InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Bet ❯ Uncertain Decisions ( Chapter 9 )

[Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize…]

Also lots and lots of thanks to Ericedwyn for the betaing!! You're a lifesaver, you know? *hugs*

UNCERTAIN DECISIONS

*****

Waking up the next morning, he wasn't sure at first if he had been dreaming that he met her again last night but the way he felt inside told him that he hadn't.

The morning had continued so nicely after that; his brother receiving a scolding that would leave his ears ringing for the rest of the year from both his mother and father, but from there it had slid slowly downwards-the ground giving way as he stepped on it. A phonecall from Jaken didn't do anything to improve his temper - the slimy little bastard hadn't been able to locate anything yet - and when he tried to bring up the matter with his father, Inutaisho had promised that he would take a look at it and then left the papers on his desk - untouched.

His head ached, probably due to Jet-lag and very little sleep caused by her… No, stop thinking about her! Snapping at himself had no effect; however, since he could hear her words echo in his head again…

"By the way… Who was that?"

"That? That was… no one…"

Scowling, he stared straight ahead. He wouldn't give into the temptation of calling her - to humiliate himself even more. The cringing feeling inside was ruthlessly pushed away, leaving the blessed ice in charge again, the ice that had been him for as long as he could remember. The ice that had seen him through his parents' divorce, through high school, through college… And it would see him through this little crush he apparently had towards her too.

The downside with having feelings, he thought, was that they were so… unpredictable… You never knew what they would make you do or how you would react to something. He had since long thought himself in control of them, but as she had turned his world upside-down two months ago and then spun him around in a merry dance, he had learned that it was not the case. But all he had to do was to get rid of them once and for all, and work was a good way to start. If he kept himself occupied with it all the time, he wouldn't have any time left to think about her, and she would soon be gone from his mind.

There was only one hitch in this plan - he couldn't concentrate for a moment on either his papers nor on anything else. She was firmly wedged into his mind, and by the feel of it she was there to stay.

It was not for the the first time these past months that he lowered his face into his hands and closed his eyes. Immediately, images of her began playing in his mind; images from the years he had known her, and some more recent ones from their latest encounters.

Then the hateful memory of last night's brief meeting surfaced again; those painful moments when she had turned to the other man and the words that had followed…

"By the way… Who was that?"

"That? That was… no one…"

With a groan, he opened his eyes again and pulled on his glasses to at least try to give the papers the necessary look-over.

*****

There was nothing like waking up in your own bed, she decided as she slowly opened her eyes, blinking owlishly at the light coming in through the curtains she had forgotten to close last night.

There was this feeling of safety, of peace, and also a feeling of ownership - that she had the right to kick anyone who tried to come in there out of it if she wanted to.

And there was also a feeling of loneliness, like someone was missing… No!

She scowled as she sat up, her head spinning and her stomach making protesting flips. She forced herself to stand up, and with the aid of the bedtable she managed. She briefly wondered what it had been in the drinks last night, but that thought vanished as soon as she remembered just who she had run in to, and what had happened afterwards.

It took her a little less than ten seconds to reach the bathroom in a run and she emptied the contents of her belly gratefully. She hadn't felt this sick in months, and the fact that it was more or less because of the same reason didn't help at all.

Sinking down by the bathtub, she sobbed quietly for some minutes before standing up again, feeling more lightheaded than she should but refusing to acknowledge why.

"Kagome?" Her mother's voice drifted through the bathroom door, followed by a quiet knock.

"I'm okay," she replied wearily, splashing cold water on her face before she opened the door to see her mother stand there, watching her with concern. "I'm okay," she repeated.

"Are you sure?" The gentle tone in the older woman's voice went straight into her heart, and before she could stop herself she had flung herself into her startled mother's arms, sobbing and shaking violently.

*****

It was past lunch when he laid down the last documents on the desk, rubbing his eyes and stretching as he went on a search for something to fill his complaining belly with. He had been more or less successful in banishing her from his mind for the past few hours; but now, when he had nothing to distract himself with, her eyes and voice returned to haunt him.

He scowled as he made his way into the kitchen, which was blessedly empty and silent. He guessed that his brother was out somewhere, presumably with Kikyo, and where his father and stepmother were, he had no clue - nor did he care.

Opening the fridge, he rummaged through it in search for something to eat, anything. He didn't really want to waste time with this, but he also knew how much a complaining stomach would distract him from distracting himself.

He was not going to think about her. Thinking about her inevitably led to reconsidering his own behaviour, and he was not going there. And thinking about how he had acted towards her brought a burning streak of shame that somehow managed to wheedle its way through the ice out in the open.

He considered - not for the first time - to call her and apologize, but in the next moment he had changed his mind again. He was not going to call her, and he was definitely not going to apologize. He might have been willing to do it before the pup showed up last night - he even had! - but when she had walked off with that one just like that…

He wasn't happy to discover that he was staked out for her to take whatever she wanted with no way for him to stop her, but that didn't mean that he'd roll over and give up just like that.

He sat down by the table in his usual seat, mechanically chewing the sandwich he had made while lecturing himself on his behaviour.

He still wanted her, that much was for certain. Whether or not she still wanted him was open for discussion, but last night's events pointed in two directions. Either she was completely uninterested in him after what he had done, or she had walked off with that man because she wanted to make him jealous and hurt - something that had succeeded better than she'd ever know.

That left him with two ways of handling this; either he'd start chasing her for real - doing it the right way this time, or he'd just leave her alone till she came around on her own. He wasn't sure which way would be the best considering that she had a knack for turning the tables on him when he least expected it, but he decided to start with calling her - all his earlier resolves not to, forgotten.

But as he picked up the phone, another memory from last night assaulted him.

"Don't fucking flatter yourself, you fucking son of a bitch! You can't be sorry, you don't even know what the concept of 'sorry' means! You're a stupid, arrogant, fucking idiot who don't have any feelings! And you can't possibly know how I feel, so don't tell me you're 'sorry'! "

It had gone downhill from there, straight to the hell where he was now fumbling blindly around for a way out.

"I am sorry," he whispered softly even as his hand fell to his side, the telephone back in the receiver, and the ache inside suddenly intensified. He was, and a part of him would do anything to have her forgive him for what he had done. "But I'm not going to come running just like that…" He scowled, making up his mind again - or at least trying to. Walking back to his study, he shook his head.

He hadn't been this insecure in a long, long time.

*****

She wanted to tell her mother what had happened the past months, but she knew that she couldn't. She was too embarrassed over her own behaviour, and too hurt by his, to get the words out. Instead she cried and cried, holding on to the older woman like she was her lifeline. And in a way, she was.

There were no questions asked, no assumptions made. Only warm comforting arms holding her close and a soft voice in her ear, hushing her sobs.

It was a comfort that no one else, not even Inuyasha, could give her. It enveloped her in its warmth and calmed her down inside, but the tears wouldn't stop running. She didn't think she'd ever stop crying; sobbing and shaking violently as those gentle arms rocked her back and forth.

"Kagome," the voice was gentle and warm as her mother pulled away far enough to take a good look at her crying daughter. The blue eyes were red and swollen as she tried to dry her tears long enough to listen to what she had to say. "Kagome…" This time it was a sigh as she was pulled into another tight embrace and held there, just like she had been held when she had still been a child. Her mother could chase away even the most horrible of monsters, she realized.

"I love you, mom…" She managed to choke out between sobs, something that led to an even tighter embrace.

"I love you too, Kagome."

They stayed like that for a little while, neither of them moving or speaking. Then Kagome pulled away with a little smile, trying to put on a brave mask.

"Do you want some tea?" The corners of her eyes wrinkled as she looked at her daughter with a small smile, wanting and needing to continue to comfort her, but not sure if she was allowed to.

Kagome nodded and with a small chuckle she indicated towards the bathroom. "I'll just clean up a little first, I'll be right down."

She came down a couple of minutes later, her hair pulled back in a low ponytail and her face scrubbed to get rid of both the old make-up and the sleep induced wrinkles. She managed a small smile towards her mother as she sat down by the kitchen table and accepted the steaming mug of tea gratefully.

They were quiet for a little while before her mother spoke. "So… Is it because of Inuyasha?"

The look she got in return made her put up her hands in a placating gesture. "I had to ask. You never talk to me anymore, Kagome. I don't know what goes in your mind, not like when you were younger…" There was a slight note of hurt in her voice, even if it was calm and even.

Kagome looked away for a moment before she drew a deep breath and answered the unspoken questions.

"It's… It's Sesshoumaru…" Her voice didn't shake, something that surprised her.

"Ah…" There was no other response, merely a slight nod. She knew about Inuyasha's older brother from the both of them, and she had also heard Kagome's angry rants whenever he had gotten in their way. Somehow, it didn't come as any surprise to her that there was something going on between the older of the two Onishi-brothers and her daughter.

"He's… Well, he's a pain…" Kagome grimaced faintly before she raised the mug again. The words earned a slight chuckle from her mother.

"Name a man who isn't? They're all more or less the same, no matter how old they are, or where they're from… I think it's something they're born with." She was graced with a quiet snort of laughter from Kagome, her blue eyes suddenly sparkling with mirth.

"They are. And it doesn't matter whether or not they're friends or possible boyfriends…" She made another grimace and scrunched her nose. It felt unreal to sit there with her mother and telling her about her boy-troubles like she had done when she was younger. It felt like that belonged to another lifetime, one before him… And I'm not going there.

They were silent for a little while again, both of them sipping the tea and lost in their own thoughts. Then Kagome looked up again, meeting her mother's questioning gaze calmly. "What would you do, if you were me?"

A faint smile touched her mother's lips again before she answered. "Let him crawl." The smile turned into a chuckle and at Kagome's astonished look, she startled laughing for real.

*****

Business dinners were always the most boring ones, he had since long discovered, but he knew that there was no way he could get out of this one. His father had hunted him down the same afternoon and almost ordered him to go. There had been an edge to the older man that Sesshoumaru disliked intensly, but also a desperation that made him wary. Something was up, and he wasn't sure he liked it.

He had agreed, after little protests. He was meeting one of his father's future business associates at The Silver Dolphin, one of the most classic restaurants in the city to discuss a possible collaboration between their companies. He had been to countless of those meetings, but they had never bored him before - not like they did now, after her.

He had found himself unconsciously wondering how she would react, had he taken her to one of those restaurants, or how it would be to sit there with her by his side, having her sparkle like a star in the company of grey and black business suites. He remembered the time he had taken her to that little café and how innocent it had seemed at that point. She had been innocent…

Scowling, he reminded himself that he had a meeting to attend to, and people to impress. It wouldn't do to show up with his head in the clouds like some boy with his first crush, he had to be calm and in control of himself and his feelings.

After dressing in his usual white suit, he made his way out the door without meeting anyone. He knew that his useless brother was still out somewhere, and his father had left with his stepmother without giving any location or reason for it, something that didn't help his temper the least.

Driving to the restaurant didn't take long, and he entered the building at the dot. He was immediately led to his table, where there was only one other person seated.

"Sess," Mina greeted him with a smile on her red lips at his blank face. A smile that deepened considerably at the angry look he gave her.

Mina Shusaku was only a year or two younger than him; born from a Japanese father and an English mother she had gone to the same university as him and they had also dated a couple of times before she had broken it off, insisting that they'd concentrate on their studies instead.

He hadn't expected to see her here, but now he understood why his father had been so insistent that he attended this meeting.

She had turned out to be even more beautiful than he would ever had thought; large brown eyes and blond hair, slender and tall she reached him almost to the eyes but didn't seem clumsy. She bore her height with a grace that few had.

Realizing that he was staring, he hastily shook his head and forced the blank mask back on his face. "Mina," he replied and nodded at her.

"Fancy meeting you here. What have you've been up to these past years?" The look she gave him was perfectly innocent, but he remembered that she could be as cunning as a fox when she wanted to and he didn't doubt for a second that she knew exactly where he had been and what he had been up to. He decided to play along with her games for the time being, but he would give his father a piece of his mind when he met him next. If he hadn't been to lost with his head in the clouds, he should've recognized her surname - there weren't a lot of Shusaku in the city - and he should've checked the background for this more thoroughly.

"A little bit of this and a little bit of that," he replied in a bored voice. "Yourself?"

That seemed like what she had been waiting for as she smiled again, the red lips mocking him slightly. "A little bit of this…" She made a pause and the smile grew even more, "… and a little bit of that…"

He was saved from replying anything to that by the waiter who chose that moment to show up. They ordered quietly, neither of them really paying attention to the other, and Sesshoumaru found himself wishing once again that it was Kagome who sat on the other side. The look Mina gave him after the waiter had left could only be described as "predatory", and he sank back in his chair for a moment, trying to re-evaluate the whole situation. She gave him no chance to do that as she pressed on with more questions.

"So, are you married yet?" The scowl the question produced made her blink innocently. "What? Just asking… Girlfriend?" Big brown eyes danced with laughter as he refused to reply and instead raised the glass of water to his lips.

He took a small sip before letting it down again, an eyebrow arched at her innocent look. "Is there a point to these questions or can we skip them? I doubt that we're here to catch up on old times, are we?"

She pouted and faked a sigh. "I was just trying to catch up on what we've done since the last time we saw each other."

Remembering another of Mina's little quirks, he decided to play along again. "So, I heard that you got married a couple of years ago?"

"Divorced," came the short reply, followed by a glare that could have scared away even the most brave of men. He nodded sympatethically.

"I see…" She was suddenly very wary of him for some reason - he could almost smell it in the air around them as she leaned back in her chair, her brown eyes not nearly as friendly as a couple of moments ago.

"Business?" came the short question and she produced a file out of nowhere and handed it over to him.

"Business," was his only reply.

*****

Kagome had showered and dressed, and was currently trying to do something about the mess that was supposed to be her hair when the telephone rang. She heard her mother answer it, followed by her name being yelled up the stairs. "Kagome! It's Hojo!"

She blinked, remembering what he had looked like last night when she had met him at Inu's and she forced down the embarrassed feeling as she slowly made her way down the stairs to take the phone from her mother.

"Hello?" Her voice was a little uncertain, but she forced it to sound normal again. Hojo had done nothing wrong - and she didn't want to upset him if she could avoid it. He might be boring and dull, but he was still a friend. And perhaps, talking to him might be exactly what she needed. He could be kind of sweet and nice when he wanted to, and he'd never do anything to hurt her in any way.

"Kagome?" At her affirmative grunt, he started babbling nervously. "It's me, Hojo, and I was wondering if you want to… want to…" he drew a deep breath before rushing it out, "ifyouwanttogooutfordinnerorjustacupofcoffeeorjust…"

Her slight chuckle stopped him before he made an even bigger fool of himself and there was a dead silence in the telephone before she answered.

"That would be nice, Hojo."

The silence lasted for another moment before he spoke again. "Are you sure? Uhh, I mean, it's really great that it's nice… Uhhh… I mean…" He fell silent again, and she smiled even though he couldn't see it.

"So, where are we going? Movies? Dinner?" She kept her voice light as she waited for what he had planned. She was quite sure that he had thought something out before hand, something that he thought that she'd like. It annoyed her in a way, that he thought that he knew her, but it also warmed her inside that someone at least took the time to try and find out her likes and dislikes. Unlike some people…

"I don't know… What do you think?" His voice was shy now, and even more uncertain than before, and it made her smile again.

"Dinner sounds good to me. What about you?"

"Sure!" His enthusiastic voice made her smile again and he continued, "The Silver Dolphin?"

She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to place the name. Then a memory of an expensive dinner with Inuyasha and his family popped up and she made a grimace. She didn't want to go there again - the food might be good, but it was too snobbish for her tastes.

"Not there, let's go somewhere else instead. Isn't there any other restaurants around here?" She knew of a few, but wanted to see what he would say. It didn't really matter to her where they went, but she'd prefer something cozy to posh.

"I'm not sure… We can always just drive around and see where we end up?" There was that hopeful note in his voice again, the one that always made her think of him as a big teddy-bear that needed a hug or three.

"That works for me! Are you picking me up?"

"How long?" His voice was far from uncertain now, she could almost see him sparkling at the other side of the phone.

"Give me half an hour?" Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she corrected that with a grimace at the way her hair was sticking out in every direction possible. "Gimme an hour?"

"Sure thing! I'll pick you up in an hour then! Bye!"

Before she had managed to get another word out, he had hung up on her. She shook her head, both at him and at herself for agreeing to go with him. But dinner with Hojo might be exactly what she needed - someone easy to get along with and who would take care of her every wish. Maybe he can help me get rid of last night…

She shuddered at the memories again, both of Kouga and Sesshoumaru and her own stupidity. She closed her eyes for a moment, forcing them away again. She wasn't going to think about it anymore. What had happened had happened, and if she could just forget it, then she'd be okay. She knew that there was no use in sitting there and mope at it since it wouldn't change a damn thing, but it didn't help the least. How could I be so damn stupid?

'Oh yes, how could you? Let's take a look at the facts, shall we?'

No, go away!

'Number one; you're in love with him. Number two. Sleeping…'

I don't want to hear this! Go away!

'…with Kouga was the worst thing you could have done. Number three…'

Fuck off!

'… well, I'll let you figure out that one on your own…'

Whatever, just leave me alone!

'Sure… Let me know when you're done thinking…'

She managed to mute the crazy voice back again, glaring at everything and nothing around her before heading back up to her room. She wanted to at least be presentable when she… met… Hojo. She wasn't going to call this a date - she didn't date and he was just a friend. Just a good friend, that she could meet and go for a movie or have dinner with, that was all. He was definitely not boyfriend material for her; and after last night's disaster she wasn't interested in guys at all. Her mother was right - there hadn't been one born on the face of this planet that didn't mean trouble in one way or another. And for some reason, they all seem to be drawn to me.

*****

Remember me? ;)

Yup, I'm back, ready to torture you with another chapter of The Bet. *grins*

And how I torture you, is up to you. I haven't recieved any real flames for this one so far, which kind of surprises me considering that I've butchered Kagome's character beyond belief and the fact that this isn't a good story. And no, I'm not looking for compliments or something - I've re-read it and cringed and sat here with my face as red as it could go because it badly needs to be revised. Again.

This chapter has been written, edited, deleted, re-written, re-re-written and re-re-re-written, but it's finally done, and I hope I'm living up to some of the expectations at least. Moms are great, aren't they? Go and hug yours! ;)

I also want to thank you for being so patient, for putting up with me and this one and the little fact that I never updated it (it's been close to a year and a half, hasn't it? O.o), but both personal and professional life has been a little… "rocky", to say the least.

But, I'm back now, and hopefully it won't take too long to get another chapter out. I'm going on vacation to Switzerland during Easter and then school's decided to take a leap for the worst (as usual - what is it with the damn things?? -_-), but I hope - not promising though - to have the next chapter out before summer.

Looking forward to hear from you and Happy Easter everyone!! :)

~Mini