Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Light in the Darkness ❯ Why Did Chi-Chi Marry Goku? ( Chapter 8 )

 

A Light in the Darkness - part 8: Why Did Chi-Chi Marry Goku
by Mia Skywalker & Wataruo

PAIRING: Goku/Chi-Chi
RATING: G
WARNINGS: None
DISCLAIMER: Neither of us owns any of the DBZ characters or anything about DBZ, but we both wish we owned the Saiyans. All of them. These characters are owned by Toei, Viz, Akira Toriyama, and FUNimation. We do own what we've written here, and our specific storyline, just not Dragonball itself. We make no money off of any of these guys, nor off this fic.
SUMMARY: Sometimes ya gotta wonder just WHY Chi-Chi married Goku.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: To Magnes for the original beta, and to W-chan and Selenity Jade for the re-beta.

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Chi-Chi stared at this man who had been her husband for seven years and whom she hardly ever saw. She wasn't even sure she knew him anymore. He had died and then had gone almost straight to Namek, barely even stopping to see her. Everyone told her that he had become something called a 'Super Saiyan'. They said it as though he had done something marvelous, but she felt something that had taken her husband away from her like that couldn't be so wonderful.

 

"You're home," she whispered, unshed tears making her voice hoarse. "But for how long? How long this time, Goku-sa? How long before you leave me yet again?"

 

Goku put his hand behind his head and smiled at her. "I am not going anywhere." He was silently hoping she wouldn't cry. He never knew what to do when she cried and that seemed to make it worse. "Chikyuu is safe. There isn't any reason for me to go anywhere."

 

Goku looked around the kitchen and smiled. "Things haven't changed at all. Place still looks the same. It's good to be back. Are there chores I need to do before dinner or has Gohan already done them?" he asked.

 

She stared at him a moment longer, and then her face shook as she tried to bite back tears. He had been away from her for two years, and he was acting like he had only been gone a few weeks. He hardly seemed at all happy to see her. Well, he seemed 'happy', but hardly excited. Had he always been like this? Had he chosen to marry her only because she was there, not because he had really wanted to?

 

She wondered if he really loved her. He seemed to like her well enough, but she didn't know if love was involved. She used to think it didn't matter, that as long as he stayed faithful to her and cared for her that was all that was important, but she realized now that she had been wrong. ::I shouldn't have forced him into marrying me. Even if I had never married anyone, it would have been better than being married to someone who doesn't really care.::

 

She realized now as she looked at him that he was really a child in an adult's body. He was never the one to instigate sexual relations between them; he had not even known what to do on their wedding night.

 

As she stared at him standing there, looking as innocent and carefree as a child, she realized he had never once told her that he loved her. And she realized he probably never would. He really hadn't missed her while he had been gone all this time. It had been one long vacation to him, a chance to have fun the way he had before she had tied him down.

 

In a sudden burst of tears she ran from the room, fleeing blindly from them. Gohan looked up at his father with a sad expression on his face. "She's crying again, Daddy. Why did you make her cry again?"

 

Goku reached up and scratched his head. "I don't know what's wrong, Gohan. You stay here. I'll find out."

 

Goku patted his son on the head before he walked down the hall to the bedroom they shared and paused at the door as he listened to Chi-Chi cry. He honestly didn't know what to think of this latest outburst and he always felt helpless when she cried.

 

He took a deep breath and stepped into the room. "Chi-Chi?" He walked over to the bed where she was lying and sat down next to her. "What's wrong?" He reached over and patted her back awkwardly.

 

Chi-Chi continued to cry, ignoring the presence of her husband near her. In fact, his presence made it worse, as she realized that he didn't understand her and never would.

 

As the tears flowed and she choked on her sobs, she wondered desperately if she should leave. Or if he should leave. Somehow the thought of never being with him broke her heart, made her want to scream and cry even harder than she was. Yet being with him when he didn't really love her broke her heart, too. And she knew that someday he would leave her anyway, and it wouldn't even bother him.

 

::I've lost him, haven't I?:: she thought, as she sobbed broken-heartedly. But had she ever really had him? He didn't care about her any more than he cared about his friends. Less! He spent more time with them than he did with her. She had never been important to him, just someone he could come home to, that would feed him when he wanted to eat. She continued to cry, harder than before.

 

"Ummm, Chi-Chi?" Goku spoke up quietly. He really hated it when she cried. He liked it better when she yelled at him. Her anger he understood and if he disappeared for a little while, she would usually be fine. But this... he had never seen her cry like this before.

 

"Chi-Chi, what's the matter? Do you want me to leave for a little while?" His comforting pats didn't seem to be helping much. And just him being here seemed to make it worse.

 

"Leave?" She hiccupped. Of course he wanted to leave. He didn't like to see her cry, he didn't like to see anyone cry. He would prefer to just run away and hope everything would get better, and then he had come back again. She wasn't sure she wanted him to do that. ::Do which? Run away? Or come back again?::

 

Somehow the idea of him leaving and not coming back sent a sharp pain through her heart. She had thought he had been gone forever, now it was like she was losing him all over again. Didn't he love her anymore? Had he ever loved her?

 

"You want to leave again? You just got back and already you're leaving? Do you hate me that much? Do I mean so little to you?" Her voice was interspersed with hiccups as she continued to weep helplessly.

 

"I don't hate you, Chi-Chi," Goku told her. "I'll never hate you." He began to stroke her back with the palm of his hand. "It's just that you always seem a lot calmer when I go out and come back again." His eyebrows pulled together in thought. "I thought maybe if Gohan and I went out fishing...." He knew he wasn't explaining himself well. He never explained himself very well. This was worse than battling Frieza, he thought as he watched Chi-Chi cry.

 

"You might not hate me, but you don't love me," she said softly. She was no longer sobbing as harshly, but the tears hadn't stopped flowing. "And I'm only calmer because I hold it in. Just because I don't show it doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt. Goku, if you walk out that door...."

 

She wasn't sure what she was going to say. Give him an ultimatum? She didn't want him to walk out and never come back, and she was afraid he might do that.

 

"I just wish you loved me like I always loved you. I know now that you never will... but I just wish you did."

 

Goku blinked a few times as he looked down at her, completely bewildered. What did she mean, he didn't love her? He did. He truly did. Maybe he should have told her more often, he thought as he stared down into her face.

 

"Chi-Chi, I do love you. I just don't show it well, that's all." He reached over and cupped her face between his big hands and looked down into her eyes. "I'll do better, I promise," he vowed solemnly. "I'll be a better husband."

 

Chi-Chi looked at him in confusion. She knew from the look in his face that he meant it, and she was puzzled. Did he love her? How could he keep leaving her if he loved her? He never shown her that he loved her. He acted like he hardly knew she was around. He treated her like... she wasn't sure, but it wasn't the way she thought husbands should treat their wives. Not that she knew too many married couples. Her own mother had died when she was born, and Bulma wasn't married. She had seen the way the Briefs were around each other, and she didn't want to have a marriage like theirs.

 

::I thought husbands and wives were supposed to care more for each other?:: She wished she knew more married couples, but she didn't really have anyone to use as an example.

 

"I know you do, Goku. At least, as much as you know how to. It's just not as much as I wish you did. I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have forced you to marry me when we were younger. Maybe I should have let you be free. I loved you, and I thought that was enough, but... I was wrong. I'm sorry, Goku. I wish I could let you go, but I love you too much to want you to leave me and never come back. Even if you don't really love me, if you just love me a little, I guess that's better than nothing." She wiped her tears and stood up. "I just wish that someday you'd learn to love me as much as I love you," she said as she turned away.

 

"Don't be silly," he said as he got up from the bed and stood behind her. He placed both of his hands on her shoulders and she went still at his touch. "I wouldn't have married you if I hadn't wanted to. You didn't force me into anything I didn't want."

 

Granted, the big man hadn't even known what a bride was until she had told him, but when she had finally explained it to him, he had wanted the same. "And I wish you believed that I love you as much as you love me."

 

He slid his arms around her shoulder and held her against his chest. "I'll prove it, Chi-Chi," he said determinedly. "I don't know how, but I will prove it."

 

Chi-Chi stopped in surprise when he put his hands on her shoulders, and remained frozen in shock when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. She didn't recall him ever instigating contact with her like this before. Maybe he really had missed her.

 

She turned in his arms and looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise and hope. Did he really care? Did he really love her? Or was it only that he was used to her and would just as soon keep her around? What did he want with her? She wasn't sure what to say at first, but simply stared up at him, her eyes wide with confusion and the beginnings of hope.

 

"Goku-sa?" she finally said softly. "Do you really mean it? You didn't just marry me because you'd promised me, or because I forced you into it? You really wanted to marry me? Really, truly wanted to? I wasn't just... I wasn't just the one who happened to come along at the right time, and it wasn't because I forced you to carry through with your promise? That wasn't it?"

 

Goku shook his head and looked down into his wife's eyes. "Not at all. You didn't force me into anything." He gave her one of his famous grins. "Nothing that I didn't want to do anyways." He brushed a loose strand of hair away from her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. "I may not be smart like Bulma is, but I do understand what love is. And I have loved you since we were kids."

 

"Then why do you always leave me?" she asked, her brow furrowed. "You always leave me, to train or to fight, and you never even think about me. You didn't even want to come back from Namek, when they wanted to use that last wish. You were gone for almost two years including the year you were dead, and you still didn't want to come back!" Tears welled up in her eyes again. "And just now, you acted like you didn't really care that you saw me again. You acted like you'd hardly been gone at all, not like a husband who's been missing his wife for two years!" She started to wail again.

 

Goku, because he didn't know what to do, pulled Chi-Chi into his arms. "Well, I didn't come back from Namek because I was learning a new technique on Yardrat. I ran into a race of people there who could do instantaneous movement," he said calmly. "It took me a year to learn it." He smiled as he looked down at her. "I figure I want to learn every technique I can, to protect you and Gohan." He cocked his head to side and sighed. "I missed you, Chi-Chi. I missed you a lot."

 

"Learning a new technique was more important than being with me again?" she demanded angrily. That was just like Goku. He was such a child when it came to fighting. "Do you know how humiliated I was, when you refused to come home? Do you know what everyone thought about you - about me - when they all heard that? They wondered how horrible I must be as your wife, if you didn't want to come home to me!" She lowered her head, and tears started to fall. "They all thought - I thought - you didn't love me. I was so ashamed!"

 

"But I do love you," Goku protested. "I was just learning something to protect everyone. I don't think anyone thought that at all." He reached down to tilt her head up with one finger. "Really I do," he said sincerely.

 

Now what exactly did husbands do when they saw their wives after they had been gone a long time.? he wondered as he looked at Chi-Chi's tear-stained face. A sudden idea occurred to him, and he leaned down and brushed a soft kiss against her mouth.

 

"Don't cry anymore, Chi-Chi. It will be different. I promise."

 

Chi-Chi closed her eyes and leaned into his kiss, and when he pulled back her brows pulled together in a frown. "Yes, they did think that! I saw it in their eyes, on their faces! When you refused to come back, they all turned and stared at me, so accusingly...!" Tears stung her eyes again. "You promise things will be different, but I know they won't be. I know you, Son Goku. You don't know anything except fighting. You don't know anything about love, or how to love...."

 

Goku looked distinctly hurt. "Yes, I do," he said quietly. "I love you and Gohan." He embraced her again and sighed. "How can I prove it, Chi-Chi?" he asked out loud. It was almost as if he were thinking aloud. "I'll always be a warrior, you know that. And I'll always want to protect my family and friends. Why is that so wrong?"

 

"It's not wrong. I just wish..." she trailed off. She had been about to say that she wished he was different, that he could change, but she wondered if that were really true. Did she really want him to be anything other than what he was? It was the fact that he was a warrior, that he was strong, that had attracted her to him in the first place. And it was his innocence and purity that had kept her attracted to him. She knew if that changed... her feelings towards him would change as well. Why would she want to change him? she wondered. If he changed, he wouldn't be Son Goku. At least, not the Son Goku she knew. What did she really want?

 

She looked up at him, confused, and then reached up and touched his cheek gently. "I love you, Goku-sa. I love you for who you are. Maybe you love me as much as I love you, maybe you don't. But I can't expect you to change, I don't want you to change!" She leaned into him, sighing.

 

Boy, she was certainly hard to understand, he thought as he held her against him. But he was glad she seemed to be done crying.

 

"I love you, too, Chi-Chi," he said as he dipped his head and kissed her. "I wish you would believe me," he whispered against her mouth.

 

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Gohan sighed as his father went upstairs after his mother. His mother had been crying a lot lately, and Gohan hadn't known how to stop her. He thought she must have missed Goku, but sometimes he wondered if any of it was his fault as well, so he tried his best to do everything she wanted him to, hoping she wouldn't cry. She still cried, though, and that had made Gohan feel more helpless than he had felt even when he had been kidnapped by Radditz and later by Piccolo. At least with Radditz he had thought his father was going to save him, and with Piccolo he hadn't really believed the Namek had wanted to hurt him. With his mother... he wanted to make her feel better, but didn't know how.

 

Gohan walked out of the house and sat on the porch step, wondering what he should do. He looked up at the fluffy white clouds scudding above him in the sky, and tried not to listen to the sound of his mother weeping. When she cried, it made him want to cry. He knew it had to somehow be his fault. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do whatever it was she wanted him to do, so that she wouldn't cry anymore.

 

"Mommy, don't cry," he whispered sadly, as he scuffed at the dirt with a shoe. He stood up and walked away, deciding he would go see his dragon again. His dragon could almost always cheer him up. He flew off, making sure he didn't go so far that he couldn't sense his father's ki.

 

To be continued.....

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And in the next exciting episode of DragonBall Z: A Light in the Darkness... Vegeta: "I am wildly, insanely jealous of a moron. Got a problem with that?"

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OK, first the answers to that little quiz I gave. First off, every one of them was fanon, not canon. Yeah, trick questions! ^_^

1) Goku and Vegeta like to spar together occasionally.
A) They never actually do, unless it's after the Buu saga. That's purely a fanon creation.

2) During the three years before the androids arrived, the Z warriors got together a lot for little reunions and parties.
A) Never. That's purely in fanfic. Think about it. If they ever had gotten together, they would have at least have been able to guess about Bulma and Vegeta. Yet no one ever did, and Bulma was surprised that Goku guessed about Trunks' parentage. If she had EVER discussed it with any of the others - especially Chi-Chi! - she wouldn't have been surprised, she would simply have assumed he had found out from someone else. But no one suspected she had any interest in Vegeta, and no one knew she had a baby. So they never got together, other than Piccolo, Goku, and Gohan to train. And Yamcha occasionally to CC, because he did know about the baby and Vegeta.

3) Yamcha cheated on Bulma.
A) Fanon creation. Yes, Mirai Trunks comments that his mother told him that Yamcha had been fickle. But think about it. Would she be honest about it? "Yes, honey. You were the result of a one-night-stand when I cheated on my boyfriend." Hardly! Bulma's not the type to let herself look bad that way. She's more likely to figure that since the others were dead, it couldn't hurt to lie a little, make herself not look so bad. Remember Mirai Bulma was SHOCKED when Mirai Trunks told her that Vegeta had shown some caring towards him. And for those that assume because in one of the first DBZ episodes Yamcha didn't deny cheating on her, think about it. If you've ever seen Dragonball, you know she was accusing him even when they were kids, and it was entirely unwarranted. After ten years of that, don't you think YOU would get a bit sick of it? It's more likely he just got tired of fighting with her about it. The few times you see him in situations with other women - even in DBZ - he gets nervous and flustered. NOT the signs of a man who is a womanizer. I've written a whole thing about this on my website. You should read it, if you really think he was a womanizer. ^_~

4) Bulma is a bad cook.
5) Fanon. Trunks says at least once that his mother is a good cook. Fanfic writers wanted something for Bulma and Vegeta to argue about all the time, so made her a bad cook. It just happened to stick, because people either liked the idea, or they didn't realize it was fanon.

5) Bulma and Vegeta like to insult each other all the time.
A) Nope. We never even see them in the same scenes in the anime other than the Cell Games, and then Vegeta pretty much ignores Bulma at those times. He gets irritated that she fusses over Trunks, but he doesn't insult her. In the first scene where we see them together - when Vegeta is wearing the Bad Man shirt and Bulma wants to see Freeza - in the dubs he calls her an idiot. In the subs he is surprised, but admires her courage. VERY different attitudes. He does get irritated with her when she tells them she recognized Gero, but he calls her "Bulma", not "woman", and I don't recall him actually insulting her. (Although she does tell him he's scaring Trunks, even in the subs.) So SHE sometimes insults him, but he never reciprocates.

Yes, every single answer was "No". ^_^ They're all fanon, not canon. Amazing what people assume about the series, based on ideas from fanfics, ne? ^_~

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Reviewer responses:

butterflyV: Um... no, actually he didn't give in. He gave her the response I've seen so many men give a woman when they're not interested, but don't want to hurt their feelings. He certainly didn't seem eager to me, he appeared more nervous than anything else. Besides, Maron isn't canon. She wasn't created by Toriyama. She was created by the animation team for their filler episodes, when they were waiting on Toriyama to write more manga so they would know where to take the anime. That's why so many scenes in DBZ drag out as well. In Japan, the manga came out once a month, and the anime came out once a week. So they had to drag out for episodes to cover only one issue of manga. Caused really slow scenes at times, and lots of filler. The Garlic Jr. saga was all filler, as was "Z Warriors Prepare". But because of that, I refuse to use Maron as an argument for anything, because Toriyama didn't create her or have anything to do with the scenes she's in.

Donna: You are right, they're all fanon. ^_^ But the Mirai Trunks thing wasn't a mistranslation per se, it was simply that Mirai Bulma didn't tell her son the truth. Which is completely in character for her; she doesn't like to look bad in front of anyone.

Heerosgurl: Well, one of the things they get into in the Ranma 1/2 series is that Ryouga has absolutely the worst sense of direction and distance, so he keeps getting lost. But that itself never explains how he ends up on the other side of the world, without having to take either a boat or a plane. (And he couldn't have swum. When he gets splashed with cold water, he turns into a tiny black pig. A tiny black piglet couldn't possibly swim across the ocean, it would have drowned.) So obviously he has some sort of bizarre teleporting ability, although Takahashi - the writer of Ranma 1/2 - never gets into it. As for the brother... well, more will be revealed about that later. ^_^ (And we're spoiling it for readers reading this fic for the first time right now. ^_~)

vegetachanlover: Yes, we tried to always have important plot points throughout. That's why I finally gave up on the idea of writing a PG-13 version of this. Most of the lemon isn't just filler, much of it is integral to the plot and characterization. But these chapters get into the Goku/Gohan/Chi-Chi side of the story, which I'm sure you already know if you've read this before. ^_~

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Don't forget to review! ^_^