeta... poor Goku just doesn't get the attention he deserves. *hugs neglected bishie* That's okay though, as long as I'm around, he's gonna get lots and lots of time in my fanfics.

Burned Vamp: *sighs* Do I need to remind you of how you react when I do that to you on one of your reviews...

Goku: *clears throat* Not to mention what she's doing to that popsicle...

Geta: *smirks at Goku* Jealous, Kakarotto?

Goku: *grins back* Nah, P keeps me busy enough, unlike some Saiyajins... *grin broadens as Geta chokes and splutters* I do wonder how Gohan's gonna handle seeing that, though...

P: Well, we can bet whatever he does, it won't involve sleeping.

Goku: Hai... *purrs* Speaking of food fun and going to bed...

P: O,O

Spazzer Monkey: Unfortunately, the fact that they are able to get away with anything at all shows just how little attention Gohan pays Videl now... you'll see what happens, though *grins*

Angel: Wow, thanks! I'll try to keep it going as good as it has been.

Vegeta Goddess: Hehe, thank ya, but I don't know about the ten-times the talent thing, but I really appreciate the vote of confidence!

The Lost Saiyan: Lol, good, I'm glad you've been hooked. And thank you for the wonderful compliments!

Mk: I'll definitely be continuing... I've got a lot planned for this fic. And I've seen one other Goku/Videl fic on FF.net that I can think of... I think mine was like the second ever... though don't quote me on that. I did do a search with Goku and Videl's names though, and this one and one other were the only ones that came up when I posted the first chapter of this fic.

vsd2oc: Lol! Don't worry... I'd never expect you to read another non-Gh/V fic... hehe, but everything you said, coming from a true Gohan and Videl fan means so much. Thank you!!! And don't worry about a Gh/CC pairing... I'm not going there with this fic. And Vegeta will come into play in the next chapter... but I think he's gonna surprise ya. *grins*

Manis: *whistles* Goten and Videl? Wow... if someone does, lemme know, cause that's one I don't think I could do... and if someone can do what I can't and do it well, I want to read it!

Midnight Lilly: Hehe, oooh just wait, you'll see... *grins mischievously*

SaiyaSith: You know, I considered a baby... but I've decided against it. I think you're gonna really get a kick out of the next few chapters after this one... especially the last... 4 or 5 (depending on how it works when I write them). Thanks!

DemonQueen: Hehe, thanks! I thought a Goku/Videl pairing was a nice change of pace.

the girl who loves goku aka Felidae: *cracks up* Hehe, I think that would be another fic, eh? Let's see... Gh/CC - I could call it The Ones They Finally Get Rid Of, or maybe The Ones They Kick to the Curb... hm... *grins*

W-chan: Thank you! *grins*

spankably insane: First off... my beta reader and I (who both watch my reviews closely) think you're s/n totally rocks! *grins* And thanks! I love hearing 'wow,' hehe.

mae: *chuckles* Well, if you're reaction was even a tenth of that, then I'm elated! I know the once a month update thing is hard, but I hope to make each chapter worth it.

Saiyan Serpent: *blinks several times...* Woah... wow... thank you... I just... you nailed a lot of points in this story, and it's great to know that you're connecting with the characters on that level... definitely good to know I'm doing my job. And just you wait... this heart vs. mind tug-of-war is gonna get serious very, very soon. Thanks!

Z: *grins* I know, I was pretty proud of the dance floor scene... and I'll alternate between Videl and Goku's POV's throughout the fic so we get to see what they both think as this relationship progresses. Glad you liked it!

That should be everybody, but if I miss someone, lemme know in your new review, and I'll make sure to get ya double-good next time! :)