Fan Fiction ❯ Lord of the Rings : What REALLY happened (Behind the Book) ❯ The Death of Boromir ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Angel_Star 
So sorry guys, this is really late! Anyway, hope you enjoy!
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Action / Romance / Fantasy / Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 03.09.2003 | Pages: 6 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 283 | Status: Completed
So sorry guys, this is really late! Anyway, hope you enjoy!
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Action / Romance / Fantasy / Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 03.09.2003 | Pages: 6 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 283 | Status: Completed
Chapter 3 - The Death of Boromir
Prologue - Gandalf wakes up and notices that something is missing...
Gandalf: Where is MY hobbit weed?!?
He looks everywher and sees the Balrog running in circles, he notices that he has something in his hands, his hobbit weed
Gandalf: You Fool! Give it back to ME!!!!
The Balrog continues running in circles, ignoring Gandalf
Gandalf: GIVE IT BACK!!!!!
The Balrog suddenly stops, looks at Gandalf and then to the hobbit weed
Balrog: No! It's mine, it came to me! My own! MY PRECIOUS!!!!
Gandalf: You are beeing blinded by it's power! Give it back! I won't ask it again!
Balrog: OH YeAH! SURE! Step aside old man, i'm getting out of here!
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!
Balrog: Oh no! Cut this crap!
Gandalf gets ready to fight.
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!!
The Balrog gets ready to fight also.
Balrog: If you want it, Come and claim it!
The Balrog and Gandalf begin a fight where only one of them will be left alive...
-End of Prologue-
Meanwhile, in the great river, the fellowship sails with the stolen elf vessels, unaware of the danger that flies on top of them, Too bad that the danger is also unaware of their presence...
F. Nazgul: At least there is one good thing about working for both Saruman and Sauron, I get my weeds doubled.
The Nazgul gets some weed to smoke but ends up letting it fall
Nazgul: Carpaccio, you moron! I told you to fly smoothly, Now look what you've done!
The flying creature looks angrily at its master... But keeps heading to Mordor. The weed ends up falling on Legolas' boat.
Legolas: Look master Dwarf, something fell from the sky!
Gimli: gimme that!
Gimli picks up the weed and smells it
Gimli: By causin Balin's grave! It's hobbit weed!
Legolas: Great! Let's tell the others!
Gimli: No! you stupid! the others don't have to know, we'll share for us both!
Legolas thinks for a sec, than looks malisciously at Gimli
Legolas: OK master dwarf, but first, you'll have to do something for me...
Gimli: What?
Legolas approaches Gimli and starts speaking on his ear. Meanwhile, on Boromir's boat. Boromir is seeing Gollum on their pursuit. Merry and Pippin are looking scaredly at him...
Merry: What's the matter with the water Boromir?
Pippin: Maybe that giant octopus that almost ate Frodo in the entrance of the mines of Moria wants revenge! Afterall, you guys cut of it's tentacles.
Boromir: It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault! You guys woke him up!
Merry and Pippin have a Flashback
-FlashBack-
Merry, Pippin and Gandalf are trying to solve the puzzle entrance to the mines of Moria, while the rest of the fellowship is asleep.
Merry: Whe're tired Gandalf! You are supossed to be the wise guy around here!
Pippin: YEAh! You should've solved this puzzle years ago!
Gandalf: Why don't you go and do something usefull!
Merry and Pippin think for a sec and mins later, they are throwing rocks at the water. Bill, The poney wakes up.
Bill: Don't disturb the water!
Pippin: Shut up Bill!
Merry: YeAH! What does a poney know about the water!
Bill: Don't disturb the water!
Pippin: Oh, give us a break Bill!
Merry: YeAH! You are only part of the fellowship because we needed someone to carry our stuff!
Bill: Don't disturb the water!
the fellowship wakes up, with the noise of the rocks
Gimli: What the hell is this noise??
Aragorn: It's just Merry and Pippin disturbing the water again!
Bill: Don't disturb the water.
Aragorn: Gandalf you still didn't figure out how to open this crap??
Gandalf: There must be some kind of code...
Suddenly, Gimli notices something wrong
Gimli: Legolas, you've stolen my mellon!!
the door opens
Legolas: No, I didn't even see your mellon!
the door closes, as Gandalf watches in disbelief
Gimli: Boromir! It was you who stole my mellon!
the door continues open and closing while Gimli interrogates the fellowship, Gandalf finally figures out
Gandalf: Shut up you fools! My wonderfull mind has just discovered the password! Now everyone, don't say mellon ever again!
the door closes
Gandalf: Mellon!
the door opens
Merry: But you told us not to say mellon ever again!
the door closes
Gandalf: Don't say Mellon from now on!
the door opens, as they are going in, Merry throws a last rock in the water, something grabs Frodo and Bill
Frodo: Help!!!!!
Sam: A giant octopus is trying to eat Mr.Frodo!!
Bill: What about me?
Sam faints
Aragorn: Where? I can't see!
Legolas: Me neither!
Legolas starts shooting everywhere
While Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli are trying to fight the "invisible" octopus, Boromir is sitting down speaking to himself
Boromir: It should've been mine. It should've been mine.
Gandalf: WAKE UP YOU FOOL!!! FRODO IS IN DANGER!!!
Boromir: DIE YOU MONSTER!!!
He cuts the octopus' tentacles that were holding Frodo
Bill: Guys? What about me?
They ignore Bill, and the octopus eats him
Frodo: Boromir you saved me!
He kisses Boromir on the cheek, Sam, that had just awaken gets jealous
Sam: You bastard!!
hits Boromir
Sam: He is MINE!!!
-End of Flashback-
They reached land, The fellowship begins to rest, Sam begins to cook when he notices Frodo is missing
Sam: Hey, where is Mr.Frodo?
Aragorn looks around
Aragorn: It seems Boromir is missing too.
Sam: That bastard is trying to seduce Mr.Frodo!
Aragorn: There are too many dangers in these river banks, we shouldn't separate.
Gimli and Legolas exchange looks
Legolas: Lets look for them
Gimli: YeAh! Me and Legolas go to this side, the rest goes to the other!
The 2 of them burst into the woods
Aragorn: Hey! I am the leader! I am supposed to choose the groups!
Merry and Pippin: Yeah,Yeah, sure, we will go taht way.
Sam: That leaves you with me, Mr. Aragorn.
Aragorn rolls his eyes
Meanwhile, in the woods...
Boromir: Give it to me, Frodo.
Frodo: No Way! I like jewelry!
Boromir: What are you talking about? I want that round weed!
Frodo: What? That's not a weed Boromir!
Boromir: Give me the round weed!
Frodo: That is my ring Boromir! It's not a weed!
Boromir: Yes it is a weed, and it belongs to the white city! I am asking you the power to save my people and you are denying it to me?
Frodo: Boromir, you are scaring me!
Boromir: IT SHOULD'VE BEEN MINE!!!!!!!!!
Frodo:AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mea nwhile, in the other part of the woods...
Gimli: uhhhh!! That's sweet!
Legolas: ahhh! Sure it is! Wait a second Gimli, let's save some for later!
Gimli: No Way! I am smoking this shit NOW!
Legolas:All right! ahhhhh!!!
Meanwhile, in ANOTHER part of the woods...
Merry: This is so boring! We need to look for that faggot frodo!
Pippin: YeAh! We should be taking the ring! We are the only common people around here! We are not Gay!
In ANOTHER part of the forest...
The fierce Urukhai are aproaching their target.
Ugluk: Ugluk is hearing voices!
Featured orc: I ain t hearing nothing!
Ugluk: I boss! I hear voice! I is smart! You dumb! I always right! You always wrong!
Featured orc: Please! The only thing you manage to spell is SARUMAN!
orc gang: UGHUGHUHGUHGUHGUHGUHUGHUHGUHGUH
Ugluk roars with rage
Ugluk: You think me is joke?
Featured orc: Well... YeAh!!
Ugluk draws his sword and decapitates the featured orc, looks at the others
Ugluk: Anyone else think me is joke?
orcs look at each other
Ugluk: Me ask question, you give answer!
orcs: no.
Back to Frodo and Boromir
Boromir: GIVE IT TO ME!!! GIVE IT TO ME!!!
Frodo puts the ring and disapears
Boromir: Quit playing those gayish games Frodo! Give me the weed!!!
while invivsible Frodo is haunted by the fiery eye of Sauron.
Eye:I SEE YOU!!!!
Frodo:Now you dont!
Frodo takes the ring off and finds Aragorn and Sam staring at him.
Aragorn:Frodo you ve beeing using the ring to play again?
Sam:Mr.Frodo did that crepp layed a hand on you?
Frodo:Yes!Boromir is mad!he tried to rape me!
Sam:I knew it!That bastard!
While Frodo tells his lies to aragorn and sam,pippin and merry meet up with boromir
Boromir:IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!!!!
Pippin:GREAT!WE are sent out to find gay Frodo and end up finding crazy assed Boromir!!!!
Legolas and Gimli meet up with them also,they have smoked all the weed
Legolas:Gimli look!AN ORC IS TRYING TO KIDNAP MERRY AND PIPPIN!
Gimli:I SEE HIM TOO!KILL HIM LEGOLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legolas shoots an arrow at Boromir,he turns around and sees him and Gimli as an orc
Boromir:ORCS!PROTECT YOURSELF YOUNG HOBBITS!I WILL SAVE YOU EVEN IF I HAVE TO SACRIFICE MYSELF!
Merry:MY GOD!THEY RE SEEING EACH OTHER AS ORCS!!!!!!!!!THEYRE GOING TO KILL THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boromir and Legolas start fighting each other while Merry and Pippin watch in horror while Legolas keeps shooting arrows at Boromir.The real orcs arrive at the battle scene.
Ugluk:HUHUHUH!Dumb men SMOKE WEED AND KILL EACH OTHER!
Featured orc 2:Like they were the only one to kill each other,you already killed 13 of us just because we made fun of you!
Ugluk kills the featured orc
Ugluk:NOW ME KILLS 12!HUHUHUH!ME SMART ME KNOWS HOW TO COUNT!
Gimli notices the real orcs
Gimli:OH HELL!THERE S MORE OF THEM!
Ugluk:GET THE SMALL ONES!KILL THE BLONDE CHICK!
Boromir half dead lays on the floor while Legolas revolted by the insult aims at Ugluk, While Frodo finishes telling his lie.
Aragorn: Boromir would never abuse from you, Frodo!
Frodo: Yes he would! And he tried!
Aragorn: No! He is a man like I am!
Frodo starts giggling
Aragorn: What?
Frodo: He also said that, but it was before he knew me!
Aragorn: You mean that I am going to fall in love with you?? That is absurd!!
Frodo: They all do, right Sam??
Sam: YeAh, Mr.Frodo!!
Aragorn: How dare you? Are you insinuating I am gay?
Frodo: You look like one!
Aragorn draws his sword
Aragorn: I'll give you 10 secs. to run because we are friends, then, I am going to castrate you!
Frodo: It's late for that!
Sam: YeAh!
Aragorn: Your sicker than I thought, I am going to kill you now!
Aragorn gets ready to decapitate Frodo, but Frodo points to his back and yells:
Frodo: ORCS!!!
Aragorn: did you really think I would fall for that one?
Featured orc 3: GET THE HALFLINGS!! KILL THE HUMAN!!!
Aragorn: OH SHIT, ORCS!!!!
The army of \Urukhai march to fight with Aragorn while Frodo and Sam run into the river, since Sam is fat he gets way behind.
Sam: Wait for me Mr.Frodo!!
Frodo: HECK NO, SAM!!
Frodo gets to the boat and starts to leave
Sam: Mr.Frodo, I can't swim!!
Frodo: That's not my problem! By the way, give me one good reason why I should wait for you??
Sam: Who would satisfy your sexual desires??
Frodo stops and thinks for a sec, grabs Sam and continues leaving, meanwhile Aragorn reaches the spot where Boromir, Legolas and Pippin are. Legolas is crying desperetly while Boromir is half dead.
Aragorn: Legolas, what happened?
Legolas continues crying
Legolas: HELL HAPPENED!! HELL HAPPENED!!
Aragorn: I know, i've seen the dead guy!
Boromir(struggling): Hey guys, I'am not dead yet!
Legolas continues yelling
Aragorn(slapping Legolas on the face): CONTROL YOURSELF!
Legolas: HELL, HELL HELL!!!!!!!!!!
Pippin(beginning to laugh): They've mistaken me with Gimli.
Aragorn(trying not to laugh): OH! I see.... Well, we must do something to Boromir's body...
Boromir: I am not dead yet guys!
They ignore him, with the struggle Boromir faints, when he wakes up, he is in a boat
Boromir: Where am I?? OH SHIT!!!
Boromir's boat falls down a gigantic waterfall, In other part of the woods
Aragorn: He was a good companion, I'll miss him, but at least now aI can keep this cool bracelet!
Legolas: Great our leader steals from the dead.
Pippin: Where do we go now?
Aragorn: Find Merry and Gimli.
Legolas: What about Sam and Frodo?
Aragorn: Sam and Frodo aren't our problem anymore.
Pippin: Thank God!!
-Epilogue-
The Urukhai are now on the entrance of Rohan
Featured orc 4: Are you sure this is a safe way to Isengard?
Ugluk: Safer way possible, me good leader, me never put we in danger situation, this shortcut!
From the top of a nearby hill, Eomer and 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,000 Rohan knights watch the orcs
Eomer: Orc Barbecue guys!
R. Knights: YeAh!!!!!!!!!!!
-Epilogue 2-
Somewhere in the road to Mordor...
Sam: Glad that we are alone now, Mr. Frodo!
Frodo: I am glad your with me Sam.
Sam and Frodo are almost kissing when Gollum pops up from a tree.
Gollum: Hobbits is no alone! Us Smeagol Gollum! Us crazy paranoic creature! Us follows precious!
Sam and Frodo: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To Be Continued...
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR
Hi, I am so sorry guys...
This is so late! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!
Review please, cause if you don't, I wont post the next chapter any sooner than 2 months! Just kidding!
Thanks for Reading,
*Angel Star*
Do you like DBZ? Check my DBZ fic, Big Bubble Z!
Prologue - Gandalf wakes up and notices that something is missing...
Gandalf: Where is MY hobbit weed?!?
He looks everywher and sees the Balrog running in circles, he notices that he has something in his hands, his hobbit weed
Gandalf: You Fool! Give it back to ME!!!!
The Balrog continues running in circles, ignoring Gandalf
Gandalf: GIVE IT BACK!!!!!
The Balrog suddenly stops, looks at Gandalf and then to the hobbit weed
Balrog: No! It's mine, it came to me! My own! MY PRECIOUS!!!!
Gandalf: You are beeing blinded by it's power! Give it back! I won't ask it again!
Balrog: OH YeAH! SURE! Step aside old man, i'm getting out of here!
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!
Balrog: Oh no! Cut this crap!
Gandalf gets ready to fight.
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!!
The Balrog gets ready to fight also.
Balrog: If you want it, Come and claim it!
The Balrog and Gandalf begin a fight where only one of them will be left alive...
-End of Prologue-
Meanwhile, in the great river, the fellowship sails with the stolen elf vessels, unaware of the danger that flies on top of them, Too bad that the danger is also unaware of their presence...
F. Nazgul: At least there is one good thing about working for both Saruman and Sauron, I get my weeds doubled.
The Nazgul gets some weed to smoke but ends up letting it fall
Nazgul: Carpaccio, you moron! I told you to fly smoothly, Now look what you've done!
The flying creature looks angrily at its master... But keeps heading to Mordor. The weed ends up falling on Legolas' boat.
Legolas: Look master Dwarf, something fell from the sky!
Gimli: gimme that!
Gimli picks up the weed and smells it
Gimli: By causin Balin's grave! It's hobbit weed!
Legolas: Great! Let's tell the others!
Gimli: No! you stupid! the others don't have to know, we'll share for us both!
Legolas thinks for a sec, than looks malisciously at Gimli
Legolas: OK master dwarf, but first, you'll have to do something for me...
Gimli: What?
Legolas approaches Gimli and starts speaking on his ear. Meanwhile, on Boromir's boat. Boromir is seeing Gollum on their pursuit. Merry and Pippin are looking scaredly at him...
Merry: What's the matter with the water Boromir?
Pippin: Maybe that giant octopus that almost ate Frodo in the entrance of the mines of Moria wants revenge! Afterall, you guys cut of it's tentacles.
Boromir: It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault! You guys woke him up!
Merry and Pippin have a Flashback
-FlashBack-
Merry, Pippin and Gandalf are trying to solve the puzzle entrance to the mines of Moria, while the rest of the fellowship is asleep.
Merry: Whe're tired Gandalf! You are supossed to be the wise guy around here!
Pippin: YEAh! You should've solved this puzzle years ago!
Gandalf: Why don't you go and do something usefull!
Merry and Pippin think for a sec and mins later, they are throwing rocks at the water. Bill, The poney wakes up.
Bill: Don't disturb the water!
Pippin: Shut up Bill!
Merry: YeAH! What does a poney know about the water!
Bill: Don't disturb the water!
Pippin: Oh, give us a break Bill!
Merry: YeAH! You are only part of the fellowship because we needed someone to carry our stuff!
Bill: Don't disturb the water!
the fellowship wakes up, with the noise of the rocks
Gimli: What the hell is this noise??
Aragorn: It's just Merry and Pippin disturbing the water again!
Bill: Don't disturb the water.
Aragorn: Gandalf you still didn't figure out how to open this crap??
Gandalf: There must be some kind of code...
Suddenly, Gimli notices something wrong
Gimli: Legolas, you've stolen my mellon!!
the door opens
Legolas: No, I didn't even see your mellon!
the door closes, as Gandalf watches in disbelief
Gimli: Boromir! It was you who stole my mellon!
the door continues open and closing while Gimli interrogates the fellowship, Gandalf finally figures out
Gandalf: Shut up you fools! My wonderfull mind has just discovered the password! Now everyone, don't say mellon ever again!
the door closes
Gandalf: Mellon!
the door opens
Merry: But you told us not to say mellon ever again!
the door closes
Gandalf: Don't say Mellon from now on!
the door opens, as they are going in, Merry throws a last rock in the water, something grabs Frodo and Bill
Frodo: Help!!!!!
Sam: A giant octopus is trying to eat Mr.Frodo!!
Bill: What about me?
Sam faints
Aragorn: Where? I can't see!
Legolas: Me neither!
Legolas starts shooting everywhere
While Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli are trying to fight the "invisible" octopus, Boromir is sitting down speaking to himself
Boromir: It should've been mine. It should've been mine.
Gandalf: WAKE UP YOU FOOL!!! FRODO IS IN DANGER!!!
Boromir: DIE YOU MONSTER!!!
He cuts the octopus' tentacles that were holding Frodo
Bill: Guys? What about me?
They ignore Bill, and the octopus eats him
Frodo: Boromir you saved me!
He kisses Boromir on the cheek, Sam, that had just awaken gets jealous
Sam: You bastard!!
hits Boromir
Sam: He is MINE!!!
-End of Flashback-
They reached land, The fellowship begins to rest, Sam begins to cook when he notices Frodo is missing
Sam: Hey, where is Mr.Frodo?
Aragorn looks around
Aragorn: It seems Boromir is missing too.
Sam: That bastard is trying to seduce Mr.Frodo!
Aragorn: There are too many dangers in these river banks, we shouldn't separate.
Gimli and Legolas exchange looks
Legolas: Lets look for them
Gimli: YeAh! Me and Legolas go to this side, the rest goes to the other!
The 2 of them burst into the woods
Aragorn: Hey! I am the leader! I am supposed to choose the groups!
Merry and Pippin: Yeah,Yeah, sure, we will go taht way.
Sam: That leaves you with me, Mr. Aragorn.
Aragorn rolls his eyes
Meanwhile, in the woods...
Boromir: Give it to me, Frodo.
Frodo: No Way! I like jewelry!
Boromir: What are you talking about? I want that round weed!
Frodo: What? That's not a weed Boromir!
Boromir: Give me the round weed!
Frodo: That is my ring Boromir! It's not a weed!
Boromir: Yes it is a weed, and it belongs to the white city! I am asking you the power to save my people and you are denying it to me?
Frodo: Boromir, you are scaring me!
Boromir: IT SHOULD'VE BEEN MINE!!!!!!!!!
Frodo:AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mea nwhile, in the other part of the woods...
Gimli: uhhhh!! That's sweet!
Legolas: ahhh! Sure it is! Wait a second Gimli, let's save some for later!
Gimli: No Way! I am smoking this shit NOW!
Legolas:All right! ahhhhh!!!
Meanwhile, in ANOTHER part of the woods...
Merry: This is so boring! We need to look for that faggot frodo!
Pippin: YeAh! We should be taking the ring! We are the only common people around here! We are not Gay!
In ANOTHER part of the forest...
The fierce Urukhai are aproaching their target.
Ugluk: Ugluk is hearing voices!
Featured orc: I ain t hearing nothing!
Ugluk: I boss! I hear voice! I is smart! You dumb! I always right! You always wrong!
Featured orc: Please! The only thing you manage to spell is SARUMAN!
orc gang: UGHUGHUHGUHGUHGUHGUHUGHUHGUHGUH
Ugluk roars with rage
Ugluk: You think me is joke?
Featured orc: Well... YeAh!!
Ugluk draws his sword and decapitates the featured orc, looks at the others
Ugluk: Anyone else think me is joke?
orcs look at each other
Ugluk: Me ask question, you give answer!
orcs: no.
Back to Frodo and Boromir
Boromir: GIVE IT TO ME!!! GIVE IT TO ME!!!
Frodo puts the ring and disapears
Boromir: Quit playing those gayish games Frodo! Give me the weed!!!
while invivsible Frodo is haunted by the fiery eye of Sauron.
Eye:I SEE YOU!!!!
Frodo:Now you dont!
Frodo takes the ring off and finds Aragorn and Sam staring at him.
Aragorn:Frodo you ve beeing using the ring to play again?
Sam:Mr.Frodo did that crepp layed a hand on you?
Frodo:Yes!Boromir is mad!he tried to rape me!
Sam:I knew it!That bastard!
While Frodo tells his lies to aragorn and sam,pippin and merry meet up with boromir
Boromir:IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!!!!
Pippin:GREAT!WE are sent out to find gay Frodo and end up finding crazy assed Boromir!!!!
Legolas and Gimli meet up with them also,they have smoked all the weed
Legolas:Gimli look!AN ORC IS TRYING TO KIDNAP MERRY AND PIPPIN!
Gimli:I SEE HIM TOO!KILL HIM LEGOLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legolas shoots an arrow at Boromir,he turns around and sees him and Gimli as an orc
Boromir:ORCS!PROTECT YOURSELF YOUNG HOBBITS!I WILL SAVE YOU EVEN IF I HAVE TO SACRIFICE MYSELF!
Merry:MY GOD!THEY RE SEEING EACH OTHER AS ORCS!!!!!!!!!THEYRE GOING TO KILL THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boromir and Legolas start fighting each other while Merry and Pippin watch in horror while Legolas keeps shooting arrows at Boromir.The real orcs arrive at the battle scene.
Ugluk:HUHUHUH!Dumb men SMOKE WEED AND KILL EACH OTHER!
Featured orc 2:Like they were the only one to kill each other,you already killed 13 of us just because we made fun of you!
Ugluk kills the featured orc
Ugluk:NOW ME KILLS 12!HUHUHUH!ME SMART ME KNOWS HOW TO COUNT!
Gimli notices the real orcs
Gimli:OH HELL!THERE S MORE OF THEM!
Ugluk:GET THE SMALL ONES!KILL THE BLONDE CHICK!
Boromir half dead lays on the floor while Legolas revolted by the insult aims at Ugluk, While Frodo finishes telling his lie.
Aragorn: Boromir would never abuse from you, Frodo!
Frodo: Yes he would! And he tried!
Aragorn: No! He is a man like I am!
Frodo starts giggling
Aragorn: What?
Frodo: He also said that, but it was before he knew me!
Aragorn: You mean that I am going to fall in love with you?? That is absurd!!
Frodo: They all do, right Sam??
Sam: YeAh, Mr.Frodo!!
Aragorn: How dare you? Are you insinuating I am gay?
Frodo: You look like one!
Aragorn draws his sword
Aragorn: I'll give you 10 secs. to run because we are friends, then, I am going to castrate you!
Frodo: It's late for that!
Sam: YeAh!
Aragorn: Your sicker than I thought, I am going to kill you now!
Aragorn gets ready to decapitate Frodo, but Frodo points to his back and yells:
Frodo: ORCS!!!
Aragorn: did you really think I would fall for that one?
Featured orc 3: GET THE HALFLINGS!! KILL THE HUMAN!!!
Aragorn: OH SHIT, ORCS!!!!
The army of \Urukhai march to fight with Aragorn while Frodo and Sam run into the river, since Sam is fat he gets way behind.
Sam: Wait for me Mr.Frodo!!
Frodo: HECK NO, SAM!!
Frodo gets to the boat and starts to leave
Sam: Mr.Frodo, I can't swim!!
Frodo: That's not my problem! By the way, give me one good reason why I should wait for you??
Sam: Who would satisfy your sexual desires??
Frodo stops and thinks for a sec, grabs Sam and continues leaving, meanwhile Aragorn reaches the spot where Boromir, Legolas and Pippin are. Legolas is crying desperetly while Boromir is half dead.
Aragorn: Legolas, what happened?
Legolas continues crying
Legolas: HELL HAPPENED!! HELL HAPPENED!!
Aragorn: I know, i've seen the dead guy!
Boromir(struggling): Hey guys, I'am not dead yet!
Legolas continues yelling
Aragorn(slapping Legolas on the face): CONTROL YOURSELF!
Legolas: HELL, HELL HELL!!!!!!!!!!
Pippin(beginning to laugh): They've mistaken me with Gimli.
Aragorn(trying not to laugh): OH! I see.... Well, we must do something to Boromir's body...
Boromir: I am not dead yet guys!
They ignore him, with the struggle Boromir faints, when he wakes up, he is in a boat
Boromir: Where am I?? OH SHIT!!!
Boromir's boat falls down a gigantic waterfall, In other part of the woods
Aragorn: He was a good companion, I'll miss him, but at least now aI can keep this cool bracelet!
Legolas: Great our leader steals from the dead.
Pippin: Where do we go now?
Aragorn: Find Merry and Gimli.
Legolas: What about Sam and Frodo?
Aragorn: Sam and Frodo aren't our problem anymore.
Pippin: Thank God!!
-Epilogue-
The Urukhai are now on the entrance of Rohan
Featured orc 4: Are you sure this is a safe way to Isengard?
Ugluk: Safer way possible, me good leader, me never put we in danger situation, this shortcut!
From the top of a nearby hill, Eomer and 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,000 Rohan knights watch the orcs
Eomer: Orc Barbecue guys!
R. Knights: YeAh!!!!!!!!!!!
-Epilogue 2-
Somewhere in the road to Mordor...
Sam: Glad that we are alone now, Mr. Frodo!
Frodo: I am glad your with me Sam.
Sam and Frodo are almost kissing when Gollum pops up from a tree.
Gollum: Hobbits is no alone! Us Smeagol Gollum! Us crazy paranoic creature! Us follows precious!
Sam and Frodo: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To Be Continued...
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Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR
Hi, I am so sorry guys...
This is so late! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!
Review please, cause if you don't, I wont post the next chapter any sooner than 2 months! Just kidding!
Thanks for Reading,
*Angel Star*
Do you like DBZ? Check my DBZ fic, Big Bubble Z!