InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Bet ❯ Regrets ( Chapter 8 )

[Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the rest of the chars, and I don't own the music in here either… Ok?]

And again - my eternal gratitude goes to Ericedwyn for being such a wonderful friend, author and person. Thank You so much for convincing me to take this one up again and for helping me with the beta-ing. Love ya, girl! ;)

The Bet

*****

VIII: Regrets

Kouga was quite annoyed. He had been looking for Kagome all evening, just missing her in the kitchen as he had finally found his way there, and had run into Inu and his bitch again. Not to mention Hojo, who had been eyeing him all evening, trying not to scowl. His longtime friend was apparently afraid that he was going to take Kagome away from him - and he had every right to be so since it was exactly what he would do if he got the chance. All he had to do was to find her first.

Scowling, he headed down another of those dark corridors, trying not to get lost. The place was a fucking city and he didn't put it past the house to be self-supporting through a war if it had to! And without anyone to guide him, he had walked up and down the corridors, trying to find her. Kagome…

Hearing raised voices, he hurried forward. There was at least someone there, and they could direct him back to the first floor again, so that he could begin his search anew.

"Don't fucking flatter yourself, you fucking son of a bitch! You can't be sorry, you don't even know what the concept of 'sorry' means! You're a stupid, arrogant, fucking idiot who doesn't have any feelings! And you can't possibly know how I feel, so don't tell me you're 'sorry'! " The voice was female, and it was a furious female, by the sound of it.

Rounding the corner, he stopped, dumbfounded by the scene in front of him.

*****

Inu was eyeing the watch, trying not to notice how long Kagome had been gone. The last he had seen of her was in the kitchen, handing out glasses to those who needed them, but that had been some time ago. He had gone off with Kikyo to his room, talking and kissing for quite some time. And now, he was worried. He didn't know if the rest of his family was back yet - although he would probably have noticed that by now if that was the case - but he didn't want to risk Kagome running into Sesshoumaru. He didn't know how she would react, but something told him that it would take some pain to help her back up on her feet again if she had. The way she had been so devastated after their last meeting had been horrible to watch - and even more horrible was the way she had behaved afterwards when she tried to pretend that everything was all right. She might be able to fool the rest, but not him. He had known her for so long, knew her inside-out, and there was no way in hell that she could keep her troubles from him.

"What's wrong?" Kikyo's sudden voice almost made him jump, and he pulled her closer to him again.

"I'm just thinking about Kag… There's something I haven't told you…" He watched as she suddenly blinked, her eyes brimming with tears.

"What?" Her voice was unsteady, and he pulled her closer, kissing her softly.

"About that night… I haven't told you about what happened, why she left like that… And you can't tell the rest either… Promise?" She nodded, and he drew a deep breath.

"The bet… Um… It… It was like this… She would get Tetsusaiga if she bedded my brother before the end of the month. If she failed, she would have to do everything I told her for the rest of the year…" Feeling her stare at him, he frowned.

"You actually made a bloody bet out of something so important?! Inu, how could you?!" Her stare took him aback, and he made a face.

"You think I'm proud of it? Do you?" He scowled at her, and she pulled away.

"What happened?" Another grimace had her suddenly stroking his cheek, trying to ease the pain he was so obviously in.

"Well… I'm not quite sure… But she went to his office, and whatever they did there, he threw her out afterwards. Somehow, he found out about the bet and decided to play along… And he hurt her… He hurt her so much, broke her into pieces… And she counted on me to fix her up again…" He stared straight ahead, waiting for Kikyo to say something, anything…

"The fucking bastard! I knew that he was cruel, but not that cruel!" Her eyes were blazing with anger, and he was slightly taken aback by it.

"And he's coming home tonight…"

*****

They stared at each other, neither of them saying anything for another moment before she snapped, swinging her hand to slap him. He didn't move to block her as she did - the feeling of her hand connecting with his cheek hard enough to nearly unhinge his jaw served very well to let him know that he wasn't dreaming. The other slap she was about to give him was stopped short by his hand as he grabbed her wrist in midair. She balked, immediately trying to break free, but he used the force she had swung the hand with to draw her into him, pressing her body against his again. She stiffened instantaneously, not even breathing for another moment - before she tried to knee him. He turned to the side, feeling how she narrowingly missed the spot she had been aiming at. He grabbed her leg and shoved her back into the wall, making her lose her balance as he took a better grip on her leg to keep her from trying to geld him again.

"Let. Go. Of. Me. Now. Or I'll scream till the roof comes down, you fucking idiot!" The voice was furious, and he couldn't help but chuckle, fueling her anger. It was impossible to say who had been the most surprised one of them, but he had been the one who had found the footing first again.

"Go ahead, scream all you want… Last time I saw Inuyasha, he was heading off with Kikyo, and there's no one else who cares about, you know…" The part with his brother was a lie, of course, something she apparently didn't know as she stiffened even more. Her blue eyes shot up to meet his, and she shrunk back momentarily before they blazed to life again.

"I'm going to kill you, you fucking…" The rest of her words were drowned against his lips as he decided that he had had enough of her insults. Because he held on to one of her arms and crushed the other one between them, with her thigh in a steady grip, the only thing that was left was his mouth. Something he regretted as she bit into his lip, trying to draw blood. He returned the favor a moment later, feeling her squirm against him. This wasn't going the way he had planned, but he had always been good at improvising. The moment their lips parted, he leaned in and licked off the little trickle of blood he had drawn from her, drawing a startled gasp from her. She was frozen, unable to move again, her heart speeding away with fear and anger, the adrenaline coursing through her body.

"Don't insult me, Kagome…" His voice was no more than a whisper, and he saw her eyes go as wide as they could, the sapphire orbs glistening with tears again.

"I'm not… insulting you, you fucking son of a bitch!" He couldn't help but chuckle again, knowing very well that he was the one in control of the situation. And enjoying himself immensely at that. "I hate you! I want you to go to hell! And stay there as the devil you are!" Her eyes sought his, the fury in them battling with other emotions he recognized as sorrow, pain and… longing? Something to test, perhaps? He let his hand glide down her naked thigh, caressing the sensitive skin on the back of her knee as he reached it. He wasn't disappointed as she squirmed a little more, trying to free her arms. Her eyes held more fear than fury now, but from the way she was breathing, it was more of a fear for what she herself would do than what he could do to her. Interesting, to say the least.

"Let…" A pause, "Go of me, now…" She swallowed and closed her eyes, apparently trying to hold back something as his hand glided back up on her thigh, watching her through half-closed eyes.

"Say 'please'…" He was going to get as much out of this game as possible now when he had the chance, and he wasn't disappointed as she began squirming anew, cursing and calling him a lot of words he didn't even knew existed. "Just say 'please' and I'll let you off…" Leaning down again, he brushed his lips against hers again in a light parody of a kiss, causing her to bang her head against the wall behind her.

"Go…" Another swallow, "Fuck yourself, you stupid, fleacovered… fucking idiot!" She was almost in tears now, and he was surprised to feel a little surge of sympathy for her. He knew that she would try her best to give him hell, but bottomline was that he wanted her, more than he had ever imagined. He had blown that chance two months ago, but he wouldn't give in so easily. He could feel her break down again, watched as the first tears found their way down her cheeks. He leaned in, kissing them off, just to bring another set of them. She finally gave in, stopped squirming and leaned her head against his chest, sobbing into his clothes. He let down her leg, knowing that she wouldn't try anything. She sunk down on her knees, and he followed her. Embracing her fully, he held her close to him, feeling her lithe body wrecking with the sobs.

"I… I ha-hate you s-so much, you… bastard… I ne-never… w-want to see… you a-again!" Her voice was broken by the sobs, but she got the message across, and it hurt him more than he had ever thought possible to hear her say those words. He didn't answer, but placed his chin on the top of her head, feeling her stiffen as his hand slid down her back and up again, pressing her closer to him. The affectionate gesture brought even more tears from her, and he winced. This was not going the way he had planned!

Waiting till she had calmed down a little, he pulled away from her. Her head shot up, her eyes red and swollen, and she scowled at him. He brought his hand up to her cheek, not quite touching her. She drew a deep breath, her eyes glistening with tears again, and he brushed them away with his thumb as they fell. She didn't say a word as he continued to stroke her cheek, tilting her face upwards to him as she tried to look away. Their eyes met again, and he leaned down and kissed her, trying to let her know his every feeling in that kiss. She reacted with balking first, but he kept the pressure light, not pressing in any way, and felt her slowly respond to it.

She closed her eyes, sighing against his lips, the feeling of her enough to make his head spin. He had missed her more than he had ever thought possible, missed the way she tasted and smelled…

She broke loose again, leaning her head on his shoulder in an attempt to get herself under control. She could feel her heart beat in insane rythm, and she briefly wondered if she was going to get a heart attack. It would be a nice way to end all of this…

"I'm sorry…" His voice was no more than a whisper above her hair as he rested his chin on the top of her head, and she flinched again. Pulling away, she stared at him, her eyes large and full of hatred and pain.

"'Sorry'? You don't even know what the fucking word means!" She broke loose, scrambling to her feet with him a moment behind her. He didn't know what to say, how to let her know about the pain inside that was suddenly building up again. Not that she would be interested in that, apparently.

"Kagome… I'm sorry… I truly am…" The words left him wide open for her to stab him, something she looked like she was trying to find the best place to do. She scowled at him, her eyes full of tears again.

"Don't fucking flatter yourself, you fucking son of a bitch! You can't be sorry, you don't even know what the concept of 'sorry' means! You're a stupid, arrogant, fucking idiot who doesn't have any feelings! And you can't possibly know how I feel, so don't tell me you're 'sorry'! " She was screaming again, and he briefly considered kissing her again to have her to shut up, but even as he reached for her, someone rounded the corner.

"Hey! Keep your fucking hands off her! She doesn't want anything to do with you, can't you see that?" Kagome swirled around, astonished by Kouga's words. He sent her a crooked smile - apparently he was drunk enough to try this, but not quite as drunk as not to know what he was doing. She couldn't do anything but stare at him at first, before she took a step closer, almost jumping at him. He was as startled as Sesshoumaru, but didn't protest at all as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She could feel the stare Sesshoumaru gave her, it sent shivers down her spine and she forced herself not to shudder.

Breaking the kiss, she realized that Kouga had his arms around her, holding her close to him. She threw a glance over her shoulder before grabbing his hand and began leading him down the corridor.

"You, me, one of the guestrooms and no clothes… What do you say?" She forced herself to grin at him, grabbing the bottle he was holding and taking a healthy dose of whatever was in there as she tried to keep her knees from buckling. The pain inside was immense, and she wondered how long she could hold it back.

"Sure!" He grinned at her, and she stopped again to kiss him. The kiss was rather clumsy, but she didn't care. She was going to get her revenge on Sesshoumaru now, when he so nicely had bared his throat at her. Kouga didn't understand a thing of what had happened back there, but Kagome was here, and kissing him, and that was enough for him.

"By the way… Who was that?" Apparently, he didn't know about Sesshoumaru, and she forced herself to shrug.

"That? That was… no one…" She smiled at him, grabbing his collar and pulling him down for another kiss, all the time feeling the weight of the bastard's eyes on her.

He watched her little display of defiance and anger as the other pup showed up. That one reminded him very much of the idiot that was supposed to be his brother, and he forced himself to lean on the wall, watching them.

"Just don't forget to change the sheets afterwards, will you?" The words were so hard to say, and it was tearing him to pieces to see Kagome stiffen, her head turning slightly back to him before she shrugged again, continuing leading Kouga away. He turned around and forced himself back to the icy composure he had gone through so many pains to acquire - only to have it torn to pieces by a slip of a girl…

*****

It was a mistake, she realized as soon as Kouga's mouth settled on hers in the room they found. They had been peeking into three others before finding one that was empty, and now he was apparently trying to get as much out of it as possible.

Their clothes were strewn on the floor, and the bottle of… whisky? he had with him standing on the floor by the bed. She took another drink from it as she watched him get rid of the last of his clothes, the grin on his face as he watched her laying in the bed enough to send shivers down her spine. But she couldn't back down now, not when the bastard had done this to her… It's all his fucking fault!

He kissed her, surprisingly gently, as he slid down beside her. She responded, feeling the way the alcohol was already getting to her head, and tried to root those thoughts out off her mind. The promise to Inuyasha was also swimming around somewhere in there, but she pushed it down violently. She would do what she wanted, and there was no one who could stop her. No one…

Feeling him clumsily kissing her, she laid back, supressing a sigh. This was a big mistake, and she was probably going to pay like hell for it later…

"Protection?" Her voice was slightly slurred, and he dug around in his pockets for a moment before finding what he was looking for. She wasn't stupid enough to fuck him without any protection - AIDS, herpes and Kami-knew-what-else, not to mention pregnancy! She didn't want to get any of those, and she was fully prepared to rise and leave if he was lacking in that judgement… Apparently, he wasn't, as he grinned again, leaning down to kiss her breasts. She tried to relax, to purge the image of the last time she had anyone touching her in this way… No, stop it!

'Are you sure about this? I mean… He's drunk, you're drunk, you're trying to get some revenge…'

I'm not trying to get any revenge, I just want him to suffer, and since he so nicely offered his heart to me, I'm going to stake it and burn it, okay?

'Sure… But is this the right way to do that?'

Trust me, it is…

She was aware of Kouga lowering himself down on top of her, entering her with a sharp thrust and she bit her lip. He leaned down and kissed her, oblivious of the lack of response from her. She tried to respond, to not be just a doll lying there, but he was finished before she could do anything. Rolling off her, he panted, watching her from the corner of his eye.

"How's that?" Something between being hit by a truck and a watch the sports on TV, thank-you-very-much… She mumbled something inaudible, pretending to pass out from the drink. He frowned at her, moving around to grab his clothes. And then he did something that surprised her to no end; grabbing the covers, he tucked her in, stroking her cheek for a moment before he left the room. She lay there with her eyes closed till she heard him close the door behind her. Then, she let out the tears, all the pain inside. Kami, it hurts! It hurts so fucking much!

'And fucking that little idiot just made it better, right? I told you so…'

Fuck off! I don't want to hear that! Leave me alone!

'At least you had protection, right… No little rugrats to worry about then…'

Why do you always have to be so fucking cruel? I hate you!

'No, you hate yourself… You are me, I am you… And, apparently, I'm the brighter part…'

Oh yeah? Just because you're always trying to keep me out off trouble? Just because you're so self-righteous, so honorable? You don't want to dirty your hands with all this, and still you're nagging me about it? You're such a fucking hypocrite, you know that?

She rolled into a little ball again, pulling her knees up to her chest and tried to breathe, but her chest kept on constricting. I'm going to have a heart attack, twenty-two years old… Hurray for me…

The party was still going on out there, and once or twice she heard the door open, only to be shut again as the couple realized that the bed was already taken. She didn't know how long she stayed there, and didn't care either, but as the noise seemed to finally die down, she began to gather her clothes. I'm going home now… I want to get some sleep, and take a shower. It must be in the middle of the night… Suddenly, she remembered what her grandfather had said earlier about her watching her back, and she stiffled a mad chuckle. It wasn't my back I was supposed to watch, grandpa, but my front… The thought was so stupid, that she - even in the hazy mist of the liqour - knew that. And still, she laughed at it. 'Okay, you're officially losing it, Kagome…'

Or I'm just drunk…

'And hurt…'

And hurt, yes… Why did I have to meet him again? Why couldn't he had stayed away?

'It's his home, if you didn't notice…?'

Whatever, but I had really looked forward to tonight… It was going to be so fun… It seems that all the time I'm drunk, I end up like this… And sometimes, I even don't have to be THAT to end up like this… Used… Like a whore…

'You said it…'

Yeah, I did… And now, I'm off the drinks, and I'm moving away as soon as I can…

'I've heard that one before…'

And this time, it's for real!

'Yeah yeah… Whatever…'

Dressing herself, she left the room, the bed still rumpled, ready for the next couple who was looking for somewhere to sleep. She tried to ignore the hurt inside, tried to shut out the pain, but it was impossible. She stumbled along the corridor, wondering if Kouga had found his way out. A little part of her wanted him to have bumped into Inu too, and hopefully got that bashing he had talked about. But it was probably too much to hope for, anyway.

The stairs were silent, the whole house seemed to be holding its breath, and she sighed. Inu would get hell to clean all this up tomorrow, and the thought of helping him vanished as soon as she remembered that Sesshoumaru was back. I'm not going to set my foot in this house again, not as long as he's home, anyway…

'Good girl!'

Not so fucking sarcastic, if you please?

'Who's sarcastic now?'

Whatever… Just go away, would you?

She tilted her head slightly to the side as she tried to keep her balance in the stairs, oblivious of the looks she got from the subject of her monologue. He had been waiting for her ever since she had disappeared with the other man, but as she was finally on her way to him, he had no idea what to say, what to do. He didn't have a hard time figuring out what they had been doing - as if her clothes and disarrayed hair wouldn't have given that away - and the sting of jealousy wasn't anything he wanted.

He watched her pass him, unsteadily placing one foot in front of the other, her arms slightly extended to keep her balance. She looked so vulnerable right then, and the pain inside him increased as he watched her turn and stare back the way she had come.

"Fuck you, you bastard!" Turning on her heel again, she grabbed her coat and rummaged around for her shoes before remembering that they were in the kitchen where she had left them. Making her way over there wasn't as hard as she first had thought, and she tried to hurry. Staying here meant that she risked meeting him again, and she wasn't up to that right now. The shock from earlier hadn't quite left her yet, and adding the really, really bad sex with Kouga - no, not sex, more like wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am - and a lot of alcohol, she was very unstable right now. Not that anyone would care, beyond Inu, of course. And perhaps Hojo, but she didn't want him around. 'Or perhaps he's just the one you need to keep you in line? He's kind, sweet, and he would take care of you, you know…'

He would… After he had bored me to death with all his kindness…

'True… But he's sweet, and…'

And nice, I know… But no, I'm not going to do anything about him… I'm going to go to school, and I'm going to graduate at the top, and I'm going to get me a nice job, and a nice, caring husband that would never dream of doing something like this to me, and a couple of kids and…

'A dog, a house and the most boring family idyll ever made, right?'

Yeah, right… Unfortunately, that's what's going to happen if I start dating Hojo… You know that, don't you?

'I do, but I still think he would be good for you… He wouldn't break your heart, at least…'

No, he wouldn't… But I just can't picture myself with him… He's so… so…

'Dull?'

Mmmm… That's the word I was looking for, yes… Thank you…

'You're welcome…'

She grabbed her shoes, put them on and hurried out again. It was dark outside, and the kitchen clock had shown 2.37. It wasn't the best time of night to be walking home, but she didn't have much of a choice since there was no one who could drive her.

She was still oblivious of the man following her as she swung down the street. She tried walking steadily and not slumping as not to draw the attention of a young, drunk female to her, but as soon as there was no one in sight again, she cursed and stopped, trying not to let the feeling of being followed intimidate her. It didn't disappear though, and she felt the little patience she had left disappear.

"Hello? Is there anyone there? I'm fucking armed, and I know how to use it!" Great, now she sounded like she was a three year old playing in kindergarten. Silence greeted her, and she snorted.

"Suit yourself! But stay back there, or you'll get hurt, got that? I know self-defense as well! You hear me? Stay back!" And now he knows I'm drunk as well… Way to go, Kag!

She hurried forward again, not caring that she was almost running. She wanted to get home again, into her safe room, under her covers… And someone to hug her and tell her that there were no monsters under - or in - her bed. But no one would, and that was the downside of being an adult. She scrambled forward, up the hill to the little shrine, feeling the eyes on her all the way.

*****

He heard her threatening him in the darkness, heard the way her voice trembled slightly from fear and had to stop himself from stepping forward, revealing who was following her. The way she had looked when she got out of the kitchen again had had more effect on him then he cared to admit, but he hadn't been surprised when he decided to follow her home. He knew that there were many people with not so honorable intentions out this night, and he didn't want her to get into trouble. And now she was home, safe.

Turning around, he left the same way they had come, walking with sure steps, not revealing with a blink of an eye the pain inside.

*****

I still don't like this chapter, but I'm not sure I can do anything to change it short of rewriting the whole thing… And in some way, it's still quite okay. I needed her to sleep with Kouga (despite all the angry people out there who didn't want her to do that) because I wanted her to react in a believable way - by trying to hurt Sesshoumaru as much as he hurt her and I believe that sleeping with Kouga would be a way. Sorry, all of you who didn't like it. I'm 99% sure that it won't be repeated… ;)