InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Home for Kagome ❯ Search ( Chapter 7 )

DISCLAIMER: Rumiko Takahashi, now and forever, owns 'Inuyasha' and all characters involved. I, now and forever, own nothing but my own twisted plot and any original characters I might add. Hope this settles any confusion. Please don't sue me, I'm broke.

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: First of all, I would like to offer apologies for all my spelling/grammar mistakes in the pervious chapters. I've gone through and updated now, but I was surprised by just how many I had missed. Because of this, I have decided I really need a beta reader. If anyone would be interested, could you please send me an email? Thank you so much.

 

Chapter 7 - Search

 

Winter came quickly after the incident with Koga. Barely two days had past before the first snow started falling. Kagome's recovery on the other hand, came much more slowly. For the next few days she refused to leave her room or even get out of bed if it wasn't completely necessary, and Inuyasha and the others feared that Koga had scared her badly enough that he had undone all of the progress she had made since the attack.

 

That wasn't exactly true, however. Yes, Koga had scared Kagome badly, and yes he had forced her to relive things she desperately wanted to forget. And while this did rest heavily on her mind for the first few days, she was able to put that to the back of her mind must faster than Inuyasha and the others realised. Instead, after a couple of days she found herself becoming ashamed. Ashamed of the way she had reacted. She had been kidnapped dozens of times in the past. Hell, Koga himself had grabbed her like that more than once, and she'd never reacted like that before. The old Kagome would never have broken down like that. She'd been so damn hysterical she had been completely oblivious to the world around her. What must Inuyasha think of her now that he'd seen her breaking down like that? She'd been holding onto the hope that she could one day return to being the girl she had been, the girl he had fallen in love with, but after that she wasn't so sure she could anymore. Would Inuyasha still want her if she turned into a snivelling little weakling? Of course he wouldn't, Inuyasha hated weakness, and after that he must have realised just how weak she'd become. There was no way he'd still want her for his mate after that. She was so ashamed of herself that she couldn't bring herself to even look Inuyasha in the eye for days.

 

Inuyasha had been alarmed when the scent of shame started to work its way back into Kagome's beautiful scent. He'd been even more worried when it became clear that she couldn't look him in the eye anymore. He had tried to talk to her of course, but at first she had been reluctant to speak about what was upsetting her so much, and Inuyasha was worried about pushing her to far before she was ready. However after a week of this, whatever was troubling her started to affect her appetite and she started skipping meals. At this point Inuyasha decided enough was more than enough. He banished the others from the hut for the day, pulled Kagome into his arms and refused to release her until she told him what was bothering her. After a few minutes in which she struggled futilely to get away, Kagome broke down and told him her fears through bouts of tears.

 

Inuyasha was somewhat shocked. She thought that because she had gotten upset when that asshole wolf had thoughtlessly grabbed her that he wouldn't want her anymore? Was she really that insure about his feelings for her? Then again, if she was he couldn't really blame her, how often had he run off to see Kikyo in the past leaving her behind? How often had he made her feel like she was second best? He also realised that he hadn't actually told her he loved her or wanted her to one day be his mate since that night in her room. At the time, he thought it was for the best that he didn't tell her. He hadn't wanted to make her feel like she was under any kind of pressure from him, and besides he wasn't very good with words anyway. Now he was worried that instead he had inadvertently made her think he didn't want her after all.

 

After Kagome had finished crying and calmed down enough to listen to him, Inuyasha spent the next several hours trying to convince Kagome that he did still love her and wanted her for his mate when she felt she was ready. He knew that what had happened to her was a very traumatic, and that he knew it would take time to recover from it. Actually, the very fact that she tried so hard to put it behind her, that she refused to give into her despair and kept fighting, just proved to him how strong she was and made him love her that much more.

 

It took a while, but finally Inuyasha managed to make Kagome believe him. Relieved that Inuyasha still loved and wanted her, and touched by how he said he so proud of her for the way she kept fighting to get better, Kagome vowed to herself that she would continue to fight until she was able to finally put this whole awful incident behind her. She truly wanted to get better and become Inuyasha's mate.

 

###

 

By the time the first month of winter was over, Kagome felt she was well and truly over the set back caused by Koga's attempted abduction. By the time they was halfway into the second month, Kagome was clearly back on the road to recovery and feeling overall much happier. By the time the second month was over, Kagome was starting to feel she was going insane from being cooped up too long. She knew her friends were just worried about her, especially with how she had broken down that day just before the start of winter, but really they were being so overprotective it was like they were smothering her. It didn't help that the cold weather was restricting her movements so much. As mild was that winter was, it was still rather cold and Kagome wasn't able to spend nearly as much time outside as she would have liked.

 

By the time the final month of winter was underway, Kagome had come to a decision. Once the snow was melted and spring had started, she and the others were going out to look for the Jewel Shards again. Not only did she really need to get out more (or risk going insane), but she also knew full well they needed to collect the rest of the Jewel Shards and stop Naraku. Who knew how much stronger he had gotten while they were all just sitting around all winter?

 

It took a while for Kagome to convince Miroku and Sango that it would be okay for her to start travelling again come spring, but finally they relented that it was her decision and that they would be okay with travelling again if she felt up to it. Shippo, who's opinion that Kagome could do anything had come back at some point during the winter, was just excited at the idea of heading out again.

 

Inuyasha, on the other hand, was pig-headedly against the idea from the very beginning. He had no intention of letting his `intended mate' (as he'd started calling her a few weeks prior, much to the delight of the others) run off to face such danger, especially when he wasn't fully convinced she had recovered. It took a full two days of arguing, threats and begging, but in the end Kagome got her way. As Kagome pointed out, she needed to start to take risks and push herself out of her comfort zone. Other wise she might never fully recover, and just stay as she had been forever. Besides, the village wasn't exactly completely safe either. No less than five youkai had attacked the village over the course of the winter, attracted by the Jewel Shards Kagome carried. In the end, Inuyasha relented, on the condition that they keep their journeys short and that Kagome stayed close to him at all times.

 

###

 

A few weeks into spring, and the gang was currently travelling in search for the Jewel Shards, for the first time in months. Despite fears over how Kagome would handle travelling again, she seemed to be holding up very well. She seemed a little nervous and was sticking a little closer to Inuyasha than usual, but other than that she seemed to be doing okay. Still, the others couldn't help but worry about her, especially Inuyasha who made certain that the group travelled at a much slower pace and stopped for the night much soon than they usually did. Kagome appreciated his concern, even if she couldn't help but feel a little guilty about slowing the group down. Inuyasha saw this fairly quickly, and approached her about it the third night out.

 

“Don't feel guilty.” Inuyasha said to her softly, as she sat tending the fire after dinner. Sango sat a short distance away polishing Hiraikotsu while Miroku lay passed out next to him (he had started grouping Sango again near the end of winter, when he had lost himself to temptation after it became apparent Kagome would be okay as long as he didn't try to group her). Shippo also sat a short distance from the fire, eating one of Kagome's last chocolate bars that she had given him for `dessert'.

 

“What?” Kagome asked, surprised and not quite sure what he was talking about. His comment had come out of nowhere.

 

“I know you feel guilty that we're not travelling as fast as we usually do.” Inuyasha said calmly. “Well, don't. None of us have been travelling for quite some time now, there's nothing wrong with going a little slower than usual while we get back into practice. Besides, without any rumours of the Shikon Jewel or Naraku, it ain't like we're in that big a hurry to get anywhere anyway. So don't feel guilty.”

 

Kagome looked down and bit her lip. “I, I just hate feeling like I'm a burden to all of you.” She admitted, her private fear of the last few months finally coming out. “You've all been trying so hard to look after me these last few months, and I just keep slowing you all down.”

 

“You're not slowing us down Kagome.” Inuyasha said firmly. “You're not a burden. We all love you and we want to help you. You know you'd do the same for any of us if we needed it.” Kagome smiled slightly, it was true she would be happy to help any of her friends out if they needed it. The realisation made her feel much better.

 

“There, see.” Inuyasha said, noticing the smile. “So stop feeling guilty all the time, you have nothing to feel that way about.” With that he gently kissed her on the forehead, making Kagome smile even more. Ever since their talk at the beginning of winter, Inuyasha had been working that much harder to make sure Kagome remembered that he loved and wanted her. He was careful not to do anything that might scare her, or push her too far. He did however give her small gestures of how he felt. Holding her hand when they walked side by side; a gentle hug; a kiss on the cheek or forehead. All little signs of his love and devotion for her and all greatly appreciated by her.

 

Suddenly, the happy and peaceful mode was broken when Inuyasha started sniffing the air frantically and jumped to his feet with a growl. The others all looked at him (even Miroku who had just started to come around), surprised by the sudden change in his behaviour.

 

“Inuyasha, what's wrong?” Kagome asked, and part of Inuyasha couldn't help but be proud of the almost calm tone of her voice. A few months ago she would have been so scared by such a abrupt change in him.

 

“I smell wolves, coming this way.” He said, gripping Tetsusaiga's hilt firmly. “Demon wolves.”

 

“Is it Koga?” Sango demanded, coming to her feet as well. She hadn't yet forgiven Koga for scaring Kagome so badly that day.

 

“No, but they smell like they're from his pack.” Inuyasha said after taking another sniff. He was almost certain he knew which wolves it was, but why would they be seeking them out now?

 

Sure enough, a few minutes later Koga's two right hand men (or demons, I should say), Ginta and Hakkaku came into sight panting slightly.

 

“There you all are.” Hakkaku said as the two of them came to a stop. “Finally.”

 

Ginta nodded. “We went to that village of yours looking for you, but we were told you'd left the day before. We've been looking for you ever since.”

 

“Why were you looking for us?” Inuyasha asked with a slight growl. He'd never liked wolves, but his opinion of them had dropped even further after their last encounter with Koga.

 

“Koga sent us.” Hakkaku answered. “He had a message for you, but said for some reason he didn't think you'd want to see him, sister.” Hakkaku didn't bother to hide his confusion at this. Koga had disappeared for over a month at the end of autumn, after he said he was going on a trip to Kagome's village which for him should have only taken a day or two. What was left of their pack had been so worried about him, fearing that maybe he had finally fallen victim to Naraku. Then when he finally did return, he had been miserable for days, saying that he and the pack should stay away from Kagome and her pack for the foreseeable future, but refusing to tell them why. Ginta and Hakkaku had wondered in private if maybe Inuyasha had finally taken Kagome for his mate, but seeing them now they could smell that this wasn't the case.

 

“What message?” Kagome asked, calmly. Surprisingly (or perhaps not, considering Kagome's forgiving nature), she was the only one who held no grudge against Koga for what had happened that day.

 

“Koga was attacked by Naraku four days ago.” Ginta said seriously. “He took his Jewel Shards.” Inuyasha grumbled a couple of choice swear words under his breath.

 

“Is he okay?” Kagome asked, concerned. While Kagome may not care for Koga the way he did her, she still didn't want anything to happen to him.

 

“Not right now, but he will be.” Hakkaku said. “Demons heal fast.”

 

“I know.” Kagome said, glancing towards Inuyasha slightly. “Believe me, I know. Tell Koga I hope he gets better.”

 

Ginta and Hakkaku nodded and left. They wanted to get back to the den as quickly as possible. Besides, the way Inuyasha and the slayer were glaring at them was rather disturbing. What the hell did Koga do for them to get this kind of reaction?

 

“Well, this isn't good.” Miroku spoke up. “Koga's shards were among the few left that Naraku didn't have. He'll be even stronger now.”

 

“Not much we can do about it though.” Sango said grimly. “At least we still have a few ourselves, plus there's still the one in Kohaku's back.”

 

“Nothing we can do tonight.” Inuyasha said, plonking back down on the ground. “And the fleabag was sure to lose them sooner or later anyway. We might as well go to bed now and start out early in the morning.”

 

The others nodded, and all headed to their sleeping areas. As Kagome lay down in her sleeping bag, Inuyasha made sure to sit down with his back against a tree right next to her.

 

“Goodnight Inuyasha.” Kagome said softly as she started to drift off to sleep.

 

Inuyasha leaned over her to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, before muttering “Goodnight Kagome” and leaning back to go to sleep himself, a slight smile on both of their faces.

 

###

 

Inuyasha wasn't sure how much later it was when he woke up, or what it was that woke him. All he knew was that the fire had burned down to a couple of coals and it was still pitch black out. His friends were all still asleep, and for once Kagome wasn't having any nightmares. In truth, she didn't get them very often anymore, but naturally Inuyasha still worried about her.

 

As Inuyasha happily contemplated how peaceful she looked, he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Glancing over, he was greeted with the sight of Soul Collectors moving above the trees a short distance from the camp, just as a shift in breeze alerted him to the reek of graveyard soil.

 

Inuyasha resisted the urge to swear solely because he did not wish to wake the others. He should have known this would happen sooner or later. He hadn't seen Kikyo for almost eight months now, not since the gang's last battle with Naraku. He should have known it would be too much to hope it would stay that way. As much as part of him wished he could just ignore Kikyo and go back to sleep, he knew he had to see her sooner or later. He had to tell her that he wouldn't be going to hell with her, that he would avenge her death and kill Naraku, but that was it. His heart and his life now belonged to Kagome.

 

With a sigh Inuyasha got up and headed towards the Soul Collectors, not noticing that another member of his party was also awake.

 

###

 

Instead of his usual method of travel, jumping from tree to tree, Inuyasha walked slowly towards the spot where he had seen Kikyo's Soul Collectors. He was not looking forward to this conversation, and he saw no reason to rush. Besides, he figured he needed time to think of what the hell he was going to say to Kikyo.

 

###

 

It was a good thing for Kagome that Inuyasha was walking to the meeting and that he was so deep in thought, as it allowed her to follow as she would most likely not been able to do under normal circumstances. She also remembered to keep downwind, and was careful to make as little noise as possible. As much as Kagome trusted Inuyasha, she did not trust Kikyo and was determined that she was going to hear whatever the two had to say to each other. She had not endured and suffered so much, all the while praying that in the end she would be with Inuyasha, to see him get dragged into hell by his walking clay pot of an ex-girlfriend.

 

Kagome followed him until she noticed the light of Kikyo's captured souls just ahead and hid herself behind a tree where she would hopefully not be spotted but could still hear the conversation between Inuyasha and Kikyo if she was quiet.

 

###

 

Inuyasha found Kikyo resting against the base of a tree, in a clearing a surprisingly short distance from their camp. For a moment it almost appeared as if Kikyo was sleeping, but as soon as Inuyasha entered the clearing she opened her eyes and stood up. Her eyes and face were completely expressionless as usual. As Inuyasha had often found himself thinking in the past, he was stuck by how disturbing it was to see two faces that looked so simular that could be could at the same time be so different. Kagome's face was undeniably softer than Kikyo's, her yes wider and her nose turned up more. But what really struck him as different about the two, was that while Kagome's face was always full of so much emotion, Kikyo's never showed what she was thinking even when she was alive. Looking a Kikyo now, Inuyasha wondered yet again how he could have gotten the two woman confused in the beginning when they so obviously different.

 

“Inuyasha.” Kikyo said simply.

 

“Kikyo.” Inuyasha replied in turn. He was about to say more when Kikyo spoke again.

 

“Why are you still travelling with that honourless girl?” Kikyo snapped, her voice angry although her face was still expressionless.

 

“What?” Inuyasha asked, somewhat shocked.

 

###

 

From her hiding place, Kagome gasped. Only that fact that Inuyasha spoke at the same time kept her from being heard. She knew what Kikyo was talking about, but how did she know? And what would Inuyasha say?

 

###

 

“Please, Inuyasha, you must have realised it.” Kikyo said scornfully. “I know all about your sense of smell, you must have realised the whore my reincarnation has become. My question is, why do you still travel with her after she has so clearly disgraced herself?”

 

“How the hell did you know?” Inuyasha asked, both furious at what Kikyo was saying and confused as to where she had gotten her information.

 

###

 

`How did you know?' Kagome repeated in her head, more hurt than she could possibly put into words. That's what he asks? She calls me a whore, and he just asks how she knows? Despite her best efforts, Kagome felt tears well up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall or herself to run away. She would hear this out to end, no matter how much it hurt.

 

###

 

“I have my ways.” Kikyo said smugly, but didn't give any further information. “And you still haven't answered my question. She has allowed herself to become tainted by another man. I know it was not you, for if it was you would have no doubt marked her as your mate and I do not sense that in your aura. Now, why do you continue to travel with a powerless whore?”

 

“Stop it Kikyo!” Inuyasha growled. “Kagome is no whore. She was attacked and raped several months ago, it wasn't her fault.”

 

“It all means the same in the end.” Kikyo said dismissively with a shrug. “She is impure and powerless, no longer worthy of your consideration as your mate as I am.”

 

“You're wrong.” Inuyasha all but yelled. “Kagome didn't lose her powers, they're as strong as ever. She isn't impure either, she has the purest heart I have ever known. As for being worthy of consideration as my mate, she's the only one I would consider! I love her Kikyo, in a way I never did you. Besides, you never wanted me as your mate, remember? You would only have me if I became human. I might have one day become your husband, but we were never going to be mates.”

 

For the first time in a long time, Kikyo's face displayed real emotion as anger and hurt crossed her pale features. “So, you would betray your promises to me?”

 

Inuyasha sighed somewhat regretfully. “No Kikyo, I will still keep my promises to you. I will protect you, and I will avenge your death. But Kikyo, I never actually promised to go to hell with you nor did I promise to be your mate. And both of these are things I know I can no longer do. My life and my heart belong to Kagome now.”

 

###

 

Relief and joy set free the tears fear and hurt could not. Kagome could barely believe everything Inuyasha was telling Kikyo. She had never heard him stand up to his first love like this before. And the fact that he had said he loved her to Kikyo's face made his declaration all the more real.

 

###

 

“So be it then.” Kikyo said, her face and voice expressionless once again, as she turned in preparation to leave. “What I really came to tell you Inuyasha, is that there is strong demonic aura coming from a large trading village to the north of here. It may be Naraku. I will head there to investigate. If you are serious in your intent to avenge me death I suggest you come as well. We will met again, Inuyasha, and you will see the folly of your choice. Only I am truly worthy of your love, and you will see that for yourself in the end.”

 

Inuyasha watched her leave in silence and slight regret. He didn't want things to end this way, but it had to be done. He no longer loved Kikyo the way he once did, and had come to realise that their love for each other had likely never been as pure as they claimed. If it was, they wouldn't have fallen so easily into Naraku's trap half a century earlier, nor would she have asked him to become human for her. As Kagome had taught him, people who truly loved each other didn't ask the other to change to suit them.

 

Just then, as the scent of grave soil faded Inuyasha smelt another scent he knew all to well.

 

“Kagome?” Inuyasha asked in surprise, wondering how long she had been there and how was it he hadn't smelt her before this.

 

Realising there was no use hiding anymore, Kagome came out from behind the tree.

 

“I'm sorry.” She said softly as she approached the half demon. “I shouldn't have followed you.”

 

“How long have you been there?” Inuyasha asked calmly. He didn't blame her for following him, hell he probably would have done the same thing if he was her. The only thing he was worried about was how much he had heard and if any of it had hurt her.

 

“I was there the whole time.” Kagome said, calming down as she realised Inuyasha wasn't mad at her.

 

Inuyasha sighed, he was afraid of that. “Kagome, you realise I don't believe anything Kikyo said, don't you?”

 

“I know.” She said, a small smile crossing her face. “I heard you.”

 

“I meant every word.” Inuyasha said, taking her hand in his own and giving it a squeeze.

 

“I know.” She said again, leaning in to give Inuyasha quick kiss on the lips. Inuyasha was somewhat shocked, Kagome never initiated their kisses, and he had never been brave enough to kiss her on the lips for fear of frightening her. He quickly decided he preferred it to a kiss on the cheek though.

 

“We should head back to the village in the morning.” Inuyasha said after a long moment.

 

“Why?” Kagome asked, truly confused. “Kikyo said she might have found Naraku. Aren't we going to go after him?”

 

“I am, but you're not.” Inuyasha answered. “You're going back to the village where you'll be safe.”

 

“No I'm not.” Kagome said, surprising Inuyasha with how angry she sounded. “I'm going with you.”

 

`But Kagome…”

 

“No buts.” Kagome said firmly. “I'm going to be your mate, I belong with you.”

 

For a moment Inuyasha was silent, his fear over her safety warring with his delight over hearing her say the words `I'm going to be your mate' for the first time.

 

“Okay.” Inuyasha said finally, knowing full well she was almost as stubborn as he was. Even if he did leave her in their village, she might just take it into her head to try to follow. “But you stay back and let me protect you.” At least this way he could keep a close eye on her.

 

Kagome nodded, pleased that she had won, and the two of them headed back to camp to sleep for the rest of the night.

 

###

 

The next morning, the others were surprised to hear that not only had Kikyo visited during the night, but she had news of a possible Naraku sighting to the north. At first they expected that Kagome would be upset by the news, but when Kagome acted not only surprised but somewhat happy, they could only assume that she already knew and that the meeting must have gone well. They were also surprised that Inuyasha didn't insist that Kagome go home, but when they brought it up with him in private later, he only shock his head in resignation and said simply `I tried.' They just had to assume Kagome and Inuyasha knew what they were doing.

 

Two days later, just as the sun began to set, the gang arrived at the village in question. An all too familiar demonic aura filled the sky over the village, while Inuyasha and Shippo reported a well-known scent in the air.

 

No doubt about it, Naraku was in that village. It was time for the final battle.

 

 

Author's Note: For those of you who are confused as to this story's timeframe, as of the end of this chapter, six and a half months have gone by since Kagome was raped.

 

For Kikyo fans out there who are unhappy with my portrayal of her, I humbly apologised. I've never really liked her as a character, but that is because I have always thought that if she truly loved Inuyasha as she claimed she shouldn't have asked him to become human for her. I'm sticking to my opinion that people who really love each other don't ask the other to change who they are to suit them. I don't think of her as being evil however, more as an unfortunate victim of circumstances and the prejudices of her time. However, for the purpose of this fanfic, I thought it necessary to make her this way. For that, I hope you can forgive me.

 

Coming up, the battle with Naraku. This might take a while to write, as I'm not really that good with battle scenes, but I promise to get it to you as fast as I can.