Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Not Now, Not Ever ❯ Sunday in the Park with Aya ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Weiss Kreuz is not owned by me and wishing never made it so. This is work of fanfiction and is not for profit.

 

A/N: This is my first fic, forgive me if it shows. Thanks to moimoi-chan and KD Sarge for the encouragement. Thanks to Marasmine for being a patient and thorough beta.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

 

`Aya-chan is alive and awake. She's in a good school. She has nice friends. She knows the truth, most of it anyway, and doesn't hate me. But, there must be more that I can do for her.'

 

“Brother, you know that I love you, right?” Aya-chan's voice interrupted his reverie. They had taken sanctuary at a small café when a summer storm had suddenly cut their time in the park short. The question was apropos of nothing and it caught Aya quite off guard.

 

“Hn.” It was the only reasonable response to a question he didn't feel comfortable answering. Even with Aya-chan, words often failed him; nevertheless, she always seemed to understand him.

 

“Good,” she answered, interpreting his grunt as an affirmative. “And you know that, though I can never truly understand all of it, I appreciate everything you went through for me, too.” That was not a question. They'd been over it enough that there simply was no question. Aya knew how grateful his sister was to have her life back. He also knew that she missed the boy he once had been, but loved the man he'd become just as much. He continued to study Aya-chan's face as she spoke, trying to catch her train of thought and determine the destination. He couldn't.

 

“And, naturally, you know that I'll always need you. You're my only brother, my only blood.”

 

Aya nodded his assent. `Where is this going?' He felt a spike of panic as his mind raced ahead.

 

“Good. Then, with all of these things in mind, there's something I need you to do for me,” she said seriously.

 

Aya sat up, leaned forward a little, his entire focus on Aya-chan. `Anything.' Anything she wanted he would do. He lived to be of service to her. They both knew this. They both knew there was nothing he could or would ever deny her. He watched her, expectantly. Waiting only for a command to obey, a wish to fulfill.

 

For the second time that day, she managed to shock him. It wasn't really that difficult considering his lack of social skills. He could barely make small talk, much less figure out what the average person thought. He could anticipate the moves of an opponent as well as any mind reader. He often knew what his teammates were thinking. Well, Ken and Omi, anyway. Their faces were so open most of the time as to seem incapable of deceit. His other teammate, now that was a different story. That man could be so damn infuriating! The way he disguised himself with empty grins and tight clothes that revealed just enough to be distracting, to provide temptation, to make you want to…

 

`Stop! Do not even go there. Just focus. Your sister is trying to tell you something, you selfish bastard. Pay attention!' He lifted his eyes to meet Aya-chan's. He found her studying him, her eyes sparkling with impishness…and knowledge. He blushed. It was as though she knew where his thoughts had been heading. And approved, if her smile was anything to go by. He tried to glare. He didn't want his baby sister thinking those things. He surely didn't want her to know that he was thinking those things! Her smile widened in the face of his discomfort. “Wasn't there something you wanted to ask me?” He was desperate to shift her thoughts to something more appropriate. Instantly, her face became serious once more.

 

“Live. I want you to live.” It was a simple demand, yet it encompassed so much. For once, Aya had a pretty good idea what his sister meant. However, wanting to assume nothing, he waited for her to elaborate. After a moment, she did.

 

“Oniichan, I know that you would do anything for me, but I have what I need for now. I have you and the others, who are as much family to me as they are to you. I consider all of them my brothers. I've made friends at school. I'm happy with my life, truly. It's enough for me. But it's my life, Ran, not yours.”

 

A cold wave of dread crashed over his with her words. `She's disappointed. I'm doing something wrong.' He knew that he'd been stifling her, which was why he hadn't argued (much) about her living on campus. It was more convenient for her and it gave her the independence she'd craved since waking up. He missed her presence at home terribly and worried constantly, but managed not to drag her back to the Koneko.

 

Aya-chan gave Ran a moment to process. She watched as each self-recrimination flickered in his eyes. She patiently waited for his mind to stop reeling before she continued.

 

“I am not disappointed in you. You have been mother, father, brother, and friend to me for a year now. But, Ran, there is more for you than what we have. I am not criticizing you. You're not doing anything wrong. I know that you will never have a `normal' life, that you'll never be free from your past deeds and current affiliations, but that doesn't mean that you can't have any life at all. You have a responsibility to yourself as much as to me, but you've been neglecting it. Ran, there are people who know you. They know what you've been through, what you're still dealing with. They care for you and want to be closer to you. Let them. Please.” Her serious demeanor and the pleading in her expression spoke of her sincerity. Aya knew that this was what she believed was best for him.

 

He didn't have to ask about whom she was speaking. He had come to think of Weiss as family too, though, in many ways he was still holding them at arm's length. In truth, things had gotten so strained with Yohji that lately, Aya felt closer to Ken and Omi. He rued that fact, but tried not to dwell on it. Aya-chan, it seemed, was on to him. `Somehow, she always knows.' As if on cue, she spoke again.

 

“What was between you and Kudoh before I woke up?”

 

“Friendship, camaraderie,” he answered honestly.

 

“But he wanted more?”

 

He didn't know what to say. He didn't really know the answer. He'd never taken the opportunity to find out what Yohji wanted. The opportunity had been there once, but he missed it. He didn't answer. She, unfailingly, read his silence perfectly.

 

“I see. So, you wanted more.” Again, it wasn't a question. She sighed. She had known going into this conversation that it wasn't going to be easy, but a modicum of cooperation from her brother would have gone a long way. It didn't matter. She was the only one he would talk to and she was hell-bent on making that happen. Abyssinian's single-minded bullheadedness was a Fujimiya family trait.

 

“Have you talked to him?” She didn't know why she bothered to ask that particular question, already knowing the answer. She wasn't the least bit surprised when she received only stony silence in response either. `Ok, let's try a different tack.' She had a pretty good idea on how to spur her brother to action.

 

“You know, I could always talk to him for you. Pass him a note in study hall, that sort of thing?” She used her sweetest voice while simultaneously giving Ran her most mischievous grin. Her big, sparkling eyes held a hint of threat.

 

Ran's own eyes widened in surprise yet again. He was beginning to think she'd spent too much time with Yohji. Then he remembered that this playfulness was an aspect of a Kudoh that she'd never met. The man she loved as another brother was far different from the one that Aya had wanted to possess those many, many months ago. He suddenly realized how much he missed `the old Yohji.' He'd gotten better or at least, better at pretending, than he'd been immediately after killing Neu. Aya knew that Yohji was genuinely happy to have Aya-chan in their lives. He worked hard to keep up appearances for her sake, but he was still a shadow of the man he'd been. The light was gone from his eyes and his smiles never made it further than his lips. He was kind to Aya-chan and sometimes innocently flirted with her, but it was still subdued.

 

Again, Aya-chan was watching him as though reading his mind. And, perhaps she was. When the roiling thoughts and emotions began to settle into something cohesive he met her eyes.

 

“I don't know what to do. You are first. First in my affections, first in my thoughts, first in my priorities. It's the only way I know.” It was simple, honest, and pure Ran, not Aya. Not at all. Weiss would have dropped dead to hear him speak thus.

 

“I know. And it means everything to me. But things have changed, for both of us and it's time to find another way. I'll help you, I promise. I think you know where to start though,” she prodded, gently.

 

“I don't know if I can,” he grudgingly admitted. Aya did not like to feel confused or weak and this conversation was causing both. He was quickly losing his patience with it. He couldn't go back to being Ran, not entirely. Many of Ran's characteristics had no place in Aya's life. They were liabilities he couldn't afford. But, maybe there was some sort of balance that could be achieved. Some happy medium between the cold, heartless bastard, Abyssinian and the naïve, caring bookworm, Ran. Maybe.

 

Aya-chan steeled herself. She didn't want to hurt her brother, but she knew that she would have to, just a little, to make him see truth. “You can and you must. Please, try to understand. I can still be first, but I can't be all. It's too much pressure. It scares me and it's stunting both of us.”

 

He smiled.

 

Aya-chan nearly fell off of her chair. `He just smiled! He's either taking this a lot better or a lot worse than expected.' The smile could have been acceptance or the onset of psychosis. Best to find out straightaway.

 

“You smiled.”

 

“Hn.”

 

“It was chilling.”

 

“Hn,” followed by a snort of laughter that was poorly hidden behind a glare. Aya-chan raised an eyebrow in question. “You're right, of course. And, I'm sorry for making you feel stifled and stunted. I guess I still have some adjusting to do. I was just wondering when you got so wise, little sister. And, I was thinking that if this is what two years of sleep does for insight, I know a few people who should try it.”

 

Someone alert the media! The end is coming! The apocalypse approaches!

 

Ran smiled, told her she was right, and made a joke about her coma. All in under five minutes. It was nothing short of a miracle. She reached over and pinched his arm.

 

“What the hell was that for?!”

 

“Just making sure I'm awake.”

 

“Hn. You're supposed to pinch yourself, not me.”

 

“Why would I want to do that? It's so much better to pinch you. Brotherly duty and all that.” She beamed at him. He shook his head and sighed. Looking out of the front window he noticed that the sky had cleared, the storm moving on toward the sea. With the passing of those clouds, something dark that had been hovering around his heart seemed to dissipate as well. Maybe he could do this. Maybe.