Trinity Blood Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Shadows of Time ❯ Chapter 18

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: The Shadows of Time

Author: Ryukotsusei

Fandom: Inuyasha and Trinity Blood

Rating: NC 17

Warnings: Violence, torture, language, lemons, spoilers for the entire series just to be safe, and the possibility of out of character characterizations. Read at your own risk.

Pairings: Tres Iqus x Kagome Higurashi x Abel Nightroad

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or Trinity Blood. The series belong to Rumiko Takahashi, and the late Sunao Yoshido. I make no money off of this fan fiction.

Author's Note: Sorry this took so much time to post. I'm still sorting things out from the move. Hopefully the next chapter will be posted on time, thank you for your patience.

Chapter Eighteen

It had been just over a month since Naraku had died and it had finally sunk in that the demon wasn't coming back. Yet even though they'd finally accepted that fact, certain members of the group still had a hard time believing it. And why wouldn't they with what had happened the first time?

Kagome especially was having a hard time coming to grips with it. Nightmares had been a near constant for the miko and more than once she'd woken her companions up with her screaming while she relived the terror of being burned alive. But there was nothing that they could do but reassure her that Naraku was gone and that nothing like that was going to happen again. Tres especially had a hard time dealing with her nightmares since the emotions they brought forth also traveled down the bond that they shared and tended to try to pull him into them as well. At those times, it seemed like Abel had been the anchor for both of them, even if he seemed to be having trouble dealing with them himself.

It had been a difficult trial to overcome, but the miko was slowly beginning to come to terms with the reality of the situation. Nothing could change what she had been through, but she at least had the knowledge that both her future self and her family were safe. That in itself was enough to make her feel slightly better, even if it saddened her to know that she'd never see them again.

'I can't think about that now.' The thought crossed her mind as she pulled the shawl she was wearing a bit tighter to ward off the slight chill in the air. There were other things to worry about now and that was precisely the reason she was searching for Kaede. It'd been hell convincing Tres to let her walk through the village alone, but her determination had paid off and the man was currently in the hut brooding over the rejection of his company.

Worry caused Kagome to bite her bottom lip while she scanned the vast garden. Finally she spotted the older woman in the far corner of the field, and she set off to go and speak with her. If anyone could answer the questions she had, it would be the older miko, even though she was pretty sure her suspicions were correct. 'I should have known better, how could I have been so damned stupid?'

“Kaede?” Kagome called softly, pulling the old woman's attention from collecting her herbs. When her friend turned to look at her, she took a deep breath. There just wasn't any easy way to go about doing this. “Can we talk?”

Nodding slowly, Kaede brushed the dirt off of her hands and stood up. Kagome had been acting strangely ever since they'd returned, but over the past couple of days she'd seemed more stressed than normal. Yet all the questions about whether she was all right or not had been brushed off without explanation. Perhaps now the young woman would open up to her. “Aye, child. What seems to be troubling ye?”

“I've been... meaning to ask about that tea,” Kagome replied quietly and shifted uncomfortably. Anxiously she looked around to make sure that they were quite alone with no possibility of being overheard. For this she would much rather have been in the hut, but then they'd be guaranteed no privacy.

“Do you need more of the herbs?” Kaede asked with a raised brow. That would certainly explain the girl's discomfort, especially with how much time she'd been spending around Tres. Perhaps the man wished for more close contact and he was tired of Kagome denying him. The supply of tea that she'd given the girl had to have run out while they were still on the journey to find Naraku.

“Not... quite.” Kagome said uneasily, “I kinda' need to know... Are there any side effects to taking the tea?” Seeing the woman's blank look she hurried to continue, “I mean like missed cycles or anything like that?” It was the closest she could come to voicing her suspicions without saying it outright.

“Hmm, perhaps if ye steeped the herbs too long and it strengthened the dose, but generally that is not a concern,” Kaede said and gave the girl an appraising look. Something told her, though, that wasn't something the girl in front of her would have done, not unless she'd gotten distracted. But to render those effects, it would have had to have been done repeatedly.

Kagome couldn't keep herself from wincing when she heard the answer. She hadn't thought that was the case, but she had to ask. “What about... if the tea is diluted? Will it still be as effective?”

“How far diluted did ye make it?” Kaede asked uneasily. With all the questions, the situation was becoming clear to her. No, Kagome wouldn't make a mistake by steeping the tea too long. But would she continue taking it at such a weak dose that it would no longer work? 'Aye, if she could not find more of the herbs she would. Oh child, what have ye done?'

“I... was almost out of tea, back before the fight with Naraku. I tried to make it last, but eventually it might as well have been water. There really wasn't any color to it,” Kagome said and stared at the ground to avoid seeing Kaede's expression change. She wasn't sure how the old woman would react, but she didn't want to deal with any disapproval at the moment. Things were about to get hard enough as it was.

Kaede sighed quietly upon hearing just what Kagome had done. The girl had to have known that she was taking a chance; she wasn't stupid after all. Most likely she'd sought to replace her supply, but with how uncommon some of the ingredients were, she might have had a hard time obtaining them. “How long has it been since ye last cycled, Kagome?”

“Over a month ago,” Kagome said, unable to deny the truth of the matter. If her body had been on time, she would have had her period about two weeks ago. When she realized she was a week late, she'd hoped that it was just stress causing it. But as the second week had rolled around, she'd been forced to consider the possibility that it wasn't the cause. Nor would it be long before the others realized that something was up since Inuyasha was already giving her strange looks. 'I've heard family pets can figure out if their owner is pregnant, so it wouldn't surprise me if Inuyasha could too.'

“I hope ye realize what this means, child,” Kaede said gently, knowing that the girl was distraught and with good reason. Even she had no idea how either of the men would feel to know that Kagome was with child, although she had her guesses. Father Tres was standoffish and reserved with most people aside from Father Nightroad and Kagome, whereas the Crusnik was more open and friendly, especially towards children.

“I know,” Kagome said and looked back towards the hut where Tres was, “What am I going to do now?” While she didn't know where Abel was, she knew that he had to be somewhere close by.'How do I even tell them? I don't think saying Surprise, I'm pregnant would go over that well.'

“Do ye know which one is the father?” Kaede asked, ignoring the girl's mumbled question for the moment. There wasn't much that she could do except wait for the child to be born. In the meantime though, there were preparations that would have to be made.

Silently Kagome shook her head. While she hadn't lain with either of the two priests since the battle, the last time that she had it had been with each of them in a short time frame. Either one of them being the father was equally likely and she'd have no way of knowing until it was born.

“Perhaps now would be a good time to think about how ye would like to tell them,” Kaede advised. Something told her that it wouldn't be long before the secret was out anyway. Inuyasha detecting the pregnancy was always a possibility, but even if he didn't, Kagome was very slight in build. By the time she was two or three months along, there would be tell tale signs that would be impossible to hide.

“Yeah, but how?” Kagome said with a groan and resisted the sudden urge she had to purge her stomach. There were no illusions that this was morning sickness. No, this was just the realization that she was going to have to face the others soon enough and admit that she was so irresponsible. While they probably wouldn't object to the pregnancy so much, they would be pissed that it had happened while they were still hunting Naraku. 'What if we hadn't killed him then? I'd be putting everyone at risk unless I stayed in the village.' However she knew that had that happened, neither Abel nor Tres would have been willing to leave her unguarded in the village. It would have meant Inuyasha and the others going off alone, just to keep Naraku from getting stronger. 'Someone would have died this time and it would have been because of me.'

Eventually Kaede stepped up beside the younger woman and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “It's best not to concern thyself with the past right now. Instead focus on the future and what must be done. They need to know, and ye are the only one who should tell them. Do not make the mistake of allowing them to find out through other means.”

“You're probably right,” Kagome said with a sigh. She could already imagine the reactions she'd get if they figured it out on their own, or worse, heard it from someone else. Then they'd demand to know why she kept it a secret from them. Not to mention, they were already convinced that there was something wrong with her just from the way she'd been acting lately.'As if I could be normal with everything that's happened. Hell, I feel like I've been put through the wringer and the day isn't over yet.'

“Then I'll be seeing ye later in the day. Return to the hut, child, before ye catch a chill. I'm sure that Father Tres is anxiously waiting for ye to return,” Kaede advised and ushered the girl off. Now that she was aware of the situation, there were things that even she needed to begin doing. Special herbs and vegetables that were rich in nutrients would need to be gathered to keep the girl's health up, especially with winter approaching.

Heeding the older woman's words, Kagome began walking back towards the hut they were all staying in. Her approach was slow and deliberate, while her mind raced over all the different ways she could approach the subject. Talking to her lovers one at a time seemed to be the best option, or at least, the least overwhelming one. Sure, it meant that she would have to go through 'the talk' twice, but it kept her stress at a lower level. Or she hoped so anyway, there was no telling how she would ultimately end up feeling when it happened.

“So did Kaede tell you what you needed to hear?” Inuyasha asked, appearing at Kagome's side like he'd been there all along.

“You were spying on me?” Kagome asked, her voice flat in spite of the exasperation she felt. Sometimes she wished the hanyou was a little less adept at hiding, it would save her a few headaches at any rate.

Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders in response, “Call it what you want, but I knew anyway. So are you going to tell them now?” It was slightly surprising to him that the other two males hadn't noticed her condition yet, but he supposed that could be blamed on Abel's case of being preoccupied with something. And Tres just didn't know the signs, so at least he had an excuse for being oblivious.

“It's not like I have much of a choice, do I?” Kagome replied quietly, not bothering to look at the hanyou.

“You've got a point,” Inuyasha said and looked towards the hut, “For what it's worth, I don't think either one of them is going to freak out. The timing might not be the best and you three have got a lot of shit to figure out, but I think they'll be happy.”

Kagome wished that she could be so sure, but it seemed to be beyond her capabilities at the moment. It was strange really, that she wasn't more excited about this. Wasn't it supposed to be every girl's dream to get married and have a family? Yet when had her dreams ever come true, and if they even did come close to being realized, there was always something to put a damper on things.'Like not being sure who the father of your child is? Or better yet, how they're even going to take it. Abel and Tres are still not on the best of terms and I'm not sure how to fix things between them.'

“I hope you're right,” Kagome murmured and then parted company with her long time friend. This was not something that she wanted an audience for and as she stepped inside the hut, she was relieved to see that Tres was the only one inside. It would have been just her luck that someone would have snuck in while she was talking with Kaede. When the redhead looked up at her from his spot on the floor, she offered him a tentative smile, “Hey, can we talk for a bit?”

Feeling the trepidation coming from the miko, Tres nodded his head a bit warily. There was no telling what had set Kagome on edge, and he didn't like it. However, if she was finally willing to open up, it meant that he could deal with whatever was troubling her.

Kagome knew that he was waiting for her to continue, so she took a seat across from the fire so that she could look at him. As much as she wanted the reassurance that his closeness would bring, there was no guaranteeing she'd get it. Finally she took a deep breath and began to speak, “Tres, have you ever... considered a family before?”

“Negative,” Tres replied immediately and then scrutinized her carefully, “What would prompt you to ask this question?”

“Curiosity,” Kagome said and fidgeted beneath his gaze, “I mean... you know that it's bound to happen sometime right? We're not exactly married, but it's close enough. Sooner or later we're looking at the possibility of kids.” Again she nibbled her lip when she realized that he didn't exactly look convinced about her explanation, not that she blamed him anyway. There was so much more to it than just mere curiosity. “Do you even like kids, Tres?”

“They are of no great importance,” Tres said, thinking back to the time when Lady Caterina had ordered him to kill Elise because she possessed the power of touch telepathy. The threat the young girl had posed was great, and he could understand the need to eliminate her, even though in the end he hadn't been able to do so. Pulling himself from his memories, he fixed her with a harder look, “Your reasoning for the question is incomplete, please elaborate in detail why you are asking.”

“No great importance, huh?” Kagome felt as if she could cry. Granted, she wasn't expecting him to jump up and down for joy at the idea, but something more of a positive response would have gone a long way to making her feel better. “And if I told you that I was expecting a child, would it still be of no great importance?”

“I would question your certainty to your condition,” Tres replied matter-of-factly and began to pull on information he'd gained while he lived within the Vatican, “A woman in her twenties takes on average five months to conceive while actively trying. You should test to confirm your theory.”

The way he'd said that as if he was reading something out of a book had Kagome staring at him like he'd grown a second head. “Does it look like I can just run outside and find a damned stick to pee on?” she exclaimed in disbelief. “Where the hell do you get these statistics?”

“Why... would you need a stick to pee on?” Shippo asked uncertainly, just having walked through the door. The spoken words had stopped him cold and he had to do a double take before blinking in surprise. This had to be the strangest thing he'd ever heard come out of her mouth.

“Oh my god,” Kagome moaned and wished for a sturdy enough wall to beat her head against.'How the hell am I going to explain this one?' It was just her luck that Shippo had chosen that exact moment to come in. “It's not important, Shippo. We were just having a private discussion is all.”

“Are you sure, Kagome?” Shippo looked at her doubtfully, “If you need a stick, I'll go get one for you.” While he might not understand what she needed to pee on one for, if Tres wouldn't get it for her, then it would be up to him.

“I'm positive, Shippo,” Kagome said, her expression one of complete mortification, “Can you do me a favor and wait outside. It won't be long, I promise.” Right now all she wanted was for the kit to leave so she could die of embarrassment in peace, right after she kicked Tres in the shin for putting her in that position in the first place.

“Okay, but you might want to hurry. I saw Father Nightroad heading towards the coast and he wouldn't say where he was going,” Shippo replied uneasily. That had been the only reason that he'd come in to begin with, because as far as he knew the man had no reason to go that far from the village.

“That's odd,” Kagome muttered to herself and decided that she'd better hurry up with this discussion and then find out what Abel was up to. She knew that they'd been discussing building a hut of their own since they couldn't stay in Kaede's forever, but to her knowledge they weren't even considering something near the ocean.

Once Shippo left the hut, she cleared her thoughts of the Crusnik and settled back to deal with Tres. “I hope you realize that there's no sort of pregnancy test that I can take in this time period. Trust me on that one. So my question still stands, if I told you I was pregnant, would it still be of no great importance?”

Tres stared at her hard for several long moments, trying to gauge just how serious she was. There was nothing in her demeanor that would indicate that she was proposing a hypothetical situation, so it left him with no other option but to seriously consider her question. What would he think? His brows furrowed for a moment; he'd never really considered the possibility. This was new territory he was getting into here and he had no previous experiences to draw upon. “It would be... something new to adjust to.”

'I suppose that's his way of saying he has no idea how to take this.' The thought wasn't exactly a comforting one, but it was better than him rejecting the possibility completely. “I guess it will have to do,” she sighed, “It's not like I can go back in time and change this anyway so you're going to end up getting a crash course in parenting.”

“Does Father Nightroad know of the situation?” Tres asked curiously. For some reason it was important to know whether or not she'd come to him first, but as soon as he asked the question, another one came to him. “Which one of us is the father?”

“No he doesn't and I have no idea. It could be either your's or his since this happened just before we went into the mountain,” Kagome said and narrowed her eyes at the redhead, “What if it is his? Is this going to become another problem between the two of you?” So help her if it did, they were getting twin rosaries. It was going to be hard enough raising a child in this era without any of the comforts of her own time that made things easier. Putting up with two headstrong males on top of it would just be too much.

“Negative, it will have no bearing upon the situation,” Tres replied, even though he himself wasn't sure. To immediately go from not even considering the possibility of a family to having one and then finding out it might not even be his was a bit much to take. He couldn't give her the definitive answer that she sought, but to tell her that he was uncertain was just inviting trouble. He wasn't in the mood to listen to her lecture about his jealous tendencies.

“Good, I'm glad to hear it,” Kagome said, ignoring the niggling suspicion in the back of her mind that said Tres wasn't being completely truthful. It wasn't like she could call him on it anyway. “I guess I should go tell Abel now, assuming I can catch him. Which reminds me, do you know why he's heading to the coast?”

“Father Nightroad has been restless of late,” Tres replied, but didn't elaborate. He was fairly certain that he knew where the man was going and for a moment he wondered if it was, perhaps, best to find a reason to keep Kagome in the village. He, of all, people knew that the Crusnik didn't want a long drawn out goodbye and he'd been spending more and more time alone over the past month. Once his partner had been assured that Kagome would be okay, he'd begun to think about leaving again.

“I've noticed,” Kagome said and stood up from her spot on the floor, “Come on, it's time to go figure out what's bugging him.” When Tres didn't move, she raised an eyebrow in surprise, “Don't tell me you'd actually consider letting me leave the village on my own. What is the world coming to?”

“That is not an option,” Tres said flatly and gave the woman a serious look, “Do his actions concern you that much?” After all, it wasn't like this was the first time that the Crusnik went on a walk.

“Of course they're a concern,” Kagome said with a huff and crossed her arms, “Get up so we can get going.”

Wordlessly he did as she wanted and accompanied her out the door to find Kirara. As they walked he had to wonder if perhaps it had been wrong of him to hope that Kagome would just allow his partner to go.

Jealousy was not an attribute that one should encourage and in fact, envy which went hand in hand with jealousy, was one of the seven deadly sins. But he couldn't help but desire that Kagome would look solely at him. In the end, he knew it just wasn't possible, not while Father Nightroad remained nearby. Keeping the Crusnik's plans from her would get him what he desired, but at what cost? How would she react if she ever learned that he had the knowledge that would have helped her stop Abel from leaving?

He studied her carefully as she climbed aboard the fire cat and then slid up behind her. She seemed to be awfully quiet and had a grim expression on her face which caused him to sigh. In the end, her reaction wasn't something that he wanted to contemplate too hard. Father Nightroad had demanded his word that he would say nothing to the miko, and thus far he hadn't. It had been Shippo that had tipped the woman off to the fact that the Crusnik was heading off to some unknown destination. To deny her request would not only cause her to go off on her own, but to also question him later as to whether or not he knew that Abel was going to leave.

That was something that was to be avoided at all cost. Even having known Kagome for as short a time as he had, he was well aware of how she would react to that situation. The betrayal that she would feel would be overwhelming, not to mention she might turn her back on him as well. Even if he were to discount how that would affect him, if she truly was with child, such stress could not be good for her. 'But is what Nightroad intends to do any better?' For that, he really didn't have an answer.

Kagome scanned the ground carefully as they flew, looking for any sign of the priest. With the coast being an hour's walk, there weren't too many places that he could be unless he was purposefully avoiding being found. That was entirely possible knowing that particular man and the thought made her more than a bit uneasy. And Tres seemed to be brooding, which wasn't helping her nerves any either. Something was definitely wrong, but she couldn't tell what it was. For all she knew, he could still be thinking over the idea that he might be a father in the next nine months and he wasn't sure how to take it. 'I'm not even sure how to take it. Of course he's not going to be excited about the prospect.'

Yet the closer they got to the coast the more nervous she got. There was a decent sized village there that had a variety of goods that could not be obtained anywhere else, but something told her that wasn't the reason he was there. Again the thought that he might be wanting to live there crossed her mind, however she wasn't sure why he wouldn't have brought it up before.

Suddenly the fire cat began picking up speed, causing Kagome to grip her fur tighter, “Have you found him, Kirara?” A slight growl was her only response, but Kagome took it as a good sign. They were now on the outskirts of the village and the fire cat was beginning to descend, although it wasn't fast enough to indicate they were right on top of him.

“Dammit, where are you, Abel?” Kagome muttered and squinted against the sunlight glinting off the water. She could see that a large boat was docked at the port and what looked to be supplies were being loaded. While she couldn't imagine what Abel would be doing there, it seemed to be exactly where Kirara was heading. Suddenly, she saw a head of silver hair, trapped in a high pony tail, heading towards the ship and Kagome's heart sank. “There he is, Kirara.”

Inwardly Tres was cursing the fact that they'd managed to arrive in time. Now he would be forced to watch this particular argument unfold when his own mind and heart were so divided. Ultimately the decision would be up to Abel and he'd already made up his mind not to interfere. If the Crusnik stayed, it would be because Kagome managed to convince him. He watched Kagome slide off of Kirara's back the moment that they touched the ground and he followed suit, although he remained by the fire cat's side. Now it was up to Kagome to challenge his partner's choice to leave.

“Abel?” Kagome called quietly as soon as she came within speaking distance. Although the man's back was turned, she knew that he had heard her by the way that he tensed. Suddenly it became all too clear what he was doing when he refused to face her. The small traveling bag in his hand spoke wonders. “You're leaving us.”

“I am,” Abel replied quietly and tightened his grip on the bag. Inwardly he was cursing the fact that she'd come. He'd been so close to his goal of vanishing without a trace and avoiding the long, drawn out goodbye that would invariably end in tears.

“Why?” Kagome asked in a strangled whisper, her heart breaking. “Why would you leave us? And without even saying goodbye. Do we mean that little to you?” She just didn't understand why he'd want to do such a thing. Was he truly that unhappy with the situation? With her?

After a long moment of silence, Abel answered, “I have to. I don't belong here, I never did. I had my orders to do a job and now it's finished.” As he spoke he could feel her anguish increasing with each word and his own heart ached, but he had to remain strong because this was for the best. The entire time he'd walked to the port, he'd tried to harden his heart to what he was about to do. He knew if Kagome managed to confront him, she'd use any weakness she felt to try and convince him to stay.

“You can't tell me that I was just a job to you. Maybe at first, but I know it didn't stay that way,” Kagome said, her eyes bright with tears. She didn't want to break down in front of him, but she had to make him see reason. “You say you don't belong here? Where do you think you're going to go? Rome holds nothing for you now, no friends, no family. This is your home now, Abel. Don't throw that all away.”

“That's where you're wrong, Kagome. I made a mistake and got too close. I was never meant to remain here and my life is still devoted to the church. The penance for my sins, for what I am, is to continue to protect humans. I must return and continue my life's work, even if my friends are not there to guide me,” Father Nightroad replied and turned to look at her once he had his mask firmly in place. He wouldn't allow her to see just how badly this was hurting him. It would just cause her to fight harder.

“And I suppose it never occurred to you to ask if I'd go with you, did it?” Kagome said and clenched her fists, “Hell, you know that Tres would agree to go back with you too. Stop being so damned selfish! You say you want to make a difference. What's stopping you from doing that here?”

“You are,” Abel replied flatly even though he inwardly winced at the way her expression changed. It was like he had slapped her and even Tres was looking at him in surprise. But still he pushed on, “There are wars going on in Europe even now. Battles are taking place where my skills would be better put to use. It is pointless for me to remain here.”

“There are wars going on here too,” Kagome countered hotly, “You don't have to travel half way around the world if all you're looking for is a damned fight. You've seen how the people here are suffering. If you want to make a difference, start here. If that still isn't enough for you, we can all go wherever you want. Just don't go, not like this.”

Father Nightroad fixed her with a irritated look, causing her to take a step back, “How can I possibly make a difference here? You know as well as I do that you can't possibly stay out of a fight that's not your own, especially when there's someone you care for involved. To keep you safe I would be chaining myself to your side, remaining in the village and doing nothing. You have Tres doing that already, you don't need me as well.”

“But we do need you,” Kagome growled in irritation. He was being exceedingly hardheaded and refusing to listen to reason. He wanted a purpose, a reason to stay? Oh she had one for him alright. “Fine, you want to go, then go. But not before you hear what I have to say.”

“I've heard more than enough, Kagome. There's nothing that you could say that would convince me to stay. You seem to believe this is something that I'm doing out of some sense of misguided duty, but it's not. I do not wish to remain here. You will accept this and move on,” Father Nightroad replied, causing the girl to fall silent. By now a crowd had gathered around them to witness the argument. Many were looking at him with disapproval, but he wasn't concerned with their opinions of him.

Kagome stared at the ground, unable to look at him. It seemed that everything she'd come to believe with him meant absolutely nothing. He viewed the time they'd spent together as a mistake that shouldn't have happened. He'd come to kill Naraku and gotten more than he'd bargained for. It was a bitter pill to swallow. “Nothing will make a difference then. Not the fact that I love you, nor that I wish for you to remain with us. Not even the fact that...”

“No, none of it matters,” Abel replied, cutting her off in mid sentence. He couldn't listen anymore, not when she was quickly wearing down his will to carry through with his plans. This was what was best for them all, but mostly for her. It would pain her now, he could see that clearly. But in the end, she would recover and be all the stronger for it. The relationship she had with Tres would be allowed to grow stronger without interference and eventually the wounds he'd inflicted on her heart would heal. He stared at her for one last moment, memorizing every detail of her face. It was an image that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Slowly he turned from her and whispered, “Goodbye, Kagome.”

There was no response as he walked up the plank onto the ship, and thankfully, she didn't attempt to follow him. Only once he was settled below deck did he allow his head to sink into his hands and for the first time since Noelle had died, he cried for what he had lost.

End of Chapter Eighteen